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General => The Shed => Topic started by: undercarriage plan on January 06, 2006, 19:00:22

Title: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: undercarriage plan on January 06, 2006, 19:00:22: Sorry, just need to get this off my chest....Any other parents fed up to the back teeth with organising kids birthdays and not getting any blessed replies!! It's sooooo rude!! One year organised Dan's, didn't get one reply and yet they all trooped up for the fun bit.....
And as for party bags!!! I am evil, cos I don't do party bags and when they ask where's their party bag, I hand them a squished piece of cake and a greasy serviette ;D.....OK grrrr over....
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: eileen on January 06, 2006, 19:05:15: Soooooooooooo glad my days of doing kids parties are over. ::)
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: undercarriage plan on January 06, 2006, 19:09:39: Well, don't laugh Eilleen, this year I've farmed Meg's13th out to...erm....Sticky Stephs..... :-\ Her dad is doing a disco and I can manage a polite grin for about 10 min, but 3 hours.....too much to ask.. ;)
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: moonbells on January 06, 2006, 19:25:58: Quote from: undercarriage plan on January 06, 2006, 19:00:22
Sorry, just need to get this off my chest....Any other parents fed up to the back teeth with organising kids birthdays and not getting any blessed replies!! It's sooooo rude!! One year organised Dan's, didn't get one reply and yet they all trooped up for the fun bit.....
And as for party bags!!! I am evil, cos I don't do party bags and when they ask where's their party bag, I hand them a squished piece of cake and a greasy serviette ;D.....OK grrrr over....

Any invitation these days with RSVP on has a tendency to be ignored.

I only got 2/3 of my wedding invitations replied to properly - some folk didn't even bother contacting my parents and preferred to just phone me whereas others followed the exact textbook replies with proper cards. These were in general the older people. We had to chase the rest... and this is with folk knowing full well that a no-reply means no food... Some folk dithered until the week of the caterer's final numbers deadline!

I usually send out invitations these days with a caveat - please let me know by X date for catering purposes - anyone not replying by then will have to bring their own!! (And this is for adults - we don't have kids yet!)

moonbells
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: Carol on January 06, 2006, 19:32:34: Lost count the number of times I have given a wedding gift and had no 'thank you' letter. Society today is definately down the tubes, absolutely no manners. Same with giving a gift for a new baby. Thank you, some folk dont know the meaning of the word. I give up. Its our nieces wedding this year, soon, in March. She is having a big reception and I just wonder how she will get on with RSVPs. moan over..
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: dibberxxx on January 06, 2006, 19:33:05: i am with Eileen on this one lottie , i am so glad my party days are over , loads of hyperactive kids driving me mad ;D ;D ;D suppose the next party's i will be planning will be sons 18th ,
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: lorna on January 06, 2006, 19:39:19: Couldn't agree more. The friend who's party we went to New Years Eve said he had invited many more people, he catered with food and drink in case they turned up. Not even a phone call to say they couldn't make it.
My kids were lucky with my surprise party in Sept, except for one old friend who had moved they had a 99% result to the invitations.
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: undercarriage plan on January 06, 2006, 19:41:26: It's not so bad, only erm 12 more years..... :'( :'( :'( Well, when/if you do Moonbells, don't ever start with party bags!!! It's one saving grace, I never have so my kids never expect them, but some of the things they bring home are unbelievable!! They must each be worth over a fiver.. :o It's like the kids going to the party are getting a pressie for going....
Your idea about a date is a really good one. For next kids' birthday I may add "Please reply by x date or be prepared for boot up the backside".... ;D
Your niece ought to do something similar, Carol, wish I'd have thought of it....
How rude, Lorna...they only had to pick up the phone....tst....need booting, I think.
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: joji on January 06, 2006, 19:42:28: I always put R.S.V.P. at the bottom of the invite. I also put no reply no entry to the party and slip a little note in to the parents saying that I MUST know if there child is comming. It works every time. ;D
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: Jesse on January 06, 2006, 19:52:47: The worst I've had is no reply to the rsvp and then they turned up anyway and brought a couple of friends too!
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: lorna on January 06, 2006, 20:20:50: Jesseveve.. Sorry but I just had to laugh at that, can imagine your face when they all turned up!!! :o :o :o Not funny I know!!
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: undercarriage plan on January 06, 2006, 20:21:41: It's really hard, Jess, isn't it, cos I had that with Dan's last year, and felt like grrrrring and not letting them in!! But only person hurt then would have been Dan. Worst one was Jack's, few years back, had barely any replies and we had it a Kidz Kingdom :P 2 turned up, then the others who hadn't replied did too.....to someone else's party.... Luckily they all played together, but nearly gave the parents more than a boot...
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: redimp on January 06, 2006, 21:22:34: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: terrace max on January 06, 2006, 21:25:41: Is that why this thread is so.. well...WIDE...Clanger's big grrrr - or is my PC having a turn?
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: undercarriage plan on January 06, 2006, 21:27:57: Ad's Grrrrr, think he's tad miffed... ::) Well, it is blinkin annoying, so grrrr away.....it'll be on topic after all... ;D
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: busy_lizzie on January 07, 2006, 00:21:56: We held an engagement party for my daughter and her fiance on 5th November last year. We organised lots of food, drink, a fireworks display, a quiz, and a pianist as well as having CD's played. We invited 60 people with (you have guessed it) RSVP on the invitations. How many people do you think replied. One !! Loads of people did turn up, but without confirming it to us. It was so infuriating!! We were so nervous in case we had gone to all that trouble for nothing right up to the time people started to arrive. Why don't people have the good manners to respond? ??? busy_lizzie
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: Nathan on January 07, 2006, 00:32:05: I blame the parents....
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: Mrs Ava on January 07, 2006, 00:36:22: I harrass the parents, I corner them by the gates and quiz them. Tis very rude indeedy! Got over it now, this year ours don't want big parties, they both want bowling parties, so 5 chums to the bowling alley - burgers and chips and fizzy pop, slab of birthday cake and job done! Easy peasy!!
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: Jimbo on January 07, 2006, 05:03:17: I'm planning my wee girl's First Birthday Party, and have booked the local Community Hall. There is a limit to the number of 'nippers' allowed to attend (no more than thirty kids), owing to supervisory and safety issues. We are currently constructing a list of invitees, and my ever-so-talents OH is designing invitations.

