Hello all and thanks for all your wonderfull replys to my post last week about losing my Father, Well been up the allotment the last two days talking away to him and getting a lot done, I feel at peace with myself now done me good to get up there and swear he was behind me at times telling me to keep at it, must admit there were times earlier this week when I felt like packing it all in but those feelings are now gone. The only thing that is getting us down a bit at the moment is the fact that we have to wait until a week on Monday ( 19/03/2007 ) to bury my Father.
Health and Safety rules stop Him being laid to rest after 1 o'clock in the day as cemertry staff say it is getting to dark to safely see what they are doing. The Worlds gone mad.
Dear Richard, so glad you feel a bit better now and have gone to the allotment , yes of course your Dad is behind you telling you what is what, and it will give you great comfort. Take care now Regards Mary :).
I am so sorry Richard I didn't know about you losing your father. Please accept our condolences. You must keep your allotment going. I find that I feel at peace when Im up the plot more than anywhere else. Was your father a gardener Richard?
Richard, it's so nice to hear you being more positive and getting on with things at the lottie. I'm sure your father is with you all the time, not just at the lottie, but I guess it's there you'll probably feel closest to him. Good news that you haven't packed it in too, it would have been such a shame.
Take good care of yourself x
your dad'll be with you for the rest of your life, Richard..i still 'feel' my mum around sometimes when i need her..she's been gone 30 years :)
That is a long time to wait for the funeral, Richard. I always think the time between a death & the funeral is the very worst so I'm sorry you and your family have to wait so long. Like the others I am pleased you are getting back to the lottie - I think growing stuff is the most theraputic activitiy there is but it must also be very sad for you as you did so much with your dad. Take care.
Very sad news, Richard. Condolences to you and your family.
My dad's been gone for 24 years and I swear he's been in the car with me on many an occasion; normally just before some trouble ahead becomes evident.
I feel that people will always be with us after they have gone; they just pop in every now and again to have a nose.
Richard I am so glad you spent quality time at the allotment. Great news that you are going to continue with the allotment.
I am a bit puzzled about the Health and Safety aspect resticting burial time. We lost my husband in January (2003). I asked for a 2pm burial as we had so many family coming from as far away as Devon, Kent and Worcs. It was no problem and the days were certainly shorter than they are now. Maybe it is a local thing. I know the waiting is really upsetting we felt we were in limbo.
Take care Richard.
Lorna.
Richard, I'm so glad you've found some peace. Its lovely that you had the allotment in common with your dad - you'll have lots of good memories to sustain you over the coming months. Best wishes for the funeral.
Thank you for checking in Richard. You're right that the world's gone mad....what time are they working on for goodness sake? Really pleased that you've been feeling peace at the lottie, it's going to be a good place to go for you.
All the best to you and your family,
Lish
Dear Richard, some days you will feel at peace, some days you will feel sad, some days you will feel unsettled and some days you will feel angry and some days you will feel so lonely and will feel that only one person can fill that gap, its all part of grieving.
I can honestly say it took me two years after my own Fathers death before i started to feel 'normal' again but thank goodness for my garden that gave me time to collect my thoughts.
I am thinking of you, knowing your pain and wishing you well xxxx
Hi Richard I am so pleased that you are handling the loss of your father with such strength - and yes I am sure as many have said he is watching and will be guiding you from now on.
I lost my mother 19 years ago and know that she is still about for me. I had a little seat by the wild life pond and I often go and have a chat to her as I miss picking up the ohone to tell her all the gossid etc... so go there instead. I am sure you will find that down on your allotment you will find a specail place to have a chat to your father.
Wishing you and the family all the very best
BB
My condolences Richard, soooo sorry for your loss
Richard, my old dad is with me every time I visit the plot - I frequently smell his old baccy roll ups and when there is nobody around, I natter away to the old bugger, putting the world to rights.
Glad you are feeling better - it is a lousy time - a time where you have to take each day as it comes, but rest assured, there are plenty of people here thinking of you and are around whenever you need to chat.
Glad you checked in Richard, you have been in our thoughts. The same thing happened to my mother's funeral and it was well over a week before we were able to hold it. It is so unfair to keep people hanging on when you need to say goodbye properly.
So glad you are able to get up to the allotment, that will be the thing that heals you most of all. Your Dad will always be beside you in the garden. busy_lizzie
Hi Richard,I lost my Mum followed the following week by my Dad in the 80's,both Ok up till then. I talk to them both all the time,even my husband does as he adored my Mum.We are often doing something and say Hey Mum what do you think of that,I find this a great comfort, we feel as if they are laughing with us etc.
At first it was difficult but gradually it became sort of everyday. I love the fact that feel at peace now. Enjoy your lottie, XX Jeannine
Hi Richard quality time down down the lottie is just what you needed and yes I bet your dad was behind you egging you on. All the best mate, Kevin.
Good to hear from you Richard, my thoughts are still with you and your family at this sad time. My partners mother died last November at 52 from lung cancer. We had to wait 9 days for the funeral and I think it was the worst 9 days of my life. The world has truly gone mad. Do they think we live in Finland or something and only have 4 hours of light a day?
I'm glad you still find peace at the lottie, I'm sure your dad will use it as his place to check up on you, as my mother in law is scattered by the beach, it's our place to go and chat to her.
Take care of yourself. Em x