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The Show => Pumpkin 'tastic => Topic started by: Jeannine on March 18, 2007, 22:55:16
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I am moving my previous chatter from the BIG MAX thread as this is more for the tinies..
Carolinej and I have contest going on between us as to who will grow the smallest pumpkin,we have thrown down the gauntlet on the other thread and we re both determined.
So Caroline do you conceed before we start or do you accept the challenge on the tinies own thread.
We then thought we could sell our prize winning seeds on e bay like the big pumpkin growers do.
I am looking for help to grow the.........smallest pumpkin in the world,no doubt Caroline will be on here too to get you expert advise.
Does anyone to join us in this valiant dedicated quest to show the world what we can do.
Tips on fertiliser, soil, sun etc will be appreciated,we mean business and welcome the challenge of others joining us
This not an easy job to bonsai a pumpkin.
XX Jeannine
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So Caroline do you conceed before we start or do you accept the challenge on the tinies own thread.
Conceed.....CONCEED :o :o :o Never! Consider the challenge on!
Here's hoping for lots of entrants, and lots of ickle, lickle pumpkins.
What can we have as a prize? I will get my thinking cap on. I suppose we could use that , as it is virtually unused ;D
Well Jeannine, what are your reccomendations for the best type to grow for mini pumpkins.........and DONT say, 'Atlantic Giant'!!!
cj :)
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No Caroline , that would be unfair,isn't there one called something Max !!
HEE HEE HEE
Here, ittle bitti baby, Mommy's gonna make you a star. XX Jeannine
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Here, ittle bitti baby, Mommy's gonna make you a star.
Better cool your heels a little , Jeannine! I have already made a significant start to the competition. My seeds have been well and truly left in the packet, so no chance of an early start leading to better growth.
I hope you have been as keen as ever, and have your plants soaring away in your greenhouse under the growing lamps. Best thing for 'em ;)
cj :)
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Ah yes, you are right but.......what you don't know is, I have been growing bonsai for 50 years, you should see my oak tree that is growing in a thimble, it even has acorns XX Jeannine
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Show us a pic then!
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Shan't. She might get some tips. XX Jeannine
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I'm going to enjoy watching this thread ;D ;D My tip would be to pamper you pumpkins as much as possible, I always do and end up with 'ittle ones :-\
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I grew the worlds smallest watermelon last year, about the size of a tennis ball! It was perfect for me to scoff all alone on the allomtent though and it tasted just devine! Planning on the worlds biggest watermelon this year!! ;D
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Oh Emma Jane, is that another challenge my dear!!! XX Jeannine
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Oooh, that would mean 3 entrants. How exciting ;D
cj :)
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make it 4 entrants curtisy of SS seeds
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Is this for the smallest pumpkin competiton? What are the rules - does the pumpkin have to be orange?
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I'm in too if only cos this thread made me laugh. ;D
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Oh you guys.. I was supremely confident, now I am getting scared. Maybe we should ask the powers that be to make it official, I don't know how that goes??
So Ok who do we have, lets make up our own rules.
1. Has to be a pumpkin, not a squash. And I can hear you saying the names are interchangeable sometimes, but we can figure that one out as we go.
2. Doesn't have to be orange, but it does have to be ripe.
Ok so I have made a start, after that could we not just follow the rules for the big ones??
Help me out here folks.
Sounds like fun.
So who is in??
Oh dear... RSPCPK needs to be formed to protect our little darlings.
Can Pumpkins suffer from marasmas ??
I am getting excited now XX Jeannine
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Wow! Now things are really hotting up! I wonder who will be the first to start a thread in the swap shop asking for tiny pumpkin seeds. Mmmmm....now there's a thought.
Jeannine, if someone does, you are NOT allowed to offer them Big Max seeds under a different name eg. Big Dissapointment Max.
Keep those entries coming ;D
cj :)
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Count me in then - it looks like I'll be growing giant and mini this year!
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Caroline really, I am crushed,would I do that..no honestly I would not but then you know that.
I think the fun here is that we are not going to take ourselves too seriously like the big boys do, well I'me not anyway.
Mind you, I do know your address Caroline,in fact I know them all so far except yours Cambourne, maybe a wee walk in big boots one dark night!!!
I did once read that big Pumpkins are often vandalised, isn't that awful.
Who would kill a baby.
You would be safe anyway Cambourne, I could not stomp on Supersprouts pumpkins.
This is going to be an interesting season.
XX Jeannine
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Can I enter my 8 yr old son.
Out of all the pumpkins he's picked "jack be little" pumpkins.
well thats what he wanted to grow.
TGF :D
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Of course you can, but we are not an official competition like the big one, it is just a bit of fun. I am sure the others will welcome him in XX Jeannine
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I did once read that big Pumpkins are often vandalised, isn't that awful.
Who would kill a baby.
If all goes to plan, no one will be able to find our pumpkins to vandalise them!
Can I enter my 8 yr old son.
The more the merrier!
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I can't stop laughing and my husband thinks I have gone nutsXX Jeannie
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Hey, Leonnie, have they have had the littlest before, is there a procedure for running a competition,XX Jeannine
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Well an update on progress in the Smallest Pumkin competition.
I am just getting ready to repot my plants, not an easy task when working under a large medical illuminated magifing glass,in a greenhouse,however we have made progress, my plants now have 8 pairs of true leaves, they a wonderful deep green colour and are very sturdy.I think I will need to pot them on this weekend as I have a sewing class on Monday and need my thimbles back.,I have to pot them on into 1 1/2 inch pots, the ones I usually use for planting shrubs for my dolls house. They will be a little lost as the pots are far too big but as I could not find enough eye baths to pot on all I had I didn't have much choice.
I hope you are all making equally good progress, and are still enjoying the challenge of coming second.
A sincere good Luck to you all,I love these friendly competitons don't you?
XX Jeannine
PS You will need to put in your order to get your scale soon as they are running low in the shops. I felt I needed to order the one that went down to 1/10 of a gram, of course you may not need one that goes so low, so they are not so scarce.
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Well Jeannine, you certainly have been busy :o
I too have been thinking about the difficulty of weighing the pumpkin and have come up with a solution for pumpkins much smaller than the ones you are growing. I will take 10, weigh them, and then divide that figure by 10 to give me an average. That way, I can weigh pumpkins much smaller than the ones you are growing ;D
Do you put 3 or 5 plants per thimble? I find 5 is better, as otherwise they seem a bit lost in such an oversized pot. I have some planted up individually in half paracetamol capsules. It was quite easy, I just pulled the two ends of the capsule away from eachother,emptied the powder down the sink, and had created 2 perfect pots. They should also dissolve when I plant them out into the thimbles later.
