Allotments 4 All
Allotment Stuff => The Basics => Topic started by: ina on February 06, 2005, 13:19:20
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It won't let me delete this.
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d'oh!
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Hehehe, let's talk about nothing.
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8)
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We've all done it! Can't delete your own topic. So think 3 times before creating one!!
If you have a really embarrassing one, Dan can do it.
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Just use modify and bluff you way out of it. ;)
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Now I could delete this, but let's see where it goes !
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Darn. I was hoping to post a blank reply, by pressing the space bar or return, but it won't let me do it.
So I'll just add some nonsense instead.
Anyone want to join me in a lymerick? I'll start - you do the next line...
"There was an allotmenteer..."
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I know a song that'l get on your nerves, get on you nerves, get on your nerves.I know a song that'l get on your nerves, and I'll sing it to you now.
I know a song that'l get on your nerves, get on you nerves, get on your nerves.I know a song that'l get on your nerves, and I'll sing it to you now.
I know a song that'l get on your nerves, get on you nerves, get on your nerves.I know a song that'l get on your nerves, and I'll sing it to you now
I know a song that'l get on your nerves, get on you nerves, get on your nerves.I know a song that'l get on your nerves, and I'll sing it to you now
I know a song that'l get on your nerves, get on you nerves, get on your nerves.I know a song that'l get on your nerves, and I'll sing it to you now
I know a song that'l get on your nerves, get on you nerves, get on your nerves.I know a song that'l get on your nerves, and I'll sing it to you now
I know a song that'l get on your nerves, get on you nerves, get on your nerves.I know a song that'l get on your nerves, and I'll sing it to you now get on you nerves, get on your nerves.
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Aqui made de start:
There once was an allotmenteer
who needed some new gardening gear
........................................
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There once was an allotmenteer
who needed some new gardening gear
So away he did go to his favourite Wilko. ;D
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There once was an allotmenteer
who needed some new gardening gear
So away he did go to his favourite Wilko
To get some decent lopping shears!
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Bravo!
And ehm.......Roy, your song got on my nerves.
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;D Tee hee shall I sing it again :o ;D
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There once was an allotmenteer
who needed some new gardening gear
So away he did go to his favourite Wilko
To get some decent lopping shears!
So he lopped and he lopped and he shouted his wife.
Hoy go out and get me some beers. ;D
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There once was an allotmenteer
who needed some new gardening gear
So away he did go to his favourite Wilko
To get some decent lopping shears!
So he lopped and he lopped and he shouted his wife.
Hoy go out and get me some beers.
So off she skulked and returned with the goods,
To which he responded - Cheers!
:D :D :D
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There once was an allotmenteer
who needed some new gardening gear
So away he did go to his favourite Wilko
To get some decent lopping shears!
So he lopped and he lopped and he shouted his wife.
Hoy go out and get me some beers.
So off she skulked and returned with the goods,
To which he responded - Cheers!
When he drank all his beers
he took his new shears
to look for more branches he'd missed
by now he was pissed
and he lopped all around
and his rose busch was cut to the ground
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There once was an allotmenteer
who needed some new gardening gear
So away he did go to his favourite Wilko
To get some decent lopping shears!
So he lopped and he lopped and he shouted his wife.
Hoy go out and get me some beers.
So off she skulked and returned with the goods,
To which he responded - Cheers!
When he drank all his beers
he took his new shears
to look for more branches he'd missed
by now he was pissed
and he lopped all around
and his rose busch was cut to the ground
By this time his wife was histerical, >:(
that he could dare to carry out such a deed. :o
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There once was an allotmenteer
who needed some new gardening gear
So away he did go to his favourite Wilko
To get some decent lopping shears!
So he lopped and he lopped and he shouted his wife.
Hoy go out and get me some beers.
So off she skulked and returned with the goods,
To which he responded - Cheers!
When he drank all his beers
he took his new shears
to look for more branches he'd missed
by now he was pissed
and he lopped all around
and her rose bush was cut to the ground
By this time his wife was histerical, >:(
that he could dare to carry out such a deed. :o
All he could say was "Dhoh"
so she took out his favorite hoe
quite ready to cut off his head
but went to his veg patch instead
there was green stuff flying, high and low
as she lopped off his veggies, row by row.
