Allotments 4 All

Allotment Stuff => Swap Shop => Topic started by: carolinej on March 05, 2008, 15:33:04

Title: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 05, 2008, 15:33:04: Seeing as my pass the parcel has some interest. I though it only right to give it a name. I have called it the sunshine parcel because it sounds nice....no other reason.

I have sorted out the seeds and raided my seedstore too, so it is just about ready for the off. I will give it till after the weekend, incase anyone else wants to join in.

PM me if you want to give it a whirl :D Plenty of spaces left at the moment......dont get trampled in the rush ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on March 05, 2008, 16:52:01: A little bit of sunshine would be great ,images of Eric & Ernie.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 05, 2008, 17:33:35: My daughter and hubby walked back down the aisle to 'Bring me sunshine' ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: debjay on March 05, 2008, 17:36:46: I would like to join if possible :) will send you a pm now
Debs ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: RosieMcPosie on March 05, 2008, 17:43:35: i'd love to join please :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: ruud on March 05, 2008, 18:06:58: i will jump on the same train,p.m you btw
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 05, 2008, 20:30:35: Great! Things are picking up now.

I think I will limit it to about 15 people. I can always send it out again if there is enough demand.

I have 11 names now, so only another 4 and it will be on its way.

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 05, 2008, 20:40:44: 3 places left ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: alipally on March 05, 2008, 23:35:41: I have pm'd you, if there is any room left can I join please.

Many Thanks,
Ali
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 06, 2008, 07:15:53: alipally, you are in ;D

2 places left.

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: RobinOfTheHood on March 06, 2008, 07:35:50: Me too please. :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 06, 2008, 10:26:38: Only 1 place left now.

I wonder who it is going to be ::)

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: flowerofshona2007 on March 06, 2008, 17:58:11: CAn i join in to please :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 06, 2008, 21:50:34: OK flowerofshona. No problem.

Can you PM me with your addy please.

Well folks, that's it. All places full.

I will get the last few addresses soon, and then we will be ready for lift off ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on March 07, 2008, 07:32:28: It will be better than an
easter egg!
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 07, 2008, 10:40:19: OK. All the addresses are in now. I am hoping to get it posted today or tomorrow. ;D

As we have one person from Holland joining in, I will post it there first, so that no one ends up with a lot of postage to pay if he follows them. That will slow things up a bit, as it will take 3-5 days either way. After that, it should sail around the UK.

It will be good to keep the momentum of this parcel up, as if it slows down too much, people at the end may miss sowing dates. So I thought, as a VERY loose rule, could you try to get the parcel on its way within 48 hours of you recieving it. I know that wont always be possible, but do your best ;D

Well, I'm off to print up the address list now, and then it will be ready.

Oh, by the way, as is said in every pass the parcel, please do not use the list of addresses for anything else.

Sorry about the 'ruley' post, but these things have to be done. Now its all the fun bits ;D

A big thanks to everyone taking part!

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 07, 2008, 12:53:19: Well, ladies and gentlemen, the parcel is on its way.

;D ;D It's showtime! ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on March 07, 2008, 12:55:35: Cheers !
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 07, 2008, 13:23:09: WOOOHOOO ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on March 07, 2008, 13:47:11: Does the first person
post a clue as to whom is next?
Thanks again.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 07, 2008, 18:19:27: That would be good. It all adds to the fun of the parcel ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: ruud on March 08, 2008, 14:55:26: so it will be a dutch kick off,i am waiting for that big bamm on the doorstep.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 08, 2008, 15:30:37: Oh Ruud, for a minute I thought you were going to say the parcel had arrived already ;D

I hope it doesnt give the postie a hernia ;D ;D ;D

On a more serious note, I managed to get the weight down quite a bit by taking all the leaflets and plant tags out of the packets and cutting an inch off the bottoms of the packets which are cardboard.

Here's a little something to pass the time till the parcel arrives.

Unwritten rules of gardening ... by David Hobson, www.gardenhumour.com

The best way to garden is to put on a wide brimmed straw hat and some old clothes. And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink in the other, tell somebody else where to dig.

Compost is best aged a little like a fine wine. I mean, would you prefer to drink a nice 97, or something that was made last Thursday.

When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

Spring does not arrive until the ice is out of the compost heap.

Winter does not arrive until the ice is IN the compost. Until then, all bets are off.

Any self respecting rock will break at least one shovel before accepting its new home.

A good compost pile should get hot enough to poach an egg, but not so hot it would cook a lobster.

Gardening requires a lot of water most of it in the form of perspiration.

**************************************************************************

Feel free to post something amusing to keep our spirits up as the parcel crosses the waters ;D

cj
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 09, 2008, 16:17:56: Day 2. :-*

No news on the parcel yet. :( I hope this cheers you up. ;D

What do you get if you divide the circumference
of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin pi. ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 10, 2008, 19:46:07: Day 3.

Still no sign of the parcel. I hope its not stuck in the queue of ferries to leave Dover!!

If the wait is getting you down, read this. If its not, you may read this anyway ::)

Gardening's Better Than Sex

Here are the top reasons why gardening is better than sex:

#25 - Gardeners are not embarrassed explaining the birds and the bees to their kids.

#24 - If your regular gardening partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you garden with someone else.

#23 - It's absolutely acceptable to garden before you're married.

#22 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything against gardening.

#21 - You don't have to shower and shave before gardening.

#20 - You'll always be able to garden, no matter how old you are.

#19 - You'l never hear anyone say: "Is gardening all you ever think about?"

#18 - You don't have to hide your Gardening magazines.

#17 - Telling gardening jokes, and invite co-workers to garden with you is not considered workplace harassment.

#16 - Email with gardening content is not considered offensive material.

#15 - When you become famous, you don't have to worry about pictures and videotapes of you gardening being shown on the Internet.

#14 - Your gardening partner doesn't get upset about people you gardened with a long time ago.

#13 - It's perfectly respectable to enjoy gardening with a total stranger.

#12 - When you see a really good gardener, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you gardening together.

#11 - Every time you garden, you hope to produce fruit.

#10 - Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you garden by yourself.

#9 - When dealing with a gardening pro, you never have to wonder if they're really an undercover cop.

#8 - You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy gardening stuff.

#7 - You can have a gardening related calendar on your wall at the office.

#6 - There are no gardening-transmitted diseases.

#5 - No one objects if you watch the gardening channel on television.

#4 - Nobody expects you to garden with the same person your whole life.

#3 - Nobody expects you to give up gardening if your partner loses interest.

#2 - You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to enjoy your favorite activity.

#1 - Your partner will never say, "Not again? We just gardened last week! "

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Tin Shed on March 10, 2008, 19:48:48: And the garden never asks 'How was it for you?'
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 10, 2008, 19:52:02: ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 11, 2008, 20:25:10: Day 4. It's getting tough now. Minutes are turning into hours. Cant be long now ;D

How's this for a corny joke.

Did you hear about the gardener who sprayed herbicide on his herb garden?

He wound up just killing thyme!

Boom Boom!

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: ruud on March 11, 2008, 22:32:47: Just came home from work and quess what ,the neighbour(female0 came down thepath to the front door with a big lump on her back,oh nooo it was a hugh parcel see was carring on her back,she said the postman almost killed the cat with it ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D.Just serious the parcel crossed the pond safe.That will be a late going to bed time .Tomorrow it will be send back to the other side.Tomorrow i will tell you too whom it goes,have all night to think about a cryptic riddle.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 12, 2008, 01:06:38: Fantastic Ruud...............just love your accent too ;) :D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 12, 2008, 07:01:48: Day 5.

Great news that the parcel has arrived Ruud. ;D

I hope you find something you like in there ;D

Well, that's great news too for all you people who are being driven crazy by my corny jokes. Whenever there's news on the parcel, I will give you a day off from them. That should be encouragement enough to keep this parcel moving ;)

I know who's next on the list, but I'm not telling :-*

cj :)

by the way, Star, what are you doing up at that time of the morning :o? ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: ruud on March 12, 2008, 10:23:06: Parcel goes tomorrow with a special post pigeon to the other side of the pond,searching for a father and son.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 12, 2008, 11:49:22: Quote Caroline
[by the way star, what are you doing up at that time of the morning?]

I had to get up, there was a snoring contest going on between hubby and the dog >:(! And yes Im very tired today. :-\
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Twirlie on March 12, 2008, 17:40:30: Hi all Twirlie here! I am going on holiday this Saturday till Friday 22nd March, Just a week but if my name pops up before then can you please shuffle me down the list a bit PLEEEEEAAAASSE!!!!!!! I don't want to miss out and it is my Mums birthday treat! Actually she wants out the country so no one knows she will be eligable for a free bus pass!!! So of to Ireland for St. Patricks day!
I'll be back before you know it!
Thanks
Twirlie ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: manicscousers on March 12, 2008, 17:57:58: I'm not even in this parcel but I just love the jokes ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Dadnlad on March 12, 2008, 19:49:29: ooooooooh ! could it be us ? :-\

We always cross paths with the postie on the way to nursery, so we'll have to mug him tomorrow ;D
Or is that ilegal ? :o ;)

Dadnlad
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 12, 2008, 19:59:02: Not if its a nice mug of tea ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 12, 2008, 20:29:16: Ruud~ well done for such a fast turnaround :D

Star ~ I have the same problem with OH and dog ::) I sometimes take a sleeping bag into the living room to get some kip, but I can still hear them through the floorboards!!

Twirlie~ I think you will be ok where you are on the list, but I will keep an eye on things and let people know if they need to alter the order. Have a nice time over there ;D

Manics~ :-*

Dadnlad~ easy does it. It could be a few days crossing the pond. Dont beat the postie up if he hasnt got it tomorrow (it may not be you anyway ;)) ;D Illegal...yes. Understandable....yes. Dont worry, I will come to court to defend you on grounds of diminished responsibillity due to parcel mania!! ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: ruud on March 12, 2008, 22:48:58: Dadnlad watch the doorstep,by the way do you own a lifttruck.You probely need one ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Twirlie on March 12, 2008, 23:38:41: This is soooo c 8) 8)l!!!! I'm excited about my hols and then when I come back I have this to look forward too!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 13, 2008, 07:07:25: Twirlie, just out of interest, I clicked on the underlined link for "excited" in your post.

It says....

Dictionary
Definitions of 'excited'

excited (adj.) in an aroused state
excited (adj.) of persons : excessively affected by emotion

No wonder you used SO MANY smileys ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 13, 2008, 07:09:06: It isnt underlined any more. ??? Perhaps its because I already clicked on it. Wierd :-\

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on March 13, 2008, 09:37:16: Do you think we need a seed Czar ?
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: ruud on March 13, 2008, 10:17:01: parcel is on his way back .
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Twirlie on March 14, 2008, 01:49:41: Hi Caroline, I guess I just get emotional thinking I can't check email for a week but then have to over compensate and be really really happy and use lots of happy faces!!! Ok! So the words don't always read how the little voices say them ;) ??? :-\ ;D ;D ;Dreally like that one ;D ;D ;D ;) ;) ???
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 14, 2008, 16:11:23: Day 7.

