Allotments 4 All

General => The Shed => Topic started by: ACE on October 18, 2010, 09:15:20

Title: All cleaned up
Post by: ACE on October 18, 2010, 09:15:20
Although it is a bit early in the month for my bath, she got me in there this morning and I've had a good scrub up, she even found me a clean pair of undercrackers . Reason for smelling of brut this early in the day. I have just had a call from the NHS telling me to nip up for a pre-assesment just in case of the likelhood of a cancellation to have my kneecap replaced. Well I'm as fit as a fiddle so there shouldn't be a problem. So it looks as if it could be all systems  go. I asked what they did with the old one as I thought I could bring it home for the dog, but the thieving buggers keep them. I bet their dogs don't go hungry.
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: caroline7758 on October 18, 2010, 09:16:37
Good luck, Ace!
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: betula on October 18, 2010, 09:22:22
Bad of them to keep it..it is yours after all   ;D ;D ;D


Good luck.
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: Grandma on October 18, 2010, 09:31:08
As you were so obviously left behind in our evolution from the hairy primates, I'm surprised you've had to wait at all.

Everyone knows ape knees are two a penny.

(But best of luck anyway) xxx
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: ACE on October 18, 2010, 12:37:02
Nov.4th, so I should be back into circulation for the Xmas festivities.6 weeks without driving. They took the p!ss, took some blood after about 4 goes, stuck sticky pads on my hairy chest and took great delight in pulling them off, poked something in my lughole. But I came out A1+. loads of questions and then they got cheeky when I admitted I had a cigar to relax now and again (2 a month). Why don't you give them up, why? I asked, bad for your health was the reply, well so was working I said, but nobody insisted I should give that up.  I would not be having the knee replaced if was not for the digging work I used to do.
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: 1066 on October 18, 2010, 13:44:14
might be time to think about one of these  :P  ;)  :P

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/news/8061119/Man-builds-worlds-fastest-mobility-scooter.html

best of luck
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: asj on October 18, 2010, 13:47:24
I have come to the conclusion, Ace, that you must be a first-class wimp ;D.  I had my kneecaps removed some 30 years ago, and have not noticed the loss - why do you need a replacement  ????  Must agree with 1066  ;D 
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: betula on October 18, 2010, 13:51:06
LOL  ;D

I must say that after seeing ACE work on the NEC show garden last year he is a real Grafter......so not at all surprised he needs new knees  ;D
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: ACE on October 18, 2010, 15:44:36
Quote from: asj on October 18, 2010, 13:47:24
I have come to the conclusion, Ace, that you must be a first-class wimp ;D.

Blimey! I've been sussed, yep that me

Quote from: betula on October 18, 2010, 13:51:06
he is a real Grafter..

It must have been the tablets I was on ;) My big failing is never give up

Quote from: asj on October 18, 2010, 13:47:24
why do you need a replacement  ????  

Cos some silly bugger wore the first one out ;D

Quote from: Grandma on October 18, 2010, 09:31:08
As you were so obviously left behind in our evolution from the hairy primates.

Contrary to public belief, I was reared in captivity you know






There are other on these boards that have suffered this complain, so they do not need reminding about the depressing pain you are constantly in, I just need to shout about it a bit more for the sympathy vote, (all say Aaaaah). 10 years I've been waiting (Aaaaah) been flung on the scrapheap (Aaaah) they even tried to classify me as disabled, (Aaaah) given me early retirement (Aaaah) even gave me my generous council pension (Aaaah) But I have born it with a gracious disposition (Aaaah) and yes you have it right, Mrs. ACE is going to hide my bell when I come out of hospital. (even bigger Aaaah)

So think of me as you mend you broken greenhouse windows after firework night, some of us were put on this world to suffer ;)  Whoops nearly forgot, all together now Aaaaah.

ACE bury me at wounded knee GARDENER
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: rosebud on October 18, 2010, 18:35:29
 Ace, i wish you all the best for your knee replacement. I only wish  i could have my VERY painfull knees done but cannot due to health reasons, so i know how you must be suffering.  Good luck with it all, you are having it done on my birthday so i shall think of you on my big O day.
Take care.  Rosebud ;D ;D
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: cornykev on October 18, 2010, 18:41:28
Ace off the road for 6 weeks,absolute bliss for the islanders to be able to drive on the roads, sorry dirt tracks without the gas guzzler tailgating them up their arse, honking his horn, flashing his lights and running them off the track, they'll probably have the bunting up, even might stretch to a street party.
All the best you ol git and no touching up the nurses you know what the Judge said last time.   :P       ;)        ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: shirlton on October 18, 2010, 18:48:00
 no touching up the nurses you know what the Judge said last time.


As if ;D
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: Tin Shed on October 18, 2010, 18:51:54
Quotestuck sticky pads on my hairy chest and took great delight in pulling them off

Didn't you get your chest shaved then and end up with two little bare patches ;)

All the best, but be careful, Sister might not appreciate all your jokes ;D

Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: Froglegs on October 19, 2010, 11:46:06
6 Weeks off driving folk mad with "have ya seen me scar? i had to have a bell removed you know"  ;D good luck I'm sure all will go well and you will be back chandelier hanging in no time ma duck .
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: Paulines7 on October 19, 2010, 12:40:34
Good luck Ace. 