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;D ;D ;D
What a talented and darkly funny lot you are! I love it! 8)
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Hehehe, you started it.
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Ina - I know. And you lot really ran with it!
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There once was an allotmenteer
who needed some new gardening gear
So away he did go to his favourite Wilko
To get some decent lopping shears!
So he lopped and he lopped and he shouted his wife.
Hoy go out and get me some beers.
So off she skulked and returned with the goods,
To which he responded - Cheers!
When he drank all his beers
he took his new shears
to look for more branches he'd missed
by now he was pissed
and he lopped all around
and her rose bush was cut to the ground
By this time his wife was histerical,
that he could dare to carry out such a deed.
All he could say was "Dhoh"
so she took out his favorite hoe
quite ready to cut off his head
but went to his veg patch instead
there was green stuff flying, high and low
as she lopped off his veggies, row by row.
How dare you do that to my veggies
You evil cantankerous cow >:(
I’ll go in your room search all through your drawers
And ware them just watch me and how. :o
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There once was an allotmenteer
who needed some new gardening gear
So away he did go to his favourite Wilko
To get some decent lopping shears!
So he lopped and he lopped and he shouted his wife.
Hoy go out and get me some beers.
So off she skulked and returned with the goods,
To which he responded - Cheers!
When he drank all his beers
he took his new shears
to look for more branches he'd missed
by now he was pissed
and he lopped all around
and her rose bush was cut to the ground
By this time his wife was histerical,
that he could dare to carry out such a deed.
All he could say was "Dhoh"
so she took out his favorite hoe
quite ready to cut off his head
but went to his veg patch instead
there was green stuff flying, high and low
as she lopped off his veggies, row by row.
How dare you do that to my veggies
You evil cantankerous cow
I’ll go in your room search all through your drawers
And ware them just watch me and how.
So off to the bedroom he went
Muttering something about not being bent.
The drawers, to the right of the window
Were the ones he needed and so,
He opened the top, and tipped out the lot
And picked out some net stockings to borrow.
His wife with a look of slight horror,
Stood at the room door watching over,
"I think you will find, that those stockings are mine,
and pink certainly is not your colour"
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So off to the bedroom he went
Muttering something about not being bent.
The drawers, to the right of the window
Were the ones he needed and so,
He opened the top, and tipped out the lot
And picked out some net stockings to borrow.
His wife with a look of slight horror,
Stood at the room door watching over,
"I think you will find, that those stockings are mine,
and pink certainly is not your colour"
;D Tee hee this is good s*** man ;D I'm loveing it 8)
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There once was an allotmenteer
who needed some new gardening gear
So away he did go to his favourite Wilko
To get some decent lopping shears!
So he lopped and he lopped and he shouted his wife.
Hoy go out and get me some beers.
So off she skulked and returned with the goods,
To which he responded - Cheers!
When he drank all his beers
he took his new shears
to look for more branches he'd missed
by now he was pissed
and he lopped all around
and her rose bush was cut to the ground
By this time his wife was histerical,
that he could dare to carry out such a deed.
All he could say was "Dhoh"
so she took out his favorite hoe
quite ready to cut off his head
but went to his veg patch instead
there was green stuff flying, high and low
as she lopped off his veggies, row by row.
How dare you do that to my veggies
You evil cantankerous cow
I’ll go in your room search all through your drawers
And ware them just watch me and how.
So off to the bedroom he went
Muttering something about not being bent.
The drawers, to the right of the window
Were the ones he needed and so,
He opened the top, and tipped out the lot
And picked out some net stockings to borrow.
His wife with a look of slight horror,
Stood at the room door watching over,
"I think you will find, that those stockings are mine,
and pink certainly is not your colour"
And so to his spouse he threw curses and rants,
Having seen her lobotomise all his sacred plants,
But his trouble and strife, she grabbed a sharp knife,
And ‘swish’ and ‘flick’, down fell his pants.
Then seeing his undies (bright pink!)
She burst into riotous laughter
At which point he came to his senses
And thought ‘What a day, a real disaster!’
