Does anyone else have names for their lottoe neighbours? |
Ours is a big lottie and in the beginning we used to say things like " eh you know the old guy with the green car etc" So nick names came up,
We have.............
Sticky Fingers cos he nicked our rhubarb
Sweetheart cos he is the most gentle person you could meet
Creeping Death because he moves 3 steps a minute, walks on to your lot,stares for a minute or two while you are sweating over something and says."well that won't work" or " I see you're wasting your time again" and this feeling of doom creeeps over you.
Cloth Ears cos he never actually hears what anyone says
Dum Dum.Dreary Man co he is the most boring monotone conversationalist.
Poop Poy coc he always manages to bring a bucket of manure into every conversation.
Fancy Pants cos he gardens in a suit
That's a start. I would love to hear yours.
XX Jeannine
wonder what they call you ;) ;D
Hmmm, As our previous lottie site had only 15 plots spread between 9 holders & I kinda did the admin bits, I knew all their names ( and where they lived he he he), but when I lived in a cul de sac I had names for all the neighbours because of course, hardly anyone talked to eachother.
There was Mr Intense - totally A. Retentive, lined everything up, washed his garage door every week, washed & polished the car every Sunday morning 10am, got very uptight if you parked anywhere near his property.....
Mr & Mrs Reg - 'cos he looked like Reg Holdsworth off Corrie
Cycling Reg - 'cos he looked like Reg Holdsworth off Corrie & cycled to the station every morning
John & Judy Showhouse because they bought the site showhouse
The Schumakers because although they had lots of kids, they always screamed into the close & onto their driveway at high speed.
The Gay Divorcee' - Well, she was divorced ( she hadn't realised that the frosted glass over the front door didn't hide the fact she came down to breakfast first thing in the nude.)
Nothing too scandalous, but at least we knew who we were talking about.
An elderly indian bloke on our allotment who I talk to just calls me John said it's easier that way. ;D
We have over a hundred allotment members here at Saltwell and I'm just on nodding terms with most of them. But in our little group of regulars we have two Johns, one is of the mormon faith so he gets "John the baptist" . ;D ;D
We had the Raspberry man on the plot behind us - because he grew loads of raspberries - found out later that his name was Fred.
The latest one is Chickweed Man - because he is growing a crop of chickweed for his budgie. Thankfully I am no where near his plot.
And then of course there is Big Derek and Little Derek!
A chap on our site is known to my wife and me as "Mr Only Meee" because he's so much like the old Harry Enfield character ("ooh, you don't want to do it like that...")
Cheers,
Rob ;)
Can't think of too many.
There is Rockin Ron who has the plot next to me. He's very very poorly unfortunately. :( He wears the full Teddy Boy get up.
Dicky..who I always call "Dicky Dicky Dido" Don't know why and he certainly doesn't sing boring pop songs. Doesn't sing at all...just grumbles. He has been a superb help to me. (He calls me "gorgeous" lol :-[ :-[ :-[ :D :D)
Creeping Jesus. A lad of fourteen who hangs around the allotments morning noon and night. He walks into your plot without saying anything,you turn round and suddenly he's there,scares the life out of you.
one woman we call mash potatoe as we once saw someone miss the path and drive over part of her emerging spuds, he hid the tracks and we never told her why some never happened. another we call tape measure as he is very precise if the book says 12" apart and 8" deep thats what happens i just hate to think what i,m called perhaps i,m better off not knowing
marg ;)
I've only been there a few months so only one so far: Chicken John, because:
his name is John
he runs around like a headless chicken
there's a character in the Bill Bryson book "A Walk in the Woods" called Chicken John who keeps turning up and annoying everyone
Chicken John used to have my plot so will quite happily wander onto it and tell me off for doing things like cutting down the diseased apple tree he never got any apples from, and whenever I see him he shows me how shiny his spade is. I get the giggles about his spade now whenever I see him, so he probably thinks I'm a lunatic!
'Is It Level?' - obsessed with things being level, in particular our new greenhouse ::) Goes everywhere with a spirit level. Went into Notts. city centre last week to see the 'new-look' market square. Guess what? The paving slabs aren't level ;D
'Postman With The Nasty Dog' - says it all really. Vile creature it is ...
'Whatshisname With the Geese' - also self-explanatory. Also known as 'Him Wit' Gold Teeth'
'Ramone of the Bean' - took on an allotment and grew a bean. Just the one. Nothing else (ex-allotment holder!)
'Sexy Bloke on the Top Avenue' - me and some of the other girls like to go and peek through his privet on hot summer days ;D
'The One With the Moustache' - not a bloke.
'Rhubarb Paddy' - deaf as a post. Wanders into your allotment and shouts "I'M TAKING SOME RHUBARB DARLIN'" ... OKAY PADDY, HELP YOURSELF ... "PARDON DARLIN'?" I'm making some flash-cards for this season.
'Shed Kev' - every available space for growing things on his allotment has a shed on it.
'Operatic Patty' - sits on her allotment on long summer evenings singing opera and songs from the show.
Others which are self-explanatory: Pigeon Wayne, Fishpond Penny, Tomato McCready and our dear departed allotment partner Mad Frank (he's still alive ... just left the area!)
AND I LOVE THEM ALL ;D Apart from Ramone.
