Allotments 4 All
General => The Shed => Topic started by: Ozzy_aka_Pothead on November 21, 2003, 06:31:24
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(color+dedTheatricalloike)Yo Peeps
as the rugby is now ded boring cuz the most exciting team in the world, packed it all in cuz it waz getting ded silly like
Where's our Panto???????
I have been practising me panto tree impresh for ages ..... look.... MoOooooooooooooooooooo
Now ifs any of yooze finks you can top that, then ooooooh you biatch:) I iz the only panto tree game in town so sling your hook, bleding blonking scene stealers, MOOOOOOOOOOOOO
see you iz outclassed, Omar couldntt be a better tree than me. so why iz you trying to steal my scene mahn?
So I iz the panto tree (which incidently is ded hard to do, unless you are rada trained, like my left twig. even if I saysi myself, my left twig is just toooooooo talented for this malarky. in fact me twig sez 39bills squid or make your own blinking panto without a twig ofmy calibre.... MoooooooooooOOOO
see you dont get twigs like that. so ifs you want to be in the play,..... then dont go for the Tree part, cuz, letz be fair.... you just aint got the talent...... Mooooooo OINK OINK
(thats me showing off me multi dimensional acting skills that iz, wuz gonna go... mooooooooooo oink oink BAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH, but that would just be showing off, and the "Bahaaaaaaaa" might be just too much for Hugh :))
Thespian alert
OzzY %)
xxxxxxx I love you all but please ......
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Fear not oZzY. When you are standing centre stage being a tree (with RADA trained twigs), I shall be the rear half of the animal that wanders on stage and generously waters your trunk and roots - keep your wellies on under your costume!
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...keep drinking the liquids, Hugh...we're going to need about 4.5 litres in a container 12"x8"x8" to keep the Leading Lady happy...
Maureen, the Goldfish-with-Attitude has developed Thespian traits and all afternoon has been going "mwaa, mwaa, mwaa" to me whenever I pass..
Pretentious, or wot?? - Lishka
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WELCOME BACK LISHKA
Presumably Maureen`s utterances are portrayed in the form of speech bubbles?
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HI Alishka lovely to see you back do hope you are very well :D shall we all go and see OZZY in panto cheer him on ;D.Suze o is also back so it will be nice to be on the boards again.OTGF every one ahs vanished from the little community we had so what is going to happen to our partys :(.i have just been a couch potatoe for a couple of hours watching children in need :'(. Makes you feel sad there are so many sad and poorly children.
the money raised does make a difference though.
cheers for now take care Rosebud :)
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Yo peeps
I have found sum pics of the auditions try and guess which one iz me.....
Y Y Y Y Y Y
Y Y Y
Been learning me lines too...... Whooooosh Shim sim shim shimmer, rustle whooosh.. I iz a good tree I iz, guess theothers didnt get the part cuz the iz to wooden..
Yo Lishka xxxxx nice to see you back girl :) :) :)
cHeErS
oZzY %)
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Hi 'Lishka
Nice to see you - to see you nice! Hope is all Ok with you.
Panto? Do you remember back on the other side John was going to write one? And I bagged the Wicked Fairy role. Well, got me wings out of the attic and polished up me magic wand and are ready and waiting.
All it needs is someone to pull the threads together and we could open on Boxing Day.
bws xxx
p.s. ain't Rosebud a sweetie!
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Yo Suze
Iz remembers John Fingybob dead well, and feel sure tht he will show up, cuz he knows what a catch I iz thespinarianly speaking.... Pluus also remembers yooze wanting the "wicked Withch" part.... thats why I got me tree in..... its a more demanding part... but a part I iz dead up too.. cuz afterall ev1 knows that trees are there to be hugged.... and I do like to insist on only the the scenes thats has hugs in.. I may be typecasting meself here,but, itz the nearest role rudey wise :):)but its a role I feel dead cool abowt... When I sez role I meanz role as in acting and not role as in swiss..
What does the wicked witch do to the dead handsome tree?
