General > The Shed

This is a  bit worrying !

(1/2) > >>

Granny_Smith:
Rule Brittania ?

Very proud to be British..
Because...

Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 people die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 people were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 people are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 people have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 people have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
Since 1999 101 people have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
18 people received serious burns while trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 people were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 people were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

And finally.........
In 2000 eight people cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

Mimi:
;D Love the disabled car park outside the ice skating rink... is that for before or after???????

tim:
It's in the book - thanks!! = Tim

Ozzy_aka_Pothead:
Ha ha ha nice one GS

heres one for yoooze

only in Ireland is there an 18 month waiting list for a bed in the maternity ward......

Oz

xxxx

cleo:
A bet there are no official statistics on this one but I have developed  a small callous on the outside of my left hand index finger.

Pricking out?,weeding?-picking my nose in a vigorous way?-no,it`s from sliding my mouse around its mat-it only dawned on me today!! ;D

Stephan.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page