I had a little lump on my back, had it checked a couple of years ago, nothing to worry about just a cyst. But the stupid thing gets bigger and bigger, then decides to get infected somehow and after a few days of 'it will go away' it didn't. Had it slit this morning and felt every needle and cut. This ain't nice at all and to top it all I have to go and get the sticky dressing changed in two days which will give nursey great pleasure ripping it off my hairy back.
I thought I would let you all know so when you hear a scream followed by some choice language on Thursday you will know who it is.
I had a cyst cut out of my back years ago.
I felt a lot of pressure when they did it, but no pain.
Driving myself to the hospital was a stupid idea though, couldn't sit back in the seat trying to drive home again.
I also got fed up with the supposedly dissolvable stitches not dissolving, so removed them myself with some nail clippers.
Don't they use local anaesthetic down there Ace?
Quote from: pumpkinlover on July 10, 2012, 12:51:14
Don't they use local anaesthetic down there Ace?
I think they pretend to. More than likely the ice cubes from the doctors gin and tonic, he sounded a bit three sheets to the wind this morning.
Quote from: ACE on July 10, 2012, 12:58:35
Quote from: pumpkinlover on July 10, 2012, 12:51:14
Don't they use local anaesthetic down there Ace?
I think they pretend to. More than likely the ice cubes from the doctors gin and tonic, he sounded a bit three sheets to the wind this morning.
Just ask for the gin and tonic yourself next time ;)
Good luck on Thursday then.
Think you may need it :-X :-X
Hope the nurse is nice and does it quick, rather than peeling it one hair at a time.
if we hear something thats like greek traditional music(pling pling pling) we will know its the plaster slowlyyyy being peeled away ;D
Quote from: brownowl23 on July 10, 2012, 14:57:33
Hope the nurse is nice
Where are these nice pretty nurses nowadays, not around this way. The one in the clinic holds you in a headlock to take your temperature. I might be lucky and she will be out training with the russian shot put team. And ugly, I kid you not. If my dog had a face like hers I would shave his @rse and teach him to walk backwards.
I can picture her now with her knee in the small of my back while she yanks the plaster off. You would think she would be nice to me after I gave her a shaving kit for xmas one year.
^^^ ;D ;D ;D
I love reading your comments Ace, always puts a smile on my face.. keep them coming..
I once had a massive cyst on my neck - I was known as Two Heads at work for a while as it was huge. The d**n thing was right on the collar line..
So I went to my local doc who scowled at me in the way docs do to make it seem like it was my fault...
Shaking his head he scribbled a note and said "Go to the hospital - you need that lanced"...
Well I was working shifts at the time so I told him that I could make it in maybe 4 or 5 days time.
He wasn't at all happy about that and went all old school one - ranting that people can die of these things and that if it burst I would get septisemia or some other equally misspelt condition..
So I popped along the the Hospital and a lovely nurse numbed at and had at it with a scaple... Boy the relief was good but I did feel a little sorry for the nurse as it stank like someone had vomitted in a cess pit and left it to ferment.. She said that she loved doing cysts as you could see the instant relief it bought.. I thought her a little unbalanced.
Believe it or not and dont ask how I know but there are websites devoted to this sort of thing - you have been warned!!! http://www.popthatzit.com
Believe it or not and dont ask how I know but there are websites devoted to this sort of thing - you have been warned!!!
:o...EEK!....YUCK!.... ::) Thanks for that Chris..most informative site.. ;D
Oh Ace, you poor old thing.
Maybe you should take a few Gin and Ts before you go, or better still share them with the shot putting nurse.
You could also loosen the plaster before you go, if it is hanging on by a thread she won't get so much of a kick out of it.
Good luck
XX Jeannine
Ooh - I do like a good wound dressing ;)
Do you want me to comr and hold your hand ;D
Men are such wimps, try giving birth. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: ACE on July 10, 2012, 15:39:22
Where are these nice pretty nurses nowadays, not around this way. The one in the clinic holds you in a headlock to take your temperature. I might be lucky and she will be out training with the russian shot put team. And ugly, I kid you not. If my dog had a face like hers I would shave his @rse and teach him to walk backwards.
I can picture her now with her knee in the small of my back while she yanks the plaster off. You would think she would be nice to me after I gave her a shaving kit for xmas one year.
I now have tears running down my face with suppressed laughter at my desk over this one!!! Oh well the workmates already think I am two rungs short on the ladder so....
Dont be mean to the poor nurse Ace. Slowly pulling plasters off hairy gorilla like backs are the only pleasures we are allowed to have in the NHS these days. :P
It was a bloke nurse this time or it might have been a passing biker having a hook around in there to get the wick out, but I had to go to A & E as something went wrong in the night and the bed looked like a butchers shop, blood and snot everywhere.
