For the benefit of readers I should explain that I originally posted a joke about sheep because Ozzy has asked me three times in the last week how the sheep are. However, as Ozzy wasn`t amused, and he`s a nice bloke (despite continually asking me how the sheep are), I have removed the original joke and offer this instead:
Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white as snow,
And everywhere that Mary went,
that little lamb would go.
Mary had a little lamb,
It started to grow bigger,
Mary started worrying,
that it might lose its figure.
Mary had a little lamb,
She fed it grass and hay,
and everyone could clearly see,
it grew fatter day by day.
Mary`s lamb was fat and round,
(tho` no-one liked to say)
No longer could it leap and bound
But lumbered on its way.
Mary`s dad said (to her mum),
"It`s eating fit to burst,
It`ll eat us out of house and home
If we don`t eat it first.
Mary went out for the day.
The lamb, it stayed behind.
Dad said "Now; while she`s away,
It`s really much more kind.
Dad honed his cleaver and his knife,
and took the lamb outside.
"Just do it quickly" said his wife,
and then sat down and cried.
Half an hour was all it took,
(Dad really had the knack)
Ma said "I`d better start to cook
for when our lass gets back"
Mary came home full of glee.
"We`ve been round all the shops.
And now I`m ready for my tea".
Ma said "You`ll LOVE these chops".
