Allotments 4 All
General => News => Topic started by: Icyberjunkie on December 17, 2005, 15:48:46
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Been working all day with the unmown lawn mocking me as I never got to it after the warm Autumn so had about 8 inches of growth!
So as it was reasonably dry thought I'd get my own back so have just finished all my grass. Trouble is neighbours now think I am truly mad having done so this late in December.
Do you think if I strip to my boxer shorts, get Madonna blaring out Holiday on the speakers and sit out in a chair I could convince them its summer. Maybe the addition of a BBQ would do the trick.....
What dya think? 8) ;D
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Well if you do, please, please , please post a pic!!! ;D ;D ;D ;)
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Dare You ;D ;D 8)
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Our neighbour was cutting his lawn (not sure your really could call it that) today, I thought he was totally barmy! Now I know he's not the only one ;D
Would love to see you in your shorts icy ;) ;D
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Perfectly sane if you ask me. I have been cutting mine once a fortnight since....well since 2005!! It was like a shag pile yesterday and littered with leaves, to a nice short back and sides and it now looks very neat and tidy. Now the neighbours know what I am like about gardening so would expect nothing less, but if I were out there Christmas day.......... ::)
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Well mine is going to have to wait until next spring now, but the idea of the barbeque appeals ...
Derekthefox ;D
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My couch grass doesn't know the meaning of the word December - I've read it a dictionary definition, I've reminded it about the seasons, we've discussed the notion of dormancy, but no - it's still bl**dy growing >:( ;D ;D
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Ah well you see, you forgot the stern look and finger waggling... ::) ;)
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And then I'll send it all to stand in a corner - result ;D
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well done that girl!! Now be tough and don't let it back til it agrees to stay in a tiny weeny area, and spontaneously turn into sweetcorn..... ;D
well, what's Christmas without a few wishes....
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BUt life being what it is...when it does move into the corner you can grab the flame flower cunningly hidden under your bobble hat and waste those vermin, or bomb them, or nuke 'em or, or or......
oh yes - I don't like couch grass by the way ;D
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My master plan at the moment goes along the lines of
1) send the couch grass to the corner til it sees the error of its ways (so - for ever!)
2) train/cajole/intimidate/mesmerise/bribe or whatever it takes the slugs into believing that couch is gourmet slug food
3) enjoy the rest of my couch/slug free plot in complete organic smugness ;D
(fall back position is the flame thrower ;D ;D)
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My master plan at the moment goes along the lines of
1) send the couch grass to the corner til it sees the error of its ways (so - for ever!)
2) train/cajole/intimidate/mesmerise/bribe or whatever it takes the slugs into believing that couch is gourmet slug food
3) enjoy the rest of my couch/slug free plot in complete organic smugness ;D
(fall back position is the flame thrower ;D ;D)
But I don't have any couch grass, how am I going to get rid of my slugs?
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Yes, but I don't throw very well.
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Wardy!!! I'm shocked and surprised at you..... ::) You sit the slugs in a row, and explain in a firm but friendly manner, your problem with their eating habits.....have prepared a few bowls of alternatives for them to try.....if this doeasn't work, then at least you've got them all lined up, should help you aim, Mike..
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.....if this doesn't work, then at least you've got them all lined up, should help you aim, Mike..
Do you think they would line up for me! :o a mere man, goody this I've got to try. (I suspect you are really taking the p*ss and I'll be out there all night and they'll ignore me).
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That not very nice for the slugs. I mean its like shooting pheasants on the ground instead of on the wing. Not that I've shot anything either way of course.
Nope it just wonlt do. What you have to do is stalk them, enjoy the chase, then get them with salt. If you want a real challenge you could set yourself a limit on distance and on only throwing one salt grain at a time. The best thing is by the time you've cleared the plot of slugs it will be spring again ;D
I have also been seen slightly inebriated in the late summer evenings giggling manically at the vision of msyelf as I've waondered the garden with a stick in one hand and beer in the other. NOooooooooooooo you idiots! I DRINK the beer. The stick is for picking up slugs and then slinging them over the garden wall trusting to luck that I don't hit any pedestrians or cars as they foolishly walk or drive past............. ;D ;D ;D
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So are you saying that I can't get them to line up for me
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After all that I'm not sure - I think so....but never tried.......only LOttie is THAT mad!! ::)
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Is that the same LOttie that does thigh slapping in the A4 panto? ???