OzzY
xxxxx
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p.s. ain't Rosebud a sweetie!
hmmmmmm like a sherbert dib-dab?
she can sit in my tree anyday of
the week ;)
Y Y Y Y YYYY yyY Y (just rehearsing for the panto, does you likes the ways I can mimilise :)) Iz dead good at acting I iz... watch,,,
Y Y Y Y d d d Y Y Y Y
see how I carried on being a tree, even when I forgot me lines?
God I wuz born to do theatre ::)
Ozzy (sees I stills aint writing ChEeRs, cuz biggy smally is just So So yesterday ::)
oh and as I iz a luvvy
xxxxxxxXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXXXX XXXXX
Y
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Tell yer wot about the Panto..
So far, we've got a tree (Oz)
A Wicked Fairy (Suze)
Surely a Panto Dame (Hugh) ;D - he'd be wasted as the rear end of a cow..
If we did The Sleeping Beauty, Rosebud, by her name, lends herself to be the Princess...
Or how about Robin Hood?
Oz still (and always) a tree - the Mighty Oak?? Can you manage 'Mighty', Oz??
Hugh is Friar Tuck...
Maid Marion?
The Sheriff?
Little John??
Lots of other characters, too...
Or Cinderella?? Which branch of the family would Oz be, I wonder??
So...which Panto do we do is the first consideration..
Thoughts?? - Lish
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Aaaahh - I wanted to be Friar Tuck :'(
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........ How about ...... a lad in kilts ...... a variation on the theme of aladdin..
........ or .. Snow White and the Seven Gardeners?
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How about Jack and the Beanstalk OZZY could be the beanstalk i could climb up and give him a hug ::) COS he likes huggy pantomimes 8).who could be the bean though ???mmmmm no maybe not :-Xor no no no !!!!!!!
suggestions please.
i rather like the idea of being a princess though :) :) :)
Rosebud.
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I think I'm more of an has bean..... so not me
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Aaaahh - I wanted to be Friar Tuck :'(
Yo BB
Personally I dont give a friar tuck who plays him :) aslong as your not trying to sneak in and steal me tree part, then thats okay, cuz yooze haves to keep yer eyes peeled and look out for
suspicious cake tht can cause a baddy tummy and next fing yooze nose, the peep who gave you the cake is now playing the tree, thanks 4 the warning mate, no cake for this Jose :)
"To tree or not to tree, that is
the biscuit that takes the cake"
sees I haves all the bestest lines ::)
oZzY %)
Can I do mighty? Lish is the pope not a protestant? given the choice? I know ifs I wuz the pope, (which I iznt) I would convert to metric, no not metric.I would convert to the natural law party, I wood.... OHMMM ummmmmmmmmm yummmmmm yummmmmm.. sees I iz wasted ) :)
:)
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Aaaahh - I wanted to be Friar Tuck :'(
But BB...Little John is B....I.....G, whilst Friar Tuck is just, well, old...
I'm getting to like the idea of Robin Hood, tho...lots going on in Sherwood Forest, what with boxing tortoises, an' all... and how about EJ for Maid Marion??
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...and, of course, Ragged-Robin for...er...whatshisname..er....
Robin ;D ;D
Go on...hands up for Robin Hood??
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Go on then - I'll be little John :D (It's just I thought I had the belly to play the beer swilling Friar that's all)
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OK, this should be a laugh ;D what do you lot think i should be ??? .
Only clean answers please, well, it's up to you ????????????
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Well...Jethro....you've laid yourself wideopen there!! :o ::) ;D
You could always be another tree........(much smaller than Ozzy's ...of course)...... but I could still probably manage to perch on your twig ........oops ! ....sorry..........branch!! ::) ;D ;)
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and.............me being a black and white bird.............if you happened to be painted red and white.....I'd be sorely tempted to leave a nasty deposit!!! ;D ;D ;D
P.S. This will probably only make sense to Geordies!! ;) ;D
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Hi MD, Red & White ( spit, spit) no bonny lass i bleed black & white, have done for the past 38 years ;D .
You should have heard the saying by now ' the smaller the nail, the harder you hammer it in' ;D ;) .
