Back at work today after migraine last week. Had a Dr's Appointment booked at 10am and she has sent me home with sky high BP and I'm not to return to work this week at least. I have to go back and have an ECG and blood tests at 12 today and more at 5pm. And all i can think about is the bloomin school fund and the cheques that need to be written and sorted out. So I'm trying to keep my feet up and relax and not think about the ironing, the messy kitchen and everything else so came here for some entertainment.
Oh dear, OO, sounds like ti's a good job you went to the doctor's. Hope they can get you sorted out soon. Relax- those cheques can wait!
Poor you OO! Try not to be concerned about the school; your health is far more important. Just you chill out, have a day on the sofa just relaxing, watch a nice dvd, have a doze and ignore the kitchen. No wonder your all askew after the time you have had recently. I am sure you will get sorted soon and life will be much better. (((big hugs))) busy_lizzie
The ironing can wait, you only crumple them up again,I gave up ironing 20 years ago and I don't have crinkles.
Forget the school fund too, it can tread water for a while.
Messy kitchen, if you clean that it will get messy again so give it a miss, it won't hurt.
So having solved your 3 problems, you can focus on getting your BP down which you can do a wee bit by forgetting the 3 above.!!
Do as you are told, get your tests and TURN OFF,you told me you had a problem saying no, well now is a good time to practise.
Now that is me done my heavy handed Grandma stuff, you take it easy sweetie, it will all still be there in a few days.
XX Jeannine
Olive Oil. As others have said.. your health is more important than work/housework or any other jobs you think need doing. Just forget them and get yourself better. I recently had to have blood test, ECG etc due to blood pressure and cholesterol. I decided to follow Doctor.s advice, no point in going if I don't follow that. Mind you I do miss my 1/4inch butter on everything and putting half the contents of my salt cellar on my dinner ;D
Best wishes, Lorna
Olive Oil i have done no housework for the last 3 months! Bar the odd blits on the front room and trying to stay on top of dishes and clothes. Even the husband is doing the cooking.
Today is the first day i have felt like cleaning, and its taken me 2 hours just to clean our bedroom.
You can only do what you can do there is no point worrying about what is outside your control and what is acheivable. Given all your going though you need to focus on your health who really cares that the house is messy and that a bill is not going to be paid today!!
Chin up and a big hug
Cambourne7
I'm back from the Dr's... BP down to 160/120 and ECG only showed some arrythmia (whatever that is). I have to call back on thursday for blood and ecg results and call in on Friday for another BP check.
You'd think I was 61 not 31!!!
Hope all goes well with the results, and remember...chill ;D
What's ironing? ???
GET YOUR FEET UP AND RELAX... JUST DO IT xx jEANNINE
Your body is telling you loud and clear! Stop, relax. Find something you really enjoy that will put the rest out of your mind. Have you tried Bach's Rescue Remedy?http://www.bachshop.co.uk/catalog/?gclid=CJbwmJbH94wCFSWZEAodtwGucA (http://www.bachshop.co.uk/catalog/?gclid=CJbwmJbH94wCFSWZEAodtwGucA)
my therapist said to use oak for my type of stress
I have always suffered from high BP, drives me bonkers. By the time I left hossy on Wednesday is was down to 158/85 which for me was miraculous! It is incredibly hard to chill when you know your blood pressure is up, because you think about it, which makes it go through the roof. I stopped caffine and salt and use cholestrol reducing spreads and yoghurts. Bloody boring, but every little helps.
Definately find something that will occupy your mind, but isn't strenuous, so you don't think about you and how you are feeling, but about whatever it is you are doing. Sleep is another winner. If you can doze and snooze, then make yourself comfy and snooze. Doctor Emma's orders! ;)
i was getting the vains in my neck popping when i was really under stress, it eventualy subsided and now i get spasms each side of my next when i start to get stressed again. I do symphatise.
Well i've just had another run in with my ex.. I say another - its the first spat really and he really overstepped the mark. I'll not go into details but my god i would hate for my bp to be read now!
Cmon everyone - 100 ways to destress!
I think if i get OH's stuff out the house tomorrow and tidy up then I can relax or at least try to!
Then I'm going to sort through all my cards and think of ways to sell the darn things!
Nice soak in the back - oh i have an aromatherapy gift massage - might go and book that!
Do you have to see him Emma?
Bath is good. So are the BAch's remedies. A good book. DVD. A walk on the wild side. Anything that involves digging or plants. Your preferred form of exercise. Sleep. Take herbal pills if necessary. A night out with a good friend. Laughter.
OliveOil,
Count to 50!
Gosh you have got yourself tied up.
Your going to blow something :-)
Its a good idea to pack his stuff up as you can control what goes, just dont pack it into his car and send it into the river as i have heard someone did recently.
It might we a good idea to get help, do you have a mutual friend who can come and take the stuff away for him rather than you meeting him?
