... sounds like one of those tv shows!
This morning my husband has had to go off on a 10 day work trip to Cyprus. It really gets me down. I (we) never get used to it and always become upset on the lead up and especially the night before!
He then has to fly off to the States in November, thankfully that's only for a few days and then in spring, back to Cyprus again.
I know people will think I'm silly because it's only 10 days and it will soon pass etc etc but I still don't like it and I'm feeling fed up today!! I'll be back at work tomorrow so at least I'll be occupied until I get home in the evening, lol.
Still .... I do have free reign with the bank account in that time ... ;D
Have had a lot of experience of this in the past and it always used to break my heart but there are certain advantages
Being able to read in bed for as long as you like
Also have the radio on while doing above
Doing exactly what you want to do........LOL
Keep occupied and the time will fly with lots of fresh stuff to talk about when he gets back.
Lovely to be in love LOL ;D
And you can spread all your seed packets on the floor and on the settee just to look at them (as seedaholics must!) ;D
No seriously, I sympathise with you, as my hubby is off to foreign parts a lot. The worst was when he was off for 6 weeks, 2 days at home then off for another 6 weeks. At the end of that our daughter, then aged 3, would not talk to him anymore for several days!
Well we look forward to chatting more with you if you are bored. Also I hope that your household whitegoods don't pack up, the house alarm does not go into a permanent 'ON' mode, the car doesn't bust a clutch cable and all the other things that tend to go wrong here, as soon as I come back from taking him to the airport. Or that free reign in financial matters will come in very handy ;D ;D ;D
SamLouise I won't let my OH know what you've said.... she'll be jealous!! ;D
I took early retirement about 2 years ago as my parents are very elderly so I act as full-time carer. My OH has been brilliantly supportive in all sorts of ways but....
I think there are times when we would both enjoy a bit more personal space even if we are rarely in at the same time.
Just think.. a choice of any tv or radio programme, come and go as you please without needing to leave notes: "Gone to *** Back at ***" eat what you like when you like and not at all if you don't want to. The house and garden are all yours for a few days. Chill out!! ;)
....I do hope you sent him away with long shopping list.. ;)
I'm the one who is going to do the 'skipping' away in few weeks time..and I'm not sure which one us is looking forward to it more.. ::)
But its true in our case..bit of distance makes heart go fonder..or something like that..
We get separated for once of twice a year...and the break does good for both of us.
Try to enjoy 'your' time and do things what you would not otherwise have chance..even is it is leaving knickers lying about and dirty pots in a sink... ;) ;D
My ex used to work abroad regularly, I agree its never easy saying goodbye no matter for how long.
But yes lots of positives as mentioned and all important control of the remote, then there is hogging the bed, eating a favorite food they hate, not having to cook if you don't want to, yes love the shopping 'unsupervised' ah think of those hours you will need to keep yourself occupied by......buying seeds! Yayyyyy then spread them out with the rest as Galina suggests ;D
Even better just think how lovely it will be to hubby back :)
My hubby went to Sicily two weeks ago and won't be back till "sometime in October" (he wasn't sure when) I could go with him if I wanted to but I've got better ways to spend my time. ;)
I do miss him of course, but as others have said, there are advantages too - the main one being that I don't have to stick to regular times for meals.
The big disadvantage is that he isn't here to eat the courgettes, beans and tomatoes which are producing like mad at the moment.
ive got hubby going away to Norway in September. So I get stuck with the twins full time.
I hate it, specially as when I was pregnant the plan was for me to go back to part time work, so not only do I now not work I have to put up with him going away too. He just doesnt get why I get a bit miffed.
Be happy you're lucky enough to have someone who will be coming back and indulge yourself while they're away :)
For goodness sake,Samantha chill out he will be back before you know it.
You 2 are so loved up its a wonder he agrees to go away, pair of heart eyes both of you. ::) Ring mummy up we can chat for an hour or 2 :o.
You could strip the kitchen nice surprise for when he gets back, so you can have your new kitchen fitted OR just sit with a book & box of choccies & chill out ;D ;D ;D.
My ex used to go away alot as he as in the forces. he often found i'd done jobs that he'd been putting offf. You never know I may just tackle the removing and retiling of the kitchen
At least once every 2 years I work away for up to 7 months at a time with a 10 day break in between. I also work away a lot in between and have been doing so for 23 years, although only the past 13 have been with my other half. I will do it once more then probably change career in 2 1/2 years time. The last time was the hardest but the next time for 7 months away will be the last.
You daft mare, get out and paint the town red, my OH and the kids are up Hartlepool for a week on Tuesday, so you could get the credit card out and take me for a posh meal Sammy. ;) ;D :D :P
Wish mine would go away and he would stop moaning about no dinner, cause you are always at that b dy allotment or talking to the cats, or doing jigsaw puzzles because you are retired. Love him really, but after 30 years a few days off (or weeks) would be good, then a good welcome home.
