my young grandaughter is 19 weeks pregnant with twins and i ve just read on facebook how some of her so called friends who has baby's are telling her how painful giving birth is we all know its painful but theres no need for them to make fun and say they ll hear her screaming 20 miles away as giving birth is that painful even her mother in law is agreeing now the granddaughters petrified of giving birth and shes only 17 theres no need for that sort of micky taking
Stupid people >:(
Give it a few months and I have no doupt she will be spouting the same stories to the next . Cheers, Tony.
I am sure that she isn't expecting the birth to be a picnic. She has probably seen a woman giving birth so she will know what to expect. She is probably feeling a bit sensitive at the moment.
When I went for my first anti natal class I left my sister crying & couldn't understand why ::). It is a painful experience but one that is soon forgotten. All my labours were back ache ones, it has a new name now & my GP told me that that was the only time he felt sorry for a woman.
The pain I suffered with gall stones & gyni problems are still fresh decades on but childbirth is forgotten except for the joy of course.
I think the brain is trained to block it out otherwise we would probably have just one child.
You would not get men making that fuss
I'll get my coat.
It can not be as bad as Man Flu can it, Only joking thought my O/H was going ::) to break my hand :P
Just your hand ;D ;D ;D
What a shame, I do feel sorry for the poor girl.
Giving birth is certainly no picnic and nobody could have been more terrified than I was when I had my daughter 40+ years ago. But it wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be. I had her at home, with no pain relief whatsoever and no screaming from me.
I had my son at home too, 19 months later, again with no pain relief and was downstairs the same afternoon getting in coal for the fire.
Blimey, looking back it seems like the Middle Ages!
My sister frightened me to death with stories when I was pregnant..... but Im glad she did as giving birth well it wasnt half as bad as I thought it was going to be.
If the woman was to have the first
The man to have the seconed
Ther would not be a third
Poor girl,I can remember being scared with my first........nearly forty years ago.
With all that breathing ,panting and pushing not much time to fit in screaming LOL :)
Encourage her to join an expectant Mums group where she can share her concerns and concentrate on all the positives.
I always told my Daughter to view it as a lot of hard work with fantastic results.
Quote from: grannyjanny on January 19, 2012, 17:27:21
When I went for my first anti natal class I left my sister crying & couldn't understand why ::). It is a painful experience but...............The pain I suffered with gall stones.......still fresh decades on.........
My wife would agree with that!! And it went on for much, much longer. :(
Personally I found the antenatal wide-screen colour film showing a natural birth far worse than
eating my wife's toast and drinking tea the real thing. Although my hand did hurt for ages afterwards where Mrs Roller had stuck her nails in. :'( ;D ;D
Seriously it's a shame some people don't have a little more compassion and understanding. :(
Imho, the very best thing your grand daughter can do is is read the info from the hospital and ideally get to an antenatal class - maybe one for expectant mothers her own age?
It's easily said, and of course there is pain at the end of the day, but knowledge is power: if she understands what is happening to her then that will take away a lot of the fear. It took me a long time to realise that my mother - who really frightened me with her account of what childbirth what like - had had such a bad time because she'd had no information at all about what it would be like or the different stages of childbirth. Plus, it being the 1960s, she was on her own.
Well, that's my opinion :)
Don't recommend "One born every minute" on 4od for light entertainment... :-X
I'm the mother of twins (now 23) and I remember being terrified. It's important that your granddaughter has good, solid information from the hospital about her particular case. Every twin delivery is different and the condition of either twin can influence how things are for all three of them. No doubt she'll be monitored more closely as the weeks go by.
Being pregnant with twins was the hardest thing I'd ever done and when I later had a single pregnancy, it was a very different experience. With twins, it's a matter of having the hormones of two pregnancies to deal with at a time - hormones that exist to grow and nurture two babies. These hormones are not about self-defence, so I think it's horrendous for your granddaughter to have to deal with insensitive input from mothers who have not been through the same sort of pregnancy. She may need to draw on all her strength to put people who comment in this way, in their place. Perhaps she can take confidence from the fact she's doing a very important thing for two tiny people just now, and doing that must come first.
I'm sure everyone who reads this thread wishes her and her babes a healthy, safe and happy delivery.