I find cooking theraputic, i have just made some plain au chocolat, made some pizza dough with garlic and will be starting some banana nut muffins soon as i have lots of bananas to use up
http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/database/bananamuffins_71268.shtml
Cambourne7
You need to relax and make yourself not worry about every little thing. I know i have an ex whose hobby is winding me up. Yesterday my youngest son told him he didn't want to visit him over the summer. His Father went berserk, not about the fact that he would miss having his son for the summer holiday but that he had paid for the train tickets to come and collect him. He's now charging his 13 year old son for his ticket!
I have high blood pressure too and I feel a lot safer now I'm on medication though it's taken about 4 months to get used to it. I felt really awlful for the first 3 months. The first type I was given gave me the worst headache I've had in my life (considering I suffer from bad migraines this was really bad and I only took one tablet). I was changed to another type and now i don't even notice it.
I almost immediately started taking cod liver oil capsules and I think this has helped because I haven't had to go past a starter dose of the medication and they also help Rheumatiod arthritis which I also suffer from.
I'm wanting to respond but i dont know what to say... my friend from work wants me to call her later when the kids are in bed so i'm looking forward to that. I'm just watching the winds get up and worrying all my plants will be blown away in the plastic greenhouses. I hope they last the night.
I would very much prefer not to see ex - i've managed to only see him once since i asked him to go and it was ok but since then its only been ok because i havent been in contact or seen him. I guess i knew it would kick off at some point but i didnt think he would stoop as low as he did this afternoon. But I do have to deal with him tomorrow as I want everything of him out of this house never to be seen again. Then its over and done with and i can concentrate on relaxing again. I just have to remember to bite my tongue and not stoop to his level. My mantra tomorrow ' dont stoop low!' 'dont stoop low!' LOL
Can you have everything ready for him to take so that he doesn't actually have to cross the threshhold? What ages are your kids? Can you get your friend to come and give you a hand/ spend some quality time with you? Orr your Mum or someone you are "safe" and relaxed with?
yes good idea get the stuff pilled up and then close the door and leave him to pack it up.
Make sure that he does not add other things that are NOT his :-)
Grawrc's right - it would be wise to have someone else with you, good idea to pack everything and have it ready and waiting, so he doesn't have to come onto your territory. He is less likely to threaten you with someone else there, and you'll feel better for having the backup. Good luck xxx :)
Hi OO, oh dear, what a pickle.
Great advice already given to have his stuff ready packed, perhaps even outside the door so you don't have to see him face to face, and have someone else there to support you if you have to let him in the house.
You know your friends would want you to ask, and they'll be more than pleased to be able to do something to help - so don't be afraid to ask - OK!
Now, take it easy, make sure to look after yourself :-*
Hey Emma, good luck with the clearout tomorrow, ;D and I hope you've booked that massage. Book another whilst you're there, it's good for the soul. ;)
Morning Emma, hope you are feeling a bit more together today and you are ready to get the stuff handed over.
Don't forget after yesterday he is probably going to try to push your buttons,DON'T play his game and you be OK. If he is trying to hurt as you said yesterday he will look for your weak spots so be ready for it and try not to rise to the bait.
Our school is now closed all week so I am here if you need a chat.
Good luck, stay strong, don't play his game. He can only hurt you if you let him. XX Jeannine
Good morning Emma. I hope you had a good night's sleep and are feeling prepared for the day. We're all rooting for you out here in cyberspace so just ask if there's anything we can do to help. We're listening and ready with support if you want it.
Take a deep breath and face the day serenely. Oh btw slow deep breathing can help you calm down too. Think yoga and zen.
Hugs
Anne
Emma, I just wanted to add myself to the list of people thinking of you. Look after yourself, you have loads of support here, we are all thinking of you. Take care. x ;)
Ah well, he didnt turn up did he! Anyway apparently he is coming later. I'm trying to stay calm but its really hard. I was going to pack his stuff up but that was getting me stressed, so stopped doing that. I just want him to be gone so that i can chill.
Can you arrange to have someone else with you when he comes? It would make it easier for you I think.
No, everyone is at work and my mum would kill him - literally.
Pack his stuff up while you're waiting - it will give you something to do to use the energy. Otherwise you'll sit and steam and your blood pressure will go sky high. :(
you dont have to pack it neatly get some black sacks and start chucking stuff in :-)
that sounds quite theraputic!!
Hi Emma, thinking of you too. Ive 'been there, read the book, got the T shirt.
Very good advice from your friends here. Keep calm, deep breaths. If you act serene when he arrives your body will take over the feeling.
A mantra is an excellent idea. Start one now, one that takes you into the future. Believe me, life is really good on the other side of now. good luck and remember your the one that matters, not his silly belongings.
Oh and from some 50's musical ... Someone will know which ... South Pacific? you could sing as you chuck stuff in the bags:
"I'm gonna wash that mad right out of my hair
I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair
I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair
and send him on his way..."
http://www.hamienet.com/midi12191.html (http://www.hamienet.com/midi12191.html) is the music and
http://www.lyricsandsongs.com/song/509624.html (http://www.lyricsandsongs.com/song/509624.html) the lyrics.
You could change it to : I'm gonna cut that man right outta my life or something similar.