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;D
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There once was an allotmenteer
who needed some new gardening gear
So away he did go to his favourite Wilko
To get some decent lopping shears!
So he lopped and he lopped and he shouted his wife.
Hoy go out and get me some beers.
So off she skulked and returned with the goods,
To which he responded - Cheers!
When he drank all his beers
he took his new shears
to look for more branches he'd missed
by now he was pissed
and he lopped all around
and her rose bush was cut to the ground
By this time his wife was histerical,
that he could dare to carry out such a deed.
All he could say was "Dhoh"
so she took out his favorite hoe
quite ready to cut off his head
but went to his veg patch instead
there was green stuff flying, high and low
as she lopped off his veggies, row by row.
How dare you do that to my veggies
You evil cantankerous cow
I’ll go in your room search all through your drawers
And ware them just watch me and how.
So off to the bedroom he went
Muttering something about not being bent.
The drawers, to the right of the window
Were the ones he needed and so,
He opened the top, and tipped out the lot
And picked out some net stockings to borrow.
His wife with a look of slight horror,
Stood at the room door watching over,
"I think you will find, that those stockings are mine,
and pink certainly is not your colour"
And so to his spouse he threw curses and rants,
Having seen her lobotomise all his sacred plants,
But his trouble and strife, she grabbed a sharp knife,
And ‘swish’ and ‘flick’, down fell his pants.
Then seeing his undies (bright pink!)
She burst into riotous laughter
At which point he came to his senses
And thought ‘What a day, a real disaster!’
Well I’m off to do some more pruning,
As a keen gardener yes I am too,
So don’t try to prevent, cause I know I’m not bent,
As you’ll know when I’m winking at you. :o
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Well Dan, was it worth it ? ! ! !
Ha ha ha
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There once was an allotmenteer
who needed some new gardening gear
So away he did go to his favourite Wilko
To get some decent lopping shears!
So he lopped and he lopped and he shouted his wife.
Hoy go out and get me some beers.
So off she skulked and returned with the goods,
To which he responded - Cheers!
When he drank all his beers
he took his new shears
to look for more branches he'd missed
by now he was pissed
and he lopped all around
and her rose bush was cut to the ground
By this time his wife was histerical,
that he could dare to carry out such a deed.
All he could say was "Dhoh"
so she took out his favorite hoe
quite ready to cut off his head
but went to his veg patch instead
there was green stuff flying, high and low
as she lopped off his veggies, row by row.
How dare you do that to my veggies
You evil cantankerous cow
I’ll go in your room search all through your drawers
And ware them just watch me and how.
So off to the bedroom he went
Muttering something about not being bent.
The drawers, to the right of the window
Were the ones he needed and so,
He opened the top, and tipped out the lot
And picked out some net stockings to borrow.
His wife with a look of slight horror,
Stood at the room door watching over,
"I think you will find, that those stockings are mine,
and pink certainly is not your colour"
And so to his spouse he threw curses and rants,
Having seen her lobotomise all his sacred plants,
But his trouble and strife, she grabbed a sharp knife,
And ‘swish’ and ‘flick’, down fell his pants.
Then seeing his undies (bright pink!)
She burst into riotous laughter
At which point he came to his senses
And thought ‘What a day, a real disaster!’
Well I’m off to do some more pruning,
As a keen gardener yes I am too,
So don’t try to prevent, cause I know I’m not bent,
As you’ll know when I’m winking at you.
So quickly before he got it,
He pondered and then though f'#k it,
He doubled straight back, as quick as a flash,
And stuffed the pink fishnets in his pocket.
These will be just what I need
When the birds are all bored of the seed
When they're flying in swoops, all after my fruit,
This will deter them indeed!!
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I have too much time on my hands obviously! Maybe this will need to move to watershed ;D
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What have we done !
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(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v168/fergina/laugh_resize.jpg)
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There once was an allotmenteer
who needed some new gardening gear
So away he did go to his favourite Wilko
To get some decent lopping shears!
So he lopped and he lopped and he shouted his wife.
Hoy go out and get me some beers.
So off she skulked and returned with the goods,
To which he responded - Cheers!