Spudbash :)
To be honest, with most deliveries of twins, especially in such a young girl, surely it will be a C section? In which case she won't have much difficulty.
I had my youngest without any pain killers what so ever, it hurt like the Be-Jesus, and I nearly broke my husband and the nurse's arms! But I was bloody pleased with myself afterwards! And my daughter was worth it.
I think it's a sort of rite of passage for women to scare other women about childbirth. Otherwise they will think it's a piece of cake!
I hope she has lots of support, I couldn't imagine having a baby at such a young age, let alone twins.
Quote from: grannyjanny on January 19, 2012, 17:27:21
When I went for my first anti natal class I left my sister crying & couldn't understand why ::). It is a painful experience but one that is soon forgotten. All my labours were back ache ones, it has a new name now & my GP told me that that was the only time he felt sorry for a woman.
The pain I suffered with gall stones & gyni problems are still fresh decades on but childbirth is forgotten except for the joy of course.
I think the brain is trained to block it out otherwise we would probably have just one child.
I so agree with everything you said. One back-ache labour of 25 hours, one straightforward fast one with just a tense machine for pain relief - neither were as bad as gallstones. Also a trip on a small fishing boat being seasick for 4 hours and physically so weak afterwards that I could hardly carry myself or my luggage. Those are remembered as much worse than labour! Labour is for a very good purpose and, if need be, powerful pain relief is available. This should reassure a first time mother-to-be. There is no reason to frighten anybody.
With labour there are several stages. Good ante-natal classes and good knowledge of what is happening at different stages and how to cope with it, are very powerful aids in helping with the pain of labour. Do they still do birthplans? I had a written out one ready, in case it was too difficult to explain in person. Yes it is a journey into the unknown for a first timer and that is frightening, but there are sensible steps that she can take to get as much knowledge as she can.
Hope the final weeks of pregnancy and delivery go very well for her and the babies.
Nicely said spudbash and others..... not that this mere male knows much about it but "knowledge" is a very powerful tool. Understanding the steps and knowing must make a huge difference.
Here's wishing the new mum to be the very best for the future - double joy!! Fantastic. :)
I was grtting my teeth preparing for a sexist rant after that title.
I dont think its senseless to joke about something so painful. Its a way of raising and dealing with the subject. Maybe you are just feeling a bit overprotective.
Lovely to have new babies in your future.
x Sunloving
I too had gallstones . They developed while I was carrying my first baby. The doctor said it was colic. It was a form of colic but not as we know it. I thought it was all part of having a baby and that when it was born the pain would stop. Was I in for a surprise. Back it came with a vengeance. I was taken into hospital 2 weeks after giving birth to have my gall bladder out. In those days the op was quite a serious one and I have the scar to prove it.
I am glad that some others when comparing it to labour said that the pain is far worse cos that what I thought
Your grandaughter will be fine. The hospitals will take care of her and her babies.
May I suggest your daughter contacts TAMBA if she has not already been directed to their website... http://www.tamba.org.uk/
.... there she will get great support and up to date information about twin pregnancy and birth.
As a midwife and a mum I always hesitate to get involved in threads of this type as any advice I can give is really very generalised and not tailored to your daughters individual circumstances which is what she really needs. However I can always be pm'd if there is anything specific I can help her with if she would like that. She still has the majority of her pregnancy to go yet, and a lot of the options around birth decisions often cannot be made until later in pregnancy when the type of twins she has is better known and their presentations.
However, I must add that my very first birth as a qualified midwife way back in 1987 was a beautiful spontaneous twin birth which I have never forgotten.....they are a bit different from singletons but every birth is different and it is important to reassure her that what has happened to her friends and their pattern of birth is likely to be very different from her own.
thank you everyone for your replies perhaps i was being over protective i had my first at 17 3 by time i was 23the midwife has told her she wont be allowed to carry over 36 weeks she will be started off and also she might have to have a c section the babies one of each is lying top to tail and the little boy is way down my greatest worry is that her mum lost a little girl at 23 weeks because of a weak cervix but has gone on to carry two baby's full time ( ali is being monitored for this )my other daughters twin boys was delivered by c section at 31 weeks and now they are two bouncing 4 yr olds easy labours seem to run in this family my self and both daughters and my eldest granddaughter has had fairly easy births so fingers crossed Alison's will be the same