Allotments 4 All

Yo Maggie :):):):):)


If its strongbow on tap then brillll fab great smashing go for it girl.. if its just water then, hey what the hell, I'll try anything once.. except arsenic and stuff like that, andmy message to anyone thinkingabout getting down with the arsenic is.. just say NO to arsenic!..... now if that message reaches just one person then it would have been worth it :)  

Yo BB you can help me out playing Sherwood Forest if ya like, but feel its only fair to tell you that since Suze declared her costume, there are no longer any Ivy tree parts going, cuz there aint so just accept it :)

Yo Suze.. ooooooooer wheres me soap?

oZzY %)
 

Having afew probs tonite hence thenew thread :):):):) that or I iz out of it :)

Sorry,Ozzy,you really ought to go to bed at a reasonable time.Me name's not Di,it's Maggie.Get it wrong again I shall get a big big hump.


 Â               (Can we do Lawrence of Arabia?)

Gosh Ozzy a whole forest!Wow that really is something .I,ve plenty of leaves to collect at the bottom of my garden.Must start right away.Dashing down there right now before the rain gets too bad.Can i bring some Budgies to sit in the Forest? they are Forest trained.

Good morning/afternoon/evening all, and Good Night Oz? :-/ ;D

Now this Panto thingy..I thought that the plot would be simple - Dastardly Sheriff (Jethro looks a suitable Baddie for that part?)and Gang padlock our cyber-lottie and incarcerate Dan for non-payment of taxes...Robin and his Merry Men come to the rescue (except for Friar Tuck, cos BB wants to play him & plans to spend the whole panto eating all the mince pies and drinking all the mead and, even possibly, harbouring lustful thoughts about Mimi the serving wench)) and then everyone has a Big Fight in Sherwood Forest and the Goodies win and free Dan and have lots of carousing at The-Pub-With-No-Name with Mine Host, Legless,  and the Baddies get put in the stocks and pelted with Eric's bantam eggs ;D

But who's gonna put this Panto together ???

Me a baddy, never ( says he twirling his tash, rubbing his hands with glee, and laughing.)  ; D put in the stocks  :o  does that mean i miss the drink  :-/ , i hope not.

Hey, Jethro!!! Got news for you, lad...you're gonna end up in The Drink after we've lobbed the eggs at you...didn't I tell you we were going to strap you to a Ducking Stool - again, courtesy of Ower Eric.. Eric a mild man, you thought??? Fool you!!! :o...

But worse is to come ...  ;D...as you're gonna be doubling as Props Manager Extraordinaire, you're gonna be constructing the contraption that's gonna dunk yer donuts ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Ah dunking my doughnuts, i remember them days well ( too long ago )  ;D .
Have you spelt ducking stool right  :o  ;D .

As nobody has included a part for me (other than the back legs of the horse which waters oZzY`s tree) can I please go on stage in the interval and do my recitation of "Eskimo Nell" (all 57 verses, of course)?


P.S. Sorry, I was thinking of the revised version.  The original has 61 verses of course.

No part for me yet either Hugh :'( And I being such a good thespian, to be or not to be.........errr what was the question?!) If you need cue cards for your recitation, I can hold them up for you!

O.K Ozzy,you've redeemed yourself.On second thoughts if i was a camel I might drink me own pond dry and that would never do.

Strongbow on tap sounds good to me too.In fact, I could be the supplier of intoxicating liquer.I'm sure evryone would perform MUCH better with a drop of hard stuff.Drop our inhibitions,that would be good fun.

Do i get the licence then,folks?

Go on then MaggieI suppose we'll all have to drag our reluctant selves round and force yet more alcohol down.What a bore.Do you need us to bring a bottle or three?What a bore drink ,drink,drink.

Hugh! This is gonna be a Group Effort - an me just a Penshner Groupie who's a bit bossy-like :P trying to get (and keep) the Young Things in order...

Now, it seems to me that this is a Panto of three halves...

And it needs someone to set the scene, tell peeps where things start and where, hopefully(  always better to travel in hope? ::) ) the scene will finish...and then set the next scene???