Dressing needs changing everyday now, so more joy for the shot putter. I will sweet talk her tomorrow and get her a bottle of Brut for a present, then I might be able wangle some spare dressings and let the Yeti in pink knickers get in on the act. A length of 4" by 2" by my side and she will bit gentler, I bet.
Honestly, all this drama over a zit ::)
Quote from: Ellen K on July 12, 2012, 09:32:37
Honestly, all this drama over a zit ::)
You ain't seen nothing yet, just wait till I get man flu.
I can't believe I just spent 20 minutes of my life following that link you gave and watching folk squeezing boils and having gunk winkled out of their tonsils......... ::) I am clearly in the right job! ;D
..and don't be such a baby.......... ;D My friend had a rectal abcess lanced, and it was so painful to have the pack and dressing removed he had to have pethidine first......! :o
You ain't seen nothing yet, just wait till I get man flu.
[/quote]
I had that last week, either that or Yorkie Flu - not for girls!
Quote from: Ellen K on July 12, 2012, 09:32:37
Honestly, all this drama over a zit ::)
Actually a cyst is not a zit, or to give it it's proper English name, a pimple. They are distinctly different.
As someone who suffered massively with acne from 15 to 30 I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss spots or pimples either..
I had a boil under my arm and a cyst in a more unmentionable place.The outcome was that both times they burst at home and I had to deal with them myself.They were both worthy of a film had I but known ;D
I had a run off them on my forearms.. some got lanced some burst. Then I got one on my face just below the eye.. that had to be drained in hospital... yeak! :-X
Well would you believe it you don't see a pretty nurse for years then two turn up at the same time, evil little sods! One flibbertigibbet told me it was my own fault it won't heal because I smoke, then started poking a whole packet of cotton wool in the crater. The tears in my eyes were not from laughing I can tell you and she was not impressed when I told her what she could do with the rough end of a pineapple. (no, you don't need to know) How is it ever going to heal being ripped open everyday.
But looking on the bright side they got no pleasure from ripping the plaster off as I have a square bald patch on my back now from the constant changing of dressings. So they won't be selling raffle tickets for that job for a while. Take a paracetemal before you come tomorrow they giggled it won't hurt so much then, what a couple of little liars.
I might get the Yeti to bung the hoover on it later that should drain it out quicker.
Ace, have they given you any antibiotics? it sounds as though you need them.
It sounds very sore keep an eye on it for goodness sake.
Take Mrs Ace with you to hold your hand next time, she could give them some very black looks if they do not treat you right ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D.
Quote from: rosebud on July 13, 2012, 12:47:46
Ace, have they given you any antibiotics?
I think they are a bit tight on the medicines down here, but I do believe they stuck a KEEP OUT sign on my back. But they do have a lump of leather to bite on instead of anesthetics. I am in a mind to take some viagra next time at least it will give me something to grip on tightly to when the pain gets too intense.
Oral antibiotics dont really work that well on cysts because they cant penetrate the cyst itself.
I had one on the back of my neck a few years ago now. It grew rapidly to about walnut size, at which point I cut into it and extracted the vile stinking contents. I too wish I'd made a film!
It was a bit painful at the time but the rate it grew really scared me and the smell!! THE SMELL !!
Hahahahaha @ Ace, i needed that good laugh today. ;D ;D
Oh dear, the Yeti has gone a bit green, I asked her to change the dressing as I wanted a shower and it had started to come adrift. The dressing was stuck to a load of wadding which also started to come out. She was screaming that she couldn't do it, so I had to reach around and rip it off myself.
Well after a lot of her charging around in a panic and calling me all the names under the sun, I got her to take a photo. Blimey they must have taken it out with an apple corer, there's a hole I could poke my finger in up to the first joint. I've got her to ram load of wadding back in and I am sure she was practising her musket loading skills. Feeling a bit faint myself, I had to have snifter, (purely medicinal ), then a few more until my eyes had stopped watering. Feels a lot better now though, but I had better call the proper nurse around here tomorrow, just to check it is still alright.
Kinell! After weeks of daily plaster ripping and wadding being stuffed into my back, Ugg, the shot putter decided to call a doctor in. The hole is now so deep you would have thought I had grown another @rsehole halfway up my back. He is making me an appoinment to go to the hospital and have it operated on to see if there is something nasty at the bottom of it all. 'Was it ever a gunshot wound' he asked, No. 'are you quite sure' well I think I would have remembered if it was. Tw@t!
I am not very happy as you might have guessed.
Quote from: ACE on July 25, 2012, 10:59:25
The hole is now so deep you would have thought I had grown another @rsehole halfway up my back.
I know it must be painful, I know you are suffering but you have made me laugh so much that I'm going to have to sit in the micra and calm down a bit.
Let's hope that laughter IS the best medicine! I just spurted coffee all over the keyboard AGAIN. When will I learn not to read Ace's posts during break???? ;D
Do hope you get better soon but you'll have to find something else to moan about or the laffs will dry up!