Is anyone else having problems watering? I find that an eyedrop dropper works great, as long as you only give 1 drop every 3 days. Dont want to waterlog them now, do we?
I am hoping to get a special macro lens for my camera before the end of the competiton, otherwise, I wont be able to prove to you all how small my pumpkins are.
Oooh, this is getting soooooo exciting! I'm just off to ignore my pumpkin plants for a bit. Dont want to overy stimulate the growth hormones in there by chatting to them!!
cj
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Hey, Leonnie, have they have had the littlest before, is there a procedure for running a competition,XX Jeannine
I don't believe they've had a smallest competition before ;D
No procedure for running a comp, just make your own rules and go on from there :D
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Hi Caroline, so my ploy to find out how you are doing worked a treat,the old paracetomol container eh,I should have guessed,I underestimated you, you are one tough cookie I didn't think that method was widely known and I am wondering if you have been corresponding with Thomas Thumb for some of his secrets.
I admire your determination but feel it only fair to point out to you what Mr Thumb does not always admit and that is the full details of his very expensive growing plan in case someone actually beats him, so please be careful which paracetomal capsules you use.eg if you use the co-codamol meds with the paracetamol and 8 mg of codeine added you may find that they seem to do well in the beginning but the codeine has the effect of bunging the plants up so that they actually weigh heavier than they look.
I share this with you in the spirit of fairplay, and because I don't enjoy winning anything by default.
I must admit I am very impressed with your watering method, that one is new to me.
I do talk to my plants , I feel it is being supportive, they are only babies after all and they do work so hard at their areobics when they are being transplanted, their little roots waving in the breeze,it makes one proud to be a gardener.
I wish you continuing luck,
XX Jeannine
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Well, that's very sporting of you, Jeannine.
Here's to an exciting competition ;D Do you think we should set up a pumpkin cam, to show everyone how the pumpkins are growing/not growing?
Anyone else got any tips to share?
cj :)
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Well how are everones babies doing, I still have spare Jack be Little seed if anyone needs it.
I see CarolineJ is going for broke, she has been really researching this project,it is not going to be easy to beat her.
I did hear of a much smaller seed that Jack be Little a few days ago that is a pumpkin, used as a bead apparently, I am trying to find a seed source so am hopeful. Not sure if I should mention the name or not.............NOT................well not yet anyway. I might if I find it.
So come on mini folks, hows your plants XX Jeannine
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Hello
I have a problem!!!!!!!
I have lost my pumpkin plants :o I know I put them in the greenhouse somewhere, but I cant find them as they are soooo small ::)
I have tried using a microscope, but to no avail ???
My friend, who works for ICI is going to bring his electron microscope home tomorrow evening to help me search. Hopefully they will then be found, as they are getting a bit potbound and will need potting up. I have ordered special tools for the job, so shouldnt be too much of a problem......if only I could find them.
I will let you know how it goes tomorrow evening. If I dont find them then, I will just have to wait a few more weeks to let them get a bit bigger.
Hope everyone else is having lots of success! A tip from me,.....if you put your plants down, mark the area clearly with something, or you will end up with the same problem.
cj ;)
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I think those ones on the news last week, seen crossing the Welsh border heading East, when interviewed on CNN they claimed abuse and were running away from home, apparently they were made to live in a drug environment and no one talked to them. Shame...
XX Jeannine
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Ladies, an update please?
Caroline, did you find your babies or are you still bottom-up in the 'house searching? Or perhaps they left home and are making their way to Lilliput? Have you alerted the Port Authorities? Worth a try :-\
Jeannine, quite enough talk of drug environments and abuse. Please stop casting nasturtiums ::)- ....play fair now :o
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Great news! The electron microscope did the job. I have now put the plants on the green house staging, with a circle drawn around them. I wont get caught like that again.
So much for Jeannine's assumption that the pumpkins on CNN were mine. I knew it couldnt be mine, as they are so small it would have taken them at least 6 months to get to the welsh borders.
I have now installed greenhouse shading and an air conditioning unit into the one end of my greenhouse reserved for mini pumpkins. I caught one trying to knit itself a scarf with my garden twine. I promptly removed the twine, before he had managed to warm himself.
I have heard that there are drugs you can give to hyperactive children to calm them down. I am going to look on the internet tonight to see if I can get hold of them. I reckon that if I water them with a solution of this drug every morning, they will be even slower to make pumpkins. Then, just before the end of the season, I will withdraw the drug. They will realise how far behind they are (a bit like me and my ironing pile!) and use all their energies to make a pumpkin, which should be tiny.
I am also considering binding the pumpkin, a bit like the chinese used to do to their feet. Jeannine, if you decide to try this method, I would advise elastic bandage, as that would work best.
Is there anyone else who has any tips, as we'd all like to know them. I hope you dont give us any red herring tips. I wouldnt dream of doing that ::)
cj :)
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Not me Lish, it is Caroline who is growing hers in paracetomol capsules. I have personally found that drinking straws cut down to size are adequate and their little rootsie tootsies can wriggle.
Caroline have you found them yet,I am getting very concerned,
XX Jeannine
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Well Caroline we are on similar wave lengths, I have heard that the same process that is used for shrunken heads can work,personally I have never had to worry about shrinking my head at it is petit anyway but I am willing to look for the sake of science.
I see abuse is still your main means of rearing, I am not sure what to say here, a bit like Bonsai i suppose,you are for it or against it.
I am still on the hunt for the tiny seeds I menyioned earlier,and of course I will share them.
Somewhere I have a picture of one I grew last year, the mother of our seeds, having a problem putting my hands on it but will do a search.
I wish you continuing luck.
XX Jeannine
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Jeannine,
I know you are getting concerned about my pumpkins, but dont think I am unaware of your devices. The tub of "Slowgrow" you sent me for them looked a bit suspicious. I picked at the name area on the tub, and found that you had applied a very convincing sticker over the real name, "Miraclegrow"!
By the way, have you used any of the slow release growth retardent that I sent you yet? I would advise that you use it liberally. Sorry it isnt in the original tub, but it got damaged by slugs ::)
cj :)
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Oh Caroline I fed that to the sqush nI didn't realise it was for that.