You up for the job, Oh Racconteur Extraordinaire??...surely a talent like yours can't be relegated to reciting Eskimo Nell through a panto-cow's bum?

Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Piece...


Lishka (move, yer b***er, move...)

You mean something along these lines Lishka:

Enter oZzY stage left dressed as tree - sings (to tune of `Trees`)  

  " I`m just a spaced-out Irish bloke
   Dressed up to look like english oak
   My leaves all flutter in the bre-eeze"
   (trips over trailing root and falls flat on stage)
   "Begorrah, now I`ve skinned me kne-ees"

Enter stage right 1st woodcutter with chainsaw ........etc.

 Be helpful if we even knew what the story line was meant to be.

In any case, I don`t trust anyone else to recite all 61 verses of Eskimo Nell without offending the Lord Chamberlain.
  

       If I promise to be very good
        Can I have a part in Robin Hood?
         Part of Ozzy's leafy bower
         Or a maiden for the sheriff to deflower?
        I dont mind if its small or big
        As long as its not the suckling pig!!!!!!!  

QuoteHugh!
Oh Racconteur Extraordinaire??...

The only man for the job....Alishka  ;D
altho I was secretly wishing we could preen together up in Ozzy's tree!  :'(


Oh well.....maybe backstage  ;)  ;)   ;D  ;D

Of course! That`s it! Why didn`t I think of it before?

RAGGED ROBIN recites Eskimo Nell while being deflowered on stage by the Sheriff (who obviously has to be someone of suave and subtle charm - like me). How soon can we have the first rehearsal?

Then we could do like the W.I. and make a bomb out of the video and the film rights

     Rehearsals start when the scripts are written
      with the dashing sheriff I will be smitten!
      With Alisha in charge of one and all
      Everyone's guarenteed to have a ball.
       At least about costumes we wont have to fret
       Or worry about our shirts getting wet
       We'll do a WI on the webcam
       I'll sing Jerusalem and you bring the Jam!!!  

Brilliant Robin!!...................think you've just got yourself a job.............keep that quill well-inked!!  ;)  ;D

     Before I sharpen my pen ready for fame
      I'd better learn to spell Alishka's name !!!

  .......... Sorry

(color=RichardHarris)Yo Hugh

I aint afraid of no chainsaw, phuh, they don't scare me with there us=dders and big eyes..oh no no no no..anyway I am a stunt tree, and if it was a valentines day  panto.. I'd be a "Cupid Stunt" tree :):):):)


 So maggies, doing the booze, I'll bring sum wardrobe groove wiv me.. now who is bringing the old crack coccaine? ::) :) :)

oZzY %)

The script writing has started, Scene 1 completed and Scene 2 started.  So that Lishka can start casting the result so far is:-

THE PANTO

Act 1:
Scene 1 â€" Opens on a woodland glad, in centre of which stands large tree (oZzY). A ring of village maidens dances around tree, taking it in turns to step forward and kiss the trunk while reciting couplets such as
                       “Wondrous tree so gnarled and old;
                        make my lover tall and bold”
and
                      â€œForest tree so strong and wise;
                      send me a husband with blue eyes” etc.

Suddenly all stop and look stage left. Chorus â€" “Here`s Reginald”
Enter Reginald (Note â€" Junior male lead; good looking etc) â€" Sings (to tune of Mary from the Dairy)
                      I`m in love with Dottie from the lottie;
                     and Dottie from the lottie loves me!
Chorus (village maidens) sing repeat (“He`s in love with … etc)

Loud cry of despair from offstage right, and on stumbles old crone (Note â€" careful casting here â€" Eric, perhaps) She cries “Stop your revels. The wicked Sheriff of Nottingham and his men have been to our village to collect the taxes.  They have destroyed Dorothy`s allotment and stolen all Reginald`s crops, and Dorothy is distraught with grief”
Chorus (maidens) dance round the old crone and sing in  unison
                      â€œDottie`s potty
                      `cos her lottie
                       suddenly is not so hot;
                       Reggie`s veggie`s
                       cut in wedges
                      â€" all gone in the Sheriff`s pot.”

