Author Topic: Site Supervisor (Read 20526 times)

Digeroo · « **Reply #40 on:** March 22, 2011, 06:46:40 »

Almost got it right Squash64 but my OH wears a wooley hat stuck on the top of his head with nothing in the top of it.

nodig · « **Reply #41 on:** March 22, 2011, 17:57:36 »

Who do he think he is? That plotholder with the scarecrow walked right past my allotment today, and even glanced over as he walked by. Then my mate from further down the allotment came running over and told me he had done the same to him. Well I'm not having that sort of thing going on down my allotments.

I scribbled a note onto a piece of paper and then fixed it in the official notice board on the site gate. This is what I wrote....

MR SMITH PLOT X HAS NO AUTHORITY TO INSPECT OR PHOTOGRAPH OTHER PEOPLE ALLOTMENTS SIGNED SITE SUPERVISOR NODIG

I thought the photographing bit was a nice touch (remember the photo he sent of of his scarecrow, well it did show another allotment in the background.(see it is not a lie). That should turn a few more plot holders against him and get him riled.

I must admit I did worry a little bit afterwards (after all walking around the allotment isn't exactly inspecting allotments). I talked this over with a fellow site supervisor from a nearby allotment site. He reassured me by saying that if it came to it, he would vouch that Mr Smith had in fact been heard to say 'I am inspecting allotments' as he walked around 'inspecting' allotments.

Isn't it great when you feel part of a consolidated association with shared standards and expectations.

Nodig

cornykev · « **Reply #42 on:** March 22, 2011, 18:40:41 »

Nice one Smithy. ;)

Bill Door · « **Reply #43 on:** March 22, 2011, 18:54:00 »

Worried by the comment including "I'm not having that sort of thing going on down my allotments".

So no one else has a say.

Seems to be heading towards Bugloss 2009 suggestion.

Bill

davyw1 · « **Reply #44 on:** March 22, 2011, 19:40:44 »

Quote from: Bill Door on March 22, 2011, 18:54:00

Worried by the comment including "I'm not having that sort of thing going on down my allotments".

So no one else has a say.

Seems to be heading towards Bugloss 2009 suggestion.

Bill

That about hit the nail on the head" walking the corridors of power"

No dig, no scruples, no honesty, no sense of fair play, no nothing really.
more to be pitied than scorned i think

betula · « **Reply #45 on:** March 22, 2011, 20:15:31 »

Seems like we have our very own Allotments 4 All comedian.Can't wait for the next episode. ;D

SMP1704 · « **Reply #46 on:** March 22, 2011, 20:20:46 »

There's always one that comes up with the daffodils - every year.

Squash64 · « **Reply #47 on:** March 22, 2011, 20:21:45 »

Quote from: betula on March 22, 2011, 20:15:31

Seems like we have our very own Allotments 4 All comedian.Can't wait for the next episode. ;D

How about we help Nodig out by each writing an episode?

nodig · « **Reply #48 on:** March 23, 2011, 20:02:00 »

Guess what I have in my back pocket. No, not a turnip, better than that. I have a 24 signature petition demanding that Mr Smith is evicted from his plot because of all this spying he is doing. The fact that I get exactly 24 votes each year at the site elections (my ever loyal croonies, bless em all) is merely a coincidence....honest.

I won't play this card yet, it isn't the right time. Maybe when the committee is dithering over whether to evict or not I will play it like a trump card, I am sure it will win the trick.

Our Mr Smith has been busy. He has put up a sign on his allotment which reads 'NODIG, SITE SUPERVISOR, IS NOT AUTHORISED TO MAKE UP FAIRY STORIES ABOUT OTHER PLOT HOLDERS'

Well I won't pull him up on that one as he has only made one mistake and that is putting the word NOT in the sentence. Ho Hum

His scarecrow is beginning to irritate me a little, it's time to act. Tomorrow he is going to get a little visit from me, but first I will spread it around the site, just for fun.

Nodig

lottiedolly · « **Reply #49 on:** March 24, 2011, 08:06:37 »

;D ;D ;D

djbrenton · « **Reply #50 on:** March 24, 2011, 12:23:07 »

nodig, I rather feel you're missing a trick here. Surely your rather lackadaisical approach to turfing this Mr Smith off the site is going to take far longer than necessary. The best thing for you to do is hide some of your property on his plot (maybe some of it could be concealed in the scarecrow) then report it stolen. One of your 24 cronies could then report that he saw Mr Smith on your plot. Another could testify to having seen him carrying your stuuf along the avenue and hey presto, you can throw him off as a thief. He could even consider himself lucky that you didn't call in the police.

Stop pussyfooting around man, and get this brazen scarecrow impersonator off the site.