I hope you have had a good Easter and things are going well for you, we have been at the lotties for 8 hours today,just haveing an A4A peep before dinner.
Got to rush. XX Jeannine
Oh, did I tell you my squash all have flowers on them.
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OMG! Have only just caught this thread and I haven't laughed so much in ages! ;D
Please, please carry this on as I now can't wait to see the results and read the replies. You have made a very tired person very giggly ;D ;D ;D
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Well Coznbob,I am very pleased we have lightened your load for today and made you laugh but I think I speak for both Caroline and I this is no laughing matter,we are very gentle people as a general rule but we are in for the kill on this one, we are both determined to win this very prestigious competition.Not for us the huge monsters which are easy to grow, we are going for the delicate, the petite,the almost invisible, and I for one intend to breed mine smaller and smaller as the years go by,like the big guys do. Did you know they can get 20 quid a seed, imagine what we could get if one of us grows one that would balance on the head of a pin!! Blimey we could become famous, even Blue Peter might be interested.
As you can see we support one another, share our ideas and sorrows.
So please do join us, but don't take sides theres a pet...well not unless you are on mine.
XX Jeannine
PS , you can be my chief cheerleader if you like , but not a word to Caroline, she is a canny lass that one..ssshhh
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;D
Well, I think I have got some Jack be little seeds somewhere, so may well give them a go!
Couldn't use the pumpkin that you sent me as its getting HUGE!!!
As for cheerleading, after 4 kids the mini skirt could be somthing of a bad idea!
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this thread has had me in stitches. Jeannine, pleeeeeeease show us the oak tree in a thimble. If i don't see it i might die! :'(
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Carefull Jeannine,
if you reveal the pics of your oak tree in a thimble, you may give some secrets away. Although I have seen the pics, and , I must say it is an impressive sight, I would never divulge your secrets of perfect bonsai. To put the ideas in the public domain could lead to all sorts of problems with copywriting ideas etc.
I remember well the year I babysat your bonsai Brussels Sprouts plants while you went on holls. The day I picked them up, a dozen in a matchbox, I was very nervous. They seemed to survive your trip to the Gambia, but I didnt lik all the rules and regulations I had to follow to keep up their regime.
Here's hoping for a bumper crop for you with your pumpkins!
cj :)
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I have heard that there are drugs you can give to hyperactive children to calm them down. cj :)
Ritalin. It makes kids more easily controllable, I don't know about helping them. I don't know what it does to pumpkins.
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Ritalin. It makes kids more easily controllable, I don't know about helping them. I don't know what it does to pumpkins.
Well, we could use this competition as an experiment too. I could try using all the different things we have in the medicine cupboard, to see what effect it has on pumpkins. Would anti histamine shrink them down? Would E45 cream make the skins more supple and so make them swell easier?
Does anyone else have any medication they could give to their pumpkins, and what would be the expected result? ;)
cj :)
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Have lots of DIhydrocodeine, it makes me throw up, so maybe I could get bulimic pumpkins, that would keep their weight down!
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Sorry Jeannine, not trying to steal your secrets! :-X
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Coznob, now there's a thought!
Emmy, I'm sure you asking to see the pics is completely innocent. I am more concerned with the horticultural spies who trawl through sites like A4A looking for growing secrets to steal!
cj
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It is innocent caroline! :o I just sooooo want to see a tiny oak tree complete with acorns. I feel my life is somehow incomplete now! ;D
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pssssssst Caroline
Send J some Rohypnol - the date rape drug - then, when her little peekin is comotose it can be got at by one of her giant squashes an neither the little'un or J will ever know a thing - till it grows.....and grows.....and grows...
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Oh Alishka! That's very naughty!(But very clever)
cj :)
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Oh you wicked woman,my wee babies raped by those monstors, they lttle skins would split.
Caroline with all the abuse you give your babies I am surprised you havent taught them to smoke, that will stump ther growth.
Anyway I am planting ny new seeds this week, no contest then as I decided I am not going to share them. They are called Jumbi Pumpkins, you can google and drool.
XX Jeannine
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Hello
just a quick update on the pumpkin situation in the Johnson household.
Plant.......tiny
Flowers.....none
Fruit.......non existant.
Does this mean I am in the lead? ;D
I am at this very minute considering a pumpkincam, so you can all see how slow my pumpkin is growing!
cj :)
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Hi, well hello.
situation in our house... baby pumpkins have been planted out to day.
Plant fairly big,flowers just showing, fruit none.
They have their own wee plot and a wee cloche ,and I am sad as they are out of the nursery now.
We are continuing to call them sweet names, albeit ones that suggest daintiness.
Their siblings have moved on to new homes which will enable us to concentrate more on wee Jack and his wee sister Jill.
They are excited at the thought of another branch of the family joining them shortly from America, the land of their roots. Wee Be Little may well be here in time to start a new life this year . Jack who is starting his teen years now and is feeling the urge to be protective is especially looking forward to being able to protect this very diminutive relative.
All is calm and serene in the Yorkshire nursery, and we wish you well.
XX Jeannine
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Hey Caroline ,Jack and Jill brought his friends home for tea XX Jeannine
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Wow! Now THAT'S a pumpkin patch :o :o
cj :)
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Ooooh look! entertaining the Extended Family to tea....nice to see you supporting Old-Fashioned Values Jeannine 8)
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Hello
this is just a test post . I am trying to post my Pumpkincam but it wont download. Perhaps it is the pic that is the problem. We'll see
cj :)
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Sorry , I cant post any images tonight. Must be a problem somewhere. Will try again tomorrow. Try to get through the night without Pumpkincam. Be strong!
cj :)
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Oh I am crushed, I was just waiting to see your invisible pumkins.
My Wee Jack had an accident today and we almost lost him.
It happened at watering time, I used the same spray bottle I have been using for weeks but didn't realise that John had turned it to jet to shoot the cat who was piddling in my Swiss Cheese Plant in the living room. I naturally aimed at Jacks ickle roots and pressed the trigger.
Oh the agony, the blast shook him from his eggcup and sent him hurtling across the kitchen straight for the sink. He slid across the wet kitchen surface like he was an ant surfing in duck poop on a linoleum floor.
Right into the sink he went and straight down the plug hole.It was an awful sight to see his wee roots vanishing out of sight as I lunged to save him.
I panicked and quickly turned off the tap. Pausing only for one split second to console Jill who was hysterical with grief, I grabbed the phone and dialed 999.