Interrupted by brief roll on kettle drums as at that moment a handsome figure clad in red   falls out of tree and springs to his feet.
Chorus        
              â€œ`Tis or favourite friend Will Scarlet;
                  he will tell us what to do;
                  show us how to beat this varlet;
                  see he gets what is his due”
  
Will (Note: more careful casting here â€" must be young and handsome but not as much as Reggie)
 â€œI was asleep in this mighty oak (gives tree a resounding slap â€" wakes up oZzY, who groans) and I could not help overhearing these dreadful tidings.  There is but one thing for it â€" this is a case for Super Robin, the friend of all the downtrodden. Come, follow me”

Exit stage right followed by all singing (to the tune of Off to see the wizard)
      â€œWe`re off to see friend Robin;
       the hero of the play;
       we have no doubt:
       he`ll sort this out:
       the Sheriff`ll rue this day”

Scene closes â€" curtain!

Scene 2:

(To avoid having to move oZzY we use the same set, with the addition of a few grassy knolls for the merry men to lounge on).
Under the tree is a large cooking pot. Maid Marion (Note: probably be a fight for this part as she gets ravished on stage by the Sheriff)stands washing her panties in the pot and sings (any suitable tune):
          â€œI wash my panties in the pot;
          and then I make the soup;
           the fellers like the taste a lot;
           it knocks them for a loop”

At that moment enter stage left Will Scarlet followed by Reginald and village maidens who sing in chorus:
              â€œWe`ve come to see friend Robin;
               the saviour of the poor;
               he`ll recover for Reg
               his cherished veg,
               and help Dot grow some more”

Rope drops from tree, and Super Robin slides down to the stage

Bags I'm first to play Maid Marrion,Brilliant by the way Hugh

WOW !!!!

Hugh.....mega impressive!!

We have one to equal 'The Bard' amongst us!!  ;)  ;D

Oh Oh, who is to play Reg???!!! ;D  Do I get to be ravished?! :o And will I get me veges back in time for Christmas lunch?  ???
Very Good Hugh!!  More, More! Dottie P.

I take it after scene 2 everyone is thirsty and in need of refreshments?

No Ozzy,you are a tree.trees do not guzzle Strongbow,they drink water only.......oh alright then,just the one........... ;D ;D

The wine doth flow,the juice will go
and several bottles too.
But do remember, budding thespians,
We only have one loo.

We do not have a shed on tap,
A compost heap or bucket.
So when you wish to be excused
Please do not say...oh.....dear :-[ :-[ :-[

please Sir, please Sir...can I be Grassy Nell and have lots of young men lounging on me???


Lishka

PS Do you like my panto hair-do?

and I say...

"Oh Merry Men
Please tarry here
Disport yourselves upon
My troughs, my peaks,
My smooth, smooth plains,
(and most alluring bum..) "

Right! That's me fixed up then  ::)

I haven`t finished yet!

PANTO

ACT 1,

Scene2 (continues from previous script)

Super Robin (senior male lead â€" careful casting required -  must be handsome, debonair, suave, athletic, sexy - let`s face it, the only one fit to play this part is the idiot writing this rubbish)  dressed in Lincoln Green:-
      Here`s Will Scarlet, come to join us,
      And he`s brought some girls along
      And there`s Reggie and Dot`s mother
      Come to join our merry throng.
      So William strike a merry measure
      `pon your  tuneful Ukelele
      We shall have an evening`s pleasure
      We shall spend a few hours gaily

Will Scarlet shakes his head
      The Sheriff`s gone too far this time
      With what he`s done to poor young Dot
      And as this is your pantomime
      You must strike while the iron`s hot
      Robin you must stop your jesting
      Reggie here is on the rack
      So tonight we must go questing
      For to get his veggies back

Robin nods agreement. And gives loud blast on horn  (Note â€" have we GOT a horn?)
Merry men all stop lounging about on grassy knolls and pick up their bows and swords.