As my baby is so young, there is to be a Soft Play area. The Hall's Rules & Regs require that no shoes be worn in the Soft Play, but socks are a must (not a problem for my girl, as she tries to take her shoes off at the drop of a hat), I asked my OH to state this on the invite, in case some poor toddler arrives in sandals, but without the required socks, and she jumped down my throat!!! "Who would send their children to a party without socks?" she cried. The debate continues, but I feel certain that if my girl was attending a similar function, I would be grateful to parents who informed me of any similar requirements.

As numbers are limited, I will also be insisting on a (written) RSVP (as my OH sometimes forgets to tell me things), and I will be standing by the entrance on the day, with clip-board and pen in hand, checking off the kids who arrive against my RSVP list, inspecting toddlers for socks, and "Red-Carding" those who do not meet muster (they can watch through the window).

BTW, any of you living in the Cardiff Area with toddlers, the party is on the 4th March (Saturday after St David's Day). RSVP by PM (Socks required).
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: Derek on January 07, 2006, 08:35:21: I totally agree with the comments made about bad manners.

I honestly don't think many people in this day and age know what RSVP actually means... maybe it would be better and less stressful to replace RSVP with...."Please confirm that you will be coming"

Derek
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: Multiveg on January 07, 2006, 13:05:05: You could have said that as no-one replied, then you didn't get any party bags as no-one was coming!
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: undercarriage plan on January 07, 2006, 13:33:26: Good point, Derek....Multi, if I did that, then the little darlings would then have to miss out on my lecture about in my day, we considered ourslves lucky and yardy, yardy yar....it's the highlight of the party for me, really.. ;D
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: agapanthus on January 07, 2006, 13:39:38: organised a bbq for our allotment...had posters put up....borrowed big marquee type thing and huge bbq....spent a fortune on meat (nice free range stuff...pork steak, lamb etc)..minimum charge of £3.75 per head (bring your own booze)...had lots of people say they were coming......on the day only about 10 people turned up....5 of which were my family! (30 were estimated to have come)....no phone calls or notes to say they were'nt coming.....and to top it off someone who did come nicked all our booze!!!! Still hav'nt had apologies after 4 months...and it cost me dearly:(
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: undercarriage plan on January 07, 2006, 13:46:38: That's awful, Agapanthus, you must have been hopping mad, all that work and expense.......At least with my sagas, only had to pay for the number of kids that showed up.
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: Carol on January 07, 2006, 13:49:53: Oh I dont know, I really despair with todays society. Same thing happened in our village with an organised BBQ with football match for the under 10s. Oh yes, they were all coming, up to 60 boys plus parents. A huge BBQ was organised and you guessed it, only enough boys 15 to form 2 teams and 1 girl played to form 8 a side football. We were left with all the food. In a way I am pleased to hear it happens all over, cos I was beginning to think it was just this area. Not nice at all......

