General => The Shed => Topic started by: MagpieDi on December 13, 2003, 17:24:44
Title: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: MagpieDi on December 13, 2003, 17:24:44
Girls......remember this guy?? ::) ;) ;D
On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.
One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"
For a moment there is silence. everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous! Tall, muscular, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:
"Iron this."
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: Doris_Pinks on December 13, 2003, 17:33:04
Ahahahahahaha!
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: Suze_O on December 13, 2003, 18:15:31
Love it Di :D :D :D
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: Mrs Ava on December 13, 2003, 19:29:21
;D har har har har har. so true! ;D
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: busy_lizzie on December 13, 2003, 20:30:19
Hi! I loved that one Diane! ;D Here's me thinking it was going to be saucy- had a great cackle at the end. Thanks! busy_lizzie :D
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: campanula on December 14, 2003, 01:15:02
LOL a lot
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: Hugh_Jones on December 14, 2003, 01:42:51
Excellent Di, but the average man would have probably taken off both his shirt and his trousers.
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: MagpieDi on December 14, 2003, 01:47:53
Take your point ;) Hugh......... ;D
.....but never his socks!! ::)
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: teresa on December 14, 2003, 20:26:58
That was great Di loved it. ;D Teresa
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: Ragged Robin on December 14, 2003, 22:16:17
What do you call a man with half a brain? ???
.........GIFTED !!!!!.......
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: linsdownoptimist on December 16, 2003, 03:27:24
Good one Di ;D
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: Ragged Robin on December 16, 2003, 15:04:11
...... Just remember...... The male is a domestic animal which, if treated kindly and with firmness, can be trained to do most things !! ::) ::) ;D
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: MagpieDi on December 16, 2003, 19:20:01
Ha!!
Robin.........this could be the beginning of a very long thread! ;D
Keep 'em coming..........any too rude for those a tad sensitive............you'll find me behind the bike shed!!......in fact...I've virtually moved in there!! ::) ;D
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: budgiebreeder on December 16, 2003, 19:27:12
Hope that you are coming out for the Party and Panto .Call in on the way there for pre panto drinks Di I need a bit of advice on which pair of Wellies goes with my little strappy number.
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: MagpieDi on December 16, 2003, 19:38:50
O.K....bb........can I bring along this wonderful olde worlde gentleman I've met recently ? ;)
You'll just love him bb.......the most amazing *****I've seen
...............................stored on a hard drive for a long time!! ;)
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: budgiebreeder on December 16, 2003, 20:00:13
I want one!!!I want one!! Tell me more where are they.Iwant one!!!!
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: Ragged Robin on December 16, 2003, 23:46:13
another for the girls...... Men do not mature, they just grow taller!
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: Hugh_Jones on December 17, 2003, 01:05:00
And remember this, ladies. If another woman steals your man your finest revenge is to let her keep him.
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: Ragged Robin on December 18, 2003, 00:20:59
........As GBS once said "Every man over forty is a scoundrel" ..................explains alot.........
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: Hyacinth on December 18, 2003, 11:17:16
and here is...
A Woman's Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for:
Wisdom, to understand a man Love, to forgive him and Patience for his moods Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: MagpieDi on December 18, 2003, 15:55:54
Title: Re: One for the divorcees ( female!! )
Post by: Hyacinth on December 18, 2003, 21:20:56
bl**dy good, isn't it? My friend, Barb, in America, sends me some corkers - only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning is to see what her mails hold..