Robin:
      Come, men, we`ll make this Sheriff suffer,
      We`ll teach a lesson to this lout
      From now on he`ll find life much tougher
      Of that you shall have no doubt

Exit left stage, followed by merry men and Reginald leaving Maid Marion on stage with the village Maidens

As soon as they leave The Sheriff enters right stage (Note â€" very attractive part, male members of cast should draw lots)

Sheriff sniffs audibly and crosses stage to where Marion is still washing panties in cookpot. Sniffs pot, then dips ladle in and tastes.  This appears to inflame his passions (note: whoever plays the part should extemporise here for several minutes)  Village maidens emit loud cries of alarm and run off to find Robin, and the Sheriff seizes Marion and ravishes her, while Marion recites all 61 verses of Eskimo Nell (going to get that in somehow) (Note: Sheriff will need a bit of staying power to last the course - no good picking Tim)

As Marion`s recitation finishes there is a flash of lightning, and tree (oZzY) falls over onto Sheriff, pinning him to stage.

Robin and Merry Men re-enter, stage left

Robin:
   Ha! At last we`ve caught the blighter
   Now he`ll pay for all his deeds
   We shall make his purse much lighter
   AND he`ll buy Dot some more seeds
   So off we`ll go to Reggie`s village
   To see how best to make him pay
   We shall teach him not to pillage
   Will said he`d live to rue the day.

EXIT ALL

  Curtain descends

INTERVAL.  (Note: let oZzY out of fallen tree and refresh with several pints of Strongbow.  Drag tree off stage)

      

Psssst Hugh (I iz whispering I iz, and i Iz dead good at it)

dont forget the poison ivy witch, who seduces the tree wiv her gossamer charms and then I can play a BAD BAD NAUGHTY NAUGHTY tree, and start rubbing out lumberjacks.. well they started it :)....
Oh and I iz glad Lish iz the Grasy Nell. wuz worried there, cuz they require a lot of method
acting they do, and lish is dead good with the meths... as we thespoes say :):0

oh and another thing hugh
..... "drag tree of stage" well whats all this then? why oh why do you have to get a bloke to dress up as a lady tree off stage?  I'm the tree around here
and there will be no sneaking inlesser tree actors, remember hugh the audience aint daft... They will smell a rat a mile off
:):):):)

Itz dead good so far apart from that tree business which is al sorted now :)  


oZzY %)

Applause much applause and more applause ENCORE,ENCORE.

Fantastic Hugh 'Shakespear' !  Now, you had better start casting.   ;D

    Oh wonderfully done lyric Hugh Jones
      You are truly a poet right down to your bones
      The script what you wrote is beyond compare
       And for a part we have to prepare
      Principle boy I think for me
       Tradition dictates he's a she
       I could wear high-heeled boots
        then with bow and arrow shoot
        the evil sheriiff ,most unwise
        to mess with me while i slap my thighs!!
        As to who should play dashing Reg
        I say Admin Dan would fit the peg  

THE PANTO (contd)

ACT 2

Scene 1

The scene is Dorothy`s allotment in the village â€" a scene of desolation

Centre stage is a HUGE brussels sprout plant (this part has been especially written for oZzY as there are no trees in the lottie). Dorothy stands by the plant wringing her hands.

Dorothy:
       “Oh my poor lottie; all is gone
        Save this huge Brussels sprout      
        Alas he stands there all alone
        Because they couldn`t pull him out
        And my poor Reggie, where is he?
        I think he`s to the green wood fled
        Oh why ever did he flee
        I`d rather have him in my bed!”

(At this point oZzY leans over and wraps a consoling leaf around her shoulders while she weeps)

         “But hark! Who comes hither?”

Enter stage right Super Robin, leading the Sheriff on a rope and followed by the merry men, who are escorting a motley crowd of bedraggled soldiers, and Reginald, the village maidens and the old crone.
Robin:
      "We`re here to see that on this day
        The Sheriff should put right his wrong
        We met this other lot on the way
        And thought we`d bring them all along
        Your lottie they will now restore
        To what it was but yesterday
        And make it as it was before
        And nobody shall say us nay"

Friar Tuck: (Got to get him in somewhere!)

