Hi, I hope it's ok to post this here.
I got a PM from a member here asking if I could spare my passiflora edulis plants back in January. The person offered me his bamboo plants in return. As my plants were still small, I told him I would send a dozen of them and also that I have gingko seeds to spare. He said he needs a lot of gingko seeds so I sent 30+ seeds along with the passiflora plants. He sent me a PM saying he received them and that he couldn't send the bamboo just yet as the ground was too frozen to dig the plants up. That was in January.
Now the weather has been good and warm, so I decided to contact him via PM asking about bamboo. I got no answer so I sent an e-mail. Still no answer. I sent e-mail again after a while. Still no answer!
It seems he hasn't come back to A4A since January. I checked his website on his profile and it was blank. His e-mail address sound a bit made up as well.
What do I do? :(
I really wish there was some system of recommendation as to who was an honest swapper, and who wasn't, which is, ironically, what the person suggested in the Unfair Swaps?? thread. http://www.allotments4all.co.uk/joomla/smf/index.php?topic=26923.20.
I have read the previous post and I can relate to some of the concerns there.
The first one that glares out at me is that if no note is put in a swap it can be very difficult to know who to thank,many times there are lots of swaps going on and it is easy to lose track.
I have sent over 80 envelopes out , there is no way I could remember them all if I didn't keep a log.
I think for the most part folks are genuine, they do forget they were going to send something or they send the wrong thing. I have had an empty envelope and in another swap I got empty seeds but I would like to think it was a genuine mistake.
For my part, sharing seeds is perhaps more inportant than swapping seeds, I feel totally comfortable asking for seeds now as I feel I am known as a giver and what goes around comes around but I would share seeds with an unknown just as readily
I would encourage posters to contact their swapper if they don't receive something they expect.If lost in the post, you have no-one to thank and then the sender may feel snubbed. I do contact folks who have said they will send for that reason and beg people to contact me if I am sending something which does not arrive.
I now keep a carbon copy book by my side, it is so easy for info to get lost especially with only a small PM capacity.
I don't know how an official list of swappers could work. It would exclude newbies .I was a newbie not so long ago and I have shared tons of seeds now .
I have had 2 bad experiences, not worth a mention, but my common sense knows I was taken.I just wouldn't swap with that person again if asked.
I see most probs coming from communication, lack of notes in packets, and the fact that we are all very busy and probably rely on our memories far more than we should.
Swapping is great fun, I don't know what would constitute a dis- honest swapper and I would be loathe to add someone to a published list as so many ifs could be in there.
I think if a receiver puts a note on the site asking who sent?? the sender may at first feel offended that they had to ask, but with so many swaps going on my advice would be ,don't take it personally, it is better for someone to admit they have forgotten and try to thank the giver openly than to leave it unrecognised.
Perhaps someone else has some pearls of wisdom??
XX Jeannine
sounds to me like youve been had. think you may have to chalk it up to experience. its a real shame and i think everyone would agree that its not acceptable behavior. i have to say that all the swaps i have been involved in on a4a have been very successful. i thinkyou just got unlucky with that member and i wouldnt let it put you off swapping again.
That must be disappointing... I do hope they've just forgotten!
Do you still have their address? Maybe a polite note enquiring if the plants are ready yet would jog their memory? I'd be mortified if I'd forgotten and would want someone to tell me so I could put it right...
Or maybe someone else might have alternative contact details for them?
Best of luck - hope it gets sorted.
Tora, if it's a member called 'funplants' then he's done me aswell. I sent him some seeds back in Jan and I got the same message about the ground. I have since pm'd and emailed him..but nothing :-\
Gosh, thank goodness i checked my pms and diary at 3 this morning and emailed someone who i thought i may have missed with a swap!
I 've heard from him and yes, i had missed it.
Phew, (wipes brow) thank goodness it was before this was posted i would've felt soooooooooo guilty!!
Tora,
sorry to read about the shoddy way you were treated ,
have a look at the list of seeds I have in the swapshop ,
(Tesco vouchers thread ) and pick whatever you like. ;D
I will send you as many differant seeds as you would like ;)
P.S. you don't need to send me anything in return,
not even vouchers :)
Tora, sorry to hear about that, It does sound like you were swindled! I think It's a great idea about the swap feedback as an add on to the site. As a swapper I think it would be useful to pop a note in with the seeds, sometimes I get some seeds through the post and I don't know where theyve come from (even though I have a diary)
Thank you, everyone. :)
I feel much better now after writing about it and reading your replies.