We have Mr. Perfect on our site, because everything on his site is perfect, not a weed in site and everything lined up and neat and tidy. Further over we have Mrs. Perfect, no relation to MrP, she riddles every last bit of her soil. It is so fine that it looks like icing sugar. Haven't the heart to tell her that she has probably shaken or squashed any worms on her plot into an early death, and that her soil will have completely lost its structure. One of our old timers used to always turn up on a ladies bike with a shirt and tie on, him not the bike, and a really old fashioned raincoat, and he was little Alan or old bloke. :D busy_lizzie
We've only been on our lottie for 3 months, but alreaady we've learned that almost everyone is called stan.
The guy who ploughed our plot is stan (stan the tractor).
The guy on the plot to our right is also called stan.
'Stan's brother' has the plot to our left.
PS we're known as the 'television gardeners' (see earlier post a few weeks ago for explanation ::) ) :-X
We've got a Stan too ;D!
Quote from: busy_lizzie on March 29, 2007, 15:47:03
One of our old timers used to always turn up on a ladies bike with a shirt and tie on, him not the bike, and a really old fashioned raincoat, and he was little Alan or old bloke. :D busy_lizzie
At least he didn't used to turn up on a man's bike with a lady's blouse and skirt on ;D
One of our near neighbours is "Mr Tidy"....
:-X
We used to have 'old vinegar drawers' she was always moaning and had a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.
used to have a gordon in the corner, self explanatory, big frank, cos he had a big heart, uncle eric, he's 83 and nice to everyone and full of good advice, hope none of the people mentioned on this thread are reading this, some of you are going to be in trouble ;D ;D
When I first started this post someone asked." I wonder what they call you?"
Well actually I know that cos I was told. I had two names before they called me by name.
1. The Canadian lass whats married to the New John.
2. That lass what brings the buns.
XX Jeannine
Well I have on mine:-
The Teachers.......both used to teach me as a lass! :o :o
The Ken's, upper Ken, and lower Ken (tis all in their proximity to me!)
The Posh lottie Woman ::) ::) Says it all, hardly ever see her , reckon she sneaks on site at night to weed and feed and sow cos her plot always looks perfect
The Kiwi's (New Zealanders that have become great mates, possibly mainly due to the fact he mows the grass and is generous with his "tinnys" that he keeps in his shed! ;D
The newbies (next to me, taken on a plot this year, not met em yet but referred to as such!) trying to do a great job on what they don't realise yet is a rice paddy. :-\ :-\
Rick the plumber...yes he is!
RAC Man from Jamaica, he used to work for a breakdown company, and we swap veges and stuff, one of my faves!
Then we have about 15 that are all in "the posh end" Huge lotties and perfectly manicured every one, and they NEVER venture down to visit us lot!
I think I like the sound of your lot best XX Jeannine
just remembered, brian's little monkey boy, aka tony, does everything moaning minny (brian), asks him to, always moaning about not being told what's being done on the plots but doesn't come to meetings..brian's an ex plot holder :)
I forgot Lorry Paddy Mick!
He's not a lottie holder, but he turns up every week with a lorry full of SH*TE that he claims is good for us all!
If you sift through the car bonnets, old fridges and general detritus, you can find some good burning wood and the occassional 'antique' window frame from 1987.
In fact, last week he came round with about 150sq yards of vile beige carpet tiles - he marketed it as "Da foinest Axminster carpet from a stately home! The Duchess was beggin' me to take it awoiy"
he certainly knows how to avoid paying to dump his sh*te ;D
Oh yes Manics! He's a MASTER!
MARVELLOUS THREAD! Reading this at work. Muffled shrieks of laughter with streaming eyes have led people to to believe I'm having some kind of a breakdown!
Can't really mach any of yours for hysteria level, but we have:
Mr Fruit Bush - loads of black/white currants. His plot looks like an orchard. Wonderful!
Pumpkin Shed - quintessentially photogenic, neat and tidy shed painted in a pale grey/blue, the perfect colour to show of the rows of pumpkins on the windowsill. It looks fantastic come harvest time.
Hungarian Hot Wax Man - as he grows chillies on his plot....
Mrs Not Yours Its Mine - has lived next door to the site for nigh-on 40 years, thinks she owns the place and managed to mangle my trailer as she took objection to where it was given permission to be stored...
The Hard-Core - people near the entrance to the plots. Perfectly manicured, appropriately sized yet neat crops properly succession sown, where "never allotmenteered before" newbies get Allotment of the Year in their first year, home of:
Mr & Mrs Gauleiter (an uneccessarily harsh nick-name created by allotment-hating OH) - Chairman and his wife. She's more easy going than he is but I don't think either of them understand my country bumpkin, tree-hungging, raised-by-hippies approach to nature/growing.
Refined Muck - delivers all the manure and tells us that it's good muck as there's lots of "do-ings" in it. Does she mean poo...?
The Gent - wears a suit & tie but has a selectively productive but messy plot. He's quite quiet and has a wonderful aura about him.
Green Fingered Dog Man - a lovely, generous man with a dog and a small plot but who can make anything grow.
The Neighbours - you can figure out why...! Lovely people. Scarily good gardeners.
Lasagne Bed Bloke - close to the Hard-Core, but doesn't stock up on daleks.
God alone knows what they call me..!!!