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:o :o :o :o :o
How many years?? ??? ::)
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Thanks Lishka, mind you.... am 'sweet' enough to be the Maid Marion ;) On the up side, it means I get to play with Robin?? Yep - I will do it! Happy Days!!! ;D
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That's not fair EJ!! :'( :'( :'(
Why have I got the cr*p part?? ???
Must change my username...pronto!! ;D
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P.S. This will probably only make sense to Geordies!! ;) ;D
Only the Geordies?
Get away wiv ya pet, Eyes undurstunds all that like me... gotta go mow cuz me fishy is on the dishy like and whe the boat cums in like, there be plenty more where that cum from, why eye the fog on the tynee iz all mine all mine and I has left me tabs down the bookies so I have.::)
If anyone understands that, ten quite frankly Id be amazed :)
Hmmmm Robin Hood?? loads of trees in that, so as no one else can play a tree like I can
and given the extra work, I am going to have to go to the gym nd get meself in shape... I like my thespinarian talents stretched to the limits.. heres me weeping willow....
(((I)))
((I))
(I)
I
I
okay so I looks like a glass of wine, but it is short notice...
oZzY %)
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That's not fair EJ!! :'( :'( :'(
Why have I got the cr*p part?? ???
Tut, child! Luvvie behaviour before we even start?? :-*mwaa :-*mwaa..
Now then, you're gonna be really central to where the action's at...Oz the Mighty Oak has never, ever had it so good (possibly)...
Underneath him he will have Ina, a Magic Mushroom known as The Dutch Cap, while sitting on his head will be The Most Magnificent Magpie (you reading this, Oz...how's yer blood pressure??) and you will be defending Robin from the Dastardly Sheriff....
..or something ;D
btw...shouldn't Hugh be The D.S.?? Isn't Friar Tuck too avuncular a character for Hugh?
Oh, and we can have a Tavern on the Green - and how about Legless as the Landlady?? And Mimi the French Serving Wench (unless she goes all consumptive on us & buggers off to sing opera somewhere, of course...)
Tim should be another of the Forest Friends..(a bit like Bambi, perhaps??)
And, to add injury to injury, I've twisted Jethro's arm & he's going to be the Most Amazing High Profile Prop Man & do wondrous Special Effects...
ahhhhh.... I could go on, but think it's time for another pill & lie-down..
Back later - Lishka
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Me me me ..what am I to be.ah now there a line.... 2b or not 2b, that is the question..actually the question is what parts are left? (or right?) Dp
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Yo Lish
Ina...magic mushroom.. dutch caphad me in stitches that did :) :) :)
reminded me of that song..... ahem....
I saw dutch cap..
Where?
There on the stairs
where on the stairs?
right there.
The little dutch cap had clogs on
going clip clippty clop cloppitycappity tippity tappity oh yeah man I iz on one now :)
Glad you realise just how important thetree part iz.
You name any great film ever made and I will bet anyone ten parsnips that there is a tree in the film..... Lawrence of Arabia, The Sting, One flew over the cuckoo's nest, up in smoke, chity chitty bang bang, the list is endless but each one had a tree in it :) :) :)
Wish e old mate jm would turn up, he would soon put an end to the dressing room shinnanegans :)
cHeEs
oZzY %)
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Brill, DP ;)
Thing is...I've never actually been to a Panto, so get a bit more-than-usually confused (is Robin's horse called Silver, f'rinstance??!!)...so, am I right in thinking that there are The Baddies (ie the D.S.(Dastardly Sheriff) & his lot); then there are the Goodies (Robin, Friar Tuck,Little John - anyone else??) and the rest of that lot...then there's Maid Marion (does she co-habit with Robin or is she his Bit of Class from Nottingham? - I dunno)..then there's this weird tree in Sherwood Forest (hey! was listening to GQT this afters & apparently oaks are dying off, struck down by some Dread Disease :o I worry about Oz) and magpies & mushrooms & tortoises & elks and things in the forest (they're all Goodies & conspire against the DS etc)..and then the Baddies fight the Goodies and they all have a grand time and the Goodies win and go off to the Tavern and drink mead and eat asparagus & do some carousing and the Baddies get put in the stocks and get pelted with Eric's surplus bantam eggs and a good time is had by all...