No news on the parcel. You all know what this means. I am sorry but it has to be done ::)

Here's todays corny joke.

Q: How do you make an artichoke?

A: Strangle it

:-* :-* :-*

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on March 14, 2008, 17:25:44: Ideal jokes for make your own gardening Christmas crackers or' Carry on up the plot' starring Babs Windsor ( as in b .bean) I'll get my coat.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 14, 2008, 18:12:46: Gardening christmas crackers. Now there's a thought ;D

You could put gardening pressies in them. I bet you could tell which one has the small portion of chicken manure :P

mmmm, what else could you put in there? Paracetamol, a nail brush, small cartons of UHT milk for the shed ?

Any other suggestions?

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on March 14, 2008, 18:17:00: And by using loo inards for the body of the cracker ready made root trainer! should we patent this ?
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: manicscousers on March 14, 2008, 18:17:51: latex gloves..keep the jokes coming, caroline ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 14, 2008, 18:22:53: Quote
And by using loo inards for the body of the cracker ready made root trainer! should we patent this ?

I think we could be on to a real moneyspinner here ;D ;D ;D

Quote
latex gloves

Perhaps these should come with an Epipen ::) ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: laura G on March 14, 2008, 18:26:42: My mum found a box of gardening themed christmas crackers in a charity shop once, they each contained a small packet of seeds. ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on March 14, 2008, 18:35:40: Instead of a party hats, we could have those plastic rain hoods! off to Grace Bros-
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: flowerlady on March 14, 2008, 19:12:29: Well ... if you like innuendo try this .... ::) ;D :-[ ;D

http://www.saidwhat.co.uk/quotes/funny/gardening.php
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 14, 2008, 21:33:36: We could organise a round robin this christmas, but with a home made cracker, including silly joke,'root trainer', hat and home made gift. That would be different ::)

Flowerlady.....oooh, a girl could get all embarrassed reading those ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 15, 2008, 09:05:32: Sorry sspauk,

its too late now.

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Jeannine on March 15, 2008, 12:12:34: another post asking and advertising a business link
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 15, 2008, 18:47:44: Day 8.

Oh no! :o There is no news on the parcel. :( You all know what this means ;D ;D ;D.

Here we go.....................

Q: What is a vampire's favourite fruit?

A: A neck-tarine!

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 15, 2008, 19:20:07: Groan.............................................................................. ::)

Ok then if its a really bad joke you want.......cop this (most will have heard it)

Q. What do you call a man with a spade in his head?
A. Doug
Q. What do you call a man with no spade in his head?
A. Douglas

::) ;D ::)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 15, 2008, 19:34:13: ;D ;D ;D

Do you think cornyjokeitis is spreading to everyone who reads this thread :-*

cj
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 15, 2008, 19:36:07: Yes m'dear, look what you have done to us 8) ;D ;D ;D ;D

Good innit :D!!
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 15, 2008, 23:08:34: How can you tell if you have found an Irish woodworm?

Its dead in a brick
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Jeannine on March 15, 2008, 23:09:56: Oh stop it, my sides are hurting with laughter XX Jeannine
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 15, 2008, 23:12:04: Star,

I really think you have caught a bad dose of looneyitis from this thread. I am sorry, I didnt realise it was SO contagious ;D

Very funny, by the way ;D ;D ;D

Jeannine, stand back or you could be next :o ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Jeannine on March 15, 2008, 23:15:12: Go on I dare you
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 15, 2008, 23:20:49: Best not to dare us Jeannine, these sillysausage viruses can be easily sent down via your broadband connection.

Unlike normal computer viruses, they dont get better when you rerun the startup disc. Your memory is permanently etched with damaging tickleneurons. These affect the way your hypergigglethalmus operates, rendering you on your back with your legs waving in the air, laughing hysterically.(please refrain from forming a mental image of star and myself during one of these attacks!)

The only relief from it is when you manage to get up and post a silly joke on this thread.

Be afraid....be very afraid ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 15, 2008, 23:32:23: iTS THE GIGGLE PIN AND GREASY (caps lock!) nipple you gotta be careful of. Coz it might lead to a slipped dick ....er ....disc. Brake dick...er.....disc. i NEED MY COCOA!! ::)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Jeannine on March 15, 2008, 23:34:14: I am already laid on my back with my legs waving in the air, what's new trouble is I don't know any jokes XX Jeannine
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 15, 2008, 23:35:49: Quote
I am already laid on my back with my legs waving in the air, what's new

Early stages yet Jeannine, the hysterics dont seem to have kicked in ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Jeannine on March 15, 2008, 23:37:34: You wouldn't say that if you saw the rubber sheet I have been sitting on most of the night
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 15, 2008, 23:38:26: Well, i will count myself lucky that you dont have a webcam ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 15, 2008, 23:40:31: Quote
i NEED MY COCOA!!

Star,

pop the kettle on, we'll all be round for a cup in a few minutes ;D

I think I will go to bed now, as I cant handle all this excitement so late in the evening ::)

Nighty night :-*

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 15, 2008, 23:41:14: cAN i HAVE THE RUBBER SHEET BACK WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED WITH IT j? (Darned caps lock again) They dont make Tena lady like they used to :o
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 15, 2008, 23:42:24: Nitie nite Caroline xx
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Jeannine on March 15, 2008, 23:46:40: I have just popped a sleeping pill, I would never sleep tonight. I have to find some jokes,

Night and God Bless Caroline

and no Star you get your own rubber sheet, mine is a classic, from the fifties, bright orange, I should sell it on e bay XX Jeannine
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Jeannine on March 16, 2008, 11:30:55: You have crossed the line now.I ma reporting this
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: DenBee on March 16, 2008, 11:35:18: Quote from: sspauk on March 16, 2008, 11:27:21
maybe you should pop some more

I am honestly shocked at this post.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: springbok on March 16, 2008, 11:36:32: Quote from: sspauk on March 16, 2008, 11:27:21
maybe you should pop some more

Personally gobsmacked at this!!.

Lashing out doesnt solve anything does it. Keep digging, coz your hole is getting deeper!!!.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Jeannine on March 16, 2008, 11:42:19: I am so sorry she has broken into your sunshine thread, I feel responsible,sadly she is stalking me, she has moved here because I have had to lock my 2 swap threads.I didn't intend to answer her anymore but I could not ignore that remark. I hope Dan doesn't remove the thread though as they are super and it would be a real shame.

I am not going to answer her personally anymore. it is just fuel for her fire, but this is a very upsetting comment to read.I realised yeterday what the problem was with her and was prepared to ignore it beacuse of what I believe ,but that one had to be reported.

Sorry folks,

XX Jeannine
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: flowerofshona2007 on March 16, 2008, 12:51:50: Jeannine, remember what goes around comes around and i think her time has come !!
(((((hugs))))))) llets all just ignore her coments as though she doesnt exsist !
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Robert_Brenchley on March 16, 2008, 16:01:19: Best thing to do; she keeps telling us she's finished with us, then she does it all over again. It's obvious trolling. Pretend she's not there, and she'll have to go away.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 16, 2008, 20:29:06: Day 9.

I hope everyone is feeling ok after the events of yesterday on A4A :) :-*

There was no news on the parcel today. I would give you all a day off to rest your heads, but ..............nah ::)

So brace yourself.........

Knock, Knock
Who's there? Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and you'll find out.

;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Dadnlad on March 16, 2008, 20:41:21: No sign of a sunny parcel yet :'(, but weather due to perk up tomorra, have knitted 'the lad' a balaclava to prevent id :o, and we'll have the postie in our sights just before 9 o/c ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 16, 2008, 20:44:21: ;D ;D ;D ;D I do feel so sorry for the posties, they get mugged, ambushed eyed up in a frenzied manner. And they still come back to our houses. Are they on danger money? ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Jeannine on March 16, 2008, 20:56:39: ours is on a bike ::)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 16, 2008, 21:20:58: Speedy getaway!!

Here's another dreadful joke..................

Q. What goes in dry, comes out wet and gives real satisfaction?

A. A tea bag :D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 16, 2008, 22:12:05: ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 17, 2008, 20:16:06: Day 10.

Well, dadnlad, I assume that your postman mugging episode this morning came to nothing , as there is no news on the parcel.

Sooooooooooo, here we go again ;D

Q: What do chickens grow on?

A: Eggplants.

Yes, they are getting worse. ;D

Come on parcel, we need you to turn up, to put a stop to these awful jokes ???

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Dadnlad on March 17, 2008, 20:47:38: Grrrrr ....... nothing this morning >:(

There was a face off halfway to nursey..... the postie with his bag and Jamie on his Fireman Sam bike but no joy

Ever seen a postie frisked by 3 foot nothing 4year old ?...... not a pretty sight :o

Better luck tomorrow maybe ? But the postie knows were looking for him !

Hmmmm....... ambush ?
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 17, 2008, 23:15:43: Your postie will be off sick with a nervous breakdown if the parcel doesnt arrive soon ;D

Be gentle with him ::)

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 18, 2008, 19:45:43: Day 11.

Well, we can all assume that dadnlad's postie was assaulted needlessly again today ;D I can sense cabin fever setting in. We need this parcel soon ::)

Just to take your mind off it.....

(this one works better if you say it rather than read it........it's still not good, but better ::))

Q.How do you tell the difference between a cabbage and a caulli?

A. You cant walk a cabbage ;D ;D ;D

Oh, OK, its not the best. Just imagine how bad they are going to get if this parcel doesnt get its skates on :-X

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Dadnlad on March 19, 2008, 17:32:22: Wahooooooooooo ! ;D ;D ;D Its here !
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: ruud on March 19, 2008, 17:47:43: blimey that shouldnot take longer,had almost a nervous collapse.Have a nice time digging through all those goodies. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 19, 2008, 17:47:46: Day 12

;D Whoopie ;D

That's great news....especially for those who hate my jokes ;D

I hope you enjoy it, and find a few things you are interested in.

Please get it on its way soon, so that everyone will be spared my jokes . Remember..... no jokes when there is news of the parcel, either on its way to the post office or when it arrives safely with the next person.

Have fun!