??? ??? ???
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: undercarriage plan on January 07, 2006, 13:56:55: I wonder why, though? ??? It seems to have got so much worse over the last 7-8 years. When Meg was little, everyone answered, now it's only the odd reply, if that.
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: busy_lizzie on January 07, 2006, 13:59:42: Agapanthus and Carol, I really sympathise with your experiences. It must have beens so disheartening for you both to have put that amount of work in and to have been let down so badly. Such a shame!! Why are people like that? ??? busy_lizzie
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: Carol on January 07, 2006, 14:07:43: Don't know if I am off topic or not, but here goes. Our village used to have a Festival week when a young girl (14) used to be crowned the 'Maid' for a year. It was a whole week of fun with loads of activities going on. Mind you a lot of the entertainment was for the adults. Now that has stopped because none of the young women in the village want to take on the responsibilities of running the Festival week. The 'old' committee had been doing it for decades and they felt it time to give it up. So, now there is no Festival Week. and the young mothers keep asking the 'old' committee when the Festival is going to start up again. Not one of them is prepared to form a committee. They want their cake and eat it but don't ask any of them to do anything. Sorry Dan, if I am off topic.
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: undercarriage plan on January 07, 2006, 14:11:37: I don't think it is Carol, it's the same everywhere, only ever a few prepared to do anything, yes all want to enjoy these events. There's 5 of us do the school disco, and about 300 turn up, but if you ask for volunteers behind the bar, or to sell tickets, they are all busy that night.....funny how they're all there at the disco though.... I end up doing the bar... ;D ;D ;D love it actually, takes me back to my barmaid days......
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: lorna on January 07, 2006, 14:25:59: Bad Manners? I have had occasion to chastise my own family. I always give the Grandchildren money for their birthdays. I do not see my daughters three girls very often and so give the money to my daughter to pass on to them . In August I sent two of them money via my daughter (sisters) just a year between them. No phone call. All my other G.children either thank me in person or phone me. The two girls apologised to me at my birthday party. They were given a quick lesson in good manners so I don't think that will happen again. Mind you they are both lovely ;D and I love them dearly.
Title: just have to say
Post by: redimp on January 07, 2006, 14:32:39: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: undercarriage plan on January 07, 2006, 14:45:07: Ady? Erm.....that is a really big grrrrr..... care to share? OK, nevermind....just curious...... :-X
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: redimp on January 07, 2006, 15:13:30: Manners are important to me.
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: undercarriage plan on January 07, 2006, 15:27:22: OK..grrrrr away then... :)
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: Robert_Brenchley on January 07, 2006, 17:38:57: I think the local Sierra Leone Association Christmas dance has had it after this year. It raised £350 for a charity which is putting libraries and computers in schools over there, but one woman was left to do all the cooking, and she was really angry about it. Don't blame her; a lot of food gets eaten.
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: RSJK on January 07, 2006, 20:20:10: I cannot stand bad manners, and am afraid aswell as blaming parents for not teaching them ,I blame the TV how many times do you hear people on the soaps etc ask for something and never say please or thank you. What kind of example does this set.
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: undercarriage plan on January 07, 2006, 20:33:49: It's a mad world, PC has gone mad and yet common manners have gone flying out of the window..... :(
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: Plocket on January 07, 2006, 21:20:34: I have to admit that I'm quite surprised by your comments. I was brought up to reply to an invite, and send a thank you note for a gift. And I still do it. The same applies for LP - obviously I have to reply for her where party invites are concerned, and I have to write the thank you notes, but she draws the picture on the card and signs her name as she is only just 4. We've had parties every year for LP and so far we've only had one person not reply, and thankfully they didn't turn up to the party. I think the people who ignore RSVPs or don't reply to invitations are incredibly rude! I do wonder though how many people have read this thread and ignored it because they act the same way with invitations!!!!!
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: lorna on January 07, 2006, 21:34:19: Plocket. Yes makes you wonder!! I went up to our friend at New Year to thank him for a cracking party. Not sure if he understood what I was saying, he was well gone!! So, although he cannot read or write I have sent a written thank you and asked his son to read it to him.
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: grawrc on January 07, 2006, 22:24:40: Today my granddaughter (4) said to me: Oma (she calls me Oma) this is the second time I've told you I want you to turn the light on. I just dropped a red clanger:
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRR
;)
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: Wicker on January 07, 2006, 22:45:04: Very enlightening thread this - and I almost feel I should apologise to all of you who put time and effort in to organise public events as I have to admit I am one who is usually to be found slinking away into the background. But I would never not reply or not turn up and do always ring people up to thank them next day as, having put on plenty of parties (adult and kids) at home I know it is very rare to get a "thank you".

