Topic: Too Big A Gift?

[Uncle Joshua]

As I've said loads of times on here I run Nik Kershaw's official chat forum, a while ago Nik's girlfriend contacted me asking if I'd be free to go to Retrofest in August and that they's pay for it as a thank you for my running the forum and getting the domain name (nikkershaw.com) back for him, I said it would be very nice and thank you.

I have just got all the details and for the rail fare, hotel room and tickets to the gig its costing them well over £600 which I feel is way too expensive a gift to give to someone for so little work and I feel bad about saying yes now.

Anyhoo, this got my wondering if others had been given gifts they felt were too expensive ?

[Chilipepper]

hmmm NOPE i aint got any friends :(

[betula]

I think that as you have done such a lot of work for him you should accept the gift graciously and enjoy.

My husband gives me lots of gifts and I never say no .Would not be right,would it?

[Emagggie]

I'm sure they realised how much it would cost Mick, obviously they value you highly. Hope you have a great time. ;)

[debster]

to not accept may upset them besides which possibly some of it is tax deductable so may not cost as much as you think

anyway if they didnt want to do or didnt think you were worth it they wouldnt so accept it with thegrace it was given and darn well enjoy it  ;D

[lorna]

I agree you should accept. They obviously KNOW your work for them is worth recognition.

[Doris_Pinks]

YES! we have urmmm how do I say this.................loaded mates in the States that offered to pay for us to fly out to visit them....no said I............I aint a charity case, my Mum pointed out "if you had the money and wanted to see them would YOU send them tickets?" Yes said I.........so that was it sorted!
if they want to do this for you..let them! You would probs do it for them if you could.

[Arumlily]

It is a good feeling being appreciated! I hope you have a lovely time.

[star]

We all live within our means Mick, that kind of money wont be as much to Nick as it would be to you or I. You say you dont do much, but it takes your time and effort. And you got the name back, they obviously think you are worth giving a nice gift to. Well done you :D

I have received occasionally gifts that I feel are too much for the occasion, but how can you say "No"? The person who has given the gift has wanted to. Best to be polite and a little embarrassed than offend.

Enjoy.........hope you have a great time :D

[GrannieAnnie]

A gift comes from the heart and gets sullied if we: start judging it by its cost, whether large or small, or start wondering if we're worth it, or worry we can't repay in same. I've been thinking lately that hospitality, both giving and receiving it, gets into the same pitfalls which is a shame.

Enjoy your trip!

[Emagggie]

We are off to Stockholm for a long weekend soon. This was a birthday gift to my husband from a good friend who is very rich and very generous.
He knows we cannot possibly repay in the same way, but it gives him great pleasure to entertain in this way. We will provide the champagne  ;D

[manicscousers]

it's always harder to receive than to give,
remember how nice you feel when you give something that gives pleasure
why deny someone that feeling  ;D

[rosebud]

Mick, please except the gift with the good grace it was given to you.ENJOY ;D

[Uncle Joshua]

I will be going but just feel a little bad about the cost.


Watch out for my 51 million pictures.  :)

[star]

Yayyy!! Have a great time ;D

[Ishard]

Mick go ahead and enjoy your gift as the 'giver' would want you to.  ;D

I never feel that a gift is too much ;D

Giving a gift to someone makes the 'giver' feel good whatever the gift is and although it may embarrass me to receive a large gift I always accept in the spirit it was intended.

My hubby brought me a jaguar car  ;) I didn't say 'No its too much take it back' lol

One of the most thoughtfull gifts I ever received was a single flower picked for me by a friend from her garden as I was feeling very down after just receiving some bad news about my mum.

The flower had been nursed by my friend and the head placed into a paper bag whilst growing to make sure it was perfect. And it was!  ;D

The flowers were being grown for her daughters wedding bouquet

[Columbus]

Hi Mick,  :)

I think there are two things going on:

1 You give your time and skills freely to run the website which could be measured in monetary value and saves them web-design agency fees and no doubt they get a dedicated service. You don`t do it for profit you just do it because you can.

2 They are in a position to give you something freely. No strings attached. Just because they can.

These two things balance each other out. Each party gets to be the giver and the receiver of whatever the other has to offer. Its not trade or payment.
Its just what people can do.

Other people don`t have anything I want but if I see they are throwing something away I might ask for it on the spur of the moment. On the whole I can provide for my own needs and anything else I can ask for. (Usually lifting, carrying or transporting things or me) (Or jars, I always need jars)  ;D

Its like helping people on the allotment, all sorts of help and give and take goes on all the time. Anyone who wants to spoil it could but then mostly they spoil it for themselves.
I like the movie where the boy says "Pass it forward" I had that idea ages ago.

From time to time I babysit, do DiY, fix computers, give fruit or veg or free labour, etc for others.
I`m happy to help and support where I can without reward but with the idea that someone else gets help later on. This is just what people do. If a gift is made as payment I accept it for their sake but I feel the person has missed the point and devalued whatever I was able to do for them.

Anyway, the point is to allow people to give and take without thought of reward whilst guarding against being taken for a fool or being obligated.

Enjoy your trip, Col