If they read this, I'm doomed! ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: bennettsleg on March 30, 2007, 13:12:41
MARVELLOUS THREAD! Reading this at work. Muffled shrieks of laughter with streaming eyes have led people to to believe I'm having some kind of a breakdown!
likewise, I read this thread yesterday and it made Ribena come out of my nose :o :-[
Quote from: norfolklass on March 30, 2007, 13:19:37
Quote from: bennettsleg on March 30, 2007, 13:12:41
MARVELLOUS THREAD! Reading this at work. Muffled shrieks of laughter with streaming eyes have led people to to believe I'm having some kind of a breakdown!
likewise, I read this thread yesterday and it made Ribena come out of my nose :o :-[
Were you drinking Ribena at the time? Cos if not, that's
really wierd!!! ;D
Love this thread btw, I wish I could contribute but so far the people I've met have introduced themselves with thier names so I don't have to make up names for them. Although might do it anyway...!
Quote from: ACE on March 29, 2007, 18:16:26
We used to have 'old vinegar drawers' she was always moaning and had a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Marvelous ... reminds me of several 'oldies' I knew !!
Sadly I see very few on our plots to be social with ... they simply aren't :-X
However I know most of them through their kids ...
Little girl with my marigolds, :D
Little boy the artist, who drew me a pictue thank-you for his marrow !! He gave me back a bean last year ;)
... and the Munchkins :D
I have a Mr Perfect too. His plot is always immaculate and always puts mine to shame. However, his really nice and gives advice, but only if asked. The others are usually described to OH in relation to where they are e.g. next door towards the road (OH is terrible at remembering names).
We used to live opposite Mr & Mrs Tom, Dick and Harry - so called because she complained loudly in our presence about ' every T., D., & H.' parking on the road outside her gate. I don't think she realised that no-one has the right to the bit of road outside their house. (It was in a row of terraced cottages).
I don't know if I have a nickname but if I have it's prbably 'Cloth Ears' if other nicknames on this thread are anything to go by. Yes, I'm very deaf but I don't take exception to it as it's no different from calling someone Longlegs, or Stick Insect for example.
Having read about all your "characters", I wish I had a lottie! I'm at the wrong end of a 10 year waiting list, and don't even have neighbours where I live.....so I'm a lonely gardener. :'(
I'm sure veggie growing would be even more fun when combined with some "people watching"! 8)
Cherish your odd-bods! ;)
Quote from: creckless on March 30, 2007, 18:31:29
Having read about all your "characters", I wish I had a lottie! I'm at the wrong end of a 10 year waiting list, and don't even have neighbours where I live.....so I'm a lonely gardener. :'(
I'm sure veggie growing would be even more fun when combined with some "people watching"! 8)
Cherish your odd-bods! ;)
everything comes to he who waits, creckless, here's hoping you get to the top of the list soon :)
I am glad I started this thread too, I admit I was a little nervous when I did it, but am so relieved I am definately not alone.
My nicknames seem tame compared to some and I have laughed till I have cried and ...............
Excuse me I have to go somewhere rather quickly.
XX Jeannine
my friends car has reg KFC so they call her "Finger Licking Good" I cried when she told me.
Great thread.....
I'm - "that young girl on number 2"....... (not bad!!! - makes my old bones ache a whole lot less when I hear that!).
I have lovely neighbours - but the most helpful chap self-styles himself "the Terrorist" and has a skull and crossbones flag flying above his plot!!! - he mended my shed door for me out of pure kindness! He has an immaculate plot and has a job that starts early so he can get to his lottie ever day! The world needs more like him I say!
A chap near me I call the "Asparagus man" as I forgot his name and he had just planted his asparagus and was very proud of it!
Louise
X
Quote from: GREENWIZARD on March 29, 2007, 12:49:42
wonder what they call you ;) ;D
I doubt they are as imaginative as Jeannine!
Quote from: louise stella on March 30, 2007, 21:48:40
Great thread.....
I'm - "that young girl on number 2"....... (not bad!!! - makes my old bones ache a whole lot less when I hear that!).
I have lovely neighbours - but the most helpful chap self-styles himself "the Terrorist" and has a skull and crossbones flag flying above his plot!!!
Louise
X
I woud rename him Jack Sparrow! ;)
We only have so far 'The Major' self explanatory! My lovely Italian neighbours were The Corleones, but now I know their names, that ones been put to bed. We have Miss Marple, who is always popping in to talk flowers, knows everything about everyone and calls my girls The Pansies as they cheer her up. My neighbour on the other side was Victorian Dad as he was so strict with us on what would work and what wouldn't, now he is Mr Parsnip as all he talks about is 'Tender and True', think that might be all he's planning to grow. ;D My best lottie neighbour is Sarah off this site! 8)
;D
We have a neighbour who we call peter perfect because he go's around with his hand behind his back and Say's that not straight and another one we call Mrs bucket because she gives the workman china cups to drink out and on the lottie we have a chap that we call numb nuts because he has put a lock on his gate but it's only 2foot high so you could if you wanted to step over it
Got a Rambo,old boy who must be seventy+ allways got combat pants string vest and a bandanna on. Then there's wobblychops, moves his chops up and down when concentrating. Clock man, got a clock in his shed window. Plod, ex copper.The Rottiwielier wife of a plot holder.