You up for being a Goodie or a Baddie, then DP?
;D ;D Lishka
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Oz, do you still have your Beeb registration? Could we put out a call for John OTGF?? Last I heard, he wrote that his Boss had moved his desk to the front row (reminds me of school, that..) so his access to the Boards was going to be even more restricted. He only had access to a computer at work. Worth a try, tho?
(for those not ex-Beebies, John Myhill's a v.v.v.v.v.funny bloke & said that he did AmDrams & would do a Panto..and Oz has been practising being a tree since the summer ;D Lishka
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Yo Lish
havent been to the beeb for ages, fink I'll give it ago roite now,,,
waddya mean "practicing" all summer.... I haz a natural god given talent for wooden acting, practice is for those talentless dudes/dudesttes who suffer wiv delussions... me I jsut get the good old, run of the mill haluconations ::) talking of which did you know that Lewis Carol was well into LSD, aka Acid and not pounds shillings and pence :)
goona shoot to the beeb now
ttfn :)
oZzY %)
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hmmmmmmm nice to see sum things never change......
cant login on the beeb boards.. how strange.
dunno bowt anyone else, but this site rocks... cheers Dan
oZzY %)
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Hiya Oz,
Did you forget that Good Beebies are tucked up with their cocoa at 10 pm? ;) I'll put out a Loud Shout for him over there tomorrow - shall do the Dastardly thing and post over all the Boards ;D
Yep! Dan has done such a fine job here - which is why we must all act our sox off when the DS captures him for non-payment of Lottie Poll Tax and we have to rescue him...
:o ::) ;D
update: I've put out an ISO msg on the Beeb OTGF/Lotties/Gdg Clinic Boards - trying to stay on topic at each ;D ~ let's see if we can rouse him? (actually, we should send EJ over there ~ she'd rouse the Dead ;D :P) oh and btw...so busy was I concentrating on the uppy-downy letters in your name, I got the spelling wrong ::)..- Lish
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Yo Lish
Fair play to ya, have seen your posts on aunties boards, lets hope your labours bear fruit... gawd thats too profound mahn for this time of night?
"I would have brought you figs,.. but... I got my dates mixed up"
Philosophical or Wottt! see I iz a dead wise tree, thats why owls always sit in trees, cuz they iz learning from the tree..:) :)
dunno wotz rong wiv me tonite, all this "I think therefore I iz" thingy, see the DUP in Ulster are ahead.... worrying!!
Now iz getting political, fr christs sake.. now z iz getting all eclasti....ecla.... religious :)
gonna Zig
BBL
oZzY %)
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Lishka, you have never been to a panto :o oh no she hasn't, oh yes she has...he's behind you! Hisssssssssss boooooooooooo (Sherrif of Nottingham approaches stage left!) You must go!! It is a definate institution, tho why girls play the leading mens roles is beyond me! Don't forget we have to have a couple of dames, or ugly sisters.
I don't mind if I am a goody or a baddie, but have to say don't think my legs are good enough for a pair of green tights and a jerkin! :'( What i want to know is who is going to offer to play little Will? ;) Dottie P
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Any parts left for me?.... Not fussy what, although I've never been known to say no to a male part :P, especially after a couple of dandelion and burdock !!!
Have appeared in panto's in the dim distant past of my youth, credits include Prince Charming (perhaps, one of the merry men) , and Buttons - a sheriff's henchman perhaps?
......any other suggestions?.....
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Yo Robin
You could always play a tree? cuz Robin Hood has loads of trees in it, and I aint as young as I used to be and probably need a hand.
I see you have only played "Human" roles. so dont know if you iz up to the demands of playing a wood role? It aint easy, OH NO, can be dangerous too, as you have to do your own stunts, in the film "The Amazon Rainforest Masacre" I dun me back in when I was felled, by a NAUGHTY NAUGHTY tree choppy downy peep, instead of falling back into a ditch filled with cardboard boxes, I decided to adlib and improvise, I swayed here there and everwhere and when I fell backwards I was actually faling forwards cuz I went dizzy with all that swaying..... So if you iz up to it?
