Allotments 4 All
General => The Shed => Topic started by: Trixiebelle on May 09, 2007, 16:34:10
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In all walks of life and wherever you go, you can always locate a famous fruit, vegetable or herb
(Ok … I’m bored! Humour me!)
COMEDY SECTION
Basil Fawlty: Don’t mention The Pesto
French Bean & Saunders: Absolutely fabulous in pickle
MUSIC SECTION
Asparagus Spears: Pick Me Baby One More Time
Courtney Lovage: You have to understand it to appreciate it… or not.
Little Gem Richard: Quite crisp but a bit short
SERIOUS ACTOR/TV PRESENTER VEG
Leonardo De Calabrese: Over-rated in my opinion but ‘green’ describes it well.
Cauli Faraday: Women seem to drool over this vegetable but I’m not keen. Even with cheese sprinkled on top.
Brussel Brand: Dreadful foliage and a reputation for bolting in the early hours of the morning
ROYAL VEGETABLES
HRH the Pea of Wales and his dear lady wife Camilla Parsnip Bowles: A strange combination I’m sure you will agree. I can only stomach them together for a couple of Sunday roasts a year.
Princess Beetrootice (daughter of Funghi and Andriod): Sturdy little thing with an interestingly coloured head of leaves (no doubt inherited from her mother-veg) Could get tough with age. Better pickled.
POLITICAL VEGETABLES
Turnip Blair: Good mashed
Salad Hussain: Invasive and bitter. Best avoided.
Osama Bean Laden: Rarely sighted these days. Can grow in light-restricted conditions (i.e. caves) Also bitter and quite rampant.
LITERARY VEGETABLES
William Shakespeare (also known as ‘The Chard of Stratford’): Looks good, comes with recommendations from others but turns out to be utterly tasteless and uninteresting. AVOID!
Courgette Heyer: A hybrid relative of Georgette Heyer who knocked out a few ‘bodice-ripper’ historical novels in the 70’s. My mum had the whole set. Each book had EXACTLY the same plot-line and could best be described as ‘compost’. Much like the courgettes we know and love today.
Elizabeth Carrot Browning: A hybrid relative of the world-famous Victorian poetess. Unfortunately this vegetable’s rhyming couplets are as follows …
“I’m a carrot
Not a parrot!
I am orange
I’m not borage …” ETC.
Sad really, but I’m not going to lose sleep over it!
ANYONE ELSE GOT ANY FAMOUS VEG. THEY WANT TO SHARE?
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Yer Mad!
;D
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I KNOW ;D I just can't help it!
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Yer also very cleverXX Jeannine
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cheers, trixie, can't think of any funnies but you made me laugh out loud ;D
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I tried to cross Good King Henry with a Jersey Royal and all they did was mange tout
And dont ask about Principe Bhorgese flashing his plums at Mr`s Taylor`s yellow pair(sp ;D)
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King Edwards are royal but John Motson is only a Common Tater
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I have Bean thinking about this one.
I heard about a Scarlet Emporer who got involved witha Painted Lady, they both ended up on the Trail of Tears XX Jeannine
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Hee hee Ho ho.
Pumpkin Hilton? Usually hollow with a scary face?
Thought of some goodies earlier but daughter 1 now on an "I am the most annoying person in the world competition" with, oh no, just herself and my mind gone blank.
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I'm Asparagus!
No, I'M Asparagus!
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Trixie, you've started me off now!
Shallot Church looking forward to her new role as a mummy but that won't leave mushroom in her diary for singing
Brocolli Balboa - thinks he wasn't a contender because his name wasn't as catchy as his more famous cousin Rocky.
Kale Minogue - Hopes to hit the Top Twenty with her updated version of Sir Cliff's "The Onions, darling, we're the Onions"
Florence Nightingale-Fennel - descendant the famous Lady with Lamp
Rhubarb Lenska - is she still Mrs Denis Waterman?
Excerpt from "the Tattie Tattler":-
When Lady Christl wed King Edward it was indeed a Majestic ceremony in which the Pentland Crown was piped in by a Maris Piper before an audience of Maris Peers, Pentland Squires and assorted Jersey Royals
Brain dead now!
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WICKER! :D
I love Shallot Church & Kale Minogue :D FANTASTIC!
I woke up at 6am this morning worring about something ... maybe it shouldn't have been HRH the Pea of Wales in my original post. It should have been HRH the Quince of Wales instead. But it was too late to edit the post.
P.S. I do have MORE important things to worry about but that one sort of slipped through the net!
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Far too much time on your hands Trixie. :P ;D ;D ;D
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thought Rhubarb Lenska went out with Dennis Watermelon? think their relationship crumbled
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Aaaaaaarggh!
at RT
;D
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I only have time on my hands @ 6am of a morning Saddad!