The firemen were there so quickly and had the jaws of death out so fast,Jack was quickly pulled out and handed to the ambulance men who went to work on him.
We were very fortunate that one fireman who is heavily into cross stitch on his shift had forgotten to take off his magnifying specs in his haste to get to us and he was able to see him in the U trap.
Jack was visibly shaken but quickly regained his strength. Jill I fear will take longer, she has lost some weight since the trauma, we supect that the emotional harm has turned her anorexic.
A big thanks went to our local action men, we are so grateful we have promised to buy the Firemans Pin Up calender this coming year instead of the usual cats.
I do hope you get your camera working shortly.I would like to send you pictures of our two wee ones but I fear they have had enough excitement this week.
XX Jeannine
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Oooh Jeannine, the shock of it all could have killled them! You must have been out of your mind with fear. That's the trouble, pumpkins are like dogs. You just get sooooo attatched.
Warning....if your pumpkins are near the computer screen, please move them somewhere out of its sight while you read the next part.
I do wonder what we will be doing with our pumpkins after the competition is over. Usually,it's on the compost heap, or into the green sacks for the council. Now I know that to give your life in order to help another organic vegetable is noteworthy, but do you really think that it will be the best way for the prizewinning pumpkin plant. Obviously, they are not going to make it to the new year, so we need to discuss suitable arrangements. I think it would be nice to have a few chioce leaves pressed and then laminated. they could be used as flowerpot stands.
Anyway, I'm off try posting the pumpkincam again.
cj :)
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Here it is folks. If ever you are concerned on the progress of my pumpkin, you can now check it out by returning to this post. By the way, the snail is a minature one from a charm bracelet, just for you to get the perspective right.
PUMPKINCAM 2007
(http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p222/carolinejohnson/pumpkincam001.jpg)
Image updated every 30 seconds.
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Would you really waste all that organic matter on the council?
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Until this year, I didnt have a lottie, so they ended up getting all my prunings. My 2 daleks couldnt cope.. Now I have 2 lotties, they arent getting any of it! I have 4 bins already, and am planning on getting another 4. Do you think that's a bit obsessive? ::)
cj :)
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Robert, you have shocked me!!Waste...Waste... you are talking about my babies, shame on you , and you a minister too.
Caroline, I have given some thought to this subject and have already got my decision down to two choices. Of course you must remember that I am rearing my pumpkins with love and care ,not abuse, so my decision may be somewhate different to yours.
I have been seriously considering having them dehydrated the way one preserves flowers,but to do so I would have to bury them in silicate for some time or do it in the microwave. I doubt I would be able to do it personally so we were thinking of sending them to one of the companies that preserve bridal bouquets. They would then be returned under glass and framed.
The second option is to have them bronzed.This is my personal favourite as they would keep for ever , just like babies first shoes, however there is no company that does this in the UK and to send them to Texas alone is unthinkable. I would have to accompany them.This brings all sorts of problems like import permits into the US etc,and of course cost has to be considered. I would therefore have to find the cheapest way.
I think I will put a post on one of the US gardening forums to see if a true pumpkin lover would give me bed and board for perhaps a few seeds.I would also need to find a budget surgeon willing to extract them and you must have heard the rip off stories about surgery in America.
We have certainly taken on a big responsiblity here.
Going back to the US import permits I think I will just tuck them both in my bra and not say a word.I hope they don't have sniffer dogs. I know it is wrong to break the law but sometimes needs must.
I love your picture,the wee plant certainly looks small compared to the charm, however I just have one query. Would there not be a ring to attach it to a bracelet? Perhaps it is the camera angle,after all knowing how truthful you can be it has to be genuine.
XX Jeannine
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Oh Jeannine, that's great news that you cant see where the ring was attached. I spent ages filing it down.
Dont you think it would be a bit itchy to have pumpkin plants in your bra!?! Surely there must be a better way. I have heard that some people have been known to put illegal objects into condoms, swallow them and then wait for nature to take its course, so to speak. This is highly dangerous with some substances, but with pumpkin plants, I dont suppose it would be so much of a risk.
If customs stopped you, I suppose it would be difficult to explain why you had swallowed 2 pumkin plants. You may end up dealing with the mental health people.
Perhaps, all things considered, you would be better treating John to a home bronzing kit for christmas. That way, you would save money, presant for John and useful tool for yourself, all for 1 bargain price. Then, when he has mastered the technique, you could offer the service in this country. I'm sure people would be queueing up to use the service to bronze prize sunflowers (huge, so a tidy profit margin there if you charge by the square cm),huge leeks and even that particularly stubborn dandilion that has been fighting for years, but has finally given up and allowed itself to be pulled out , root and all.
Wishing a wonderful growth spurt for Jack and Jill.
cj :)
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Good morning Caroline,
Well you prompted me to think about travelling my pumpkins and as there seemed to be sense in what you said I decided it might be better to have a dummy run and try the two ideas for illegally transporting pumpkins.
You were certainly right about the itching, having planted at the allotment all day yesterday with two pumpkins in my cleavage I would not suggest to anyone that they try it,it was irritating to say the least,the rash seems to have subsided somewhat this morning but I fear it will take a while to go away completely.The part on my face is being bit difficult to get under control however.I think bending over for so long made the pumpkin leaves catch my chin and nose which is still rather swollen and red, however the calamine lotion is making me feel more comfortable.
When I realised that was no use I decided to try the other method that you suggested before I went to bed last night.
Being a bit old for condoms personally that was a challenge in itself. I tried several bars to try to locate one but all the dispensers in the ladies loos were empty, finally in desperation I sneaked into the gents,I managed to get one in there but was caught on the way out. Obviously I could not give the real reason why I needed a condom so badly at 1am so I had to fib a bit. The police accepted my reason finally and let me go after I explained John was waiting rather impatiently at home and I was a strong believer in safe sex even in geriatrics. It took a bit of persuading though as I had felt obliged to purchase one drink in each of the bars I had visited so my speech was a little slurred. Fortunately they accepted the reason about my swollen face covered in pink stuff as no more than sunburn which I got while gardening in the sun.
I managed to get home ,let my long hair down, applied a little more calamine to my face and nose, slipped into my PJs and quickly tucked Jack and Jill into the condom,as they were so small it was easy. Swallowing the thing was not however,it took several goes, but I did manage it. Because I was tired and a wee bit tiddly of course I completely forgotten I have a severe latex allergy and immediately started to react to the the condom. I was very lucky that I managed to find my epipen and give myself the injection in my thigh while John called the ambulance. They were there very quickly and I got to the hospital in record time and all is well.