;D ;D ;D ;D This thread has had me in stitches! Imagine if these people are here on this site and identify you and themselves. Be a bit frosty in the lottie shop eh?
It's rent day today and I've been reminded of a few more peeps ... my allotment is next to the Association shed where they pay so I've seen them scuttling about :D
'Him who reported to the committee that his neighbour tried to kill his wife by poisoning his cardoons' and his neighbour 'Him who reported to the committee that his neighbour has prostitutes in his shed' :D
Our chairman had to sort out a physical altercation between them once. Highly amusing. Fisticuffs over the flowerbeds and all that.
I met a couple signing up for a lottie today. Didn't ask their names, but from henceforth they will be known as 'Mr. & Mrs. Won't Last Five Minutes'
Oh Trixie, stop... it is not healthy to laugh this much.Did you sell tickets?XX Jeannine
Trixie, i reckon that's what the old timers on our site call us ::)
We found out today we've got a James Bond as our next door but one lottie neighbour ;D but apparently he's known as Sid
we can beat yours, trixie, our new ones lasted 1 week, rotovated an area the size of a grave and gave up ;D
Rotivated an area the size of a grave??? Oh my goodness! Check it out if you see freshly dug soil and a 'toe' sticking out of the soil!
Quote from: kitten on April 01, 2007, 17:53:35
Trixie, i reckon that's what the old timers on our site call us ::)
I know that feeling Kitten! ;)
Quote from: Trixiebelle on April 01, 2007, 18:25:50
Rotivated an area the size of a grave??? Oh my goodness! Check it out if you see freshly dug soil and a 'toe' sticking out of the soil!
s'okay, trixibelle, had a look this morning, they only skimmed the top 3 inches :)
Well we gotta newbie, saw him for the first time yesterday........no shirt,digging, shoulder length blond hair,I think he must have a home tanning lamp and he has to be a fireman, he is 4 lots from me....
Can I borrow a cup of sugar..........nah
Hello, I see you are new..have you ordered you cow poo yet............nah
Morning, my you are are busy, what ya gonna plant first................nah
I have some spares if you wanna pop in my shed and take a look...........maybe
Help me out here ladies!!!!
I am calling him The Gift.
XX Jeannine
'Are you single?' always seems to break the ice for me :D
Quote from: Jeannine on April 02, 2007, 14:42:30
Well we gotta newbie, saw him for the first time yesterday........no shirt,digging, shoulder length blond hair,
I am calling him The Gift.
XX Jeannine
;D ;D ;D - Hoping that the warm weather stays with you Jeannine!
Quote from: Trixiebelle on April 02, 2007, 14:45:35
'Are you single?' always seems to break the ice for me :D
worked for me 11 years ago!
I can't say that, I am 64!!!
I just wanna look.
XX Jeannine
i get called hannah, no idea why my name is heather!
i have mad lindsey 2 plots over, and i think everyone else is called norman!
i've only been there 6 months or so and not really seen everyone yet with it being the winter. no doubt nicknames will follow
Well we saw a new lottie owner today for the first time, She has had the plot about three months but I have never seen her till today. For the last three months we have seen workmen clearing the plot and buliders making raised beds and laying pavers but today she came. Lady Docker we have called her, carrying trays of purchased plants ,she was wearing 4 inch heels, with a big hat and jewellery. She knelt on a pad with pink gloves on and planted lettuce in a new bed. I just had to share that with you XX Jeannine
hhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm is all i can say jeannine :o ! Mind you, nothing wrong with pink gloves - i have some and they fit a treat ;) ;D
o please try and get a sneaky pic jeannine i could do with a laugh! ;D
Me too Kitten, but I don't garden in a twin set and pearls with a Queen Mother wedding hat.
I dare not take a picture, unless I can get one without her face showing,not to put on the net, I will try though
XXX Jeannine
wonder what she'll do if the sluggies get her precious lettuces ? give up? ;D
Nah, I reckon she woulf hire an exterminator.
Quote from: Jeannine on May 06, 2007, 18:42:03
Me too Kitten, but I don't garden in a twin set and pearls with a Queen Mother wedding hat.
Perhaps they're last seasons, daaaaahling :-* ;) ;D
I've only had my plot about a month but i've already 'christened' a few of the people i met....we have:-
Captain Birdseye - he wears a captains hat and has a long white bushy beard!
Tractor man - He ploughs all the plots with his tractor
Farmer Giles - He has 6 plots and they all have potato's on them! Hes a farmer
Shed man - Hes just spent the last 3 weeks building a shed from scratch
ooops a daisy - He didnt bolt his green house down and the wind took it and shared his glass with about 7 other plots!! Ooops!
Sticky Fingers! - He walks round looking for peoples tools and if anyone has left them out he takes them, puts them in his shed, waits for you to buy a new one the brings them back to you. Telling you he kept them for safe keeping!
Thats about it for now, but give me a couple more weeks and im sure other will have nick names too lol
If you read the very first post on this thread it tells you about our Sticky Fingers too. Actually the whole thread is worth reading, some of it is hilarious. XX Jeannine
sorry in advance to anyone who smokes..we now have 'f*g ash jim'..he insists on coming in the communal shed, usually when someone's eating their dinner and lighting up >:(
Her in the corner - because she has the plot in the corner (of course)
Mr Leek - his name is Gerry, but we called him Mr Leek for months, because he gave us a bunch of leeks when we first arrived.