Rutters, yes, it's funplants. I'm so sorry to hear he's had you as well. :( I think the chance of bamboo turning up is very slim now. ::)
People here are very kind and almost all the swaps I've had have been great. That's why I didn't doubt if he was a genuine person. It's the lying he did that made me really upset. I would have sent the plants to him anyway if he really wanted it and asked me. He didn't need to lure me with bamboo he never intended to send.
I understand what you mean Jeannine. I'd agree that publishing a list of dishonest swapper would be very tricky. Probably most swaps gone wrong are caused by misunderstanding and lack of communication. Perhaps we can still have a list of recommendation though, somewhere at the top of swap shop as a pinned post? And maybe a note reminding people to put a note stating their name in the envelope/packet with the seeds (like Biscombe suggested) and contact the swapper when it arrives/hasn't arrived, etc?
Scotch-mist, thanks so much for your kind offer. :-* I would have taken your offer if it was a few months ago but now I'm trying to stop myself from getting seeds, as I have more than enough for now thanks to generous A4A members. I really appreciate your kindness ;)
Thanks again
Tora xx :)
Here is a link to someone who is known as funplants. Interstingly, he particularly like bamboos. Seems to work in Cambridge.
https://auth.gardenweb.com/members/funplants
Here is link to his business:
http://www.anothermouse.com/
Here is his mobile number (as published by him on his website already):
If it's not him then perhaps someone should give him a call & let him know that someone is impersonating him!
Its lovely to swap with people but one bad experience can spoil it :(
I have sent out sooooo many seeds im running out LOL, but i love doing it :)
Hi Guys,
i have such a poor memory i am happy for people to remind me that i have forgotten to send them things.
But this person is not playing fair.
I have looked up the domain and this based in cambridge! so on behalf of everyone i cambridge I appologise.
Camborune7
Can I offer another suggestion here. I sometimes get names mixed up,eg Cambourne I know you first name as I do many but sometimes we get a PM from say ............( I'll make one up) from say Minniemouse, she then signs her PM MM or Minnie, then you get a seed swap from someone called Mary, or Doris and you think ,who the Dickens is that?
In my case, my site name is Jeannine, I sign myself Jeannine and I sign letters and parcels Jeannine, it is my name, if I didn't use it I would forget who I am .
I am not suggesting we all use our regular names but please put , eg from Doris or Mary, AKA Minniemouse.!!
Just a thought.
XX Jeannine
Good point Jeannine - I usually put (ellkebe/A4A) somewhere on the front of envelopes so peeps know what it is.
Good point Jeannine,
this doppy bugger always puts her real name :o
Oh shame, does sound as if you've been had! :( Don't let it put you off though, i bet you'll have loads more good swap experiences than bad. Not done any swapping yet, as haven't had many seeds to swap with. Starting to look in growing seed box and thinking about certainly sharing seeds, if not swapping.
Jeannine, all your advice noted! :D
I can only speak from my own personal experience - however I have recently 'swapped' with 'funplants' and after the PM about frozen ground I received a lovely piece of root that has now grown into a 45cm high bamboo. I am very pleased with my personal swap - as I have been with all swaps via this site.
Regards
Ann
Ann, could you tell me when you got the plant from him? I've sent many e-mails and PMs but he's never replied. Last time he wrote me was back in January when I asked him if my plants and seeds arrived ok.
Rutters had the same experience, not hearing from him since January.
I sent him many messages, as I thought he could be away on holiday or something. I waited for so long, as I didn't want to complain without good reasons and accuse him wrongly. :-\
I've now sent him an e-mail via his website. Will see what happens.
Last message I got from 'Peter' was to say he was going away for a while but would be back on 20th Feb at which time he would send the Bamboo.
