Allotments 4 All

Girls......remember this guy??   ::)   ;)   ;D


On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.

One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"

For a moment there is silence. everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous! Tall, muscular, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:



 



"Iron this."

Ahahahahahaha!

Love it Di  :D :D :D

 ;D har har har har har.  so true!   ;D

Hi! I loved that one Diane!  ;D Here's me thinking it was going to be saucy-  had a great cackle at the end.  Thanks!  busy_lizzie   :D

LOL a lot

Excellent Di, but the average man would have probably taken off both his shirt and his trousers.

Take your point ;)  Hugh.........  ;D




.....but never his socks!!   ::)

That was great Di loved it. ;D
Teresa

What do  you call a man with half a brain? ???





                 .........GIFTED !!!!!.......

Good one Di  ;D

...... Just remember......
 The male is a domestic animal which, if treated kindly and with firmness, can be trained to do most things !!
 ::)  ::) ;D

Ha!!

Robin.........this could be the beginning of a very long thread!  ;D

Keep 'em coming..........any too rude for those a tad sensitive............you'll find me behind the bike shed!!......in fact...I've virtually moved in there!!  ::)  ;D

Hope that you are coming out for the Party and Panto .Call in on the way there for pre panto drinks Di I need a bit of advice on which pair of Wellies goes with my little strappy number.

O.K....bb........can I bring along this wonderful olde worlde gentleman I've met recently ?  ;)

You'll just love him bb.......the most amazing *****I've seen

...............................stored on a hard drive for a long time!! ;)

I want one!!!I want one!! Tell me more where are they.Iwant one!!!!

another for the girls......
 Men do not mature, they just grow taller!

And remember this, ladies.  If another woman steals your man your finest revenge is to let her keep him.

........As GBS once said
 "Every man over forty is a scoundrel"
..................explains alot.........

and here is...

A Woman's Prayer

Dear Lord, I pray for:

Wisdom, to understand a man
Love, to forgive him and
Patience for his moods
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death.

Encore!!.....Encore!!

bl**dy good, isn't it? My friend, Barb, in America, sends me some corkers - only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning is to see what her mails hold..


oh OK!..that, and my bladder :-[ - Lish