Could be good 4 your career too.. every film has a tree in it, cuz we bring so much to the production and add a bit off sophitication to the set...
What am I on about? Day Jar Voo? or a babble alert?
babble alert
oZzY %)
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Yo Robin
Dont feel obliged to be a tree cuz I iz shorthanded... O NO, to play a tree you have to give it 100% and I am the best tree out there, and playing sherwood forest, although challenging, not beyond me thespinarian reparte.... look
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
amazing what special effects I have at my disposal... I used stickyback plastic and mirrors to produce that... another but more trickier method is to
quantom leap loads of times, but each leap being no longer than a nano second, that way the human eye cant detect the leaping thus believing that they are indeed looking at a real forest :)
Def babble alert x 10
oZzY %)
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Oz,....... many many thanks for your kind invite to be part of your forest - am not sure I'm ready to branch out in that direction yet - plants being new to my repetoire, ... may be I should start with something more basic. An algae or a moss perhaps before I climb the evolutionary scale, or if all else fails, i could be a toadstool because you sound like a "fungi" to be with!!!!
Gosh that sounds abit forward, rest assured that I'm not suggesting any form of mycorhizzal association !!
Am just practising my double entendres for the panto
.........Oh no she isn't.....
.........Oh yes she is........
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Yo Robin
Wel fair play to ya, at least you know the limits of yer capabilities, unlike sum, last year this GIT thought he wood play a Sycamore... totally flooped, he bottled it when he realised that he just couldn't handle the advanced acting techniques required... peeps in the audience saw straight through hm and demanded their bread back... maybe I will psot a wanted add, post one even, (i dunt like edits)
Wanted
Dead good looking peep
Hard working and dillygent
able to stand for long periods
Must have gcse 4 in metalwork
need to play the part of a tree
I offer expert training and great career oppotunities as most films have trees in them
interested?
contact me through trancenmental messaging or by pigeon or by taking out a big add in the Observer saying just why you should be a tree? and if given the oportunity. howyou as a treewould improve the lot of mankind and ferrets
big big babble alert
oZzY %)
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Now look here Ozzy
You put me down for the wicked witch, in fact I am the wicked fairy remember - as agreed with John. You must have had too much red pop :o
Of course, where do fairies live? At the bottom of the garden of course. And where do trees live?
So expect me to be perched on your perfectly formed branches before flying across the stage weaving my magic in a maelstrom of sequins :D
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Yo Suze
I sees no reason why there cant be a wicked fairy in Robin Hood. we iz thunderbirders so we can wing it pice of cake :)
I am gong to do the music too..
I'm going to stick a stuffed owl
on 1of me branches and make out the owl is doing the tune... should sound like this... ahem
... Hoot-hoot hooooot
Hoot-hoot hooooot
Hooting hoot-hoot hooot
Hooty-hoot hooty hoot
hooty hooty hoooot
hoots twit twa woooo
wits-hooty- hhhhoooot
Hooty Hoot.. hoooty hoot
hoooty hooooooot,
Din't know that I can do musicals as well did ya?
Id like to incorporate sum tippity tappity too, but need to work on it.
Did you know that the bark that lassie used in lassie come home,was supplied by me great uncle after her played the tree in olklahoma? here I goes again
name dropper that I iz :)
OzZy %)
x
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Yo Ozzy
Didn't realise we had settled on Robin Hood Price of Thieves. Surely. Shirley, there are wicked fairies in every panto? Going to dye me hair green - so I can be the Poison Ivy Fairy. Wot you think - costume would work great with gossamer, leaves and buds don't you think?
Better start rehearsing me lines: To Ivy, or not to Ivy, that is the question ......
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Have all the parts been taken?I've been on my hols. so couldn't ask before .Surely you want some colourful Birds for your Forest?Please .Please .Please .
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And there's always a pond in a forest.I'm a very good dipper.I passed all my exams in dipping,and when you get thirsty,Ozzie the tree,I could let you have some water.So I could be "on tap".
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...to refresh your memories - well, cept OzZiE of course..lots of dead wood in that oak and 'sides, he got 'crowned out' yonks ago ::)