It was a wee bit embarrassing how ever as I bumped into the same police officers at emergency that almost arrested me in the pub for loitering, they were interested at first as I was still clutching the syringe.After vomiting back the kids the hospital staff, police, and ambulance drivers put there heads together and decided I was off my head rather than dangerous and finally let me go after I agreed to some suggestions.
So, I am back to square one for transportation and am seriously considering the bronzing kit option now.
Thank you again for the idea, I know you advised me as a true friend, must rush and get dressed as the mental health nurse is coming in half an hour.
XX Jeannine
PS I forgot, the extra heat generated by by being in my cleavage all day etc does seem to have promped a bit of quick growth so they are spending the day in the fridge to compensate.
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Well, Jeannine, you truly are a devoted pumpkin grower to go through all that and still be smiling (even if the smile is still a little lopsided from the rash!)
I just wanted you all to be aware of a notice I saw in my local garden centre this morning. It went like this.
CUSTOMER NOTICE!
WE HAVE RECENTLY BEEN OVERWHELMED WITH THE DEMAND FOR TINY PUMPKIN GROWING KITS. THIS SEEMS TO BE A NATIONWIDE PROBLEM. PLEASE NOTE THAT WE DONT SELL THEM, IN FACT WE HAVE NEVER SOLD THEM. PLEASE COULD YOU REFRAIN FROM ASKING THE STAFF IF WE HAVE THEM IN STOCK, AS IT HAS BECOME SO BAD NOW THAT THEY DONT HAVE TIME TO WATER THE PLANTS DUE TO ALL THE ENQUIRIES. I DONT WISH TO LOSE ALL MY CURRENT PLANTS DUE TO LACK OF CARE, SO PLEASE BE UNDERSTANDING IN THIS MATTER.
HOWEVER, I AM LOOKING IN TO GETTING SUPPLIES OF THESE NEXT YEAR. THEY WILL RETAIL AT£1.99. THIS WILL INCLUDE SEED, COMPOST, POT AND 'NO GROW' FERTILISER, ALL IN A HANDY REUSABLE GARDEN THEMED EGG CUP.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR CO OPERATION IN THIS MATTER.
THE MANAGEMENT.
Just goes to show how many people are getting serious about our little A4A competition!
cj :)
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Wow, Caroline, thst is good and bad news. I think after the hard work we have put in it seems a bit sad that there are companies out there prepared to buy from nobodies. I think we should keep a very strict journal of our findings as there are bound to be ruthless folks who will sell them with insufficient growing info. I can see them on e bay now, with their But it Now prices.
With this in mind I have today printed off the pages of info we have so far published ,there are 19 by the way if you do it. John is setting up his camera to take pictures of my face and my cleavage before the redness and swelling go away, I will publish them on here as soon as I can . I would dearly love to add one of the condom swallowing but better not risk that. I can use the Mila balloons that take helium but they are quite big and I don't think I could manage that. Could you perhaps have a go , it was your idea after all, we only need 1 picture. I think I still have one with Santa on.
Jack and Jill are out of the fridge again, Jack is fine as usual, Jill is looking very abused,we have had to move her pot away from the phone as we are a bit afraid she may call an abuse hotline.
We found out today thet the kids relative Wee Be Little are not coming from the US as originally planned , but we did get a small Sugar Pie.
Please give some thought to swallowing Santa, the picture will liven up the forum as his feet would go down last.
I think I should perhaps not but my inflamed bosom on the forum either, I would't want to be moved to the Watershed.
Take care of yourself and the kids.
XX Jeannine
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Hello Jeannine
I dont think we need worry about these pumpkin kits. There is no way that they will be able to compete with the provenance of our pumpkin seed. After all, the winner of the A4A smallest pumpkin competition will have loads of publicity on this site. Everyone on here will read the post proclaiming the winner. The people looking for these kits must have been on here reading this, to have decided to try for small pumpkin production. So everyone will want seeds from that pumpkin, not some cheap imitation.
I have given swallowing Santa some thought. Although initially I thought I would do it in the interest of making the forum more visually interesting, I changed my mind . I try to eat organic whenever I can. Do you realise how many chemicals would be in Santa!!!!!??????!!!!!!! I couldnt risk losing all the benefits I have gained by living a healthy lifestyle, just to provide a picture for this forum, even though I know how important it is to you. Please respect my decision. I dont want to cause any offence. However, if you can come up with an organic Santa, or even Emu, teddy bear or Darth Vader head, I will certainly give it a go!
That is very bad news about the withdrawal of the offer of pics of your inflamed bosom. I know lots of people were looking forward to seeing the pics, just so they would be able to identify pumpkin rash, if ever they were at a horticultural show and someone suddenly developed the same symptoms.Perhaps yopu could start a new thread on the watershed? Perhaps you could just post a drawing?
I wouldnt worry about Jill calling an abuse hotline. It is a little known fact that pumpkins can't manage the keys on a phone, it's something to to with their genetic make up. Just make sure she doesnt trick you into ringing the number, and then shout 'Help!' down the line before you realise who it is and hang up!
Anyway, I have to go ignore my pumpkins for a while.
Happy growing
cj :)
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Well there is something beginning to happen to my plants, they have gone from just your basic green to buds now . Jill is a little behind Jack, so she is not thinking of blooming yet, but Jack looks like something is stirring. This ridiculous weather is bringing them on too fast and I am getting quite concerned, I don't want Jack to be an over developed teenager too soon but it seems to be happening. Kids come on so fast these days don't you think. but early puberty in baby pumpkins is something I was not prepared for.
Do you think he will get acne or worse still do you think his temperament might change overnight and |I might wake up to find a miniature killer pumpkin. I have heard it can happen with boys.
Then there is Jill, I wouldn't sleep nights of it happened to her, she is developing very quickly in all the right places and soon will be making heads turn. It is such a responsibility Caroline. I guess everyone thinks that as they approach this special age but their hormones are going crazy. I saw Jill looking very oddly at my lipstick the other day too.
I am wondering wether I should put a lock on the greenhouse door or wether to just give in to nature and teach them the facts of life as I give them each a mobile phone.
Perhaps I can wait a wee while, after all they are just starting to develop and I might have a bit of time. I am just not ready for them to start pollinating yet, they are still babies after all.