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Dadnlad on March 19, 2008, 21:24:08: No parcel this morning - there were tears :'( :'( :'( as Jamie had the postie pinned to the wall

But picked it up from sorting office tonight on way home from work ;D ;D ;D

Have spent a couple of hours admiring the contents - lovely pile of seeds all over the kitchen table ;)

Have got the parcel taped up, and ready to go in the morning
We've taken loads of pinches out...... and put even more in, so not sure what the postage will be, but its heavy 8)

Well done Caroline (and Ruud), best parcel we've had since Christmas - certainly added some sunshine to our day ! ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 19, 2008, 22:10:03: Well, I think a clue is in order. Who's next?

The parcel is on its way to the man who made the car accessible to all, but without the 'n'. ;D

Happy guessing :-*

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on March 20, 2008, 08:51:21: After having a very senior moment and not being able to take the 'n' out of Gerald I think I have it! I shouldn't be let out alone.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 20, 2008, 15:07:44: ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Dadnlad on March 20, 2008, 17:09:00: Parcel away 1st class this afternoon 8)

Cheers again Caroline for organising this :-*
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 20, 2008, 18:10:04: Day 13

No problem, I'm having lots of fun watching its progress ;D

What a relief, no joke for today as there was news on the parcel ;D

Unfortunately, I dont think there is a delivery on Good Friday, so the soonest we can hope for a delivery is Saturday :( I hope the next recipient isnt 'hopping mad' ::) You know who you are ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: flowerlady on March 20, 2008, 19:11:41: Quote from: Dadnlad on March 20, 2008, 17:09:00
Parcel away 1st class this afternoon 8)

Cheers again Caroline for organising this :-*

........... ooo .... so where is it going then :D... just realised you are not far from me !!! ;) she said hopefully :P
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Dadnlad on March 20, 2008, 22:07:41: Flowerlady - you're right, not too far at all, in fact it would have been quicker for me to have delivered to you by hand ::).........

But sadly it's heading further afield :(
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 20, 2008, 22:07:49: This may help....

Quote
The parcel is on its way to the man who made the car accessible to all, but without the 'n'.

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 20, 2008, 22:09:27: I did wonder how close you two were. When I checked on AA route finder, it was about 30 mins drive, if I remember it right. So decided not to alter the running order, and let it wander a bit.

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on March 21, 2008, 10:22:41: Well if it is heading in my direction and arrives Saturday I shall make every effort to get back in the post sameday.
good clue cj ,that would explain why we are twinned with Detroit!
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 21, 2008, 19:18:11: Detroit, eh? Impressive. We're not twinned with anything :(

I hope the parcel gets there tomorrow for you. It will be great if everyone gets it in time to sow the seeds this season.

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 21, 2008, 19:54:12: Day 14.

No news on the parcel, so fasten your seatbelts, this could be rough!!

Q: How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
A: With a pumpkin patch!

;D ;D ;D

c :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on March 21, 2008, 20:12:48: When it is me I am ready for action, been through my drawers ,aiming for a very quick turn around.Cheers
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 21, 2008, 22:34:55: Go,go,go! ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Twirlie on March 22, 2008, 01:00:31: Hiya I'm Back!!! ;D ;D Yes twirlie and the smiley faces, had a fab time in Ireland beautiful country. Have to work though tomorrow so off to bed!
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 22, 2008, 07:16:09: Welcome back Twirlie. Glad you had a lovely time ;D

Any pics for us?

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on March 22, 2008, 09:55:36: It is here ,it is huge! not joking , off to post office to get a quote.I have just had a fab time really joyful and it's legal.
Thanks all.
Right now whose next?
Clue 1,(hard) I remember as a small child shopping at Clements.
Clue 2,(easier) a questionable river crossing.
Clue 3 (really easy) a rock star who loves cut flowers supports the local football team.
It has been great ,thanks c,j
Off to post office now.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 22, 2008, 10:06:18: Wow, that was fast :o :o

I am impressed. That has got to be a record breaking turnaround ;D ;D

I'm glad you enjoyed it and hope you got some goodies from it too ;D Legal, and non fattening ;D ;D ;D

Great clues. Now lets wait and see if they guess where its off to next.

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 23, 2008, 22:54:48: Day 16...just!!

Here are a few easter jokes to keep you groaning ;D

Why does the Easter bunny have a shiny nose? His powder puff is on the wrong end.

What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny!

Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world? It has four rabbits' feet

What do you get when you cross a bunny with an onion? A bunion

What did the bunny want to do when he grew up? Join the Hare Force.

What does a bunny use when it goes swimming? A hare-net.

How do you make a rabbit stew? Make it wait for three hours!

What did the grey rabbit say to the blue rabbit? Cheer up!

What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A hot cross bunny.

How do you post a bunny? Hare mail

How does the Easter Bunny say Happy Easter? Hoppy Easter

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 23, 2008, 22:59:37: Oh..............groaaan...................... ::)

Where did I put the paracetamol? :-\

Hehehe :-*
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 25, 2008, 06:54:11: Day 18.

Will there be any news today?

You'd better hope so, or I will be back with a joke later ;D :-*

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: flowerlady on March 25, 2008, 12:34:09: markfield you forgot Elton John!! ... and stinging insects ;D ;D ;D

.... guess what I found on the mat this morning! :-* Will be back in the post today! ;)

Sadly no cherry pie :'(

............................................................................ but lots of all sorts of others ;D ;D ;D

SO NO JOKES PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 8)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 25, 2008, 12:58:01: OK I will let you off today ;D

Have fun rummaging.

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: flowerlady on March 25, 2008, 15:07:08: Right ... all done ... it's back in the post off too a place ...............

traditionally known for its shoemaking and other leather related industries, a large market town and home of ‘the saints’ ;)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: flowerofshona2007 on March 25, 2008, 15:31:35: Southampton ????
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 25, 2008, 23:12:10: Try further north...........! 8)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: springbok on March 25, 2008, 23:13:15: those clues have thrown me too lol.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Twirlie on March 25, 2008, 23:28:46: Is it in Lancashire? Rochdale? That's where the shoe people were from!
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on March 26, 2008, 08:58:08: Northampton for shoes too! and Leicester.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: springbok on March 26, 2008, 09:02:38: Duh, didnt see flowerladies clues lol

Its Northampton.

Saints, and shoes!!! .. But then again most shoes were made in Rushden area of Northamptonshire, including doc martins!!! lol.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on March 26, 2008, 09:07:23: Used to get my Doc's at the Leicester Factory shop 2pairs £15 made abroad now , mind, daughter delighted I dont wear them any more.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 26, 2008, 09:23:39: Quote
2pairs £15

:o :o :o

Were they very cheap, or was that a long time ago? ::)

Quote
daughter delighted I dont wear them any more.

You'll have to tell me why now. You cant leave this thread on a cliff hanger ;D

By the way, I have noticed there is no news, but I am giving the postie a little longer :-*

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on March 26, 2008, 09:36:34: Hi cj
They were very cheap, and it was 10 years ago, Daughter thinks I should be wearing court shoes now. If she's not careful i'll put on those plastic overshoes my gran wore on wet days.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: flowerlady on March 26, 2008, 14:40:34: The parcel caught the 5 p.m. post so I would not expect it to appear before tomorrow ... where I live is known for awful post .... sorry :-[ :-[ :-[
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 26, 2008, 15:28:44: The is not as terrible as you think FL ;D ;D

It arrived today, good job hubby was at home I've been out all day and have just opened the treasure chest :o. Great PTP ;D ;D

Im going to browse through it with a leisurly cup of coffee and get it back in the post tomorrow morning.

The clue for the next drop............It has an 800-ish year old castle, and Pendle Hill can be seen from certain parts of the town ;)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 26, 2008, 20:39:45: Great news that the parcel has arrived.....especially for those of you who hate my jokes ;D

I hope you find plenty of temptation in there, Star ::) Enjoy!

This parcel is racing around. Thanks everyone so far for keeping things moving ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 26, 2008, 22:37:55: It has been a joy Caroline, I have only taken a few seeds out of packets and replaced with a selection of different stuff.

So yes there is still lots of variety on the way round guys ;D ;D ;D

(Your jokes are not as bad as mine :P)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 26, 2008, 22:45:11: Quote
(Your jokes are not as bad as mine )

Is that a challenge? ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: flowerlady on March 26, 2008, 22:49:51: Quote from: carolinej on March 26, 2008, 22:45:11
Quote
(Your jokes are not as bad as mine )

Is that a challenge? ;D ;D ;D

cj :)

Oh help !!! ;D ;D ;D

Glad the post behaved itself Star :D ... it's a brilliant parcel gang!! ;)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 26, 2008, 23:02:31: Quote from: carolinej on March 26, 2008, 22:45:11
Quote
(Your jokes are not as bad as mine )

Is that a challenge? ;D ;D ;D

cj :)

Never dare a fool Caroline...........who's going first ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 27, 2008, 07:49:33: Perhaps we should start a corny joke challenge thread, as the people on this one have been promised no jokes on a news day ;D

I'll go start one in the shed. See you there...pistols at dawn :-*

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 27, 2008, 07:55:38: OK. Deed done. Its here...

http://www.allotments4all.co.uk/smf/index.php/topic,40341.msg402381.html#msg402381

See you there ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 27, 2008, 20:10:06: It was posted today ;D

The next clue....................Jimmy's namesake :D

Be there in a minute Caroline, just finding me gloves 8) :D :D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Twirlie on March 27, 2008, 20:42:31: Wish I hadn't checked my messages first today, I normally come straight to this thread and check where the parcel is. boo!!! But Yeyy it's coming to Clitheroe!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D more smileys!!!!!!! Very acurate on the ish age on the Norman Keep I remember the 800yr celebration when I was little, and Pendle Hill which translated from the old English means Hill Hill Hill. It's a big hill! Only a few feet short of a mountain. ANd then of course Jimmy Clitheroe, our Market cafe is called Jimmy's. Well I look forward to the postie in the morning, that doesn't sound right does it! Excited ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 27, 2008, 21:43:40: Try to go easy on him Twirlie. Remember , he has a hard time delivering all the PTP packages. Some posties are off sick at the mo. with the stress of being attacked by over keen parcel swappers ::)

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 28, 2008, 18:41:16: Day 21.
Aaaargh! No news ::)

Here we go again!

Q: Why don’t eggs tell jokes?

A: They’d crack each other up!

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 28, 2008, 19:50:24: They probably wouldn't get the yoke ;D ;D ;D ::)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 28, 2008, 21:13:19: Au contraire, star! (notice the bit of french there ;D)

Chickens are the best when it comes to jokes. That's why we call them commedi-hens! ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 28, 2008, 21:30:41: Groaaaaaannnnnnnn........................................................ ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D (very good)

Did you hear about the bloke who went to a fancy dress party naked? He was asked what he came as, he said "A turtle".