I know most of the individuals names whose plots surround mine. They are all straight forward people and I wouldn't at this early stage want to start giving them nicknames.........they might read this site. I do wonder at what they may call my, apart from "young lady" which at my age I always find flattering. "Irksome little oik" has always been my fear!
funny thread glad I read it all, I dont have nicknames for other plot holders as I know most of them by first name on our lane.
another plot holder calls one of the others jesus and another bin laden, dont know why, they dont look like either of them, lol
We have...
Bonfire Bob....every time he comes on site the first job is to light a bonfire
Geraldo... musician, plays with a jazz band
The Professor...lovely fella, but lets his wife do all the work whilst he sneaks to the back of his shed amongst the fruit bushes/trees.
Glass Eye...likes to ogle the ladies.
When I got my first half plot back in 1977 I was next door to this wonderful gardener from Estonia-Lord only knows what his name was-something beginning with G and then it was unpronoucable.
I used to call him `strong back`to his face because he teased me as this new lad by saying "Digging gives strong back for night" to others I sometimes called him `Sir G`-why? because he was an old Estonion of course!-boom boom.
The only noteable other one was `Arthur`-who took double digging beyond the realms of belief-huge trenches-so Arthur as in Arthur Scargill-well it was around the time of the strikes
I have absolutely screamed with laughter reading this thread Jeannine and I have to own up to something ;
A week ago I filled up my car at our local petrol station and to my horror realised (too late), that I had left my purse in the top drawer of my desk at work. I only had my work ID badge and went into the shop very red face and started stammering my poor excuse and could I leave my watch and I would be back at the end of the day to pay my bill... well you can imagine my shock when the chap behind the counter says "don't you have an allotment at .... - "well yes, I gulp - never mind he says - you can bring the money later - I'm your neighbour from across the way! Well I was so embarassed as I did not even know him. I now would hate to know what he calls me. :-[
The allotment nicknames I have at the moment is Ron the Chicken Man - he really does have chickens and lets us have eggs off them - he is a lovely old guy who always had a kind word to say to everyone. His lottie is a bit of a mess - what with chicken coops to one side and potaotes to the other.....
Then there's Mrs Perfect Robin - who always calls me Penny - her (and her husband's) allotment is always perfect and she stands and feeds the robin from her hand. She's the nosy kind and always seems to spot my dog sneaking away and then kindly yells over from her allotment - dog's out!!
Then there's my neighbour "MIA" - I've only clapped eyes on him once in the 8 months I have had the plot. He swept into the place with his smart sportscar and told me he was erecting a greenhouse!! I have now found out that he has been given several warnings about the state of his plot - he has rasperries in the front bit - but then gets the rest of the 5 rods rotavated each year. The weeds he is banking up on the back bit of the lottie that looks like Thitsleville. I believe his greenhouse - which is lying in pieces just in front of Thistleville has been that way since he got the plot a couple of years back.
There's Shrieking Sheila - she seems to garden with her daughter and talks so loud I can hear her 4 plots down - she has the most annoying voice which seems to carry long distances.
Then finally there's Scarecrow Sue - I think that she's Shrieking Sheila's sister. I am now on her niece's old plot. Not very friendly really - just seems to scurry around doing her work. Her nickname came about because she has this female scarecrow on her plot (which is one away from me) and every now and again her scarecrow gives me the fright of my life - I think that someone is standing looking at me.
Jitterbug
LOL @ SHRIEKING SHEILA ;D
I think Shrieking Sheilas cousin has just taken the plot next to me.
It was owned by a really odd chap who looked like he needed a good meal,he only ever grew cabbages,potatoes and beetroot so I called him Borsch,anyway he moved over the road and lo and behold his daughter got the plot. She comes with three men who she screams her orders at all the time, we call her The Mouth,and collectively we call them the Family. We have never heard the three men speak but I know they are related because they all have the same hungry look. They have just put a ten inch fence at the front of the plot made out of seeds trays.
Is anyone familiar with the movie that had the duelling banjos in, I don't remember the name but hunters go into a bayou and find some very weird folks.
I find myself humming the tune when I see them.Isn't this terrible,I am truly wicked.
So Jitters what would they call you I wonder, She who could not pay!!! Sorry love.
But then you could call him...My Hero.
It is a great post, I agree, a real collective masterpiece of fun .
XX Jeannine
Nah Jeannine - I would not call him my hero - as his lady - who seems to be in charge has a lot of tattoos and almost single handedly erected a fruit cage!! Mmhh - maybe I should call her Jane!!
Jitterbug
maybe you should call him 'jane'
Wondering what my nickname will be after all the hops I've unloaded at the plot this week!
"The Can Snatchers " have a plot next to mine. There are two communial watering cans that live under the water trough. Most of us have our own but some of the newbies haven't got anywhere to keep them yet, and just use them. These two come up and take the lid of the trough, fill them up and just keep them on their plot while they are planting. I share mine with the other newbies and hope the snatchers might invest in their own can one day or just take the one! Takes all sorts ;D
[quote
Is anyone familiar with the movie that had the duelling banjos in, I don't remember the name but hunters go into a bayou and find some very weird folks.
I find myself humming the tune when I see them.Isn't this terrible,I am truly wicked.