How are your little ones doing, I hope that sweet Welsh air in their lungs is giving them lots of nutrition.
I would as usual appreciate you opinion
XX Jeannine
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Jeannine,
I understand your worries about the advancing maturity of your pumpkins. Unfortunately, pumpkins seem to hit puberty so much earlier nowadays than they did even 20 years ago.
This can be a real strain for the pumpkin grower. Even very experienced growers are finding theselves outpaced by the rate of maturity in these vegetables.
I think that a lot of people, fooled by the apparent physical maturity, fail to realise that emotionally they are still mere babes. These pumpkins are finding it difficult to handle the freedom they are given, much too early in my opinion, just because they 'look mature enough to handle it'.
Only yesterday, I heard of a case of pumpkins forming a gang at our local lottie. They were being intimidating to all the other veg. On the lottie concerned, the broad beans still hadnt poked their heads out of the soil, as they were too frightened. The purple dragon carrots were being verbally abused, and I wont even tell you what they said to the leeks!
I have no intention of letting my pumpkins get involved in this sort of rabble rousing. Oh no! They are firmly under lock and key in the greenhouse, and will not be allowed out into the big wide lottie till I know they are capable of controling themselves, and acting responsibly within their peer group of other veg.
At the end of the day, if we allow our pumpkins to go out into the world too early, they will get bruised and battered and will never ripen properly. If we want them to survive well into old age,they must be kept as unblemished as possible.
Lets launch a drive for pure pumpkins! Together we can stem this rot! We can lead the world in responsible veg rearing! United, we can CHANGE THE WORLD!!!!!!
Ooops, sorry, got a bit carried away there :-[ :-[ :-[
cj :)
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Well, the weather has taken an awful turn for the worse. Here in Wales, I think it is a bit too chilly for pumpkins now. You all know how much I like to look after my pumpkin ::) I have no room to bring mine back into the greenhouse, so I have come up with a solution.
What do you think?
(http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p222/carolinejohnson/pumpkin097.jpg)
Now that's one cosy pumpkin!
cj :)
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...and which football team, exactly, does Little Pumkin support?
......or are you (shock horror) growing the little love to be abused by Large Men with Huge Thighs on a Saturday afternoon?
I think the Pumkin Support Agency should be told... ::)
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Alishka,
I always try to encourage a healthy interest in sport. Here in Wales, rugby can become more of a way of life for the true enthusiast.
Unfortunately, this young pumpkin is showing no interest in sport whatsoever. He refused to wear the scarf at all till I told him that it was the same as the one Alan Tichmarsh used to wear on TV during blustery weather ::). Apparently he doesnt want to be associated with any form of mindless competition which damages the body without enriching the intellect :o Trust me to get the clever dick!!!
cj :)
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Caroline, I refer you back to your previous post, above, 05/05 ::)
Please, please do not be fooled by the easy words spoken to you by Little Pumkin....yes! they may in fact be true and one day he may indeed become the President of Pumkinini.....on the other hand he may in fact be trying to pull the wool of that splendid lovingly knitted scarf over his adoptive Mum's eyes....usually, if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is (sigh) :o
I recommend strict vigilance on your part.
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>:(
I am with Lish on this one. Perhaps it was a bit rash (pun intended) to put red and white on the little mite. Maybe a new scarf could be knitted with some neutral colour? Not many teams have beige...
;)
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I see your point. Thanks for the concern.
Maybe I could knit a multi coloured one, with stripes of beige, magnolia, cream, ivory and off white.
I admit I have been fooled by my pumpkins apparent intellectual maturity. I can now see it was just a smoke screen for the plans he has when I allow him out without any additional heat and light from me.
Pumpkin rearing is SUCH a responsibility :-\
cj :)
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You just leave that scarf right where it is, I now know that your pumkins are on my side. That is the colours of Hull Kingston Rovers Rugby team. I have enough trouble at school as I am on the wrong side to almost all the kids.
I have not answered your previous letter yet Caroline as I waiting for a reply to an email sent to a pumpkin phychiatrist in Montreal, he has sent me a brief reply indicating that a more comprehensive one will be following.
In the first message he said, " I am currently in the field and unable to reply in depth , but in the meantime I implore you to hug your pumpkins on a daily basis or they will get a hang up about food and use it as a comfort,therefore you will end up with obese tinies."
I share this with you as I know you are using the ignore tactics with yours.
I will get back to you when Dr.Squashpot answers me again.
XX Jeannine
Tell your little lad he has good taste.
UP the ROBINS XXX
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Thanks for the advice Jeannine. Maybe I should be ignoring my Atlantic Giant pumpkins then, as it would be great if they ate for comfort. With them , I am going for BIG BIG BIG!
I think I have heard of Professor Squashpot. Wasnt he the one who did a program with that Sir Winstone man, all about the bonds between a man and his pumpkin, which can endure for years after the pumpkin has been composted. There was one particularly sad case, where the pumpkin had been composted, but the owner refused to leave the compost heap. He eventually pined to death. The family were fighting in the European Court of Human Rights, to enable his body to be put on the compost heap with his pumpkin. It was written in his will, but the allotment association were arguing that people could be offended by that. I think I can see their point, but it was very sad.
I didnt realise he was a personal friend of yours. You are very lucky. I have friends who are doctors, nurses, even vetinary nurses, but no pumpkin psychiatrists. That must be sooo useful, especially with your passion for pumpkins ( which, alone, must provide him with loads of material!)
I have recieved hundreds of PMs asking me where I bought the pumpkin scarf. It has made me think, and I may start a range of pumpkin clothing, called Pumpernickel. The possibillities are endless. If anyone has any suggestions for clothing, please feel free to post them here. No idea too whacky. I will try to get access to a good sewing factory, and could be in production by the summer.
I'm off now to do some fashion designing for my pumpkins.
cj :)
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Urgent and Highly Confidential PM FAO CJ
Dear Caroline, I hope that you don't mind me contacting you like this. I was most alarmed by the following in your last post on Lotties4, re: a designer clothing range for Baby Pumkins where you wrote:-
have recieved hundreds of PMs asking me where I bought the pumpkin scarf. It has made me think, and I may start a range of pumpkin clothing, called Pumpernickel. The possibillities are endless. If anyone has any suggestions for clothing, please feel free to post them here. No idea too whacky. I will try to get access to a good sewing factory, and could be in production by the summer.