The host then asked why he had his girlfriend on his back......"Thats not my girlfriend, thats me shell"
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 28, 2008, 21:42:04: Oh, that was awful ;D ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: ruud on March 28, 2008, 21:45:46: Do you know that joke about a highlander who came down the high lands once a year on his bike?
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 28, 2008, 22:35:23: Nope ???

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 28, 2008, 23:57:13: Do tell Ruud........I want to know now :D

Caroline......thanks :-* (they get worse ;D ;D)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: ruud on March 29, 2008, 00:58:29: okee star he went down the mountain on his bike did his job,buying yearly supplies.The last supply was a big bottle of whisky.He carried that bottle on his heart,between his sweater and jacket ,like a real highlander does.He then started his journey back on his bike up the mountain.Suddenly a car ,the poor highlander fall from his bike on the ground face down.He felt something wet on his body.The highlander look up to the sky and said: dear god i hope it is blood what i feel ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 29, 2008, 08:02:27: Very good ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 29, 2008, 11:24:38: Hahaha ;D ;D ;D ;D

Thanks Ruud ;)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: ruud on March 29, 2008, 19:43:30: It is brown and creeps up your leg?I warn you this is a nasty one. ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 29, 2008, 20:37:41: ??? ??? ???

No idea.

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Jeannine on March 29, 2008, 20:41:55: A loose bowel movement that is homesick
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 29, 2008, 21:01:08: Day 22.

Well, there are enough jokes here to keep you going for this 'no news' day ::)

Jeannine, that is yuckie :P ;D I dont know if it is the right answer, but if not, I hope it's not even worse :-X ;D

Come on Ruud, put us out of our misery.

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 29, 2008, 21:02:43: Jeanine :o!!!! Thats awful, so glad I dont have that illness :-X ;D

Ruud.....I hope its not too rude ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :P
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Jeannine on March 29, 2008, 21:02:49: Sorry it was bad of me but it is the only thing I could think of XX Jeannine

PS Can I put the lights back on now, I can't see the blooming clock in the dark
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 29, 2008, 21:05:17: Your forgiven.....it might be the answer!!

Cant see the clock? Eat more carrots, or you can bowow me specs 8) ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Jeannine on March 29, 2008, 21:07:26: It was blackout hour, it is past nine pm now LOL
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Twirlie on March 29, 2008, 21:59:05: I have it, I have it, I have it!!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D
WOW! This is an amazing package! I learnt a lot reading the packets too. Will be packing it all back up for Monday morning. Who's next!!!!!! I'll give you a clue later! Twirlie ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 29, 2008, 22:27:47: It is a good 'un ;D ;D ;D

Waiting for a clue now 8) :D, who is it going to be?

Dash it all though......no more jokes tonight (except in the shed!!)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Twirlie on March 29, 2008, 22:29:35: OK! There is a window that was replaced in the 80's and Blue Peter held a competition to design it! ( I really hope that I have the right place and my memory isn't playing tricks with me!) ??? I could do another clue later! ;)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: ruud on March 29, 2008, 22:37:17: Sorry i was watchinf football what else,but i saw the answer was already said by jeannine it is homesick sh.....t oh poe sorry ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Twirlie on March 29, 2008, 22:40:30: Me again, question now. There is a clear packet with some strange shaped seeds in, but the writing has rubbed of some and as they were so unusual I want to know what they are please. They are quite big and I think I can make out the first word as "Bird" ??? Cool, thanks ;D 8)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 29, 2008, 22:57:00: I had the same problem Twirlie........fess up whoever you are who put 'em in. I want to know as well, though its too late for me.

Im guessing its BIRD OF PARADISE? ???
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Jeannine on March 29, 2008, 23:57:47: So I got ruuds joke, I never thought for a minute it was right LOL

XX Jeannine
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 30, 2008, 08:32:35: Twirlie, I've no idea. I didnt put them in ???

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on March 30, 2008, 09:36:37: Those seeds before me too, but I think the second word was gourd.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Jeannine on March 30, 2008, 10:03:29: Bird house gourd perhaps? I can give you some info if you think it is that XX Jeannine
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Dadnlad on March 30, 2008, 15:28:35: They were in when we got it, so presume they were added by Ruud ?
We couldnt work out the name, so left them for someone more adventurous ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: debjay on March 30, 2008, 15:36:25: Is it coming to York Twirlie ?
Blue peter ran a competition to design some of the rose window ::)
Debbie
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 30, 2008, 15:43:06: Day 23.

Oh no! Never any news on a Sunday.

Pleeeeease let there be news tomorrow ;D

Just to keep you on your toes......

There was this guy who was eating out when this lady noticed a piece of corn in his ear. He pulled it out, then forgot about it and carried on. Then he found a chunk of carrot but he still continued oblivious to the world. Then he found a pea. The lady had enough exclaiming,

"Are you sick or something?"

"No but the last guy sat next to me was," came the reply.

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Twirlie on March 30, 2008, 19:00:58: Delightful ! I am just about to have my dinner!!!

YES It is coming to York! I will post in the morning. Hope you have as much fun as I did. ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on March 30, 2008, 19:06:49: It was nice that some of the seeds were 'home' saved , it bit special.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: debjay on March 31, 2008, 08:14:32: YIPEE cant wait. promise I wont mug the postie ::)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Twirlie on March 31, 2008, 16:16:47: Watch out.... warning all posties.....seed parcel on its way to York.........Beware crazy A4A member will be waiting on door step!!!!!!!!

Have a fab time, I know I did. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on March 31, 2008, 22:53:00: Day 24.

Package sent to the post office, so no joke today................ Was that a hurricane, or just all the sighs of relief ;D

If the parcel doesnt arrive tomorrow, I will be back with another joke ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on March 31, 2008, 22:59:26: :-\ Oh heck ::)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 01, 2008, 08:12:58: Day 25.

I know it's early, so dont worry , no joke .....yet ;D.

Just to let you all know that I am going to Bournemouth till Friday for a holiday, so I wont be around to keep an eye on things. I am sure I can rely on you all to keep posting awful jokes if there is no news.

Let's hope there has been no need for a bad joke till Friday anyway ;D ;D ;D The season is moving on, and the parcel still has a long way to go ::)

Anyway, you are all in charge now. I'll try to pop in about mid day before I go. See you all when I get back. I will get you all a cyber stick of rock ;D ( Especially good for you, if you are joining in the A4A diet......calorie free ;D)

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 01, 2008, 12:45:57: Well, no news, but its early yet. Be good while I am away. Oh and would someone run the duster over this thread to keep it ship shape till I get back. No wild parties while I am away and dont empty the freezer completely ;D

bye for now

cj 8)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on April 01, 2008, 13:14:34: Hope you get plenty of sunshine,we will be here when you get back.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: debjay on April 01, 2008, 14:17:24: IT'S HERE ;D Having fun looking through. I am posting it in the morning. Now for the clue ::)
ALIENS MAKE A CHOCOLATE BAR HERE ;D
Debbie
will try to think of another clue if necessary
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 01, 2008, 20:26:29: Galaxy ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Who lives out there I wonder? ???
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: debjay on April 02, 2008, 07:06:19: Another clue ;D
twinned with Montreuil, France (Since 1988) ;)
debbie
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: springbok on April 02, 2008, 07:59:29: Cheated and googled that clue lol. Thats Slough! :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: debjay on April 02, 2008, 08:01:50: CORRECT
the other clue "ALIENS MAKE A CHOCOLATE BAR HERE"
was because mars bars are made there lol
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: debjay on April 02, 2008, 09:14:36: WATCH OUT POSTIES its on its way again ;D
Have fun ;)
Debbie
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: RosieMcPosie on April 03, 2008, 14:14:33: oooooooooooh YAY :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: RosieMcPosie on April 04, 2008, 14:32:08: Soory Debjay, i must have been really dumb to not have realised after the first clue! but it was a huge surprise to get a call from mum to say 'the seed swap's here... can i open it?'
by the way... the answer was NO!
does anyone know what those funny seeds are yet? i've taken a couple... can't wait to see what they grow into!
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: debjay on April 04, 2008, 15:21:46: Dont know what they are but I planted 2 see what they come as :D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Twirlie on April 04, 2008, 16:27:37: Me too! It should be interesting! ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 04, 2008, 18:13:54: Me too ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 05, 2008, 07:47:39: Hello,

I'm back ;D Nice to know things ticked along nicely while I was away.

The question is, can Rosiemcposie get the parcel sent back out today, or will you all be subjected to another bad joke?

I'll give it a few hours for some news, then I will be back....mwah, ha, ha :-*

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: debjay on April 05, 2008, 08:53:15: Hope you had a great time Carolinej ;D
Debbie
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 05, 2008, 20:37:34: Thanks Debjay, it was lovely, sun sand and no kids ;D 8)

I bought an old sweets scales from the salvation army second hand store for £10. Didnt realise how big it was though ::) It looks nice in the kitchen. Only pounds and ounces, but I always use them anyway.

A bit of culture this time ;D

Confucius says, "Woman who cook carrots and peas in same pot, very unsanitary."

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 05, 2008, 21:12:46: hi there, glad you enjoyed your break :D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 07, 2008, 15:19:45: Day 31.

Boy it's quiet in here ;D Any news on the parcel?

Here's a huge dose of motivation to get some news posted ;D

What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!

What's an ig?
An eskimo's home without a loo!

What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!

Where do snowmen go to dance?
Snowballs!

How do snowmen travel around ?
By iceicle !

What sort of ball doesn't bounce ?
A snowball !

How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ?
You wake up wet !

What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark ?
Frost bite !

What do you call an Eskimo cow ?
An Eskimoo !

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 07, 2008, 17:11:30: Argh..........................'snow joke tha nose ;D ;D ;D

Hope you had a good rootle Rosie, do you have a clue for us? :D Im really good at guessing where its going next 8) ::)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 08, 2008, 18:46:38: Its all quiet again..... :(..........punishment time again ;D ;D ;D

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything you like he wont come!

Have you heard they made a new Irish parachute?
It opens on impact!

An English man, Scotsman and an Irishman walked into a bar, the barman said "Is this some kind of joke?"

If nuns live in a nunnery, where do monks live?

Any clues or news on the parcel? ;)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 09, 2008, 18:53:02: Have anyones strange seeds germinated yet? Mine are still asleep in the propagator ::)

Has anyone had the parcel after Rosie yet? ;)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 10, 2008, 11:22:43: Day 34.

Sorry about being away. Something came up.

Anyway, I'm back now. Thank you Star, for being a star and helping out with the jokes ;D

Where is the parcel ??? Rosiemcposie, is it still with you?

It has been quiet for days. Come on, lets get the momentum going again. The poor posties of Britain cant keep getting attacked like this. We need to give them a break and make sure everyone gets the parcel before the end of the month.