Lets hope nothing's happened to him while he was away! Maybe his website will reveal more. (if he contacts you tell him he still owes me for the sunflower and chilli seeds)
Quote from: Biscombe on April 08, 2007, 10:27:51
As a swapper I think it would be useful to pop a note in with the seeds, sometimes I get some seeds through the post and I don't know where theyve come from (even though I have a diary)
Agreed Biscombe. There was a time I was getting seeds through the post at a rate of knots and had no idea who they were from. I now staple either the note or the envelope it came it (if it's got a return address) to prompt the old grey cells.
Such a shame that you've been let down like this Tora but sadly these things do happen. My OH got stung to the tune of £100 because someone he trusted done a runner ! :o Don't think he'll get caught out again !
Not everyone out there is as nice as most of us.
;D
Thanks for the warning - like Mrs KP says it is sad but you cannot trust everyone but at least we can try to keep records and check their history on the site.
I think we have to trust,when I first came on I wasn't sure about the swap bit, I didn't mind swapping but I was afraid I might be passed by as a newbie and I was nervous about that. I was so pleased because someone trusted me straight away, it was Supersprout by the way.
I have had 1 minor bad experience , no big deal, and a really sad one when I sent quite a sizeable parcel of seeds overseas and they were never acknowledged,nor did my swaps ever come, but that is a very tiny percentage of the envelopes I have posted.
I have never let that put me off,
XX Jeannine
I can honestly say that to date (fingers crossed ;D ;D) I have never met with anything other than honesty and generosity when swapping with people here. Like most us, I happily do the 'seed' part without the 'swap' part precisely because I met with so much encouragement and open-handed giving from A4A-ers when I started off. I guess sooner or later I'll get 'taken' but I will selfishly continue to trust and give cos I enjoy it (and it's only seeds ;D ;D)
Quote from: OllieC on April 08, 2007, 13:35:11
Here is a link to someone who is known as funplants. Interstingly, he particularly like bamboos. Seems to work in Cambridge.
https://auth.gardenweb.com/members/funplants
If it's not him then perhaps someone should give him a call & let him know that someone is impersonating him!
Just clicked on the link - and it would appear he is no longer looking for any seed swaps at this time, nor does he have any to offer at this time....
Quote from: Jeannine on April 10, 2007, 20:24:31
I have had 1 minor bad experience , no big deal, and a really sad one when I sent quite a sizeable parcel of seeds overseas and they were never acknowledged,nor did my swaps ever come, but that is a very tiny percentage of the envelopes I have posted.
Hope it's not me ??? Please everyone let me know if you are not happy with any swaps I'm involved with I'd rather know! I am generous but very very busy and sometimes forgetful!
Of course it's not you you ninny,you have been super duper. It wasn't even Spain and it was someone who doesn't post any more, I think they only had about 5 posts, I should have known better as the request sounded fishy but I am an idiot.
You have been a fab swapper, great selection, speedy delivery, oh you dope.. I am laughing now. Stop being so ruddy daft!!! XX Jeannine
you and me both Jeannine. She really is a dafty ! lol
I am sitting here looking at my Muchamiel and Tres Cantos as we speak Biscombe. ;D
I love talking to my "mates" who have introduced me to some wonderful plants through their generosity.
;D
You know Mrs KP, I was under the impression that she was bright girl too LOL a lot
XX Jeannine..
Come on Biscombe..reponse here before we get really personal!!!
she's a LOT brighter than me J. She doesn't live in the west of scotland to start with roflmao
;D
Awwwwww!!!! but I am a bit of a noodle head sometimes xxxxx
Pardon me in advance....Dope XX Jeannine
I haven't heard anything from him... I do hope he is not ill or anything! If he is, I would be mortified.
Sorry to hear that your OH lost £100 like that, Mrs KP. :( Yes, unfortunately these things happen. I lost count of money I lend that never came back. I must be an easy prey! :-\ :D
I had a number of swaps here and most people have been very kind and generous including many who have posted in this thread! ;) Seed/plant swap is great, I would never be put off. :)
Tora,
sorry to hear of your bad experience ... there will always be a few people who cannot be trusted, ce la vie
My contacts and dealings on A4A have always been wonderful, such generosity and folks are so very helpful.
