Topic: Stuck in more ways than one

[ACE]

I am out in the sticks looking after a friends house and dogs while they go on a xmas cruise. OH was due this morning with provisions for the weekend but she cannot get here because of the snow. I daren't go out just in case something happens and I can't get back. This place is way off the beaten track, the dogs would be left alone for too long. I've just checked to food cupboard, nothing there except jars of pickle and  a tin of baked beans and plenty of dog food.

As I only have a shower at home I took advantage of getting into a nice hot bath which would do my mending knee a lot of good. WRONG!  I could not get out, no handles, slippery bath, knee that is not fully functional and no one for miles to hear me shout. Got eventually but not without pain.

My friends must have run the larder down as they are away for as while, but I have found a bottle of whiskey which I shall have to drink to get me in the right frame of mind to eat my dinner of dogfood and beans. Now I expect I shall put my neck out when I start trying to lick my bawls. ;D

Whoa, hang on the sun has just come out, disregard the above.  SAVED

[betula]

 ;D

[daveyboi]

Book a Tesco delivery online lols you might get lucky :)

[shirlton]

 Hope you get yer favourite flavoured dog food Ace ;D

[Sparkly]

Online deliveries are normally quite good at getting there, even in quite bad weather.

[Poppy Mole]

Call in the helicopter. It's grim here too but at least I've plenty of food & don't have to resort to eating cat food.
Just be careful when you are licking your "bits"

[tomatoada]

I think you will be lucky to get a supermarket delivering.   They are booked up 'til after Christmas.

[Froglegs]

Have ya not got a chum who could help. ;)

[djbrenton]

Should all else fail

                        Stewed Dog (wedding style)
 
 Recipe By     : Joe Sweeney
 Serving Size  : 30   Preparation Time :3:00
 Categories    : Ethnic                           Lamb
                 Philippines
 
   Amount  Measure       Ingredient -- Preparation Method
 --------  ------------  --------------------------------
    3      kg            dog meat -- * see note
    1 1/2  cups          vinegar
   60                    peppercorns -- crushed
    6      tablespoons   salt
   12      cloves        garlic -- crushed
      1/2  cup           cooking oil
    6      cups          onion -- sliced
    3      cups          tomato sauce
   10      cups          boiling water
    6      cups          red pepper -- cut into strips
    6      pieces        bay leaf
    1      teaspoon      tabasco sauce
    1 1/2  cups          liver spread -- ** see note
    1      whole         fresh pineapple -- cut 1/2 inch thick
 
 1. First, kill a medium sized dog, then burn off the fur over a hot fire.
 2. Carefully remove the skin while still warm and set aside for later (may be
used in other recpies)
 3. Cut meat into 1″ cubes. Marinade meat in mixture of vinegar, peppercorn,
salt and garlic for 2 hours.
 4. Fry meat in oil using a large wok over an open fire, then add onions and
chopped pineapple and suate until tender.
 5. Pour in tomato sauce and boiling water, add green peper, bay leaf and
tobasco.
 6. Cover and simmer over warm coals until meat is tender. Blend in liver spread
and cook for additional 5-7 minutes.
 
 * you can substiture lamb for dog. The taste is similar, but not as pungent.
 ** smooth liver pate will do as well.



How many dogs are there? Would they notice one fewer when they return?

[shirlton]

Have ya not got a chum who could help. ;)

Failing that a Pal ;D

[Froglegs]

Have ya not got a chum who could help. ;)

He must know one chappie to give a hand. ;D



Failing that a Pal ;D

[Bugloss2009]

Cilla Black ended up eating dog food when she was at a health farm and starving and it didn't do her any harm

er on second thoughts DON'T EAT THE DOGFOOD!!

[elvis2003]

poor ace,i do hope you werent expecting sympathy or sensible suggestions (although im quite sure you were expecting neither!)
hope you are fed and free soon! ;)

[ACE]

I piled 4 dogs and 3 cats into the 4x4, couldn't do nothing about the chickens, but they can count their selfs lucky they didn't go in the pot. Trundled down the lane, when I got to the road it was all clear. ??? Anyway stocked up with a few crates of beer, pizzas, belgium buns, coffee, milk and bread. Back now from the village to find a couple of brace of pheasants hung on the gate, (present from a local hunting party).

All set now for a quiet cosy evening as I never told OH she could make it ;D

[Froglegs]

We allways new you were a pheasant plucker really Ace. ;D

[daitheplant]

Look on the bright side, you could have been marooned in a pub somewhere like those poor,poor people last week. ;D

[cornykev]

I'm a bit late on this one and the PAL and CHUM gags have already gone,  :'( the knee might still be dodgy Ace but by the end of your stay you'll have the cleanest knackers this side of Southampton.   :P :P :P

[Froglegs]

I'm a bit late on this one and the PAL and CHUM gags have already gone,  :'( the knee might still be dodgy Ace but by the end of your stay you'll have the cleanest knackers this side of Southampton.   :P :P :P

And a stiff neck  ;D ;D

[shirlton]

woof woof  ;D

[ACE]

I'm snowed in again after another fall last night. But now at least I have enough food to last a few days. Hope it stops soon otherwise I will have a very lonely Xmas. I decided to help my friends out with the animals while they were away cruising, but we were going to have the whole family here later in the week to celebrate xmas together, First time for 15 years after all the kids went their seperate ways. This is a super place usually let out at £4,000 a week for shooting parties. Projector telly and surround sound gives you a 8' screen, aga to keep the place warm, generators for backup leccy and views to the woods, fields or english channel, so I am not slumming it.

There are enough dogs here and a load of wood so I could build a sled and mush my way out ;D and talking of dogs watch and cheer on one man and his dog tonight. England is represented by a bloke from the Island.

I don't have a lot of time for the telly but I had too watch it last night, bbc4 sessions.  great seasonal folk music. It's on iplayer if folk is your bag.

Ive got my squeezebox with me so I'll see if I can get the dogs howling to some xmas carols. What do you lot do up in the frozen wastelands of the north every winter? I am new to this.