Topic: Living longer

[ACE]

There are quite  a few members on these boards that are always going on about the interfering old boys at their allotments. Have you ever wondered why their are so many of us?

Well it is official people that regularly exercise with activities like heavy gardening have been proved to live longer than those who sit in their backsides talking about gardening. It was on the early news this very morning. 7.00AM too early for some of you but I thought I would let you know.

Now they are not talking about this namby pamby raised bed/ no dig/carpet clad plot palaver, but real old fashioned gardening like some of us still do with incredible results and we will be around doing the same long after you are gone.

Now if you like, I could be your Guru and instruct you in the art of a longer life and a more producive garden. So my first lesson will be the hoe.

First associate yourself with the shape of this implement, not the pissarsey dutch, ladies bit of tin but the good old fashioned forged steel english mattock type.



Tune in next week and I will tell you how to use this garden tool, then you will be halfway on the way to getting rid of the carpet. And adding a few more years to your worthless lives

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[Eristic]

Now if you like, I could be your Guru and instruct you in the art of a longer life and a more producive garden.

You are wasting your time Ace. I've been trying to teach new bees to do gardening the old fashioned easy way for years without success. They insist on working hard achieving nothing because that's how it is done on the telly.

[70fingers]

mmmm gardening porn!!! what make is?

[coznbob]

Alright, alright, you pair of grumps... ;D

There some of us newbies that do appreciate the advice....

[norfolklass]

well this newbie is slowly but surely double-digging every inch of her weed-infested plot that she inherited from one of the 'old boys' who completely let it go. my 'old boy' neighbour's idea of gardening is to spend three hours talking to everyone else, fiddle about with a spade for five minutes, then go down the pub! every year his is one of the weediest plots on the site ::)

I fully intend to out-garden the lot of 'em, and I certainly dig a d**n sight more than they do!

[pigeonseed]

gosh it's all got very macho on here today!

I'm sneaking quietly away to dig a bit with a trowel...

[1066]

Guru Ace  - has a certain ring to it! But somehow I never pictured you as the sort of guy that would go for safron robes, a shaved head, living a quiet contemplative life.......

[tonybloke]

Ace forgot to mention that the survey results also show that giving up smoking has the same effect on longevity!!, so i'll stick to my no-dig method!! ;) ;D ;D ;D ;D

[Sinbad7]

Yippppeeeeeeee,  I don't smoke and I love to DIG.  Digging is so satisfying when you are tired, sweating and filthy dirty, to me that's the pleasure of an allotment.

[wilko]

It was on the early news this very morning. 7.00AM too early for some of you

7am........................day's half over pal    ;)

[Sinbad7]

LOL Wilko.  See Ace, in your dreams  ;D  ;D  ;D

[daileg]

well ace im 38 this year i double dig clear the weeds manually tools sweat and tears i thought this is why we get into gardening allottmenteering was so we could spend our time outdoors down the plot clearing slugs digging in the muck all four ton of it what im saying is there is some of us who prefer to do it by the sweat of our brows as mother nature intended for those who cant for one reason or another . one can do oly what one can do 

[ACE]

Good on yer nipper, keep it up.

[cornykev]

Ace while you were sitting in your Y fronts scratching your knackers watching the box I was hard at graft at work, then over I went to the carpet and raised bed free lottie to keep on top of things that I had taken over after another old boy had let go to pot, now you have another hot drink and pull the blanket up a bit that man flu can be a bugger.  ;D ;D ;D     ;)

[flossy]

   Old boy, Old girl ---   you young lot are terrible,      ;D

    Don't you know that we can do and say what we like when we reach a ripe

     old age.        >:(    Respect man !       :(

     '' I can wear purple '    when I am older, and yes --  you will get there eventually !

     Really , it's not a bad place to be, It's like , been there , got the T shirt, and 'done it '

     You can breath out, look at the world from experienced  'eyes' , yer, we still got those !

      Give us a break  --  we are on your side if you only explain to the poor s...d you have

       vilified  why you you put plastic bottles on canes !!     ::)

       Rant over....       

   floss xxx

[Eristic]

It can be frustrating for the younger plotholder who after a hard days work and possibly a frustrating push through steaming traffic jams to arrive at their weedy plot only to be greeted by the old boy sitting in his shed admiring his weed free plot. You may think he's just sitting there having a smoke while watching for a weed to dare to stick a cotyledon up out of the ground.

As for the old uns with weedy plots, well there is old age then dote age and it comes to all who survive long enough. Contrary to general belief though, old gardeners do not die. They just spade away and throw in the trowel.

[flossy]

   OMG, that is so ........    what !

   Eristic  , you're having a laugh    ::)

   Sour old puss !       Yes ... old,  you aint grown up yet , xxxxx

   floss xxx

[ACE]

All in jest and so it should be. But they have been banging on about the merits of gardening and a longer life on the telly. Acually it says all exercise, but I'll ignore that bit, (seems like hard work).

Anyway what are we going to do for the next millenium celebrations?

[kenkew]

Next Millenium celi's should be aimed at supporting the root crop of society. I suggest that we should back staunch individuals who are geared-up to take us forward.
 I certainly think A4A is lacking in sponsoring the ACE appreciation Society.....
All cheques should be made out to Toadspawn and counter-signed by me.Ta!

[Hyacinth]

Anyway what are we going to do for the next millenium celebrations?

 might be havin a well-earned lie-in when that comes round, but I hope I'll have passed on me wisdom of years to those left behind.....

get pi""ed, have fun  & s*d tomorrow's hangover, is wot 8)