Tell him to cook the dinner Borlotti, as I type I'm cooking Pork loin steaks on the BBQ, you supply the food and he can cook it, if you behave yourself I might let you come out with me and Sammy. ;) ;D :D
I have always worked away up to the last four years, both in the Mil and Civi Street, I have put up with it because it was my job and the and the bills needed paying, my misses loved it because it was a separation to get your thoughts together and come back loving each other more, I loved coming home and a good repatriation in bed with the Misses, :)
my other halfs gone away ;) oh i forgot yesterday he became an ex other half ;D
Hee hee @ some of the replies. Thanks, they've helped cheer me up! I like some of the suggestions; so much so that I might email my OH and ask him to stay there another week ;D ;D
For those who work away a lot (or those who have a partner who works away) or for long periods of time - does/did it ever get any easier? Not that I anticipate any longer or more frequent trips for my OH but I'm just interested :)
Just off to phone Rosebud now. Hope she's got a flask of tea and kit kat at the ready..... ;D
Quote from: brown thumb on August 25, 2011, 17:53:19
my other half's gone away ;) oh i forgot yesterday he became an ex other half ;D
Is that congratulations or commiserations? ;)
Sam, if it were me, I would have a couple od days to do what I fancied then spend the next few days planning a very special "coming home treat"
You could buy something pretty to wear,gussy up the bedroom,plan a very different first night home menu, pick up a special bottle of wine.etc etc etc
And then sit back and look forward to ti..
Hope your toes curl!!
XX Jeannine
Quotegussy up the bedroom
Really Jeannine- what does that mean ;D ;D ;D
It means make it look pretty, flowers, candles etc, oh you are a naughty one I can see that.
XX Jeannine
congratulations to me, more time for the Lotty or for on here ;D i had the best end of the deal :)
I really enjoy myself when my other half goes away. I love the *me* time. I please myself, treat myself, cook what I want...or don't cook. I love a bit of time to myself ;D
Duke
Yes, SamLouise, it does get much easier with experience. :)
BTW, for anyone really struggling with that 'Does it get easier?' question, there are tons of ideas at www.actionforhappiness.org. It's my second favourite website! ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: SamLouise on August 25, 2011, 18:19:31
For those who work away a lot (or those who have a partner who works away) or for long periods of time - does/did it ever get any easier? Not that I anticipate any longer or more frequent trips for my OH but I'm just interested :)
I hate working away, and hopefully I've nearly stopped doing it now. to be honest I'd rather be at home alone than away alone, in a dull hotel, with work, work, work.
Does it get easier? sort of, but it does make the home-coming a treat ;) :D ;D
I think its harder on those left at home particularly when there are young kids in the equation.
Im really not looking forward to OH going away next month, partly because I hate it but mostly because its the first time he's been away from the boys and I know no matter how much we talk to them about it and prepare them there will be floods of tears and unsettled bedtimes that I have to deal with, and possibly uunsettled preschool too.
As I say to him its OK for him, he's only got himself to deal with, he doesnt have to deal with the aftermath he leaves behind.
I agree, brownowl, when my twin boys were little, it was tough to be alone with them (and their little sister, who came along three years later) for a few days. I think I'd have managed better at the time, if I'd had more fun things for myself to do.
If you were to ask for my advice, I'd suggest you still have time to plan for next month, so here's an idea. Make two lists: one for the boys, of 'things to do when Daddy goes away' ideas (Only share this with them when he goes, so they don't build up anxiety before he leaves), and one purely for you - some things to look forward to when the little ones are settled in bed and others to do when they're happily occupied for a few minutes. Aim to have lots of ideas so that you can pick and choose according to what's needed at the time. You can then enjoy anticipating the pleasures to come. ;D
For the boys, maybe make a scrap book to show Daddy when he gets home? Or have some other project to focus on each day? Take some photos and print them out so the boys can tell Daddy the things he's missed?
Just an idea...You'll find your own way according to the needs of the day. :)
You need a positive mind set and to have fun on your own or with friends, family and pets and doing things in your own time.
My OH was sent to Texas for 4 months in 1988. We got a good holiday out of that - Texas, New Mexico, Grand Canyon Las Vegas (Yuk) and San Francisco but learned not to want to live in the USA.
He worked here for 6 months in 1990 before I moved over too in 1991 and since then has been posted to the UK coming home every other weekend while I was pregnant and then the Netherlands for 2 years, coming home most weekends, when Possum was only 3 months old. Bit of a shock when he came back as I would forget I had to do a dinner!
Now he just gets the odd night away in Amsterdam for meetings plus at least one 4 day weekend away golfing but I get to go to England with my scientists for English immersion and also to RHS Chelsea.
I must say, I do admire those of you who just dig deep and get on with it. Makes me feel like such a wimp, LOL!
It's been ok actually. I guess for us it's the lead up to him being away that makes us feel so sad. We chat a couple of times on the phone each day, too.
Frantic phone call from him last night as he'd lost his wallet and passport! :o By sheer process of elimation we came to the conclusion they must have been left on site and knew they'd be secure but because of the nature of his work, he's not allowed on site without his passport, lol. Anyway, a colleague went in this morning and found it so all's well. Restless night over there and over here!
Brownowl sorry to hear of your impending gloom :( It is tough when they go. My husband's first proper trip away was three weeks to the USA when our son was 7 and after my husband had pulled away in his car, our son sat on the kerb with his head in his hands and sobbed - which of course set me off too! Do you have many friends and family around as a support system (I was very lucky when our son was younger as my parents, brother and sister were only ten minutes away) Do your twins have little playmates for special afternoons/mornings to give them something to look forward to?
I like Spudbash's post/ideas - thought that was smashing :)
Obbelix, am I reading your post correctly, your husband is away for up to six months or two years at a time but coming home each weekend? Now that I know I wouldn't like but again, admiration that it works for you!
No. That was some years ago but lasted several years. He's home now, and I do remember he needs feeding.