        â€œAye, set to work you villains all
        Get busy with those forks and rakes
        So put those plants back straight and tall
        And get it right for all your sakes”

The merry men hand out a selection of gardening tools to the soldiers
(NOTE: cast members please bring their own tools to save costs)

The Sheriff and the soldiers all pretend to be gardening and planting, while the village maidens pair off with the merry men and sit or lie on whatever bits of spare scenery the props department can provide. Two scantily clad village maidens make a beeline for oZzY and start picking his sprouts and stroking his stalk (You can interpret that in any way you like!). They eventually pull him up by the roots and take him behind the shed.
Reggie goes over to Dorothy and embraces her
(Duet):
Reggie:      "You should have known that I`d return"
Dorothy:      "How could I ever doubt you?"
Reggie:            "His lesson now the Sheriff will learn"
Dorothy:       "I just can`t live without you

KISS

Curtain


            

clap clap clapperdeeclap clap. BRAVO!!!!!! clap clap clap.

You are all fantastic! What a bunch of talented people are hiding in them there lotties!

THE PANTO (contd)


ACT 2

Scene 2

The scene is another angle of the forest glade (Act 1 Sc.2). oZzY`s tree is at the side (has to look like a different tree, obviously)  The cooking pot is in the middle with Maid Marion washing more panties.

Enter stage right Super Robin with all the merry men and the village maids.

Robin goes across to tree, and finds large arrow with a sheet of paper stuck on it. Pretends to read message

Robin:
              â€œNow we are back within our glade
               Our duty has been done
               There is but one thing to cast shade
               Upon our merry fun”

Chorus â€" all:
           “Tell us what that is, Super Robin”

Robin:
             “Prince John is on his way to see
              The Sheriff at Nottingham castle
              And I can`t help but think that we
              Are going to get some hassle
              He wants to steal the offering
              To which we all have paid
              As ransom for our noble King
              And it will be waylaid
              We cannot let this fearful pair
              Usurp our Monarch`s throne
              And we must save King Richard fair
              Before our work is done”

At that moment oZzY`s tree splits open and oZzY steps out. oZzY is clad in armour and wearing the cross of St. George on his breastplate
(NOTE: it may seem odd to have a republican Irishman playng King Richard, but this is done in the interests of p.c. and to prevent any difficulties with the Race Relations Board)

oZzY:
              â€œTis good to see, ye faithful band
                That there are those within this land
                Defenders of their Monarch true
                And now I can reveal to you
                That tho` of a tree I took the part
                I am King Richard Lionheart”

At this point all kneel. King Richard unsheathes his sword and taps Super Robin on shoulder

King: (it`s easier to type than oZzY all the time)

             “Arise Sir Super Robin, bold and fair
              And wed Marion â€" you`ll make a pair
              Your old lands back I will endow
              To you, so  friar wed them now”

Robin and Marion join hands and Friar Tuck produces a book and mumbles a bit.
Then everybody has a ladleful out of the stockpot and gets randy.  Robin takes Marion behind what`s left of the tree.  The two maidens who had played with oZzY`s Brussels sprouts re-appear and drag him off somewhere and everybody else has an orgy.

FINAL CURTAIN.

Curtain rises again, and all cast come on in various stages of undress and take bow
Loud cries of Author! Author! From the audience

CURTAIN descends again and everybody gets paralytic except oZzY and the two maidens, who can`t be found.
            

Brilliant Hugh just Brilliant

QuoteTHE PANTO (contd)

 and everybody else has an orgy.

Flapping my wings frantically.........in a frenzy............ of eager anticipation!!

I humbly bow my head in admiration .......... you are a true master

ooo haven't been to an orgy for ages!   :P

E.J. If all 387 members of this site - plus Dan - all turn up it`s going to be SOME orgy.  I think we shall have to restrict it to members of the cast, (and the author, of course), and that`s Lishka`s job as producer.

Wotz an Orgy? ::)

So Lish is producing then Hugh..explains why she wanted to be the grassy Nell... she can make sure we. soz not we, cuz I can include meself in the following statement,, you lot dont friar tuck the whole thing up :)  

Tell ya what Hugh, I have been laughing so much, that my belly hurt... cheers mate :)

oZzY %)

I just hope you like your part oZzY - so much better than  messing about with poison ivy (provided you keep your brussels sprouts intact).