So Jitters what would they call you I wonder, She who could not pay!!! Sorry love.
But then you could call him...My Hero.
It is a great post, I agree, a real collective masterpiece of fun .
XX Jeannine
[/quote]
....the film is called Deliverance.
That is it, Deliverance.
da da da da da da da da
Thank you ,love that bit with the music ,got to get that movie XX Jeannine
Oh nooooooooo don't start me off!
It is sort of lottie related...........and bear with me, may take a while to relate :-
Sisiter staying over after an op, bored out of her brains, fancy a road trip says I? Yup, where to says she? Manure buying says I! ;D ;D (has to be one of my fave activities sadly!) Oh OK I suppose.
So off we go to the farm, drive into potholes that my poor car could barely climb out of, and the pair of us sat and looked at the place in a kinda awe..............it looked like we had stepped back into the 1920's, chickens running, cats, dogs barking, shyte everwhere, apple trees, hay bales etc. etc.
So I climb out of car, eye on barking dog and a pair of feet appear under an ancient tractor, youth looks at me, eye? says he, with a drugged appearance, erm looking for a load of manure to be delivered says I (thiking soooooooo glad am in my gardening clothes an boots!)
Wait a mo I get someun......oh before you go says I, what on earth is that bald bird, and why is it running round and round in circles? Oh that, tis a one eyed guinea Fowl. (Snork kinda noises from sister in car) so I waited, (watching bird running round in circles) and another young um appeared, same appearance, same question , same answer...........sister is car suddenly shrieks with laughter, look look says she, and lo and behold, a one legged rooster calling out for all his women to see!
Well, this just started to get like something out of a movie, and then the farmer arrived, and what can I hear from my sister, yes, that same music being sung!!
Bless, he looked like he had the same clothes on he had worn since 1920's, remined me of grampa from that programme they used to strap Granny to the top of the truck on a rocking chair, Beverly hillbillies and kept repeating everything I said.
Can I get some manure delivered please? He: Manure Deliverd
On the allotments He: The Allotments
Ken got a good drop of stuff off you He: Good drop of stuff
Well you get the jist.
Parted with £30.00 and my sister sung the tune all the way home, what ensued was an afternoon of hilarity, one eyed bald guinea fowls, (obviously being attacked by others rushing up on his blind side) and cockrels that "couldn't get their one leg over" all the usual childish things sisters giggle about, to a point we were crying with laughter, and have now re named the farm the funny fowl farm.
But bless the farmer for keeping birds others would have slaughtered!
She mentioned that it looked like something out of the deliverence, and would be worried that if I went up there by myself I would be popped in a silo never to be seen again! ;D
Oh and it really was a lovely drop of stuff when it arrived! ;)
So Jeannine, if you want to see the Deliverance for real, come visit! ;D
Doris,there is no way I can possibly attempt to describe how much I have laughed at this last post,it took me about 6 goes when reading it to John before I could get to the end . It is without a doubt the funniest thing I have read on A4A yet. I think your sister has real taste in music and you should write this down and publish it.
Thank you,next time you go ask them if they do B&B, it would be worth the trip just to see the cockerel . Goodness knows what the cows look like.
Jeannine
da da da da da da da da da
Still cannot stop laughing, I have a headache now and need to go potty quick !!!
da da da da da da da da da...............................
Well - I will think twice about going out to one of our rural farms ... Never know what might hop out at you....
What a funny posting - my tummy still hurts. Thanks for sharing that.
Jitterbug
Had a rare sighting of one allotmenteer today: 'Invisible Steve'.
He was in the local Co-Op buying Carlsberg Special Brew.
Never goes up to the allotment. Never does any gardening and even if he did, no-one could see him to his 'magical wall of privet' that's about 12ft high ::)
;D ;D ;D@ Invisible Steve!!
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D@ Doris_Pinks!!!
Our allotments are very small, only twelve and a half plots so everyone knows everyone else but we have a few nick names:
The Welsh Wizard 'cos he's...Welsh and he whizzes around his plot.
Roundup .... no weeds live on his plot.
Perfect Pete .. this one is ironic if you know what I mean
I am David when I am at the plot and Allotment Dave when I am not. There are lots of David's in the pub you see!
I really shouldn't - but ...
There is a loverly little ancient Chinese lady who has the most fantastic allotment that she lays out using fen shui (?) - 'cos nothing is in lines - little triangles of lettuce - groups of leeks. Every time (and I think that she actually lives there!) that I go there she is watering something (with a hose) - I call her paddy.
Then there's her neighbour, an elderly (90+) gentleman who always wears a beret (and sometimes a cravat) - so froggy seems appropriate.
And my wife refers to the bloke on the allotment next to ours as farty pants - every time he bends over (apparently) ....
I'm aching so much from laughter ;D. At one point I couldn't read for tears. The phone has just rung and I couldn't speak for laughter, so they hung up.
I don't have an allotment yet, (4th on the list) but I'm sure when I do, I will have names. My memory is shocking for names.
I had a (single) neighbour a few years ago who use to watch her kids go off with *Week-end Dad* and always said the same thing. So we christened her *Mrs Love-You-Lots*
Please keep the names coming, this is the best thread I have read...EVER... ;D
I really needed a good laugh today and it has worked wonders.