Robert_Brenchley · « **Reply #51 on:** March 24, 2011, 17:56:34 »

You don't need to hide anything on his plot. I once had someone go round my plot, make a list of everything they fancied, and then go to the police claiming I'd stolen it all from them. It was things like several hundred snowdrops, which were claimed to be a rare variety they were supposed to have. They didn't look anything like it.

shirlton · « **Reply #52 on:** March 24, 2011, 19:00:35 »

Perhaps nodig is on your allotment Robert ;D

nodig · « **Reply #53 on:** March 24, 2011, 19:02:16 »

A lovely sunny day down at the allotments, a nice day to evict that grinning scarecrow - and another day soon I hope, Mr Smith. I approach Mr Smith (I have to because I have found he doesn't come to me when I whistle - and yes, all my other plot holders do, it is all to do with good training).

I told him he would have to remove the household rubbish scarecrow. He quickly replied (yes he already knew I was coming), that he had referred my complaint to the management committee for their consideration. How double dare he, it is for ME to refer things to the committee NOT him, a mere plot holder. I felt my hackles rising, and told him on impulse that if he didn't remove the scarecrow, I would not issue him with a new gate key (the locks are going to be changed in a weeks time).

Even this didn't phase Mr Smith, he was obviously confident that even our committee wouldn't have the neck to make the issuing of the gate key conditional on removing a scarecrow from his plot (and unfortunately he was right).

I mumbled something like you will have to remove it in the end, and walked away trying to look like the victor, but with panic inside.

I immediately rang the chairman, and told him about the hole I had dug for myself. He told me not to worry, he would sort it out. I feel a little sorry for Mr Smith now that the chairman is on his case, he is known to bite.

Nodig

Robert_Brenchley · « **Reply #54 on:** March 25, 2011, 17:54:07 »

Quote from: shirlton on March 24, 2011, 19:00:35

Perhaps nodig is on your allotment Robert ;D

I'll set a mantrap.

nodig · « **Reply #55 on:** March 27, 2011, 09:39:02 »

Well we had our meeting with Mr Smith yesterday. The chairman had rung him up and invited him to a meeting on his plot to 'sort it all out'. What he should have said was 'sort him out' but that might have frightened him away.

Mr Smith didn't stand a chance. Before he could say anything about the benefits of having a scarecrow, the chairman immediately ordered him to remove the offending rubbish items from his site.

Mr Smith said 'why, it's just a scrarecrow' (what a stupid question to ask). The chairman quickly replied 'you do as you are told, and that's why'.

Mr Smith still hadn't finished (go on dig yourself in deeper I was thinking).

'You and Nodig are just bullies' he says 'I want my scarecrow to be considered by he committee when it next meets'.

The chairman puffs himself up to his full 5' 5 1/2" and says 'I AM THE COMMITTEE, so do what Nodig says or start worrying about your future tenancy of your plot'.

We left Mr Smith looking shaken, but worryingly not too stirred.

I have just started to put togther my report for the committee - 'Mr Smith dumped household rubbish on his plot, tried to deny it was rubbish, and abused the chairman and site secretary in the process. Mr Smith has now agreed to remove the rubbish from his site (this last bit is pending).

Nodig

cornykev · « **Reply #56 on:** March 27, 2011, 10:03:03 »

Too right nodig u get him to move his rubbish, the only thing worse than dumping household rubbish is someone using their lottie for dumping works rubbish, maybe u could pin that on him as well, what job does he do nodig. :P

Digeroo · « **Reply #57 on:** March 27, 2011, 10:12:03 »

Are you going far enough nodig? I think you should plan out all the allotments to ensure efficient use of space and proper crop rotations.

Glad you have everyone whistle trained, do they all salute as well?

nodig · « **Reply #58 on:** March 27, 2011, 13:02:28 »

Quote from: cornykev on March 27, 2011, 10:03:03

Too right nodig u get him to move his rubbish, the only thing worse than dumping household rubbish is someone using their lottie for dumping works rubbish, maybe u could pin that on him as well, what job does he do nodig. :P

Sorry cornykev, what is a lottie?

Nodig

nodig · « **Reply #59 on:** March 27, 2011, 13:06:48 »

Quote from: nodig on March 27, 2011, 13:02:28

Quote from: cornykev on March 27, 2011, 10:03:03
Too right nodig u get him to move his rubbish, the only thing worse than dumping household rubbish is someone using their lottie for dumping works rubbish, maybe u could pin that on him as well, what job does he do nodig. :P

Sorry cornykev, what is a lottie?

Nodig

Sorry cornykev, I see you meant lorry. No, no lorries involved, and don't worry I would hang him if he ever brought a lorry on to the site.

Nodig

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Author Topic: Site Supervisor (Read 20526 times)