The Face on the Henhouse Floor or Brewster's Last Stand ...
By Maurice Fairfield
Acknowledgements to R.J. Service who wrote The Shooting of Dan Mc.Grew and other similar ballads.
A chook is an Australian chicken. A sook is a cry baby (a wimp).
In the world of chooks
There's no place for sooks
And a rooster must stand tall
It's the toughest bird that rules the roost
And the weak go to the wall
Now Brewster the Sussex rooster
Was solid and stringy and lean
His beak was as sharp as a razor
And his eye was beady and mean
And he ruled his tiny kingdom
With a reign both stern and just
With physical strength and cunning
And a near inexhaustible lust
If ever a rising rooster
Should dare to show his face
A flash of the beak and a slash of the spur
Soon put him in his place
Then he'd stretch his neck
And flap his wings
And a utter a fearful crow
To underline his triumph
And let the whole world know
But nothing lasts forever
And time goes slipping by
And some grow stronger and smarter
And bolder and fiercer of eye.
And an enterprising cockerel
He exercised and thrived
And he woke and stretched one morning
And he knew that his day had arrived
And shoving his way past Brewster
With an arrogant casual thrust
He jumped on a hen that he fancied
And trampled her flat in the dust
There's a rule that a wiser rooster
Will always keep firm in his sight
You can go for your life when you're mating
But keep a cool head when you fight
Now describing Brewster as angry
Would really be putting it mild
His blood was up and his eyes were red
He was crazy and reckless and wild
And he entered the fray unready
Like an inexperienced fool
And his fighting stance was unsteady
He'd forgotten the golden rule
His footwork was not as polished
As it used to be before
And before he knew what happened
He was flat on his face on the floor
In a moment his reign was over
His honour was in the dirt
And his rival was now in clover
And the new situation hurt
The hen's who had bowed to his bidding
All idly studied their nails
And murmured 'you've got to be kidding'
With casual flicks of their tails
His days were spent in moping
And a furtive search for scraps
And looking for ways of coping
With the pain of his collapse
And while he deteriorated
And grew all pale and thin
His rival strutted and prated
And went around rubbing it in
He ravished the hens with gusto
With a nasty, superior smile
And he'd call across to Brewster
'Hey Pops, how's this for style?'
And the pain of his situation
Was really hard to bear
And his diet of humiliation
Might have driven him to despair
But a spark of his ancient spirit
Had slumbered deep inside
And he racked his brain till he thought of a way
To restore his position and pride
So squaring his drooping shoulders
With a challenging sneer on his face
He strutted up to his rival
And challenged him to a race
He flicked a glance at Brewster
And confident of success
He thought for a couple of moments
And finally answered 'yes'.
'I'll race you as far as the windmill
And to show that I have a big heart
I'll give myself a handicap
I'll give you ten yards start.'
Well the rivals were off in a racing start
With Brewster maintaining his lead
With thumping hearts and straining thighs
At a swift and punishing speed
But soon the other began to gain
And he would have thundered past
When the sweat and the strain
And the blood were stilled by a shotgun's blast
And the farmer blew smoke from the barrel
With a smile unforgiving and hard
Saying, no homosexual rooster
Shall sully the grit of my yard.
And Brewster he straightened his shoulders
All covered in feathers and gore
And he went and resumed his dominion
In a soberer mood than before
He knows it's an indian summer
That the best of his glory is past
You can't go on winning for ever
But it's good at the top - while you last
There is no element of autobiography in the above ballad ...
This is is one of my brothets poems... he is in his 80's with a brilliant sense of humour. This is one of his funny poems..
XX Jeannine
Love it ;D
love it. ;D
Wonderful ;D ;D
Glad you enjoyed this, my brother is quite well known in Australia and has done some some really good stuff. He is on thisisull with memoirs of his life growing up in Hull as a child .It is an excellent read and would bring back many memories to the older folks on her. He has done a very sweet one about our Mum.
If you do wish to read more just tap his name into the pooter...Maurice Fairfield and it will all come up,
XX Jeannine
;D ;D ;D