..Great Goings, Hugh! Bravo!!! And making Oz King was Inspirational ;D ;D ;D - think we should do it for real...

Now then...me a Pensher AND a Producer??? Thought that the only lady allowed to make medical miracles happen round here at Xmas time, was Mary :o

 but emmm, you see, when I suggested Robin Hood, it was just a suggestion, is all  ;) .... script looks good (script is b. excellent actually)...but praps we might consider others as well....how about Ali Baba & the Forty Thieves (given lottie vandalism...and someone can play EJ's gate)...could even set it in Baghdad & be cutting-edge topical. And we could fire some thieves up to the moon with Turkish Wild Rocket, or something? Oh, and those bits of carpet you cover your lottie plots with?  Magical things can happen with them..)  

Let's see if you can come up with a plot...

PS can I still be Grassy Nell?? I don't mind being type-cast, at all!!! - Lish

actually, just reading that through, praps we could do a Panto and a Christmas Spectacular?? Lots going on in Ali Baba & Jethro will have fun catapulting peeps around...(I still want to be Grassy Nell, tho)

You bet i would  ;D you should see the size of my catapult  ;D  ;) .

Sorry Lishka, but writing that rubbish took me nearly six hours, and I now have Repetetive Strain Injury in my right shoulder, a stiff neck and `Monitor` eyes. Having to type this with one hand and use my mouse left handed.

However, the Board doesn`t seem to be in any way short of writing talent. Suggest you co-opt Ragged Robin and Maggie with yourself - you might even get Eric to write some of the straight bits (in Latin, of course).

I would suggest that oZzy invents the plot and plays the genie - it`s obvious that he has been cooped up in a lamp for several thousand years and the fumes have gone to his head, so no-one will know whether he`s acting or being his normal self.  Jethro should play Abanaazar, and for Emma Jane`s dilapidated gate you simply MUST cast Tim - not too much moving about for him, but plenty of creaking and groaning.

Can`t see much scope for grassy knolls in Ali Baba, but don`t forget - the magic carpet gets ridden on quite a lot.

Orgy?  
Only just noticed the whole Panto thang and feel well miffed that only cast members & producers get to have a rumble.
Maybe interval orgy for audience types would be appropriate, attendance would be quite fern-ominal.

Think Hugh is Ben Elton in disguise....

M xx

QuoteOrgy?  


Think Hugh is Ben Elton in disguise....

M xx

you mean a Panto Dame???

Lots of parts for everyone, but EVERYONE, MM...what do you fancy?? .... Or who do you fancy??? Can see that the Mighty Oak's gonna have an awful lot of springs of mistletoe cuddling up to his nooks & crannies  ::) ;D Lishka

Quote...and for Emma Jane`s dilapidated gate you simply MUST cast Tim - not too much moving about for him, but plenty of creaking and groaning...

Aha!! Tim's gonna do a lot of moving about, I think :-/ ...in fact, he, (like Oz), isn't gonna be off Stage at all during the Production?

I'm seeing it going like this...while Oz is centre-stage (or nearly always) in all the Scenes and pretty impressive, Ower Tim is the presence in the background...stage left to right...then right to left...then left to...(getting the picture?)...with a background constant hum...

It's the Elkman, you see, pushing his rotovator to and fro, to and fro, relentlessly

;D

PS Tim...large bottle of Sanatogen in the post...and for you Youngies, this was the Sovereign Specific  to 'fortify the over forties'...as Tim is twice that age, p'raps I'd better make that two bottles?  ;D ;D ;D - Lish

ELKMAN?. It`s a good job I`m not writing one about Ali Baba - I`d no sooner have finished it than she`d be demanding one with bloody elks in it, and maybe caribou and a moose or two (sorry, that`s Eskimo Nell again) and a heroine called `me darlin` Clementine`.  Always the same with these wenches - give `em the earth and they want the bloody moon, and a few stars thrown in as well

.... Poor Hugh, I've got this jar of lubrication
     Would it help to ease your increasing frustration?.......

Surely you don`t think I`m one of THEM!

