I have had to go and get tested for all sorts of things today, nothing wrong with me, they were just testing me to find out if their was.
11.30am was written on the form, so at 11.35 I asked why I was still waiting. Well the russian shot putter who was masquerading as nurse got really sh!tty and passed the word around. So loads of jabs to find a vein, jelly smeared all over my torso just to do 2 minutes ultrasound and then an ex docker with the biggest w@#king spanners I have ever seen wanted to do something with my postrate, I told him to get lost. Then I had to turn into a contortionist to have a few xrays.
Before all of these tests I had to sign forms and agree to all sorts of conditions. One of these was to use the results of my tests on my perfectly formed body for medical research. So now when you are going to meet your maker could you put in a good word for me up there, because he might have forgotten by the time I get there.
