Flight Lt. Aubrey Barrington-Smythe DFC was one of The Few â€" a dashing (and extremely handsome) young fighter pilot. Nobly bred, well (and extremely expensively) educated, and very rich, he had a way with him that could charm the birds from the trees or a girl from her underwear. Angela, the current recipient of his attentions, was the most beautiful of the WAAfs on the base. Today Aubrey was not flying. Although the Battle of Britain was at its height his whole flight had been stood down because their overworked Spitfires were having to be serviced, so he and Angela sat in the tall bracken by the perimeter fence â€" as far from the huts as possible, but within earshot of the tannoy â€" out of sight of the rest of the base, a wicker basket (provided by Aubrey) at their side.
Aubrey gently stroked Angela`s neck and throat. “Kiss me†she whispered. Aubrey reached into the basket and produced a bottle of Nuits St. George and sprinkled her lips with it before kissing her soundly. As they parted she asked “Why did you do that with the wine?†He replied “I am Aubrey Barrington-Smythe, the dashing fighter pilot, and when I nibble red meat I drink red wine. Angela was charmed. Matters then progressed somewhat to the stage where Angela`s blouse was unbuttoned and her bra` unsnapped. “Kiss me lower†she whispered. Aubrey reached into the basked and produced a bottle of Krug `36, which he uncorked with a loud bang, then splashed the contents liberally over her breasts before doing as he was bid. As he lapped up the champagne from her bosom she asked faintly “Why did you do that?†He replied “Because I am Aubrey Barrington-Smythe, the dashing fighter pilot, and when I nibble strawberries I drink champagne.†Angela was even more charmed.
Matters progressed further still, Angela was gently coaxed out of her nether garments, and she gasped “Kiss me lower still.†Aubrey reached into the basket once more and produced a bottle of Armagnac, which he poured over Angela`s lower abdomen (well, you wouldn`t want me to use that other word, would you?), then producing his cigarette lighter he set light to it. Leaping frantically to her feet, and beating even more frantically at the flames Angela screamed “What the hell did you do that for you bloody pervert?†Aubrey looked up with a pained expression and said “I am Aubrey Barrington-Smythe, the dashing fighter pilot,….
And when I go down I go down in flamesâ€
my god, I could see it coming and thought surely not. In truth, I am a deserter from staid and very right-on Gardenweb.
And isn`t your life brighter as a result?
Aaaaaaaaaagh!
How do I eat crêpes suzette flambées with a straight face now!
All best - Gavin
O.M.G. I really asked for this....didn't I? :o :-[ ::)...
:D "You are awful.....but I like you!".....(the younger ones wont know what I'm on about).....maybe some of the oldies wont either ???....H.P.
Ah now were getting to the jokes i know ;D , still a bit tame for me though.
Dan can i tell mine? the only trouble is they might melt the monitors.
If Dan lets me, be prepared get the showers, buckets of water ready ;D :o ;D .
go on...you know you wanna! ;D
Not till Dan give's the ok, i dont want to be thrown off the site ;D .
Jethro, just send it to all interested persons (including me) in a private message - type it once, copy, and paste as required.
Yay! Me to....me to...... :)
and me....hee hee
I`ll start the ball rolling. Look for your messages!
Don't forget me too! :)
I'm game!! ;) ..... ( me too please Hugh!! ;D )
and dont leave me out....especially as you've all got the the idea I'm into this sort of stuff!... :o....
hahahaha - I think Dan is going to have to set up a 'view at your own risk' section, or 'adults only'!
Fab joke Hugh - you are wonderful!
:D