A 'lady' who shall remain nameless (lives in West Midlands) sent me a parcel of live plants, her postage was around £2.00. At first she would not allow me to re-imburse her .... but eventually agreed to accept some postage stamps to 'balance the books'
Everyone has been most generous with 'swaps', and I am building up a little group of contacts who are becoming 'A4A friends'
I always put my name and A4A handle in letters and parcels and have recently made some personal seed packets with my real name and A4A address printed on them.
I think the idea of a 'contacts' section on A4A is a good one, not that we should necessarily say 'keep away from XYZ' (I have never liked 'little Black books') but to recommend folks with whom we have had good experiences.
Mikey
Quote from: mikey on April 12, 2007, 10:50:47
I think the idea of a 'contacts' section on A4A is a good one, not that we should necessarily say 'keep away from XYZ' (I have never liked 'little Black books') but to recommend folks with whom we have had good experiences.
Like a more informal - and eventually trustworthy - ebay system... Good idea.
Quote from: Tora on April 12, 2007, 09:40:59
Sorry to hear that your OH lost £100 like that, Mrs KP.
not half as sorry as the OH was ! i wrote him the cheque thinking he'd already checked the bloke out, so this scoundrel had all my bank account details as well as the OH cash. i was livid as you would expect and OH had a sore ear for days as well as a hole in his pocket !
we live and learn.
the number of fantastic friends that i have "met" and swapped with on this site (and and i count you in there too my dear) more than makes up for the bar stewards that you occasionally encounter.
i kinda hope you're bamboo man has fallen down a hole somewhere and is unable to keep his part of the deal, but then i'm not that wicked .... or am i ?? :P
I think the idea of a contacts list is good but is it workable. It would be terrible if a mistake was made, or something didn't come back but did weeks later because someone was ill or something. I am just working on a swap form that I fill in with a request and what is coming back to me,both addresses on, both forum names, both swap items shown too I will start sending it out with everything I send after next week, and I shall keep a copy. This will stop mistakes on my part and hopefull help others.
Xx Jeannine
I've got a pretty simplistic take on this swapping thing - there again, I'm a pretty simple person ;D
Anything I give, I give because it's superfluous to my requirements...if it's given as a swap, whether or not the swap is successful, for my part it's still superflous to my requirements......
I don't like the idea of scoring peeps' performance at all. I'm v. sorry that the occasional bad apple turns up, but if you think of all the swaps & given seeds that have whizzed around between us, there aren't many are there?
It's possible tho that if you're sending heavy stuff it wouldn't cause anyone offence to ask for postage in advance?
Tora,
I was looking at bamboo plants yesterday with a thought to buying
something for my borders,and was thinking of you.
I haven't actually bought anything yet,but if you can tell me what kind it was that you were after I would be willing to buy the kind you wanted and split it with you :D
This way I get the bamboo I'm after and you do too, without feeling you
need to send something in return ;)
Everyone's a winner here :D
Quote from: scotch-mist on April 14, 2007, 02:34:02
Tora,
I was looking at bamboo plants yesterday with a thought to buying
something for my borders,and was thinking of you.
I haven't actually bought anything yet,but if you can tell me what kind it was that you were after I would be willing to buy the kind you wanted and split it with you :D
This way I get the bamboo I'm after and you do too, without feeling you
need to send something in return ;)
Everyone's a winner here :D
Awww Thank you so much for thinking of me! :-* I can't tell you how touched I am (sniffling).
The kind of bamboo I wanted was hardy bamboo, mainly phyllostachys. Funplants had a huge collection of phyllostachys bamboo. I was so excited when he offered me the plants...
How about you get a bamboo plant you want and keep it for a while in your border. Then when it's established I will gladly take your kind offer. :D What kind of bamboo do you like scotch-mist? I can buy a plant as well and then do the same (split it when it's big enough and send it to you).
I'm originally from Japan and bamboo is ubiquitous there. My glanddad's garden had a clump of bamboo and I loved listening to the rustling sound it made. :)
Quote from: mikey on April 12, 2007, 10:50:47
A 'lady' who shall remain nameless...
Mikey
cracks me up every time I read this ;D who is this (in inverted commas) ..lady.. then...I think we should be told ::) :P ;)
actually it was me..and do you know why I didn't want postage..cos I'm a gal who don't know her onions, is why....instead of Egyptian Walking Onions poor Mikey received.....leeks...runty little leeks at that...oh! and a couple of slugs as well...