(color=InCharacter)Yo peeps

If uz thinks I iz standing on stage all nite long.. then U hazanother thing coming :)  Talk about exploitation... you get a first class tree actor and waddya do?  blinking slave drivers ::)

Cant see any reasion why we cants have elks and witches and robots that have great big Twirley eyes that letz out this dead hot laser beam which hurts quite a lot,,, and maybe we could have su dinosaurs?

big bable alert

oZzY

an' magic mushrooms an' boxing tortoises an' a great big land crab called Sid who gives the baddies nasty nips when they disport themselves on Grassy Nell..

and can we have some jelly tots as well please? there are always 'little people' in magic forests.. :P

Yo Lish

I Like that :)

and instead of the little ones having a pot of gold... we'll just have the pot :)

Oh and a real rainbow... honstly.. when I wuz dead young.. I made a rainbow with sum water daylight and a mirror.. if I could only remeber how it wuz dun?  could try it wiv the stage lites, whic will be provided by envirolite :)

On a babble

oZzY %)

....... What are you two on?
 ..........................and can I have some please?

Yo robin

Yeah you can have sum.... but..... dont hog it :)

 oZzY



last edited by me at kwite late o'clock. spelt but wrong I did, dont normally edit. but hey why not?  cuz itz not ness Oz.... oh OK... i wont then,,, will.... wont..... will.... wont... wllwont..willwont wlll....wont :) but I might.. mightent... might...etc etc etc...eez I iz the king of siam now... %)


ozzy

Bumped to the top per request Lishka.

Thanks, Matey ;)

Right, everyone - there's the script...casting starts NOW ..

but,if the character you really, really want to play isn't here, doesn't matter, does it?  ;DWrite yourself a part in and get cracking on your costume . An if SIX of you, even, want the same part - no probs there either....unless you're thinkin of bein Grassy Nell, that is.. ;)

finally...like I said before, I've never been to a panto..that right that everything's spoken in rhyme? Just checkin..Lish

A Dutch cap mushroom
is my role?
So what I pray
must be my goal?

I don't half know
what panto is.
Much less a Dutch cap,
what is this?

I'll take my station
at the door.
Take coats and hats
and much, much more.

A dutch cap, Ina, is a somewhat proficient device for protecting the wearer from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.  As the pantomime is written there may well be quite a number of these flying about - particularly in the Finale - so the part is likely to be a rather a strenuous one.  I don`t think I should bother with the hats and coats if I were you.

"........a somewhat proficient device for protecting the wearer from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune."

Oh, a protective device huh?? Mmmmmmmmmm which part of my body do I need to cover with it? I think I'll stick to the garderobe, seems like a safer place to be, going by what happened to Hamlet and his father. Since I have a lot of trouble understanding all this flowery language and not knowing whether something is good or bad, I better stick with something simple.

Sorry Ina, but an olde worlde gentleman such as I has difficulty defining the object in question other than in the most circumlucatory fashion.  Would it help if I said that the popularity of the object as a protective device diminished as a result of the advent of The Pill, prior to which it was extremely popular among those ladies who did not fully trust the precautions taken by their gentlemen friends.

Hugh, are you trying to say anti conception device as in diaphragm? Can't be that hard to say, even for a gentleman from the olde world. So tell me please (preferably in words that have less than 6 syllables), Dutch cap is not a mushroom at all? Can't find it in any dictionary.

Tonight I plan to wear my wooden shoes and Dutch cap (the lacy type).

Ina, you`ve got it in one.  However, being an exceptionally olde worlde gentleman I only ever use the word diaphragm in connection with the inhalation and expulsion of air from the lungs - especially by the larger chested prima donnas of the opera world.

Wear the lacy version!

Ina
.....Well done I think you actually made Hugh blush...

..... Now perhaps we should get him to explain the menstrual cycle, or even double-digging........

 Can I have first pickings of the merry men please?

Menstrual cycle Robin?  Don`t think I`ve ever ridden one of those.  Does it have two wheels or three? NO, wait! I`ve got it now.  It`s the one that has a puncture every time you want to ride it.

HUGH!.......get back behind that bike shed immediately!!...




................we're missing you!  ;)

Hugh, your reply had me laugh out loud I should have known better than to mess with the master  ;D