Lottie
Quote
It's a mad world, PC has gone mad and yet common manners have gone flying out of the window
That's it in a nutshell!
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: moonbells on January 07, 2006, 23:52:23: On the events where nobody turned up after all the catering was organised, I'd be tempted to charge in advance. Then at least nobody's out of pocket, and you can always try and get rid of uneaten food by phoning a local shelter or something.

Besides, folk are much more likely to turn up if they've paid in advance. Nobody likes to see their own personal money wasted.

Perhaps the Daily Mail ought to have a letter written to it for its next grumble about society! ie if we stop being overly PC and just teach manners, then the PC will look after itself if folk respect each other from the start!

A related grumble for me is the assumption by people you've never met, just spoken to on the phone, that you don't object to being called by your first name or that (as a woman) they can assume you're happy being called Ms. (Anyone working for the Guardian please take note! It doesn't take many seconds to ask someone their title!)

moonbells
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: Icyberjunkie on January 08, 2006, 08:49:02: ...and I may have missed this but what bugs me over and above thise that don't reply is those that bring along the siblings with the expectation that they will also be able to join in and be catered for!!

Do they think a little prayer suddenly makes more food appear????
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: Derek on January 08, 2006, 09:12:57: The various comments have brought back so many memories of the days when I was involved with organising many regular events.
I am currently involved with running a series of Roadshows throughout the UK, these are sponsored by several suppliers who provide a room and buffet .. ALL FREE but the people who wish to come have to pre-book.

They are told, all the way through, that the event is free but if they don't show up then a charge of £25. 00 per head is made... this amount then goes to the sponsors to reimburse their cost.

If I organise any event these days then no booking is confirmed until payment is received... no refunds are given.

If you suggest an event suddenly everyone wants to come ....until you ask for money...its amusing to hear all the excuses

Derek
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: amanda21 on January 08, 2006, 09:15:37: Oh I am so glad my kiddies party days have gone by! ;)

If any of find Lynne Truss' new book "Talk to the Hand" - have a read. It is great and really makes you wonder about our bad mannered and mouthed society!

I for one always reply and expect a reply. Always write thank you notes and again would expect one (or a phone call - I'm even ok with an email!!!) and I encourage my kids to write them too.

And the reason why nobody wants to organise events now is probably because of all the people who never turn up! ;)
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: redimp on January 08, 2006, 11:28:56: I agree with you moonbells - it has always been my belief that PC is just good manners. It is only a few crackpot people who go a bit too far with PC. The trouble is papers like the Mail give them far too much air time and make them seem far more important than they actually are - it's a bit like their 1980s campaign to expose lefty vicars - can anybody remember that one?

Just because I hate it so much I will reaffirm that the Mail supprted Hitler (complete with prejudices against Jewish people leading to the 'final solution') and campaigned on behalf of Moseley.
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: Robert_Brenchley on January 08, 2006, 21:22:06: They haven't changed either. I remember the 'lefty vicars' thing well, along with the poisonous campaigns against David Jenkins when he was Bishop of Durham. The 'lefty' stuff was no more left-wing than Harold Wilson's Labour Party, with very few exceptions. I'm a lot further left than that lot ever were; if you're not a conformist, you won't make a vicar!
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: moonbells on January 09, 2006, 08:17:40: Anyone else seen this article? Perfect timing! Anyone would think the BBC reads A4A...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/4245754.stm

I love the last line...

moonbells
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: undercarriage plan on January 09, 2006, 09:30:05: I think it's where they probably get most of their ideas for articles, Moonbells, we do cover several subjects.. ;D
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: redimp on January 09, 2006, 19:07:34: Not anymore we don't - the two frivolous conversation threads have been locked by Dan :(
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: Delilah on January 09, 2006, 19:13:33: Great article Moonbells :)

A case could be argued for our lack of manners by not sticking to topic in Thread Discipline :(
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: redimp on January 09, 2006, 19:17:31: Yes, but we all minded our manners by sticking to not having a topic in 'please delete' Also, cannot see anybody being guilty of the bad manners alleged in Dan's message at the top of the board. I know we veered slightly off topic in the discipline thread and this piqued some people but the arguements were on principle and not personal.
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: undercarriage plan on January 09, 2006, 19:19:14: You're more than welcome to come to the moon, Ady..... we're insisting on good manners from both Russ and the goat....
Title: Re: Bad Manners...grrrrr
Post by: Delilah on January 09, 2006, 19:22:15: I take your point Ady, suppose its all in the eye of the beholder, more folks thought it was wrong than didn't I guess and Dan has to keep the masses happy.