How would that rate me on the score chart...bit like my school reports, perhaps?...."she tries hard..."
What was he swapping for the slugs? ;D - and does he want any more? ;D ;D
Quote from: ellkebe on April 15, 2007, 17:49:27
What was he swapping for the slugs? ;D - and does he want any more? ;D ;D
Well, it's all protein isn't it, and pensions these days....yep spect Mikey would be delighted ::)
;D ;D ;D
I've got dandilions and thistles Mikey can have for ladybirds ;D ;D ;D
I can just see everyones face at this being posted in the swapshop ;D ;D ;DLOL
Oh, if we're doing thistles and dandelions, I could easily parcel up some couch grass roots for anyone interested ;D
Quote from: ellkebe on April 21, 2007, 15:45:44
Oh, if we're doing thistles and dandelions, I could easily parcel up some couch grass roots for anyone interested ;D
I have sent out horseradish roots (which I consider just as bad a weed as couch and dandelions and thistles and bindweed...) to at least 6 different people ;D.
If the original poster still needs bamboo I have a LOT, not sure on how to post it tho?
Grows all over the place here, some over 20 foot high.
I'm in North Wales, not sure where original poster is located.
I once received some bare-rooted and wrapped in damp kitchen towel, then in a carrier bag. If you want to risk it I'd gladly send you some postage.
cheers
Quote from: DadnDom on April 25, 2007, 12:29:41
If the original poster still needs bamboo I have a LOT, not sure on how to post it tho?
Grows all over the place here, some over 20 foot high.
I'm in North Wales, not sure where original poster is located.
Whereabouts in North Wales? We scoot by there fairly often, and I've noticed my lovely bamboo is flowering so will need replacing pretty soon.. would rather give money/homebrew/plants to someone on here than a garden centre. :)
if your bamboo is flowering does that mean it will produce seed?
Quote from: rutters on April 27, 2007, 17:42:34
if your bamboo is flowering does that mean it will produce seed?
Yup, though it'll die shortly afterwards.. and I suspect it'll take a good few years for the seedlings to get up to 6 feet. Will try and grow a few babies, though, yeah.
Apologies to all concerned. I am now back in the UK. Unfortunately, due to the nature of my work I was sent abroad, and as a result was unable to follow up a number of the swaps that I was involved with. With respect to being send abroad, I have a legal obligation under certain circumstances to do this when instructed
For those that were messed around by this, I apologise profusely, and will rectify the imbalance.
I remember that I owe someone for some ginko, and passiflora edulus seeds, and would be grateful if they could provide their contact details again as I appear to have misplaced them.
I would also like to thank those that I have had successful swaps with.
Hello funplants. :) I'm so sorry that you had to go abroad.
I'd like to send you a PM but your inbox is full. Could you kindly empty your inbox please?
Thanks. :)
Tried funplants' e-mail address as well but got a delivery failure notice. :(
Oh well Tora, its not like you didn't try. It seems more unfair now because Funplants actually posted to apologise. Maybe gone abroad again, just to give benefit of the doubt :-\
It is a risk we all take when we do swaps, mostly everyone here is honest, its just a shame when someone gets 'stood up' so to speak :(
On the positive side........its good to see you back online ;)
There must be a logical explanation for this no one would go to the trouble of identifying themselves after all this time to disappear again so quickly, deliberately surely? .
Sounds to me like he is in the SAS or something if he has to disappear at the drop of a hat!
Come on Funplants sort yourself out, get someone else to see the swap through if you are unable
He might be in the TA :)
Then again he could be a secret agent :-\
Any more ideas ;D ;D ;D?
Just a bit of fun :)
Quote from: betula on January 23, 2009, 16:47:04
He might be in the TA :)
Then again he could be a secret agent :-\
Any more ideas ;D ;D ;D?
Just a bit of fun :)
Or maybe he's into guerrilla gardening ;D
Hope you get something sorted out soon Tora
1066
Or just maybe, he was inside for a year.....escaped.....then got nicked again ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: star on January 23, 2009, 21:13:36
Or just maybe, he was inside for a year.....escaped.....then got nicked again ;D ;D ;D
Lol! :D
Thanks everyone for your kind comments. :)