:) :) :) :) :)
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Thats the same one so be scared, be VERY scared....{GG}. She locks her men in the shed you know and only brings them out when she wants something <shiver>
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Wot like wanting your sweets and things
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If she has an axe in her hand Mike you had better get ready to hand over the sweets.......and things!
Derek
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Nah I'll get AD to help me. He's bigger than her, I know cos he pushed 'er off the sofa.
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Don't underestimate the lass Mike...
My Governor is only five foot two inches and she scares the hell out of me when she's angry which is thankfully not very often ;)
Derek
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Mike, I've googled "How to get your slugs to line up..." and booked you on a course......don't say I never do anything for you...
Icy....just.....oh dear..... ;D ;)
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Mike - I only just read your sad plight re no couch grass so stuck on what to do with wayward slugs. Problem solved - I spent part of my Christmas digging you up some lovely fresh couch roots and have carefully packed them so that they won't suffer any damage in the post - so, if you just pm me your address, I'll get them straight off to you. No, really, no need to thank me ... I'll do the same for anyone who wants any .... ;D ;D
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Thanks ellkebe,
That's one of the things I like about this site the generosity of the members, but sometimes not having something is good for charactor development. So thanks again but I'll pass this time and if the lack gets to much I'll come back to you. It would only be fair though if we swapped, so bindweed?, Japanese knotweed? I'll find something nice OK.
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So that's a no then Mike?
Ok, still wanting to help, so how about I send you some of my trained-up slugs later in the year, and they can help you train up yours? Obviously, they're not particularly bright animals, but if I send sufficient quantities, I'm sure it'd be a success.
Yes? No? ......
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Might need to wait until I've done the "How to get your slugs to line up..." course that lottie has booked for me. It could well be that after the course I will be able to go solo. Thanks again for your generosity be sure I will think of a way to repay you. (twirls his moustache and exits stage left).
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Starts Jan 10th, and you have to bring your own slugs.....and wake them up first....can't be doing with sloppy slug control....
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Starts Jan 10th,
How can I go on the 10th with all this to celebrate and remember
1840
In Britain, Sir Rowland Hill introduces the 'Penny Post'. An estimated 112,000 letters are posted in London on the first day.
1863
British Prime Minister William Gladstone opens the first section of London's Underground Railway - the 'Metropolitan' line runs from Paddington to Farringdon Street - stopping at 7 stations along the route.
1890
Archaeologists find the tomb of Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt
1900
British Field Marshal, Frederick Lord Roberts, arrives in South Africa to take over as Commander in Chief of the British forces fighting the Boer War.
1901
Oil is discovered in Texas, USA.
1907
Austria passes a bill to extend the vote to all males aged 24 or over.
1920
Ratification of the 'Treaty of Versailles' - officially bringing an end to World War I.
1920
The League of Nations holds its first meeting at Geneva. The organisation is dissolved in 1946 and replaced by the United Nations.
1929
First appearance of the cartoon strip character 'Tin-Tin'.
1946
First United Nations' General Assembly is held in London.
1957
Harold Macmillan becomes Prime Minister following the resignation of Sir Anthony Eden
Be reasonable
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You could always go for gold and upgrade to the slugs masterclass. That way you could you train the slugs to act out each occasion for you. Ta ra! Problem solved......think I'll finish this bottle of scotch now....... ;D
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;D ;D ;D
Icy, how can you expect him to do the Master Class without doing the Introduction course first.... ::) Poor man will have out of control slugs running around all over the place, nothing more dangerous than a half trained slug...put the scotch down...and finish cutting that grass!
Mike, I really think you need to get your priorities straight...
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Don't think I haven't tried, but the curling tongs seem to be broken.
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Slugs don't have hair.... ::)
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:) :) :) Idiot! :D :D They're for straighting me priorities
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You need straighteners then... ::) ::) ::) ;) and I was a lady a minute ago!! ;D