Lauren :D
one of the old boys on my site is just crying out for a nickname but I can't bring myself to think of one.
you can hear him coming a mile off because every 30 seconds or so he clears his sinuses/lungs/throat/ears with THE most revolting noises :o. it must be a gravity-assisted condition because it definitely gets worse when he's bent over weeding.
when he's not gargling/snorting/gurgling he's singing, and he does actually have a loverly singing voice despite the problems he has with his airways!
Quote from: norfolklass on May 16, 2007, 13:47:19
one of the old boys on my site is just crying out for a nickname but I can't bring myself to think of one.
you can hear him coming a mile off because every 30 seconds or so he clears his sinuses/lungs/throat/ears with THE most revolting noises :o. it must be a gravity-assisted condition because it definitely gets worse when he's bent over weeding.
when he's not gargling/snorting/gurgling he's singing, and he does actually have a loverly singing voice despite the problems he has with his airways!
You could name him LINUS...Rhymes with sinus ;D
Lauren
So Ellie Ess.What are you doing with a picture of my husband please !!!
XX Jeannine
I would call him Snortalong
Sorry Jeannie ;D, as soon as I read you liked Sean, I just had to fine a nice pic of him. I think he gets better with age :P
Lauren
Have you seen his web site.
Oh and he is my screensaver on my lap top.
He makes my toes curl!!
XX Jeannine
I am ringing this back to the top because it is relevant to another post I am just putting on XX Jeannine
I had to read this again. Just like the first time I've laughed till I cried.
Thought I would bump this back up so any newbies could read this and perhaps share some of their Lottie Nicknames.
I haven't met many fellow allotmenteers yet. Being down the bottom and behind the neighbours runners etc I don't think they can see me. But I'm sure I will have names soon enough ;) ;D ;)
Lauren ;D ;D ;D
Our self-styled plot leader, and on every local committee going, goes by the real name of Mr. Bean (yes really!). An obvious nick-name for his 'friends' is Beanie (rolling-eyes when the name said).
This seemed far to obvious, so neighbouring holder with same sense of humour who finds him as annoying as I do christened him 'Runner Bean' (he's skinny) and his brother with the next plot who is the roundness of a barrel, 'Broad Bean'.
Since I saw Runner Bean ordering his teenage daughter around on his plot last month (she ended up doing all the weeding), he has been renamed 'Fava Bean' (it works when you say it right).
Any other puns on Bean let me know.
Aren't nicknames great for letting off steam and frustrations.
When he retires from the committes PG I suppose you can call him asbean. ;D ;D ;D
The one with the rolling eyes could be a Papa de Rola bean, do they have a mean streak anywhere that could be a Rattlesnake bean,or a dumb one that could be a Noodle bean,maybe one that gets a bit hot who could be Red Noodle bean,perhaps a wife in the background that could be a Painted Lady bean, an old wrinkly that could be a Pension bean, one who has a lot to say could be a Tongue of Fire bean..........whatever lets all hope in the end thay are all Human Beans.
We have a new lottie holder who brings his wife, she sits on a chair talking to him while she smokes and does her knitting..we call her Tale of Two Cities Wife(coc I can't remember the name of the woman who knitted by the chopper!!
XX Jeannine
Madame Defarge ;D
That's the one, thanks Trixie XX Jeannine
Quote from: Jeannine on September 09, 2007, 10:44:07
The one with the rolling eyes could be a Papa de Rola bean, do they have a mean streak anywhere that could be a Rattlesnake bean,or a dumb one that could be a Noodle bean,maybe one that gets a bit hot who could be Red Noodle bean,perhaps a wife in the background that could be a Painted Lady bean, an old wrinkly that could be a Pension bean, one who has a lot to say could be a Tongue of Fire bean..........whatever lets all hope in the end thay are all Human Beans.
We have a new lottie holder who brings his wife, she sits on a chair talking to him while she smokes and does her knitting..we call her Tale of Two Cities Wife(coc I can't remember the name of the woman who knitted by the chopper!!
XX Jeannine
what about bore lottie bean ;D
just wanted to bump this up to the top again, as it's such a good thread.
also, an update on my noisy neighbour: I've recently found out that his lovely singing voice has been inherited by his son, who apparently earns quite a nice living as the local Elvis impersonator ;D his proud dad regularly has him blaring out of his truck stereo, and carries a framed pic on his dashboard ;D ;D ;D so now I'll have to call him Vernon ::)
Quote from: norfolklass on May 16, 2007, 13:47:19
when he's not gargling/snorting/gurgling he's singing, and he does actually have a loverly singing voice despite the problems he has with his airways!
Quote from: cornykev on September 09, 2007, 10:23:11
When he retires from the committes PG I suppose you can call him asbean. ;D ;D ;D
I'm just catching up on unread posts and just seen this. Very funny ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Bringing this one back for the newbies too.
This is really worth reading through if you feel down in the dumps, especially the one about the farm that was reminicent of the duelling banjos, priceless.
It was by Doris Pinks as in on page 4..don't miss it
XX Jeannine
Bump for manics.
thanks, Jeannine, back down (funny) memory lane ;D
Bump another really funny post
Few of them gone, now..we have butt man as he brings water butts, co chees ? sp..'cos he's an indian giver and Big Dave, little Dave, Big Keith and little Keith, all for obvious reasons ;D
Great thread. Good Laugh.