No joke.....yet. Come on, lets have some news to save everyone another bad joke ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: RosieMcPosie on April 10, 2008, 11:27:00: sorry peeps, not had acess for a few days. the parcel was posted yesterday though, it's on it's way to Isambard Kingdom Brunel's (slough link there!) chosen town for his great western railway works!
hmm....
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 10, 2008, 11:32:52: Thanks Rosie ;D You have saved everyone from another bad joke. Still, there's always tomorrow ;)

Come on then, lets get guessing. Where is it off to next?

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: RosieMcPosie on April 10, 2008, 16:19:08: hmm, i hope i've put the clue for the right place ???
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 10, 2008, 18:21:22: Quote
hmm, i hope i've put the clue for the right place

No idea ??? ;D Not very good with geography, me ::)

Will this help...

When you put your car on the point of a compass.

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 10, 2008, 18:46:50: Good to see you back Caroline, everyone will be so grateful to get away from my bad jokes lol ;D

Glad you are back online Rosie and its on its way again ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 10, 2008, 21:59:32: Quote
everyone will be so grateful to get away from my bad jokes lol

Oh I dont know. I thought the dog with no legs one was really good ;D ;D ;D

cj
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: debjay on April 11, 2008, 06:51:30: Portsmouth ?
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 11, 2008, 22:56:37: Day 35.

Oh dear, no news :'(

Not many guesses either. ::)

Brace yourselves :-*.....

CABBAGE:
Old King Cole was very fond of cabbage. He sent out a decree that from then on, whenever anyone ate cabbage, it must be shredded and mixed with mayonnaise and bits of carrots. This is known as Cole's Law... ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 12, 2008, 19:35:06: Maybe another clue? Im exceptionally good at these guessing games ::) but that one rather has me stumped ???
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 12, 2008, 20:56:41: Day 36.

You know the rules ::) Here we go ;D......

What is the best advice to give to worm?

Sleep late!

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 12, 2008, 20:58:41: Another clue for you Star, midway between Bristol and Reading. Exactly....aparently ::)

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: RobinOfTheHood on April 12, 2008, 21:42:47: Can I just say that I'll be away until Monday 21st April, so don't waste time sending it to me next week (if I happen to be that close on the list, that is). :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: debjay on April 13, 2008, 16:38:52: Swindon ? ;)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 13, 2008, 21:02:38: mmmmm....now who lives in Swindon? ::)

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 13, 2008, 21:58:31: Day 37.

A long day with no news. Ah well, you know what comes next.........

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

Lettuce

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in and you'll find out.

Oh I hope we get some news on the parcel tomorrow ::)

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 13, 2008, 22:00:30: I think they're asleep in Swindon ::)

WAKE UP........POSTIE'S COMING!!!!! ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 14, 2008, 09:04:05: Day 38.

Good news. Checked by PM and the parcel has already arrived in Swindon ;D

It is getting posted out tomorrow to someone at a place where there are 2 mouths forming a name ::)

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 14, 2008, 19:10:39: Portsmouthmouth, Bournemouthmouth,

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

???
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 14, 2008, 21:13:28: Star......nono and nono. ;D ;D

It's awful quiet in here. How about a quick head count of those following this thread. That way, we will know if giving clues is still needed.

So, I'll start.

1. cj ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: manicscousers on April 14, 2008, 21:15:41: do I count, I'm following it for the corny jokes, really miss it if the parcel arrives ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Twirlie on April 14, 2008, 21:46:53: I like the jokes too! I always read when I can even if I don't post! My brussels have started to grow in little green house!! Also chard,cauli and sunflowers! all from the swap! Ooh! nearly forgot the beans! I took some of the purple violettas and borlotti! Very limited choice without tinternet and I'm too chicken to buy online! So thankyou all. ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 14, 2008, 22:02:39: Of course you count, Manics ;D

Well, that's 3 of us. I know there are at least 2 others, so come on, confess ;D

Glad your seeds are growing well, twirlie ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: springbok on April 14, 2008, 23:07:18: i read it everyday too :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: debjay on April 15, 2008, 08:15:55: I still read the thread to see if people are still having fun ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on April 15, 2008, 09:28:22: me too, I want to know about the scary gourd seeds ,didnt take any but curious. The hollyhocks are up and there were a couple of toms that I have sown but know nothing about nor does google, Deviz and Dokhodny! I will save seed if any of you want to put some tension into your lives.
Twirlie re: beans, are you in the bean swap?
Does the parcel go around again or do we donate it to The Christmas Cracker Joke writers fund ?
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 15, 2008, 16:33:31: Oooh........talking of strange seeds, One of mine has germinated ;D ;D. I took 2 out to see what they were, I think Jeanine said something about bids nest gourd or something like that. It will be interesting.

I love the jokes too Caroline and the clues, which I am so good at guessing ::) ::)

Trouble is with work and allotments/gardens to tend i guess its difficult for everyone to get online every day
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 15, 2008, 21:00:11: Day 39.

Quote
Does the parcel go around again or do we donate it to The Christmas Cracker Joke writers fund ?

;D ;D ;D

No news is bad news here folks ;D Here we go again....

A hat trick of jokes for you ;)

Q) Why aren't bananas ever lonely?

A) Because they come in bunches!

Q) What do you get when you cross a potato with an onion?

A) A potato with watery eyes!

Q) What do you get when you cross a tree with a genius?

A) Albert Pinestein!

Till tomorrow........ :-*

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: manicscousers on April 15, 2008, 21:10:23: love the watery eyes one ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 15, 2008, 22:13:42: Why, thank ye kindly, Manics ::) I aim to please ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 16, 2008, 20:27:15: Day 40.

Oh no. I am running out of jokes. Scraping the bottom of the barrel now.................What do you mean , you thought I already was?!? :o ;D

What sort of snadwich is green and bouncy?

A frog sandwich ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: ruud on April 17, 2008, 20:14:11: What do you get when you cross an elefant with a mouse? No any one ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? Very big holes in your cheese ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 17, 2008, 20:58:04: ;D ;D ;D

Very good!

Day 41.

As you can see, ruud has provided the corny joke for today ;D

I hope someone else will help me out with tomorrows joke too. There are only so many jokes a head can hold ::) (well, mine anyway ;D)

Not much sunshine here is S wales today. It's FREEZING! The breezes they forecast have turned into gales.

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on April 18, 2008, 08:36:16: Your doing brilliant cj you can do it!You can.
Todays joke is me doing the house work,the children used to ask me who was coming if I had hoover in hand.
Could sow something first.......
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 18, 2008, 09:38:37: Quote
Todays joke is me doing the house work,the children used to ask me who was coming if I had hoover in hand.

;D ;D ;D

Quote
Could sow something first.......

Best to sow something indoors today, or you and the seeds will get blown away!!!!

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Twirlie on April 18, 2008, 20:27:54: No I'm not in the bean swap, I have plenty and won't have room to plant any more this year. Plus the ones I have enough of to swap are bog standard runner beans!!!!! Not to diss runner beans though! I bought them cause I like them! Just not unusual!
Know what you mean about the wind today, got my sheepskin back out it was freezing. Hope its warmer tomorrow, I'm on the market all day. Fingers crossed its like Thursday, it was so sunny I even took my coat off! Got a little worried today as I put my broad beans in on Wednesday! My poor little babies out in the cold!
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 18, 2008, 22:09:13: Day 42.

For those of you who have been using lots of brainpower on the clues, the last one was Tyne and WEAR, where both rivers have their mouths (according to google ::))

Still no parcel news so.....

What colour is a red house?

Red.

What colour is a blue house?

Blue.

What colour is a white house?

White.

What colour is a green house?

................... ;D

Could anyone else smell the much spreading in Europe? Smelled like a sewer had gone here :-X

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 19, 2008, 22:22:34: Day 43.

Ah well, another quiet day in here. I will have to do it........

High Above Fifth Ave. and 34th Street

Two men were drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. One
turns to the other and says, "You know, last week I discovered that if you
jump from the top of this building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor,
the winds around the building are so intense that they carry you around the
building and back into the window."

The bartender overhears this and just shakes his head in disapproval while
wiping down the bar.

The second man says, "What, are you a nut? There is no way in hell that
could happen!"

The first man says, "No, it's true. Let me prove it to you." He gets up from
the bar, jumps over the balcony, and careens toward the street below.

When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him around the building
and back into the 10th floor window where he takes the elevator back up to
the bar.

The second man says, "You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but that must
have been a one-time fluke."

The first man says, "No, it isn't. I'll prove it again!" And again he jumps
and hurtles toward the street where the 10th floor wind gently carries him
around the building and into the window. Once upstairs he urges his fellow
drinker to try it.

The second man says, "Well, what the hell, it works, I'll try it." He jumps
over the balcony, plunges downward,
and passes the 14th..13th...12th..11th...
10th...
9th....
8th...
7th...
6th....
5th...
4th...
3rd...
2nd....
1st....
And hits the sidewalk with a splat!!

Back upstairs, the bartender turns to the other drinker and says,"You Know,
Superman. you're really nasty when you get drunk.

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 19, 2008, 23:43:42: OUCH!! ;D ;D ;D ;D

No news again? Does anyone know where the parcel is? ???

C'mon folks, Caroline has gone to a lot of trouble organising this PTP. It would be nice to keep it moving or some feedback at least :-\
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 20, 2008, 07:55:24: I think it is on its way to 'toms lottie' in Tyne and Wear. I pm'd him and it hadnt arrived, so its just a waiting game now :( I hope it isnt lost.

Maybe Tom will make contact later, or I will be back with another groaner ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 20, 2008, 22:21:12: Day 44.

Dont blame me ;D ;D ;D

Q: What is square and green?

A: A lemon in disguise

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 21, 2008, 20:08:42: Great news about the parcel ;D

You have saved the day! No jokes for a whole 24 hours ::) (unless Star sneaks one in ;))

I used to live where it is going next. But I'm not saying anything till Tom's clue is solved :-X

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 21, 2008, 21:19:08: Hmmmm.....I might pm Tom, I got a clue right the other day on his swop. Im still getting over the shock lol ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 21, 2008, 21:38:23: Quote
Will Post Clue Late

Was waiting for you , Tom. Or would you like me to do one?

Quote
I got a clue right the other day

Practice makes perfect ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 22, 2008, 01:32:40: What's black, white and red all over?
A nun falling downstairs!

What goes "Now you see, me now you dont?"
A zebra on a pelican crossing!

What do zebras have that no other animal has?
Baby zebras!
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 22, 2008, 20:31:04: Day 46.

Star, I knew you wouldnt be able to resist ;D ;D ;D

Well, no news and no clue so, first a clue.......

Officially the Uk's happiest town ;D with lots of squirrels to feed in the park and nurse sharks on the seafront :o

And now for the joke.....