Were the PMs, by any chance, coming from posters in SE Asia and if so are they asking for your Lil Pumkins to make an all-expenses paid trip over to them so that they can get the sizing scale right for their 'good' ie cheap sweatshop sewing factories? This is a well-known ploy by the unscrupulous manufacturers of such 'delicacies'(ugh!) as Chargrilled Asian Pumkin Salad; Thai Pumkin Soup; Green Curry Pumkin; Pumkin Shrimp Gyoza with Roast Red Chili Sauce, and of course, the ultimate delicacy......Kadu Bouranee (Sweet Pumkin), made from our own kidnapped Babes, reputed to have the sweetest and most tender flesh...
Please, please, I beg you, check your PMs carefully and ask Interpol to verify their source.....they have a little-known but dedicated Pumkin Rescue Team based in Hereford and I believe (but please check with Jeannine) that Prof. Squashpot has helped them enormously in the past with suspect profiling. As an aside, and this is Highly Confidential indeed, 'Prof. Squashpot' is not his real name, of course, but his codename in Interpol - for obvious reasons.
btw. Any suggestions for making Jackets for Pumkins must also be suspect....remember what happens to Potatoes :(
Kind regards,
Lishka
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Hello Alishka.
I dont think you need worry about my baby pumpkins. The PMs were indeed from abroad, and they offered the all expenses paid fitting holiday. I sent my baby over just yesterday, and already I have recieved this postcard from him.
He says it is lovely weather and the beach is beautiful. He already has a few parrot friends.
I know there will be the sceptics that think this pic is a fake, but i disagree. Just look at the golden sand and blue skies. The parrots are obviously real too, although I admit my monitor is having a few problems with blurr this morning.
I hope this puts your mind at rest. Thanks for the concern.
(http://img503.imageshack.us/img503/6686/hellovq2.jpg)
cj :)
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:o >:(
"Worried of Oldham" writes: I notice the very unhappy faces on those parrots and suspect this may be a ploy by unscrupulous Pumkin Traders.
They are well known for producing hi tech photos such as the above.
I think it may be time to get Amnesty International involved, the thoughts of the Nation are with you...
:'(
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Hi all, it is with some sadness that I have to inform you all of the death of Dr Sqaushpot, he was found dead in his beloved pumpkin patch the day before yesterday,foul play has not been ruled out as he was found floating in a drum of liquid fertiliser face down.
He was due to give evidence at a court enquiry later this week The subject was not revealed but it is widely accepted that he was going to blow the whistle regarding secret formulas used in the miniaturisation of squash and pumpkins. Some of the secret recipes for growing miniatures are controversial and it has long been thought that one ingredient of a formula used by his main rival who was the subjest of the enquiry was frowned on by Greenpeace., the society he had devoted his life too
Details are sketchy but his death is being investigated by the FBI,Interpol and Seeds Savers US.
His home which had been burglarised had none of his research notes in it.His greenhouses were empty and the only things missing were his seed stash and a few clothes.
I have to add a private thought here, there is a rumour circulating on the net among Cucurbitaceans worldwide that he is fact alive and has gone into the Victims Protection system with his pimpkin babies for his and their safety.
I am unable to continue as I am so very distressed at having to write this, especially as I was waiting for him to contact me with the advice he promised and my babies will not get the help they need.
XX Jeannine
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Oh, Jeannine, that news is terrible!
You must be distraught with the loss of such a friend and wealth of advice.
My thoughts are with you at this time. Please let me know when you get details of the funeral arrangements, as I'd love to attend, along with Big Max, who loved him dearly and read all his books.
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
cj :'(
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It is terrible,I am having nightmares about the pumpkins now, he is there, you are there. I have visions of terrfied little orange babies in wellies running in strange lands with funny clothes on and little men chasing them with cleavers.
And to make matters worse both Jack and Jill have got wee swollen bits on them now,and they are side by side in the greenhouse.
I am staring to crack under the pressure, I have spent the last three nights on the greenhouse floor in the middle of the lottie just waiting to see what is happening. I am so scared that Jill gets herself into trouble and ends up much bigger than she should for her age.
It is not easy to sleep in a greenhouse you know, especially when nature calls. so I have had to give it up. The growbags were quite comfy but the smell of manure wasn't so good for eight hours in a confined space.
I think I am going to have to take a few days off and have a break, if they pollinate well they pollinate.
I am getting quite paranoid too, that Chinese cucumber on the next row looks too smug for my liking and it one of the few I have that are not all female. It's long yellow sticky out thing seems to get bigger and longer every time I pass it. It is swelling so fast it has broken the rubber band I had fastened it to the side of the pot with. It is barely 2 inches from Jills pot now and she has some great big yellow flowers just gaping open.
Oh I have to stop, this is all too too much for me.
How is the rag trade coming??
I hope your lad is still wearing my rugby team colours up there in Wales especially as they played a game in Cardiff just last week
XX Jeannine
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???
What's going on? No postcards, no updates, no nothin...
Really worried now..
;)
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Well Katy,all seemed to settle well in the greenhouse with no ill effects so I have put all my worrying down to being over protective and had decided to loosen my apron strings a little but then we had an accident
I am in mourning here and didn't want to upset Caroline too much with the news.
We had a little mishap in the greenhouse the other day and a baby pumpkin got knocked off the vine.
It looked so cute with a tiny handle and everything so I decided I would keep it and enter it later if it would cure.
I put it on the dashboard of my car where it would dry in the sun out of harms way, it had been drying for about 4 days,I had been turning it every day and talking to it gently, it was coming along really well, then all of a sudden it dissapeared.
I demanded John tell me what he had done with it but he claims nothing, he has searched the car but we cannot find it. No one has been in the car but the two of us so it is a bit odd. It was sitting on the grid that lets the heat out when the heater is on. It was very tiny but I didn't think it would have fallen through the slits.
We have had quite a few words about this as I am still sure John has vacuumed it up,but he promises me he has not.
In fact he has said he will remove the seats in the car and if necessary he will dismantle the dashboard as he knows what this wee one means to me.
I did ring the fire brigade but they did not see it as an emergency, I was most upset with the man I spoke to and told him most angrily that I would not be buying this coming years pin up calender as a protest.
We have been waiting for a break in the weather to start taking the car to pieces but it seems the weather is not on our side.
It is hard to concentrate when I think of the little one possibly stuck in a hole.
As we cannot get into our garage due to a high volume of gardening stuff stored in there our car has to park outside so is it becoming a big worry now. He has been without water and feed for a week. Jih has promised he will hire a marquee if it still rainindg tomorrow so the car seats don't get wet when he takes them out.