I am hopeless at names so more or less all the allotments have nicknames.
I have Mr and Mrs The model allotment It is so well organised.
Starwars because everything is in such neat straight rows right across the plot. it looks like the imperial armies ready for action.
Courgettes. He does not grow much else.
Vinyard
Cosmos
Bamboo Curtain - that's me becuase I grow tall peas along the edge of my plot and a lot of climbing beans.
Crazy Dog - refers to his puppy.
Raspberry - he has so many that soon they will take over the entire site. Everyone else is stuggling to get them to grow.
Diggin Dave - He is the most incredible digger the soil is about a foot higher when he has finished.
Then there are those called by their weeds. Dandelion, Poppy, Pimpernel and Long Grass. It is very interesting that on one site different people specailize in a particular weed.
Final Frontier - they seem to have so much space between everything.
I heard that there was an allotmenteer known as 'Tony Blackburn', bit of a legend and his name often came up in others converstaions - spent months looking out for someone with the looks or voice only to discover the gent in question really is called Tony Blackburn.
8)
if you've ever seen the "real" Tony Blackburn, he's a very strange colour indeed.
If he went abroad i'd be surprised if they let him back in
Quote from: Bugloss2009 on July 19, 2010, 11:06:59
if you've ever seen the "real" Tony Blackburn, he's a very strange colour indeed.
If he went abroad i'd be surprised if they let him back in
I have to find all new names now for my new neighbours.. so far we only have a few.
Blow Hole and Brat..this is a man who comes with his teenage daughter, he uses her as a puppet and talks to her when he is really wanting everyone to hear him, this is funny cos he hasn't a clue about gardening bit pretends he does rather than just say so.. we were a bit amused when he planted hos potatoes as he cut them up into dice.. must have hread that some folks cut them, needless to say none grew, we then heard him telling his daughter in his big voice that the moles had eaten all his spuds. She is brat because she doesn't want to be there and sits and sulks and throws tantrums till he leaves.
Garlic Lil is behind us, she has 4 plots behind us, all filled with raised beds with very weedy paths, all the lotties except 1 are filled with garlic.
Sweetie is a lovely man who has got a plot just down from us, a very shy man who seems to not actually speak to anyone, he bows as we go past and is really sweet, we say good moring etc and he just answers yes.
Still trying to figure out a name fo the man who comes in his big 4x4 and takes up 2 handicapped spots to park it although he has no badge. The one I have in my head is not agood one.
We have one man who talks to himself, he answers too.I think I heard himself calling himself Dave, so he is Dave For Now.
We also have a hunk, he must be 6'6" , he is about 55ish but boy does he look good..haven't got a name I can write. I usally refer to him as .."mm..you know" John knows exactly who I mean. I need to find an excuse to talk to him!!
We have the Newlyweds, don't know if they are but their minds are rarely on digging!!
XX Jeannine
we call one ploholder 'man with the big rhubarb' he got this nickname because i must have said to my youngest something about loving the big rhubarb on the plot. few days later my son sparks up "mummys in love with the man with the big rhubarb'.
On our site we have:
Red cap – because he wears a red cap all the time.
Chicken man – he keeps chickens
Bill and Ben – two older fellas who row a bit sometimes
Threeadore – A greedy man who took on 3 plots for himself and 3 for his wheelchair bound wife and has yet to do anything with them aside from brag about how he's going to be self sufficient and that he doesn't need anyone's advice on how to clear brambles. A*****e
Greenhouse man – we found out that's what people called my husband before they knew his name as he built a rather large greenhouse
Thieving F*****s – They are called the "Jesus Army". They are church people believe it nor not. They have stolen a door that someone had on their plot to replace a shed one with, glass sheets from ours which they used as a screen for their pepper plants – which I promptly took back only to be told by another allotmenteer that they had complained to them because someone had stolen THEIR glass from their plot!! Black buckets from our plot and they have only had a plot from April this year. For a Christian church group they're not very Christian.
I really dread to think what people call me. I can be, lets say, opinionated, outspoken and I don't suffer fools gladly.
Judging by the amout of stuff they took from you...Pushover... but when you took it back probably.. Her Not To Mess With !! Well done.
I can't figure out why anyone froma church group could do that, they certainly seem to be commandment deficient, I wonder ahow many more they choose not to follow..scary to me.
Well I am glad Mum has good taste, and so pleased he doesn't grow carrotts..
We have a rather odd lady who doesn't have a name yet as I am still sizing her up. She walks from her plot past ours over and over again carrying a bucket with a trowel in it, followed by a manky dog, The bucket is not full, it may be half full but so far I haven't been able to see in from a distance. She goes in the direction of the manure pile, which from her plot and back again must be half a mile. She has the bucket in one hand and the other hand she has over her ear. Really odd.It's not dog poo cos she never picks that up!! Any ideas?
We have a lesbian couple who are very nice, one is very dainty and one quite the opposite, we have nicknamed them Little and Large.
Oh and I have another tall gent not unlike one we had in the Uk who walks so slow he is almost stood still, and he comes around with comments full od doom.. He is Creeping Death.
We have Blossom End Rot, this is man who must sit to weed as his rear end is always muddy and his pants are always worn there.I sspect he slides accross the ground.
XX Jeannine