And PMSL @ Rhubarb's Crumble ;D
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Didn't Elvis Parsley do Blue Swede Shoes?
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;D
He did indeed Grandma! Along with some other classics ..
Love my Tender and True
Jailhouse Rocket
Artichoke Heartbreak Hotel
A Big Hunk O' Lovage
&
Viva Las Veggies
What a STAR he was. It has always been my ambition to visit Grapeland ;D
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And lettuce not forget that FAB duo, Lemon & McCartney!
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And lettuce not forget Ringo Starfruit cos he was a great drumhead.
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indeed, who can forget the Beetles, with John Lemmon and Plum Mc Chutney
Peas, Peas Me
A hard days nightshade
Lettuce be
All you need is lovage
Baby you can drive my cardoon
Polythene Yam
The salad of John and Yoko
and
I want to hoe your land
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
PMSL @ the salad of John and Yoko ;D
Off to the lottie now with a notebook to jot down ideas!
It's Been a Chard Day's Night!
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I'M BACK ;D
Just been through my record collection (that’s ‘CD’ collection for you youngsters!)
Found a few singles and albums I’d forgotten about.
Gerry and the Moneymakers: You’ll Never Walk on Loam’ & ‘Ferry across the Jersey Royal’
A few more Lemon & McCartney classics: ‘Aubergine Ob La Da’, ‘Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Clubroot Band’ & ‘Lucy In The Sky With Broad Beans’
Simon & Garplantpot: ‘Lobelia’ & ‘Bridge Over Troubled Watercress’
The Fruit Jam: ‘Down In The Tuber Station At Midnight’
Kiwi Dee & Elton St.Johnswort: ‘Don’t go Raking My Heart’
Spliff Richard: ‘Clary Sage Doesn’t Live Here Any More’
Plank Sinatra: ‘Unfigetable’ & ‘I Did It My Bay’
Chuck Elderberry: ‘My Ding-A-Lingonberry’ & ‘Little Sweet-Pea Sixteen’
Lionel Richtea: ‘Damson On The Ceiling’
Dolly Parsnip: ‘I Will Always Love Rue’
Uriah Compost Heap: ‘Lady In Blackberry’
Also discovered a few LP’s by artists you’ve probably never heard of ..
Jerry Usalem & Arty Choke Sing Country (sort of)
Clem Atis: Best Of (this was just a single by the way)
Peat Free & The Privet Clippings The Complete Collection (worth a fortune on E-Bay … just Googled it!)
Patty Pan & The Raddachios The Sing-A-Long-A-Party Album (played at millions of weddings in the late seventies)
Holly Hock & The Tijuana Brassica’s Christmas Collection (grandma’s favourite, even in June)
Doc Leaf & The Medicinal Herbs The Contemporary Rock Collection (don’t know why I bought it really? Trying to be contemporary I suppose)
Peat Free & The Privet Clippings In My Ladygarden (Apple Records – would you Adam & Eve it!)
Dandy Lion & The Mint Sensations Worst Of (and I agree with the album title. DREADFUL!)
Sonny Flower & The Secateurs Summer Hits (quite jolly if the sun’s out. DO NOT spin this disc in January tho’)
I found an old film ad flier in amongst my LP collection as well. Funny how things get filed in the wrong places innit?
It was for ‘Rosemary’s Bayleaf’ starring Mia Fallow.
And that reminds me…. check out Angelica Houston’s new movie ‘Fish Blood & Bone Work’
I could go on and on …..
And on ….
And on ….
And .... STOP ME NOW ;D
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yes. btw - if you've been drinking then i suggest you stop. And if you haven't been drinking, then i think you should start.
Spliff Richard: ‘Clary Sage Doesn’t Live Here Any More’ just what are you growing on your lottie???
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Nicolas Parsnips and the Kale of the century. ;D ;D ;D
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who could forget
Can the cannellini by Suzi Squashtro
Mike Old Field Mushroom's Tuberous Bells
Paul Thymon's 50 ways to leave your loofah
god, it's catching. Stop raining before i go crazy
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if you've been drinking then i suggest you stop. And if you haven't been drinking, then i think you should start.
Spliff Richard: ‘Clary Sage Doesn’t Live Here Any More’ just what are you growing on your lottie???
Not started yet. What time would you advise me to crack the cork?
What do I grow on my lottie? Several herbal alleviations to modern-day stress but NOTHING that needs ultra-violet light. Uses up far too much electrickery.
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judging by your post I think you cracked your cork a long time ago :D
chamomile? hops? henbane??