So we are set for operation pumpkin rescue tomorrow, I will keep you informed as you have kindly shown an interest, I will post updates on here as and when I can.
I have also cancelled my subscription to the local paper, The National Geographic and Readers Digest who did not seem to think the operation was newsworthy either. We have also cancelled Skye for the same reason and been having a chat tonight about possibly cancelling the TV license but we have decided to think on that one.
Caroline seems to have been a bit quiet lately, I know she was having family problems with her compost and melons so I hope her pumpkins are OK,it would be sad if we both had to stop early,especially as I have found mildew on my plants and am unable to access the usual advice.
Thank you for caring,
XX Jeannine
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:'(
Oh My God! Have you tried the forensic team at the local plod? They seem to have all kinds of cunning ways of finding forgotten bits of things to provide evidence of crimes. Might be worth a shot, they could use it as a training event!
;)
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We found him, a wee bit dehydrated but his colour is good.
I wish I could say the same about John, he looks like a fresh cooked lobster bless him.
Now I wonder if we can get the car back together in time for the Barnsdale trip tomorrow, it is getting a bit cold out there now and we are losing the light mmmmm. Where did I put the miners helmet?
XX Jeannine
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Oh Jeannine, that's great news! I hope John isnt too cross trying to put the car back together in the dark.
I am glad to be able to tell you that my pumpkin plant came home yesterday. he had a wonderful time and says that the new clothing range is being turned out as we speak. We are hoping to take delivery of a few test pieces in the next few days. I will post some pics when they arrive.
I think that now he has been away from home without me, he is probably mature enough to go into the lottie . He says he feels ready, and I agree. I will keep him in his pot till he has finished modelling the new range of clothing for the pics, then I will pop him into his little mound.
I'm sure he will survive any cold snap, equipped with his new wardrobe.
cj :)
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Well Caroline,Jack and Jill are safely transplanted to the lottie too,well away from each other and anything else but a few beans.It has been a very traumatic time for both of us rearing these youngsters and am hoping now they will settle down and get on with the business of growing into fine healthy tiny fruits.
The little one we rescued from the car seemed OK at first but succumbed yesterday,I think it is a blessing actually as I don't think he would have made it for long and I preferred him to go quick. His colour was pale and he was getting very de hydrated, we tried feeding him some cow poo but the seemed to turn his stalk up at it.It was tough at the end , we took him into the seedling greenhouse to be with his family, so he died peacefully surrounded by about 80 varieties of squash.
John held one little leaf and I the other,it was very sad. It was a beautiful sunny day.
The funeral was sad but the 2 cats and three Pekingeses were very supportive, John said a few words,he was a bit choked so I thought he was very brave. He talked about the loss of his dear friend,we called this one Ickle Jack by the way,and shared with the friends gathered there some of the exploits of his little life and said we must stay strong for his brothers and sisters. At one point I was a bit overcome as I remembered some of the fun things we had shared together but I know he is in a better place now.
John had made him a beautiful little coffin out of a Swan Vestas box and I lined it with orange silk.
He is resting now under the cherry tree. I will make a little head stone when I can face it.I will send you a picture.
So we have to look forward to supporting the Jack and Jill mother plants.
I am so pleased that your tiny garments are doing so well and hope the fame has not affected your little one to much.
Take care,
XX Jeannine
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Wow, life is SOOO BUSY when you are a pumpkin clothing range designer! I have had hardly any time to myself, what with meetings and buying trips.
Things have settled down a bit now, as the whole range is in the shops and the 3 factories in Estonia are in full production. I have decided to give all the money I earn to the Professor Squashpot memorial fund for neglected pumkins. No one realises the terrible plight that many pumpkins find themselves in, through no fault of their own.
Did you see the advert for it on Sky last night? They showed a really sad case of a pumpkin that was originally planned for a largest pumpkin competition. Unfortunately, he was the runt of the crop, and thrown on the local lottie dump. He was in a terrible state when he was spotted. The slugs were litterally eating him alive!!
Then they switched to a shot of him after his rescue. He had his own plot, with plenty of room and his own well rotted manure supply. He was so proud to show his baby pumpkins to the camera. I must admit I shed a few tears.
Hopefully, the success of my pumpkin range will prevent many more pumpkin cruelty cases.
My pumpkins for the competition have not got any babies on yet. Either that, or they have been washed away in this awful weather.
Anyway, it would be good to know how many people are trying to grow the smallest pumpkin, ready for the competition. Dont worry if you are not sure that you will manage a very small pumpkin. It will just be good to know how many people are trying to join in.
If you are unsure, remember the prestige that will be yours if you are the winner. Who knows, you may even be asked to appear on Gardeners World, to explain your methods.
Go on, leave us a post so we know who you are ;D
cj :)
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BUMP
JUst had to bump this one , you will need to read it all it is hilarious.XX Jeannine
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BUMP
JUst had to bump this one , you will need to read it all it is hilarious.XX Jeannine
Jeannine, i just had to read the whole post and at points, i was trying not to laugh in case the others in the office could hear me. Posts like this should come with a health warning, do you know how painful it is to try and silent laugh without your shoulders shaking and heaving and trying to breathe at the same time. :o I am considering going home sick as my i have came over all peculiar and wish to work even less than i normally do (and that is saying something....come on lottery win, come to mama ;)).
So to all those considering reading this post.
Please do not read if trying to eat, drink, hold conversation, answer phone, WORK or any other activity.
Jeannine and Caroline, this should be a regular newspaper column or something in a gardening magazine, it is hilarious and thank you both for your stroke of genius in this post.
Kxxxx ;D
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Thanks for the review Lottiedolly. However, I feel it only right to point out that all that you read is , in deed, completely factual and accurate. Any humor is completely coincidental ;D ;D ;D
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I concur completely, it was a very serious competition, i always thought folks laughing at it showed lack of class. present company excepted.
Caroline, seeing as though the floods took my baby Jack and we didn't have a true winner, and bless your heart you turned down the cup as you didn't want to win by default. I wonder if we should start that winter veg compo we have talked about for years.. now I know coming from Wales, you may feel quite confident you have the upperhand on leeks, but I might just challenge that a Yorkshire Canadian might be capable of knocking that one off the history books pages..
Shall we....
Think on it and I will meet you on a fresh page.. dare you, your heritage is at stake, how could you not.
XX Jeannine