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........After Mr. and Mrs.
Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany
her on her trips to Wal-Mart.Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was
like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get
in and get out.Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like
most women--she loved to browse.
One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has
been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
tolerate this behaviour and may be forced to ban both of you
from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are
listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly
put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off
at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right
away.'
4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to
put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
5.September 14: Moved a
'CAUTION - WET FLOOR'sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department.
7. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used
it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
9. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
11. December 6: In the auto department,he practiced his
'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed
'OH NO!IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's
no toilet paper in here!

'Regards,Wal-Mart

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: debster on April 22, 2008, 20:36:41: me thinks Bournemouth
:)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 22, 2008, 20:51:08: Methinks you could be right ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 22, 2008, 22:04:53: Hey I was right 2 pages ago though :P ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 23, 2008, 20:41:34: Day 47.

Quote
Hey I was right 2 pages ago though

Ok then, give yourself a gold star ;D

No news again , so .....

A new wine has been invented for seniors.

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as

PINO MORE

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 23, 2008, 23:39:57: Hooo Noooooooooo thats really awfully good/bad.

It made me chuckle ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: flowerofshona2007 on April 24, 2008, 20:16:03: I thought about being really mean and keep quite a few days so you suffer a few more jokes ;D but i decided enough pain was being inflicted ;D
It arrived this afternoon and i have rummaged and it will be on its way tomorow morning.

Clue ????

One of the "Gateways" to the Cotswolds ??
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: gunnerbee on April 24, 2008, 20:53:14: Hey is it me :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 24, 2008, 21:32:50: Day 48.

flowerofshona2007, thanks for the fast turnaround ;D

Are you inferring that my jokes are less than hysterical? I know of many people who have been driven hysterical by my joke telling ;D

gunnerbee...........you wouldnt really want us to tell you, would you? ::)

Oh ok then, its you ;D Keep pan eye out fo rthe postie. Be gentle with him ::)

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: gunnerbee on April 24, 2008, 21:37:58: ohh great, My Rottweiler is at the ready for the postman!!
thank-you,
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 24, 2008, 23:59:29: What do you get if you cross a Rottie with a Retriever?

A dog that bits the arm off the postie and brings it back to you ::)

Handy that....... no 'arm in it........ all 'armless fun.........................Ive got me coat........slinks away :-\
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 25, 2008, 07:01:15: Oooo err! You seem to be getting as bad as me, star ;D ;D ;D

What are you doing up at midnight anyway? You naughty girl :o ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 25, 2008, 22:30:51: ;D ;D ;D I like to garden at night, I'm a night rake ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: springbok on April 25, 2008, 22:34:07: Quote from: star on April 25, 2008, 22:30:51
;D ;D ;D I like to garden at night, I'm a night rake ::) ::) ::)

Star you must be really into lunar planting then ;)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 25, 2008, 23:31:10: Day 49.

Well, we now know that the faint glow we all see in the sky is Star's cap lamp as she gardens at midnight ;D

No news is bad news.....here we go again ;D

The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise.
"You need to make sure this dog runs around," the doctor said.

"Try playing a game of fetch with him."

"I can’t play fetch with my dog," the blonde said. "Why not?" the doctor asked.

"Because," she replied, "He can’t throw."

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 26, 2008, 22:25:26: Day 50.

Half a century of days since the parcel left home!

No news, prepare for your fate.....

There were 3 strips of tarmac, 2 black and 1 green.

The one black strip said to the other black strip, 'Stay away from him, he's a cyclepath!'

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: gunnerbee on April 26, 2008, 22:44:15: It didnt come, i thought it would be here this morning and id have something to amuse me over the weekend! hopefully it will be here on monday.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 27, 2008, 22:35:25: Day 51.

As its Sunday and there's no post, I can hear you all begging for leniency. I have considered your requests, and have decided I will still post a joke. Lets hope the parcel arrives tomorrow ;D

A man is watching television, when he hears a knock on the door. He goes to the door, opens it and sees a snail. He picks up the snail, throws it as far as he can, and slams the door.

Three years later, he hears a knock on the door. When he opens the door, the snail looks up and says: "What was all that about?"

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on April 28, 2008, 08:31:31: Is it nearly home yet? you deserve a medal Cj .
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 28, 2008, 10:15:45: ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D @ Caroline
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 28, 2008, 20:33:07: Day 52.

Aaargh!!! Still no news :'( I am running out of jokes ;D

Give this a go , if you dare!! ;D ;D

Sanity Test.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what is the criteria which defines a patient to be institutionalized. "Well" said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him/her to empty the bathtub."

OK, here's your test.

1. Would you use the teaspoon?

2. Would you use the teacup?

3. Would you use the bucket?

"Oh, I understand" said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or teacup."

"No" said the Director, "a normal person would pull out the plug." Do you want a room with or without a view?

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: gunnerbee on April 28, 2008, 22:07:41: still not here :( :( :( :(

whoah stop wait a minute mr postman
please please please please mr postman!!
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: gunnerbee on April 29, 2008, 16:34:28: not here again this morning!

what do cows do at the weekends?

go to the moo..vies!!
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 29, 2008, 17:40:05: Day 53.

Oh no, gunnerbee has caught jokeitis from the thread too now! Maybe it needs a Government Health Warning. Good news though, as it gives me a day off ;D

Till tomorrow.............................

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: gunnerbee on April 30, 2008, 20:09:11: Still not here :P :P :P :P

Sorry cj you are better at jokes than me, ill leave it to you!!
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 30, 2008, 20:16:29: Oh dear Gunnerbee, hopefully it will get to you soon.

What's wrong with your jokes I think they are good, better than mine!! ;D ;D ;)

An old man was seen with a cabbage on a piece of string, when he was asked why he was dragging a cabbage behind him. He said "I thought it was a collie" ::)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on April 30, 2008, 21:43:38: Oh noooooooooooo! Still no parcel! I hope it's not lost :o

Just to keep your spirits up (or down).....

A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After approximately 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about eight times.

At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they do not eat the peanuts themselves, whereupon she replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth, they are not able to chew them.

"Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled, whereupon the old lady answers, "We just love the chocolate around them."

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on April 30, 2008, 23:30:30: :-X :-X :-X :-X EEEEUUUUWWWW................................. ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 01, 2008, 22:19:27: Day 55.

Where is the parcel ??? I hope the postie gets his skates on ;D I dont know how many more jokes this thread can take ;D ;D ;D

A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a rabbi are discussing what they would like people to say after they die and their bodies are on display in open caskets.

The Catholic priest: "I would like someone to say 'He was a righteous man, an honest man, and very generous'."

The Protestant minister: "I would like someone to say 'He was very kind and fair, and he was very good to his parishioners'."

The rabbi: "I would want someone to say 'Look, he's moving'."

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: flowerofshona2007 on May 02, 2008, 09:22:04: Im worried now :'(
I have the postal reciept so if its not there soon i will go attack the postmaster
>:(
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: gunnerbee on May 02, 2008, 15:27:04: YAY Its here!! just got in and its on the doorstep!! i will send it on monday now as im it wont get there over the weekend!!
so im going to spend a ROMANTIC WEEKEND IN WITH MY PACKAGE!!
thanks alot!
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: froglets on May 02, 2008, 15:32:05: Thank Heavens, I'm not even in this swap & I was starting to worry :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: gunnerbee on May 02, 2008, 15:36:37: Panic over!!
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: flowerofshona2007 on May 02, 2008, 16:56:05: Phew !! my tummy was in a knot over it :-[
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on May 02, 2008, 21:13:48: YAY..............(http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn200/northamptonpagans/cheer22or.gif)(http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn200/northamptonpagans/cheer22or.gif)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 02, 2008, 22:12:19: Day 56.

At last! Phew ::)

It is really good news that it has arrived ;D

Soooooo, day off the jokes today. BUT........I'll be back tomorrow, mwa ha ha ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 03, 2008, 22:10:33: Day 57.

I think a clue is in order ;D

The parcel is off to 'The Tarn' next. This place was mentioned briefly in 'The road to Wiggan pier'.

Come on Star, I know you can get it ;D ;D ;D

cj :)

Oh, I almost forgot (and if you believe that, you will believe anything ;D ;D ;D)

A kindergarten teacher was walking around observing her classroom of children while they were drawing pictures. As she got to one girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on May 03, 2008, 22:42:36: Thank you for your confidence in me Caroline, but I do think I ought to give someone else a chance :-\.

Its not fair that I hog the limelight. Its not that I dont know the answer or anything ::) 8) :D

Love the joke..... ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 04, 2008, 22:10:23: Day 58.

Star, your modesty overwhelms me ;D

Here we go again......

A little boy had just got home from Sunday School and mom was cooking lunch. "Mommy, is it true that before you're born you're just dust and after you die you go back to being dust?"

"That's right son, why?"

"Well that's just what they said at church today."

"Run up stairs and wash your hands son, lunch will be ready in a few minutes."

About 10 minutes went by and she called out for him to come down. "I'll be there in a minute." As they were about to sit down at the table, the little boy asked again about being dust before being born and after you die. Once again mother said yes son.

The little boy looked at her and said, then you better get up to my room pretty quick, because something under my bed is either coming or going!!

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 05, 2008, 20:28:26: Day 59.

No news (as expected on a bank holiday ;D), so I think I will treat you all to a nice little joke ::)

A teacher asked the children in her Sunday School class, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?"

"NO!" the children all answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"

Again, the answer was "NO!"

"Well," she continued, "then how can I get to heaven?"

In the back of the room, a five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: debjay on May 06, 2008, 07:09:36: Love that joke caroline ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Debbie
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 06, 2008, 21:52:37: Day 60.

Thanks debjay ;D

Well no parcel, and no guesses at the clue. I will give you a clue to the forum name of the next recipient.........

This mans mates drink far too much for my liking ::)

Todays groan....I mean joke!

An attendant on a cross-country flight nervously announced: "I don't know how this happened, but we have 103 passengers aboard and only 40 dinners."

When the passengers' muttering had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up his meal so someone else can eat will receive free drinks for the length of the flight."

Her next announcement came an hour later.

"If anyone wants to change his mind, we still have 29 dinners available!"

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 07, 2008, 20:29:17: Day 61.

No news is baaaad news!!!! Here's another joke.

Lipstick at School

According to a news report, a certain private school recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on May 07, 2008, 22:27:34: Is it Baaaa?
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 07, 2008, 22:37:12: Sorry Star, I am completely confused now. ??? Is what 'baaa'?

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on May 08, 2008, 12:41:43: Have you seen how many times this thread has been read ? I think you have a following CJ
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 08, 2008, 21:16:27: Day 62.

Quote
Have you seen how many times this thread has been read ?

