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General => The Shed => Topic started by: grotbag on December 17, 2011, 21:43:47

Title: Funerals ?
Post by: grotbag on December 17, 2011, 21:43:47
Hi all, I am in the process of arranging my mums funeral. As the funeral home is providing the pallbearers,should I give them a tip afterwards ?
Title: Re: Funerals ?
Post by: ceres on December 17, 2011, 22:05:00
I don't know the answer Grotbag but just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss.  {{{{hugs}}}}
Title: Re: Funerals ?
Post by: pumkinlover on December 17, 2011, 22:08:40
My sentiments exactly x Anne
Title: Re: Funerals ?
Post by: Carol on December 17, 2011, 22:55:43
Sorry to hear of the loss of your Mother.   The Funeral Home will probably include the expenses for the pall bearers in their Account to you.   Pall bearers in Scotland are usually close members of the family.

Title: Re: Funerals ?
Post by: Squash64 on December 17, 2011, 23:05:24
I'm sorry to hear about your Mum.

I've never heard of pallbearers being given a tip, I suppose it would be up to the individual though.
Title: Re: Funerals ?
Post by: grawrc on December 17, 2011, 23:09:39
So sorry to hear that your Mum has passed away grots. I'm pretty sure that the services of the pallbearers is part of the service provided by the undertakers.

Obviously there is no reason you can't tip them should you wish, but it is not necessary.
Title: Re: Funerals ?
Post by: Ninnyscrops. on December 17, 2011, 23:22:15
Grots.........so sad to hear your news, but I was back with you in October. My brothers, nephew, and niece's hubby took on the role of pallbearers, with lots of guidance from the professional gentlemen. I think I saw a change of handshakes for their help from my brothers.

Ninnyscrops x
Title: Re: Funerals ?
Post by: grawrc on December 18, 2011, 00:54:37
Just had a thought. Pallbearers don't need to be men but usually are.

If your Mum is being buried you can let any close family members hold one of the cords as the coffin is lowered into the grave. That is certainly normal practice here, however to bring the coffin into the church or crematorium it might be better to let the undertakers organise it, unless family members wish strongly to do it.
Title: Re: Funerals ?
Post by: shirlton on December 18, 2011, 08:25:00
So sorry  to hear that you have lost your mom. If you want to tip then do so. I think its a personal decision.
Title: Re: Funerals ?
Post by: ACE on December 18, 2011, 09:04:36
If you had a breakdown on the final bill you will notice gratuities, usually for the cemetery workers for the extras they do, clearing paths, dressing the grave etc, but the bearers are usually part time active pensioners making a few bob on the side and are on wages direct from the funeral home. 

It would be a nice gesture from you, but not really necessary.
Title: Re: Funerals ?
Post by: manicscousers on December 18, 2011, 09:42:56
So sorry to hear about your mum  :-\
When ray's dad died last year, all his male grandsons carried the coffin. We gave an envelope to the chief organiser with a few quid in it for the lads .
Tae it easy, grotbags, whatever you decide is right x
Title: Re: Funerals ?
Post by: betula on December 18, 2011, 09:54:42
Sorry to hear the sad news.

Title: Re: Funerals ?
Post by: galina on December 18, 2011, 12:47:21
Don't worry about it, either is ok.  You have so many other things to deal with.  This is one thing you can do much later, long after the funeral, when you have more time and only if you want to.

I'm sorry about your loss, please take great care.
Title: Re: Funerals ?
Post by: Spudbash on December 18, 2011, 13:56:52
Sorry to read about your loss. I've found from my own experience of bereavement that showing my gratitude to others who have helped, helps me: It's comforting to know that others there when you need them.

I hope the funeral goes smoothly as best befits the mum you knew.

Spudbash  :)