Now the benefits: singing is deep breathing, the tune is a happy one and singing is almost as good as laughter for inducing serenity and relaxing you. Hey you could even make it your mantra! ;) ;)
Here's a clip from the original film:
http://www.reelclassics.com/Audio_Video/Videos7s/mitzi_southpacific_washthatman.mov (http://www.reelclassics.com/Audio_Video/Videos7s/mitzi_southpacific_washthatman.mov)
ah you ladies crack me up... well nothing has happened today. I was hoping he would be gone and i could clean up and then relax but nooooo he has to drag this out making it as difficult for me as he can... so will just have to try to see it differently. Going to pick kids up in a minute then ??? ummm don't know... really don't know. cook tea probably lol.
Hey OO, just wanted you to know i'm thinking of you, sending positive (and calming!) vibes & hopiing things have gone as okay as can be expected.
Take care honey x
has he turned up today to collect his stuff?
Yes he turned up at 2.50pm.... I couldnt help lift the tv... i think with being unwell i have lost all my strength so he had to do it himself and it got scratched to buggery!
I had to nip out to get my son... i told him i wouldnt be long... got back and he was gone... All the stuff in the cellar still there and some odd bits lying around like the blooming tv and dvd remotes!
He is really trying to drag this out isnt he... we were both civil though hardly spoke to each other. I just cant believe he left things here!
I think I would collect all the remainder of his stuff into black bags and leave it outside for him to collect - and tell him that if he doesn't collect it that it will be left outside for the bin men. Put the onus on him - if he wants it then he will have to collect it within a few days - unless you have fortnightly collections!
Put all the rest of his bits and pieces in a box, tell him you are leaving it outside the door and if he doesn't collect it by bin emptying day it will be taken away as rubbish. And do it.
I have an Italian friend whose husband decided to leave her (after trreating her and her daughters really badly till his wife had no self esteem left). He found a flat and then took four years to move into it. Then, after the daughters moved out they had to sell the big flat, and where did his wife move to? Yes, of course, she moved in with him, and the cycle started all over again.
Life's cr*p sometimes. :(
What a sh*t. Hope you ok and not stressing. :-*
Quote from: asbean on June 27, 2007, 21:14:44
Put all the rest of his bits and pieces in a box, tell him you are leaving it outside the door and if he doesn't collect it by bin emptying day it will be taken away as rubbish. And do it.
And then chill........ Long soaky bath, aromatherapy, candles, your favourite music.. you get the picture? ;)
And a glass of wine. And a good book. :) :)
I'm ok... just thought today would be the end of it all and its not. he has a stereo, 2 sets of speakers, whole record collection, pictures, remote controls and other stuff still here.. I had to force him to take the spare mattress as i told him i couldnt get rid of it and he brought it here.
I just dont want him to see my new car on sunday - then he will think i have money and might take the fridge, w machine and dryer.
OH its bin day tomorrow but he wont know that, i'll tell him its recycling so he has until next thursday.
Oh i didnt tell you the good news either did i...
I have lost.....
2lb's in the last week... thats about the best thing - just another stone and a half to go!
Yeah, well done, but stress is not the way to lose it. I lost nearly a stone in the 10 days after my OH died. :(
Quote from: OliveOil on June 27, 2007, 21:45:23
I'm ok... just thought today would be the end of it all and its not. he has a stereo, 2 sets of speakers, whole record collection, pictures, remote controls and other stuff still here.. I had to force him to take the spare mattress as i told him i couldnt get rid of it and he brought it here.
Ebay? Freecycle?
Quote from: OliveOil on June 27, 2007, 21:45:23
I just dont want him to see my new car on sunday - then he will think i have money and might take the fridge, w machine and dryer.
Hey they're his kids too aren't they? What kind of plonker would take that kind of stuff from his kids? The TV's bad enough, although actually he might be doing them a favour taking the TV but not stuff they and you need on a day to day basis.
Anyway presumably you bought a lot of the stuff together and even if he paid for it you have certain rights.
Sorry grawrc's getting on her high horse. Watch out for sparks.
Ahh actually they aren't his kids.
And I much prefer the three of us.
We watched corrie on my daughter portable last night but mum is bringing me their spare tv at the weekend.
All the furniture was mine, even down to the towels and bedding. All he bought was a fridge-freezer, washing machine, dryer and the crappy car - after he had run my car into the ground!
So i'm not sure if he can technically take those things back - well he cant take the car because i have traded it and the garage has all the papers (which i had in my name to start with because i picked the car up and paid the insurance etc). I know if they were his kids he couldnt... I don't think he will take them to be honest but i dont want to push it and think him seeing my new car might make him think. Oh well i will just have to say that the other car died and my parents bought me the other one if it comes to it.
Hang in there sweetie, it will be sorted soon. What he hasn't taken I think it is fair to presume he doesn't want. I would however go through the house, pack anything you think is his, put in the garage, if he contacts you to get stuff allow him to collect that only. If he asks for anything else tell him tough,don't let him wander through choosing. Look after you XX Jeannine CHANGE YOUR LOCKS
Spot on Jeannine as always.
asbean i agree with you, get the keys back off him and change the locks anyway!!
If your just changing the tumberler its cheaper then the entire mecanism.
If you need a TV there is usaly on on freecycle.
Chin UP!!