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judging by your post I think you cracked your cork a long time ago :D
You are quite right. My cork was cracked in 1989 and I've never looked back quince.
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i'll get me coat
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Box Car Willy and the Sungellas singing their new hit single Break of Day.
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i'll get me coat
What sort of coat?
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Mike Old Field Mushroom's Tuberous Bells
sounds painful..this is one of my favourite threads !! ;D ;D
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I loved the Mike Old Field one too Manics ;D
In fact I love them ALL ;D
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i'll get me coat
What sort of coat?
truffle-coat
I Don't Like Moolis by The Boomtown Ratatouille
Bohemian Raoe-seedy by Quorn
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I'm going to laugh myself sick, stop it, you two ;D
you've both got brill imaginations ;D
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A clip from Desmond Decking:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e2aRfqp1sY
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A Message for you Ruby Chard!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGDQ85Dg-ss&mode=related&search=
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'You've done too mulch much too young'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90ivvM7VH7U&mode=related&search=
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ROFPMSL @ I don't like Moolis!!!!!
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it's tiddling down with rain, and i'm completely bored
Ommadawn is Mike Oldfield's finest hour IMHO. It's the only one I upgraded to cd
Eurovision last night, and now this. May as well watch "Kingdom" tonight and kill off the last of my braincells
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You win Trixiebelle.
VEGETABLE FILM THREAD ANYONE?
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I'm glad I stayed out on the lottie with my Aqualung... you've gone insane...
Stir Fry Greens Crazy????
8)
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Films?
I can recommend 'Finding Nemotoads'
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groan, it's started again ???
I quite like Jersey Royale, but I thought The Man With the Golden Delicious was much better.
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Bring me the Butterhead of Alfredo Garcia.
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Not a big fan of James Frond but I quite liked 'License To Dill' & 'The Spirea That Loved Me'
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Raddachio, Raddachio .. where-fore-art-thou Raddachio?
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My Kingdom for a Horsechestnut
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Night ;D Off to cuddle up to 4yr old son Alfie who has chicken pox.
Wonder if there are any songs about chickens and pox that would be relevant?
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yes i'm off to watch "Kingdom" Has anyone noticed how incredibly loud the adverts are in the commercial breaks? Very annoying, wakes me up
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Trixie I do now believe you are completely off your rocker.This is a super post I really don't know how you have done it.
The Day of the Trifeles
A Christmas Carrot
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M*A*S*H
Loneliness of a long distance RUNNER
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Sprout of Africa
10 thing I hate about Eucalyptus
The Cruel Sea Kale
The Rocket Horror Show
How Green Was My Cauli
The Constant Gardener. Clueless. 28 Trays Later
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The Man With the Golden Rod
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M*A*S*H
Loneliness of a long distance RUNNER
MASH?? have we gone continental? I saw a great film last week - AND. I think it was a remake of that French film ET.
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Marathon Mango
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Lettuce from Iwo Jima
Privets of the Carribean
"i'm Asparagus!" "No, i'm Asparagus!!" (did someone already do this one?)
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Yes!
Tommytillo
Cobnuts and Broomsticks
The Horseradish Whisperer
The Prunes of Eastwick
Thelma & Calabrese
Chitting Chitting Bang Bang
Lorna Cardoon
Turmeric and Hooch
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Robocrop
The fellowship of the king edward
2 moolis for sister Sara
Digby, the biggest dogwood in the world
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PMSL @ 2 Moolis for Sister Sarah ;D
I hear on the movie grapevine (!) that Squash Spice has been signed up for a movie. A sad day for us all.
And on perusing the greatest films of all time on Google I notice that mangos take top billing:
The Mango From Uncle
The Invisible Mango
Mango In The Iron Mask
Mangohunter
3 Mangos & a Baby Sweetcorn
Etc.
Some of my particular favourites are:
Saving Privet Ryan
Monty Python & The Holy Grape
Kill Dill
The Elephant Garlic
The Lion, The Twitch and the Walnut
Citizen Sugarcane
Silence of the Lambs Lettuce &
Clockwork Lemon
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i'd have preferred if Movie Spice had been signed up to be Squashed
Brassica'd Off
My Beautiful Cougette
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Me too!
Free Chilli
Kind Hearts & Courgettes
Die Chard
The African Bean
Robin Hood, Quince of Leaves
Grainspotting
Twelve Monkeynuts
The Lady Radishes
A Streetcar Named Desiree
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My best friend's weeding
Jailhouse Dock
Brassica Galactica
Fight Club Root
and OT
My Big Fat Greek Yoghurt
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The Fungal Book
Going to bed now you'll be pleased to hear ;D