Must be all the tension generated by the saga of 'will it or wont it arrive today'. Better than Eastenders ;D ;D ;D

I think I have excelled myself tonight. This has got to be the corniest joke yet ::)

A man went to visit his doctor. "Doctor, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?" the man pleads.

The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. "Hello Doctor," says the arm. "Could you lend me twenty pounds please? I'm desperate."

The doctor says, "Aha! I see the problem.

Your arm is broke!"

I can hear the groans from here ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: ruud on May 08, 2008, 23:14:01: I have got a joke,maybe a little tricky in telling him but i can always give my 10 year old son the blame because he told him too me after supper today.Here we go; a dutchman,a belgian and a homosexuel are standing before petrus on the gate to heaven.Petrus said;i will give all three of you a second chance in life considering that you are too young to die.You dutchman will never pick up any money from the street.Belgian you will never eat chips again and you homosexuel will never love any man or having sex with a man no more.After this they were send back to earth.All three landed in amsterdam walking the mainstreet the belgian saw a fish and chips shop only one he thought.He put the chips in his mouth and zip he was gone,leaving the dutch and the homo behind.Those two walked further,than the dutchman saw a coin laying on the street,he bend to pick it up and ZIP ZIP. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 09, 2008, 12:07:18: Day 63.

No news, but I will have to leave a joke anyway, as I am off to Horsham, for a memorial service for a friend tomorrow.

Ruud, very funny ;D

*****************************************************************************

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favourite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's self-rising, isn't it?

The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.
*******************************************************************************
See you tomorrow ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: ruud on May 09, 2008, 14:06:54: Carolinej,here in holland you have to finish what you have started,so......... ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: gunnerbee on May 09, 2008, 18:16:26: parcel was sent this morning sorry for he delay! i pulled a muscle in my leg and have been hobbling about all week, got to post this morning, hopefully will be ther tomorrow, thank-you some lovely things in there too!!
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: gunnerbee on May 09, 2008, 18:18:32: Sorry , but the clue to the next person. They were once linked with Clannad?
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: RobinOfTheHood on May 09, 2008, 21:47:21: Bono! ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: RobinOfTheHood on May 11, 2008, 08:23:56: It's here, I got it yesterday morning.
Very impressed with the range of seeds within, might have to give Francchi seeds a try next year judging by the amounts within their packets.
Will have a look today and get it back out tomorrow. :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 11, 2008, 12:11:20: Day 65.

Sorry didnt get round to posting yesterday. It was a VERY long day. All the driving, having been subjected to more Morris Dancers than is healthy for a person of my age ::)

Good to hear the parcel has arrived ;D That gives you all another joke free day.

Enjoy the sunshine 8)

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: RobinOfTheHood on May 12, 2008, 19:44:27: Spare the jokes, it's on it's way! :)

CLUE:

............. and the Wheelies. Nearly. ;)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: manicscousers on May 12, 2008, 20:12:35: I'll name that programme in 1, showing my age, used to love the witch, 'little old lady'
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 12, 2008, 21:02:40: Quote
Spare the jokes, it's on it's way!

Oh go on then. But dont relax too much....I'll be back ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 13, 2008, 22:28:42: Day 67.

Well, the parcel didnt arrive today :'(

Soooooooo, we all need a joke to cheer us up ;D

THE KLOPMAN DIAMOND

A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it.

"This is the Klopman diamond," she said. "It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it."

"What's the curse?" the man asked.

"Mr. Klopman."

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 14, 2008, 20:33:07: Day 68.

Well done for being so patient, all you people still to get a go of the parcel ;D

No news , so I am sorry but I have to do it. It's the rules ::)

A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they'd have to drastically alter their life-style.

"If you'll just learn to cook," he said, "we can fire the chef."

"Okay," she said. "And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener."

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 15, 2008, 20:14:20: Day 69.

Oh good, I get another chance to drive you all mad ;D

Help Wanted

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can't give you the job."

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, "Yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual."

The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, "Meow."

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on May 15, 2008, 22:57:59: ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 16, 2008, 22:03:26: Day 70.

No news again!!!At this rate, the parcel may be on it's way for 100 days!!

I'll get straight to the point.......

Have you heard of the garlic diet?
You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner.

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 17, 2008, 17:14:28: Day 71.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Whoopee! Parcel news ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Parcel has arrived and will soon be winging its way to the next recipient ;D

Here's a clue........solve the anagram

dan belt us

Have fun!

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 18, 2008, 21:31:12: Day 72.

Come on! Somebody have a guess at the anagram ;D

Heeeeeeeeeere's the joke ;D ;D

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"

The policeman said, "What's he like?"

Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: RobinOfTheHood on May 18, 2008, 22:06:36: Oh, OK.......Dunstable?

(promise I didn't peek at the list!) ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: springbok on May 18, 2008, 22:15:23: ohhhhhhhhh... well that could be one of two of us :)

Cant wait if its me :D

Been loving the jokes along the way :D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 18, 2008, 22:56:16: Does your house have something in common with an octagon or octopus? ::)

If so, it could be you ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: springbok on May 18, 2008, 23:00:30: gosh, that really threw me there lol.

It must be late lol.

Yes it must be me :D :D :D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 19, 2008, 22:57:34: Day 73.

Springbokgirlie, I take it the postie didnt get it to you today :( If he tries getting away with it again tomorrow, rugby tackle him!!!! ;D ;D ;D

You can blame him for this next joke (parcel related ;D)......

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate.

The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note:

Dear Sir,

Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.

The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup.

We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your **** and go as a toffee apple.

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: springbok on May 20, 2008, 17:21:22: boo hoo, no parcel today :( :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 20, 2008, 22:08:18: Day 74.

I reckon the postie has heard about the parcel, and has borrowed it for a sneaky swap of his own ;D

Anyway, whatever the reason, I have to carry out my duty.............

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.

She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair
sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of
your hairs white, Mom?'

Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then
said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

Till tomorrow ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on May 20, 2008, 22:19:25: (http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn200/northamptonpagans/teaspittin.gif)(http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn200/northamptonpagans/teaspittin.gif)(http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn200/northamptonpagans/teaspittin.gif)(http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn200/northamptonpagans/teaspittin.gif)

I gotta remember that one.............................(http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn200/northamptonpagans/hail.gif)........oh great teller of ye olde jokes!!!
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 20, 2008, 22:31:39: You do realise that no one will ever take me seriously again ::) ;D ;D ;D

This parcel taking so long has completely ruined my reputation as a sober, upstanding member of A4A ;D

Come to think of it, I dont think I ever was thought of as a sober, upstanding member of A4A :-\

Anyone know of any jester jobs going :-*

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: saddad on May 20, 2008, 23:32:18: I'm not in the parcel swap but what does sober and upstanding mean? Hic...
::)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 21, 2008, 07:18:35: Erm, I'm not exactly sure ::)

Can I have a different question please ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Suzanne on May 21, 2008, 08:01:40: I believe its the opposite of inebriated and prone, which many of us may be more familiar with ;D

I am also not on this swap but I have been checking in for the jokes everyday - brilliant job carolinej :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 21, 2008, 10:02:59: Nice to know I'm not the only one with such a bad sense of humour ;) ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: littlebabybird on May 21, 2008, 10:37:34: I have to confess like Suzanne and saddad I'm not in this swap but i have to check out your jokes every day

lbb
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: manicscousers on May 21, 2008, 14:13:27: me, too ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Lindsay on May 21, 2008, 15:19:03: and me! ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: froglets on May 21, 2008, 15:27:10: Ditto (sad lurking a speciality)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Hyacinth on May 21, 2008, 18:38:25: ditto to all the above ::)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 21, 2008, 21:27:10: Day 75.

Aaaargh, the pressure now I know you are all watching me. :o

There has been no news today, so I should do a joke. Nerves are getting to me!! I dont think I can do it................................................................

Just kidding ;D Would I let you down?(Dont answer that!!)

Here's a particularly cringy one ;D ;D ;D

A dog limped into a bar in the old west, a gun held in one paw. The bar fell silent as the canine stranger looked around. Finally, he broke the silence:

"I'm lookin' fer the man who shot mah paw..."

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Suzanne on May 21, 2008, 21:30:45: ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: springbok on May 22, 2008, 18:12:28: Its arrived ;D

But maybe i should of not said, so we got more jokes :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on May 22, 2008, 20:23:30: Delete your post SBG, before Caroline sees it then......quick ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D 8)

oooh did I say that out loud
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 22, 2008, 21:28:10: Day 76.

Well, there has been news on the parcel so I really shouldnt post a joke.

On the other hand, the parcel is nearly back home, so maybe I could make an exception tonight ::)

Oh, go on then, but dont let me make a habit of it ;D

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see's a car puttering along at 22 MPH.

He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 142."

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Lindsay on May 23, 2008, 06:51:03: Glad you gave in to temptation with that one, Caroline!
;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on May 23, 2008, 09:09:27: Perhaps one of CJ stars should be a medal ,for services to mirth and looking after us all during the passage of the parcel.
Well done ol'bean.
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on May 23, 2008, 13:14:52: Very good...........it takes a lot for me to chuckle out loud, but you have succeeded on a number of occasions Caroline :D.

Very well done, I have really enjoyed this PTP ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 23, 2008, 22:58:51: Day 77.

Thanks for all your comments. Nice to be of service ;D

Everyone sing along with me (to the tune of 'the conga')

NO NEWS ON THE PARCEL
NO NEWS ON THE PARCEL
HA HAA HA HA
HA HAA HA HA

;D

Here we go!!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Conga!
Conga who?
Conga go on meeting like this!

I can here the moans from here!!! ;D ;D ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 24, 2008, 16:21:59: Day 78.

No news ;D

I dont think there's much chance till after the bank holiday now, so I advise you deactivate notification on this thread if your nerves are getting frayed by all the frivolity ;D ;D ;D

TINY BIKINY

A 16-year-old girl bought herself a very tiny bikini. She went home and put it on, then showed her mother how she looked in it. "What do you think mom?"

Her mother replied, "I think that if I had worn that when I was your age, you'd be five years older!"

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on May 24, 2008, 23:20:12: ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Suzanne on May 25, 2008, 18:46:58: Quote from: carolinej on May 23, 2008, 22:58:51

NO NEWS ON THE PARCEL
HA HAA HA HA
HA HAA HA HA

;D

Here we go!!

I can here the moans from here!!! ;D ;D ;D

cj :)

Quotes slightly out of context I know - but are we getting a bit blofeld here? Do you have by any chance a white persian cat you are stroking??
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 25, 2008, 21:12:56: Aaaah, suzanne, I've been expecting you. ;D ;D ;D

Day 79.

No news , eh? Well, well, well.

