Topic: What's the right thing to do?

[Georgie]

About a week ago someone here very kindly sent me a very well rooted cutting of a Fuchsia I'd been longing for for a while.  I sent a PM to say thank you and offered to send something in return or at least refund the postage but they haven't replied.  I don't want to offend by doing the wrong thing but I'd like to do something to say thank you. What would you do?

G x

[SMP1704]

I've been reading a book that talks about the idea of giving without the expectation of getting and the freedom that brings.

Your experience sounds like a good example of this - or maybe the person can't think of anything they would like in return and can't be doing with the faff of a cheque for a small postage amount........

Accept and keep an eye out for any requests that they might post.

[Flighty]

I would do what you've done, and as the saying goes the ball is now in their court!  :)

[Jeannine]

Georgie, I think the thank you was enough for that person and you have already done the right thing. Often I send things with no expectation of anything but a thank you  then  I usually answer with something like, "thank you..I don't need anything right now but if I see you with something interesting may I contact you" . Maybe the person just hadn't had time to answer you. You can do no more except perhaps as  was said earlier, keep it in your head till they are looking for something. You have certainly done as much as I would expect.

XX Jeannine

[djbrenton]

I think you should find out their address and send them a new car.




d**n! It wasn't me that sent the fuschia. OK forget it.

[chriscross1966]

"Kill them all.
Leave no survivors.
Mercy is for the weak."

excerpt from "Gardening with Ghengis Khan"......

[landimad]

Georgie,
I happened to be sent some through the post by Valmarg and they too did not want anything in return. :-[
I am sure that they are happy to give and not receive, which is how they have been brought up.
A big thank you is all they want, so post it and they will think that is the best way of letting them know they are thought of. :)

[Georgie]

I think you should find out their address and send them a new car.

d**n! It wasn't me that sent the fuschia. OK forget it.

LOL  ;D

Thanks everyone else for your thoughts.  I feel better now.   :)

G x

[cornykev]

G just sent us a score in the post, I'm sure it was me.  :P      ;D ;D ;D

[PurpleHeather]

Every so often we meet a thouroughly decent person who is happy to give without wanting anything in return.

For some it is hard to accept that such people exist. They do and it is a good lesson.

When you are sure that this is the situation then...............There are two options.


Either you also have to give without wanting a swap OR if you can not accept this give something to a charity and tell your benefactor what you have done.

Your benefactor will be disappointed because they hoped that they had shown that to give need not mean a swap is needed.

There are a lot of times when giving does not mean that you have to repay directly to the giver.

Treat it as a lesson in humanity.  Give something to some one else who needs.

If it is bugging you make a donation to a charity.

I give all the time and always get something back for it. Not from the person I gave to either.  It just happens.

Stop worrying about equal swaps. Take what is offered with good grace and give what you can.

I am not a religious idiot either.........I am  either agnostic or atheist but am not sure which............

[Georgie]

G just sent us a score in the post, I'm sure it was me.  :P      ;D ;D ;D

Man U 3 Spurs 0

Will that do?   ;)  ;D

G x

[macmac]

Me an the OH have a philosophy if someone does you a favour and you can't return it.....pass it on .
I've said this to lot's of folk if I've given them plants ,the OH has built a shed etc.often they can't help us out but there's usually someone they can :)
Having been the recipients of help and kindness when we were newbies it's good to carry on the tradition :)

[Georgie]

Me an the OH have a philosophy if someone does you a favour and you can't return it.....pass it on .
I've said this to lot's of folk if I've given them plants ,the OH has built a shed etc.often they can't help us out but there's usually someone they can :)
Having been the recipients of help and kindness when we were newbies it's good to carry on the tradition :)

I like that philosophy. :)

G x

[djbrenton]

I remember some years ago my daughter was given a bracelet by a relative stranger. They said that it had been given to them with the instruction that if ever a random stranger did you a service, that they should be given this bracelet. My daughter, in due course, gave it to a stranger who helped her in some way. Maybe a year or so later, she was given the bracelet for a second time when she helped a stranger out.

What goes around really can come around.