Allotments 4 All
General => The Shed => Topic started by: Mrs Ava on February 05, 2004, 14:40:25
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How to shower like a woman
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to whites and coloured.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups.
Get in shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide
loofah and pumicestone.
Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash hair again to make sure it is
clean.
Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced
with natural avocado oil, leave on hair for 15 minutes. Wash face with crushed apricot facial, scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger-nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower, spray mould spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover any exposed areas.
How to shower like a man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed. Leave in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way - shake thingy at her making woo-hoo sound.
Look at manly physique in the mirror. Admire size of
thingy and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower. Wash your face.
Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.
Fart and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt leaving those coarse hairs stuck on the soap.
Shampoo hair. Make shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of the shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on the floor. Admire thingy size in mirror again.
Leave shower door open, leave wet mat on the floor, leave light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake thingy at her and make woo-hoo noise again. Throw wet towel on bed.
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HeHeHe! ;D :D EJ this is so true!!! busy_lizzie
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superb!!! - printed out for husband
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so it's not only my fella who does this????
am here laughing my socks off ;D ;D ;D
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thats sexists that iz :)... tell ya ladies.. i spend hours in the bath....lurve it i does.......... niceyy lathery bubbles and aromatherapy oils..... even got a bath pillow..... and the bathroom has 4 candle sconces in it each sconce holds 5 tea candles..... so nice candlelit bathy for one with glass of red wine.......... and girls.... if i have to pee.......then I do so in an old jug...... seee i iz dead sophisticated loike.............. but if I need to pooo, then I gets out for reason of health and hygine ;) :D :D :D ::)...... if I needs a darn good old fashioned winky wonky winky wooo wonk.. then I make sure the bathroom locks on.... hate it when wife walks in during personal intimate moments..... ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
Oz
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oz
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