I shall have to deal with this situation immediately, with a cat joke for suzanne. Dont blame me, blame her ::) ;D

The Scene: The Pearly Gates to Heaven. St. Peter is receptionist at the entrance. A cat shows up.

St. Peter: "I know you! You were a very nice cat on earth and didn't cause any trouble, so I want to offer a gift to you of one special thing you have always wanted."

Cat: "Well, I did always long to own a nice satin pillow like my master had, so I could lie on it."

St. Peter: "That's easy. Granted. You shall have the satin pillow after you enter in the Gates."

Next a group of mice appeared.

St. Peter: "Ah, I remember you. You were such good mice on earth. You didn't steal food from anyone's house and never hurt other animals. Therefore, I want to grant you one special wish you always wanted."

The Chief Mouse replied, "Well, we always watched the children playing and saw them roller skate, and it was beautiful, and it looked like so much fun. So can we each have some roller skates, please?"

St. Peter: "Granted. You shall have your wish."

Next day, St. Peter is making the rounds inside the Gates, and sees the cat.

St. Peter: "Well, Cat...Did you enjoy the satin pillow?"

Cat: "Oh, indeed I did. And say...that 'Meals on Wheels' thing was a nice touch, too."

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Suzanne on May 26, 2008, 00:08:32: ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 26, 2008, 06:39:32: Day 80.

Well, I know there will be no news today, so let's get the pain over with early on ;D

I thought this was fitting for a bank holiday ;D ;D ;D

What do you call two straight days of rain in Wales? A weekend.

It only rains twice a year in Wales: August through April and May through July.

What does daylight-saving time mean in Wales? An extra hour of rain.

What's the definition of a Welsh optimist? A guy with a sun visor on his rain hat.

A newcomer to Wales arrives on a rainy day. He gets up the next day and it's raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that. He goes out to lunch and sees a young kid and asks out of despair, "Hey kid, does it ever stop raining around here?" The kid says, "How do I know? I'm only 6."

Enjoy the weather!!!

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on May 26, 2008, 23:44:13: ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 27, 2008, 22:12:36: Day 81.

Well, here it is folks ;D ;D ;D

A new business was opening and one of the owners friends sent flowers for the occasion. but when the owner read the card with the flowers, it said, "Rest In Peace". The owner was a little peeved,and he called the florist to complain.

After he told the florist about the obvious mistake, the florist said, "Sir I`m really sorry for the mistake,but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations On Your New Location".

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 28, 2008, 20:11:35: Day 82.

Still no news :'(

Has the poor parcel been kidnapped by an alien , in order to poke and probe it looking for an answer to the meaning of life?

Has it decided to take a year out and travel the world before it comes home?

Or is this all a ploy to have another joke?

All three are, I'm sure you will agree, extremely unlikely ;D ;D ;D

This one is just for you....all. :-*

One Monday morning a postman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route.

As he approaches one of the homes he notices that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. "Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night." the postman comments.

Bob in obvious pain replies, "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. We got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I?"

The postman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play that?"

"Well all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our "privates" showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is."

The mailman laughs and says, "d**n, I'm sorry I missed that.

"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds. "Your name came up seven times...."

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on May 28, 2008, 20:55:42: (http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn200/northamptonpagans/Giggle.gif)(http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn200/northamptonpagans/Giggle.gif)(http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn200/northamptonpagans/Giggle.gif)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Suzanne on May 28, 2008, 21:05:28: :o ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 29, 2008, 22:05:02: Day 83.

Well, there seems to be no news on the parcel being sent off .

Now I dont want any accusations of pretending I didnt get a pm saying it was on it's way, just so I can post another joke ::) ::) ::)

I am an honest person , me ;D ;D ;D

So, here we go.

The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused.

"Need some help?" a secretary asked.

"Yes," he replied. "How does this thing work?"

"Simple," she said, taking the fat report from his hand and feeding it into the shredder.

"Thanks, but where do the copies come out?"

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on May 29, 2008, 23:21:01: Ooops ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 30, 2008, 22:13:17: Day 84.

no news, but I have kindly been sent an amazing selection of terrible Tommy Cooper jokes. Thanks mick ;D ;D ;D

here they are.....enjoy ;D

Ã˜ I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, 'That's Aboriginal.'

Ã˜ Told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said 'Tenpin?' I said, 'No, permanent.'

Ã˜ I went in to a pet shop. I said, 'Can I buy a goldfish?' The guy said, 'Do you want an aquarium?' I said, 'I don't care what star sign it is.'

Ã˜ I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet.
'Best Before End'

Ã˜ I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said 'Analogue.' I said 'No, just a watch.

Ã˜ I went into a shop and I said, 'Can someone sell me a kettle.' The bloke said 'Kenwood' I said, 'Where is he then?'

Ã˜ I went to the doctor. I said to him 'I'm frightened of lapels.' He said, 'You've got cholera.'

Ã˜ I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, it's P something T something R.

Ã˜ I was reading this book today, The History of Glue. I couldn't put it down.

Ã˜ I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just went on and on.

Ã˜ The recruitment consultant asked me 'What do you think of voluntary work? I said 'I wouldn't do it if you paid me.'

Ã˜ This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, 'I want you to trace someone for me.'

Ã˜ I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, 'Are you having me on?' I said, 'Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything.

Ã˜ I phoned the local builders today; I said to them 'Can I have a skip outside my house?' He said, 'I'm not stopping you!'

Ã˜ This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says 'Audi!'

Ã˜ I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo' He said 'You're closest'

Ã˜ I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me managing director and I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened. I said 'I careered off the road'

Ã˜ I visited the offices of the RSPCA today, it's tiny: you couldn't swing a cat in there.

Ã˜ I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on two counts.

Ã˜ I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said 'Eurostar' I said 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.

Ã˜ I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays.'

Ã˜ I went to the local video shop and I said, 'Can I take out The Elephant Man?' He said, 'He's not your type.' I said 'Can I borrow Batman Forever?' He said, 'No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow'

Ã˜ A waiter asks a man, 'May I take your order, sir?' 'Yes,' the man replies. 'I'm just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?'
'Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they're going to die.'

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: mikey on May 31, 2008, 11:10:48: Parcel arrived in Sunny Lincs this morning at 10:30 hrs, 2 days from Luton by 2nd class so not a bad service from Post Office.

Great selection, will have a 'rummage' and get it back in the post on Monday.

Cheers ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on May 31, 2008, 18:17:49: Day 85.

Whoopee! Parcel news!!!!

You can all relax. No joke today ;D

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on June 01, 2008, 21:28:53: Day 86.

No surprise that there is no parcel news today, it being Sunday ;D

Dont think that means you will be getting away with it........

Robert was a tractor enthusiast - goes to all the major agricultural shows - enthusiastic about tractors etc. etc

He is very keen on a particular model and has heard that it will be featured at the tractor show.
Gets to the show and is in awe - WOW it's huge! Every tractor he could think of.
Asks to have a test drive - exhibitor obliges - ( Visions of awe and excitement - his dream has come true....)

Turns on the ignition ( trembling with excitement) - and accidentally puts it into reverse..... Causes chaos..

Robert's street credentials are ruined . He hangs his head in shame - gets home, burns his tractor magazines etc, etc...

Goes to get plastered in his local pub.....Walks in the door and notices that the room is filled with smoke.

Bartender explains that they have a chimney blockage etc..... and will offer free drinks for a year to anyone who can solve the problem.

Robert stands in the middle of the pub - breathes out fully - then sucks.......
All the smoke dissapears.

Bartender is suprised and amazed - everyone is cheering......

"How on earth did you do that?" The bartender exclaims.

"Easy" - Says Robert...

"Im an Extractor Fan"

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Hyacinth on June 01, 2008, 22:03:10: GROAN!!

;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on June 02, 2008, 18:29:24: Day 87.

No news. Oh dear. I feel another joke coming on ;D ;D ;D

Well, actually 2.

First , one for the boys....

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plough?
Give here a shovel.

And now one for the girls....

Grow your own dope.........plant a man.

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on June 02, 2008, 21:43:18: ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on June 03, 2008, 21:15:29: Day 88.

No news and no mercy, mwahaha

Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood."

"We're new here," says the second one. "It's dark out, and we don't know where to look. We'd better wait until the other bats go with us."

The first bat replies, "Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere." He flies out of the cave.

When he returns, he is covered with blood.

The second bat says excitedly, "Where did you get the blood?"

The first bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave. Pointing into the night, he asks, "See that black building over there?"

"Yes," the other bat answers.

"Well," says the first bat, "I didn't."

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on June 03, 2008, 23:52:53: Day 89.....nearly!!!

Just had news on the parcel. It is on it's way back to me.

So I will take the day off from a joke tomorrow (which will probably be today by the time you read this ??? ;D)

It was posted second class, so all being well, it should be with me on Thursday.

If not, I'll be back with another joke. Not long now and your torment will be over ;D ;D ;D

till then....

cj :)
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on June 05, 2008, 12:11:26: Day 90.

Well, the parcel has finally arrived home!!!

Thanks to everyone who took part. I hope you manage to grow something you love ;D

Let's wrap this post up with a song....

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZedhoqYdfTM&feature=related

Over and out.

cj :-*
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: markfield rover on June 05, 2008, 14:00:43: I feel I should rush on and say " And I love you all"

Well done you!
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: littlebabybird on June 05, 2008, 17:09:31: caroline I cant cope, where am Igoing to get my little hit of sunshine every day?

thank you, its been great I might have to join your next swap
lbb
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Suzanne on June 05, 2008, 20:01:44: Well...........brought a tear to my eye, not only have we lost the daily joke (much appreciated and greatly appluaded by all), but it ended with one of the most touching comedic moments in history (this is a genuine thought and not overacting).

Carolinej a standing ovation and a proper prima's bouquet is deserved for your season achievement for seed swap excellence 2008. I, and many of my contempories (looking round for nodding approval, which is seen to be coming from all sides), stand up and salute you.

I look forward with great and expectant anticipation of next years seed swap (if not sooner) as many of us say "s*d the seeds and welcome the jokes.

Speech over, take the award and run for the hills in case you get stalkers.

Our best wishes the silent non-participants

;D
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: Hyacinth on June 05, 2008, 20:48:51: Caroline, you really HAVE brought us all sunshine, even to non-participants like me :-*

Thank you so much for all the fun and the thought you've put into this. 8)

Lishka x
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: star on June 05, 2008, 21:39:05: Caroline.........................................................thank you :-* :-*
Title: Re: Sunshine pass the parcel.
Post by: carolinej on June 05, 2008, 21:43:18: Thanks everyone ;D ;D ;D

Nice to know I have given you a giggle ;D ;D ;D ;D

See you next year 8)

cj :-*