When he drank all his beers
he took his new shears
to look for more branches he'd missed
by now he was pissed
and he lopped all around
and her rose bush was cut to the ground
By this time his wife was histerical,
that he could dare to carry out such a deed.
All he could say was "Dhoh"
so she took out his favorite hoe
quite ready to cut off his head
but went to his veg patch instead
there was green stuff flying, high and low
as she lopped off his veggies, row by row.
How dare you do that to my veggies
You evil cantankerous cow
I’ll go in your room search all through your drawers
And ware them just watch me and how.
So off to the bedroom he went
Muttering something about not being bent.
The drawers, to the right of the window
Were the ones he needed and so,
He opened the top, and tipped out the lot
And picked out some net stockings to borrow.
His wife with a look of slight horror,
Stood at the room door watching over,
"I think you will find, that those stockings are mine,
and pink certainly is not your colour"
And so to his spouse he threw curses and rants,
Having seen her lobotomise all his sacred plants,
But his trouble and strife, she grabbed a sharp knife,
And ‘swish’ and ‘flick’, down fell his pants.
Then seeing his undies (bright pink!)
She burst into riotous laughter
At which point he came to his senses
And thought ‘What a day, a real disaster!’
Well I’m off to do some more pruning,
As a keen gardener yes I am too,
So don’t try to prevent, cause I know I’m not bent,
As you’ll know when I’m winking at you.
So quickly before he got it,
He pondered and then though f'#k it,
He doubled straight back, as quick as a flash,
And stuffed the pink fishnets in his pocket.
These will be just what I need
When the birds are all bored of the seed
When they're flying in swoops, all after my fruit,
This will deter them indeed!!
Alas, pink fishnets did't scare the least
as they enjoyed their berry feast
as if they thought the more the merrier
he needed something even scarier
maybe a bird scare that's alife
so with the fishnets he tied his wife
this proved to be the right technique
10 miles away they heard her schriek
-
There once was an allotmenteer
who needed some new gardening gear
So away he did go to his favourite Wilko
To get some decent lopping shears!
So he lopped and he lopped and he shouted his wife.
Hoy go out and get me some beers.
So off she skulked and returned with the goods,
To which he responded - Cheers!
When he drank all his beers
he took his new shears
to look for more branches he'd missed
by now he was pissed
and he lopped all around
and her rose bush was cut to the ground
By this time his wife was histerical,
that he could dare to carry out such a deed.
All he could say was "Dhoh"
so she took out his favorite hoe
quite ready to cut off his head
but went to his veg patch instead
there was green stuff flying, high and low
as she lopped off his veggies, row by row.
How dare you do that to my veggies
You evil cantankerous cow
I’ll go in your room search all through your drawers
And ware them just watch me and how.
So off to the bedroom he went
Muttering something about not being bent.
The drawers, to the right of the window
Were the ones he needed and so,
He opened the top, and tipped out the lot
And picked out some net stockings to borrow.
His wife with a look of slight horror,
Stood at the room door watching over,
"I think you will find, that those stockings are mine,
and pink certainly is not your colour"
And so to his spouse he threw curses and rants,
Having seen her lobotomise all his sacred plants,
But his trouble and strife, she grabbed a sharp knife,
And ‘swish’ and ‘flick’, down fell his pants.
Then seeing his undies (bright pink!)
She burst into riotous laughter
At which point he came to his senses
And thought ‘What a day, a real disaster!’
Well I’m off to do some more pruning,
As a keen gardener yes I am too,
So don’t try to prevent, cause I know I’m not bent,
As you’ll know when I’m winking at you.
So quickly before he got it,
He pondered and then though f'#k it,
He doubled straight back, as quick as a flash,
And stuffed the pink fishnets in his pocket.
These will be just what I need
When the birds are all bored of the seed
When they're flying in swoops, all after my fruit,
This will deter them indeed!!
Alas, pink fishnets did't scare the least
as they enjoyed their berry feast
as if they thought the more the merrier
he needed something even scarier
maybe a bird scare that's alife
so with the fishnets he tied his wife
this proved to be the right technique
10 miles away they heard her schriek
But having just tied up his missus :o
He headed on back to the house ;D