At the beginning of this thread you said it was your knee cap that was being replaced.  When you said a few weeks ago that you were having a knee replacement, I assumed it was the joint that was being replaced. 

The reason I am asking is that my consultant said it wasn't worth just having the cap replaced on its own as I would be back in after year or so to have a total replacement.  I therefore went ahead and had the whole lot done.

After two total knee replacements I feel fitter now than before the first one was done in 2001.  Yes, the recovery is painful but if you do all the exercises afterwards, you will have a new lease of life and wonder why you didn't have it done sooner.

I will be thinking of you on 4th. 
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: ACE on October 22, 2010, 10:50:50
It was originally a knee capping job, but now it is the full monty. Just had a phone call bringing the op on a week so it is the 28th of this month now, I had better get my jammies sorted as I don't fancy a week of wearing a gown that leaves my @rse on view.

something like these would do
(http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSOZZMIY97caCB0UkKokrW6NbGgaySbG1pJjsZZRI_G07RmxH4&t=1&usg=__H3hFFfILOynaruDVd_Anzsq3gDo=)

but I expect the ladies would prefer these

(http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSXGkJDVi6QaQTdaOQsNUef67B7X7aXym4VDGNPQ5HUCkxdTtk&t=1&usg=__NSP1sBywPTxiBf0ahtoJyc6qC-Y=)

Now come over all unnecessary now girls, just rate the jammies. ;)
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: Grandma on October 22, 2010, 14:12:46
Please go for the full cover-up - complete with the 'warning - 'hazardous load' signs.

Do they do one with a hood?
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: shirlton on October 22, 2010, 14:31:29
Now if you looked anything like him Ace ;D
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: ACE on October 22, 2010, 15:04:21
Quote from: shirlton on October 22, 2010, 14:31:29
Now if you looked anything like him Ace ;D

Well I do have the six pack ;D

(http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT9VK3ml_0kO33zvINoblmO0ZSEjFEoQw_djHcls_red-6j0wU&t=1&usg=__ZWPacEWKozLCJa5LdfoGUnT-jt4=)
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: shirlton on October 22, 2010, 17:29:05
 ;D
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: SamLouise on October 22, 2010, 19:31:45
Hope it all goes well.  At least you'll not be able to chase the nurses around benny hill style for the first few days! :P
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: busy_lizzie on October 23, 2010, 12:31:11
Good luck with your knee op Ace. Will make the world of difference to you once it is done. best wishes and a swift recover,    :-* busy_lizzie
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: ACE on October 23, 2010, 13:12:04
Thank you to some of you ;) for your kind words. Tonight will be the knees last weekend alive so we are going to have a bit of a do and celebrate its life. I will try and remember the exotic far away places it has traveled and the erotic places where it met other knees (Shhh) we won't go to deeply into that otherwise two knees very nearby will get rather annoyed.

There will be gutters it has crawled along, there will be highways that it cruised along in the breeze, there will be decks it knelt on to scrub, unfortunately altars and hassocks are a long way down the list. There will be 3 proposals to sort of remember, (that could be why it wore out ;D)

So raise a glass tonight and toast ACE's Knee Its been very faithful and stuck with me all my life, even when I've been up to my knees in the proverbial, although it always seem to go missing after a tincture or two it was always there the next morning to help me crawl home.

Remember this is no ordinary run of the mill knee, it has been places some of you have only dreamed about.
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: Deb P on October 23, 2010, 13:16:14
You might as well give them a good send off , they have been up to all sorts of badness over the years I'm sure, I hope their replacements will be up to the taxing task of keeping up with you! ;D
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: asj on October 23, 2010, 13:27:30
I shall definitely raise a glass to the knee tonight, ACE - in fact I might not even wait until tonight ;D.  Good luck with the rehab (of the knee, I mean ;)).
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: calendula on October 23, 2010, 16:51:35
bet he's only doing it for the morphine, imagine Ace gardening on that  ;D
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: Tin Shed on October 24, 2010, 12:11:14
Ace, we raised a glass to your knee last night......well, several glasses actually, which I thought was appropriate having seen them  ;)
Wishing you all the best for the 28th - and will be waiting with trepidation for your account of the proceedings.
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: Paulines7 on October 24, 2010, 12:30:00
Good luck for Thursday then Ace.  Do you have to go across the water to have it done or is there a suitable hospital in the Isle of Wight? 

I will drink to your knee tonight.   ;D
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: Manouche on October 24, 2010, 18:29:14
Good Luck Ace hope all goes well. Hurry back to A4A we love your posts. lynn & rick xxx
Title: Re: All cleaned up
Post by: SMP1704 on October 24, 2010, 18:52:15
To your knee, ACE - glass is raised right now.  Off for a refill so that your knee has a proper toasting ;D ;D

All the best