This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills if you're like me! Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!!
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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
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Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk.. sorry....
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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and.
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah...................thank you.
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
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Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
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And last but not least...
Tech support: 'Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P ' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
Are there really folk like that still? :o :o Explains why we're not allowed admin rights on our PCs at work. ;D ;D ;D
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
OI!! Mary you may well be laughing at me, wouldn't dare post the stupid things I have done on my computer ;D ;D
Loved then made me laugh and the dog fell off the sofa ;D ;D
yes there really are people still like this - one woman at work kept shutting down all her programs after she used them :o - unfortunately we work in a contact centre and she had to wait every time she got a call for the program to open up - she was well amazed when i told her she didnt have to shut them down all the time lol ::)
when my boss (sadly now deceased) got his first computer, IT support set it all up for him and then left him to it. After about 5 mins he was getting very agitated and shouted for me to come and help. when I walked in, the pc was in the middle of his desk, but he and his mouse were are the very edge of his desk - he needed me to help because he'd run out of desk, but hadn't got the edge of the screen yet ! He was absolutely astounded when I showed him what to do. You could have knocked him over with a feather. It was a very funny moment. We had lots of those over the next few months ;D
I know someone who cut the mouse cable off thinking they would then have a cordless mouse! Actually I suppose she did!
My old Maths teacher at school was trying to show us something on a computer and trying to give us all a bit more room to see the screen he stood up and stepped back carrying the mouse in his hand... Then couldn't work out why it didn't work when he waved it around in the the air..... ;)