Topic: Big foot

[ACE]

Well there I was, small tincture to hand, sausage sarnie, feet up watching the telly. My wife looks over and says what ever is wrong with your feet? you have got odd sizes. One of them decided it wasn't getting enough attention and had swollen up and turned a bit blue. It didn't hurt and this morning it had gone down again. I had to go to the quack anyway this morning anyway as my snoring was keeping her awake at night and  as she was coming up to one of her monthly mood swings I would attempt to get the problem solved as I was in danger of being murdered in my sleep.

I mentioned the big foot in passing and before you knew it I was on the bench being well and truly tested for something the doc said could be serious. Get up the hospital now and I will phone ahead and get you looked at for DVT. So off I went but I thought bugger that for a game of soldiers, I went home and had some breakfast. I was not in the mood to sit around the hossy all day with my @rse sticking out of one of those stupid gowns, just because my video was up the creek.

The phone rang, it was my missus, she was working in the doctors clinic today and he asked if she had got me to the hospital. Well! the brown stuff  hit the fan, I was on deaths door as far as she was concerned, so I done a quick google about DVT. !!!!! Got a bit worried then. So she got me up there and I was fast tracked through all the bloodtests, scanning, ect. Then sat in a nice room with the telly while I waited for the verdict. (got a nice lunch free)
Anyway nothing seriously wrong. Water retention, which is a mystery as I never touch the stuff,(fishes shag in it you know) So a few tablets will sort it, but I will have to sleep in the back room tonight, because the silly sod never did sort out my snoring.

[Hyacinth]

Mystery solved then? ACE is Big Foot, it's Official 8)

Hope Herself gets a good night's sleep tonight...oh! and hope you do as well. :D

[Tulipa]

I'm glad they sorted your foot out Ace, I wonder what they will sort out next time you go for the snoring???? ;)

[PurpleHeather]

It also proves you are too tight to even pass water, they kindly give it that name, 'water' when they mean bodliy waste fluid.


However, on the bright side. I am sure I read somewhere that water retention can make you snore more loudly.

[ACE]

they kindly give it that name, 'water' when they mean bodliy waste fluid.

So if they decide to drain it off, will they be taking the p!ss ;) 

Why does it have to go down and swell my foot up. Somebody should do some research into keeping it up where it should be.

The NHS would save a fortune then. They won't have to keep doleing out viagra ;)

[PurpleHeather]

gravity

If you stand on your head you will get water on the brain

I decline to comment on whether that means more or less damage than a swollen foot.

[InfraDig]

Did anyone suggest avoiding "it"? Frequent placing of your foot there may well cause these symptoms! Do take care. We do not want you hopping mad!!

[Bugloss2009]

I used to work with someone called DVT - a clot produced by long periods of inactivity

[Jeannine]

Is he growing extra body hair too...Ace is turning into a sasquatch...LOL

You will have to change your picture lad!!

XX Jeannine

[PurpleHeather]

Did anyone suggest avoiding "it"? . We do not want you hopping mad!!

Some may argue it is too late

[cornykev]

Oi bigfoot, when you find out about the snoring do tell as the OH says I keep waking her up with mine.  ;D ;D ;D

[Hyacinth]

Your what, Kev? :o

 ;)

[PurpleHeather]

WHY ARE YOYU MEN SUCH
HARD WORK?

YOU THROW OUT THE KIDS

THEN YOU HAVE A BEDROOM EACH

Suggest it to 'SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED'

AND IF SHE DOES NOT SAY THAT IT IS WAS THE BEST IDEA YOU EVER HAD.

COME BACK FOR A FULL REFUND

[Bugloss2009]

Mrs ACE is only annoyed that it was your FOOT that got all swollen up

[ACE]

Mrs ACE is only annoyed that it was your FOOT that got all swollen up

No, no, no. Don't even go there. Grew out of that malarky years ago. Given the choice I would prefer a good gravy dinner.

[Jeannine]

Well you know what they say about men with big feet, not sure what it means if a guy has big fat feet(or one only) bet Mrs Ace knows though.

 Ace I am worried about 1 comment I read, take it from a great grandma, if you are putting your foot in it you are not quite doing things right,there is a better more fulfilling way of getting your "point "across, and am sure Mrs Ace would be much happier, more tender and certainly more relaxed if you used it.

XX Jeannine

[InfraDig]

As a friend of mine said, when he had testicular cancer, "Dear God, take away the pain, keep the swelling"!

[Bugloss2009]

Mrs ACE is only annoyed that it was your FOOT that got all swollen up

No, no, no. Don't even go there. Grew out of that malarky years ago. Given the choice I would prefer a good gravy dinner.

you might have grown out of it, but spare a thought for poor Mrs ACE.

[cornykev]

I certainly haven't grown out of it, but it is only my snoring keeping her awake Hyacinth. :P :P :P       ;D ;D ;D