Allotments 4 All

General => The Shed => Topic started by: ACE on April 01, 2015, 07:02:03

Title: going equipped
Post by: ACE on April 01, 2015, 07:02:03
From today  1/4/2015 it will be against the law to carry weapons disguised as gardening tools, unless they are in a covered container. Just being loosely piled in the boot will incur charges. Anybody going equipped for gardening will have to prove they have an allotment that is well cared for and under cultivation.

Plots covered in black plastic or carpets will not be accepted as proof of cultivation, but vegetables in season will help in your court appearance if they are produced as a meal for the court officals. If they can be proved they are organic by the jurors visiting the plot all charges will be dropped, as in Green versus the state, provided nobody steps on an upturned rake.
Title: Re: going equipped
Post by: pumkinlover on April 01, 2015, 08:02:44
I am not sure whether to be worried about this as I walk to my plot with my tools in a wheelbarrow.
Maybe I should buy a lockable trolley?
I do however look the part as I wear overalls and gardening  boots.
Would this help in my defence if stopped by the police?
Title: Re: going equipped
Post by: ACE on April 01, 2015, 08:22:53

I do however look the part as I wear overalls and gardening  boots.
Would this help in my defence if stopped by the police?

Raise a trouser leg and give them a quick flash of your surgical stocking. That should send them packing
Title: Re: going equipped
Post by: picman on April 01, 2015, 09:06:29
Yea . we have a old geeza on the gate now , checking car boots , oh and also charging for parking ... :wave:
Title: Re: going equipped
Post by: goodlife on April 01, 2015, 09:27:55
Oh great... :icon_cheers:...thank you for your information of latest 'rules and regulations'..how did I missed that  :drunken_smilie: And only just few days ago I gave 'lecture' on front of AGM about these sort of issues.. :drunken_smilie:
Was there any other changes I should be aware of? Maybe I should call meeting up for a update... :tongue3:
Is overalls official requirement or will dirty old jogging bottoms with few holes satisfy the authorities as proof?...they do carry Nike logo though, so one time they could have been classified quite 'posh' gear for the plot..but they are from early 90's so not in fashion anymore... :glasses9:
Usually I don't have to carry any 'weapons' around...but I have quite a stock pile of them hidden away in my storage facilities ...I wonder what they think of my 'massacre' tools, chainsaws etc.... :angel11:

What next.... :drunken_smilie:
Title: Re: going equipped
Post by: ACE on April 01, 2015, 10:00:22
I would think dirty old jogging bottoms would be OK. Bending over in tight shorts or jeggings are definatley a health hazard especially to old chaps with heart problems. It will also be law to wear braces to eliminate builders/gardeners bum, as there have been occasions where short sighted plot holders have tried to park their bike then get a sore ear.
Title: Re: going equipped
Post by: Pescador on April 01, 2015, 10:09:38
I understand that dibbers must remain covered at all times
Title: Re: going equipped
Post by: gray1720 on April 01, 2015, 10:14:50
My tool is so large I have to carry it in a wheelbarrow. What should I do?

Worried of Oxford
Title: Re: going equipped
Post by: Pescador on April 01, 2015, 11:53:04
Stay very worried
Title: Re: going equipped
Post by: goodlife on April 01, 2015, 12:02:00
My tool is so large I have to carry it in a wheelbarrow. What should I do?

Worried of Oxford
Are you bragging or complaining..? :angel11:
Title: Re: going equipped
Post by: alkanet on April 01, 2015, 12:22:18
My tool is so large I have to carry it in a wheelbarrow. What should I do?

Worried of Oxford

it's not how big it is, it's what you do with it

and you, erm, stick it in a wheelbarrow
Title: Re: going equipped
Post by: Palustris on April 01, 2015, 14:25:22
Bit like the verso of a Fivepenny Piece song
"My Uncle Billy had a ten foot willy.
He showed to the woman next door. She thought it was a snake
So she hit it with a rake
And now it's only six foot four."
Title: Re: going equipped
Post by: goodlife on April 01, 2015, 14:42:45
Bit like the verso of a Fivepenny Piece song
"My Uncle Billy had a ten foot willy.
He showed to the woman next door. She thought it was a snake
So she hit it with a rake
And now it's only six foot four."
:laughing7:
Title: Re: going equipped
Post by: alkanet on April 01, 2015, 15:13:21
I didn't know whether to hit it with a stick, or give it a bun
Title: Re: going equipped
Post by: gray1720 on April 01, 2015, 16:03:52
I'm mildly surprised that no-one has mentioned Buster Gonad...

Adrian
Title: Re: going equipped
Post by: ancellsfarmer on April 01, 2015, 19:57:12
Seems wrong that folk are still posting to this thread after noon on 01/04/15
Title: Re: going equipped
Post by: Pescador on April 01, 2015, 21:26:31
You were 6hrs 14mins after!
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