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General => The Shed => Topic started by: Borlotti on November 29, 2009, 15:54:08

Title: Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope
Post by: Borlotti on November 29, 2009, 15:54:08
One for Kev (and he is not fat), when he returns.
Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round."
The other ones says "So are you, you fat slob!"
Sorry, probably offensive to fat people.
Title: Re: Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope
Post by: manicscousers on November 29, 2009, 16:38:29
think we've all got 'allotment withdrawal', or cabin fever  ;D
I don't take offense and i am quite a 'round person'  ;D
Title: Re: Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope
Post by: saddad on November 29, 2009, 16:42:04
Speaking as a "Blonde"... I still like
"Two blondes walk in to a bar...









You'd think one of them would have seen it...."
Title: Re: Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope
Post by: Borlotti on November 29, 2009, 18:31:07
I bought some HP sauce the other day.  It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.
Surely no-one can take offence at that.
Title: Re: Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope
Post by: lewic on November 29, 2009, 18:32:48
Man goes to a bar, asks for some helicopter crisps.

Barman says sorry sir we only do plane....................
Title: Re: Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope
Post by: Borlotti on November 29, 2009, 18:35:11
A man walked into the doctors,
The Doctor said "I haven't seen you in a long time"
The man replied, "I know I have been ill".
Title: Re: Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope
Post by: Unwashed on November 29, 2009, 18:48:02
Sign on the back of my shed: "My other shed's a porch".
Title: Re: Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope
Post by: Borlotti on November 29, 2009, 19:00:15
Phone answering machine message.
" .. If you want to buy marijuana.... press the has key.. "
Title: Re: Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope
Post by: pennsylvannia planters on November 29, 2009, 19:07:25
Why is tigger always dirty?..............................












Because he plays with poo.
Title: Re: Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope
Post by: Borlotti on November 29, 2009, 19:08:31
hash key
Title: Re: Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope
Post by: cornykev on November 30, 2009, 18:21:25
Did I tell you I was stung in Tesco's last week.






£5  they charged me for a jar of organic honey.   :P      ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope
Post by: InfraDig on November 30, 2009, 18:44:25
I went to the doctor the other day. He said, "You're overweight". I said, "I'd like a second opinion." He said, "You're ugly too".
Title: Re: Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope
Post by: cornykev on November 30, 2009, 18:54:39
I went to the doctor the other day
Doctor I feel so down everyones ignoring me
NEXT
Title: Re: Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope
Post by: InfraDig on November 30, 2009, 18:56:45
I went to the doctor the other day. I said, "Doctor, I feel like a bar of soap". He said, "That's life, boy."

etc......!
Title: Re: Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope
Post by: InfraDig on November 30, 2009, 18:57:40
This feels like deja vu, all over again!
Title: Re: Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope
Post by: cornykev on November 30, 2009, 19:50:52
A bloke woke up in hospital
The doctor said I have some good news and some bad news
Whats the bad news Doc
I'm sorry but I've had to amputate your right foot
Jesus Christ whats the good news Doc
The bloke in the next bed wants to buy your slippers.
;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope
Post by: SamLouise on November 30, 2009, 22:24:02
"I can't find a cause for your illness," the doctor said. "Frankly, I think it's due to drinking."

"In that case," replied the patient, "I'll come back when you are sober."
Title: Re: Very silly non offensive jokes, I hope
Post by: Froglegs on November 30, 2009, 22:32:45
"Doctor i think I'm going mad I've wrapped me genitals in cling film"
"yes i can clearly see your nuts"
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