Topic: YOU CAN'T DO WORK OF ANY SORT AT THE ALLOTMENT TODAY!

[Trixiebelle]

You can't dig, plant, water, sow or EVEN SIT IN THE GREENHOUSE DOING NOTHING because ......

A: It's too wet
B: It's too dry
C: It's too windy
D: It's not windy enough
E: It's not wet enough
F: It's not dry enough
G: The moon isn't in the right place
H: The sun isn't in the right place
I: The sun is over the yard-arm
J: The sun is UNDER the yard-arm
K: The moon is made of cheese
L: The swallows are not back from Africa yet
M: Mr. Delaney & his donkey are not back from their Caribbean cruise yet
N: The IKEA Summer sale hasn't started yet
O: It's 'Slug Amnesty Day'


Etc etc etc etc ..  ::)

HONESTLY!!!! The advice I get from the older guys at the allotment is SOMETIMES precious, but all these RULES  ::) It's a wonder they get anything done!

Maybe there is just ONE DAY A YEAR when all the conditions are favourable & they put on a HUGE spurt to plant, weed, water & launch pest-control tactics?

I love 'em to bits though  :-*

Have you got any OTHER rules that I need to put in my 'Gardener's Bible According to St. Dario & his 12 Disciples of Compost'?  ;D

[Rhubarb Thrasher]

clout-cast nowt
May ain't out

[Need a Leek]

Sneak down to your lottie on pension day ;D... oh yes!!! never eat yellow snow.

Cheers
Tony

[Trixiebelle]

And hence, I have not taken my vest off yet Rhubarb!

[Rhubarb Thrasher]

And hence, I have not taken my vest off yet Rhubarb!

it's to do with vests?

[Amazin]

I've just heard the weather forecast on the radio - this evening, rain will become persistant in the South East.  Become?? I was up the lottie this morning and I can advise the BBC that slowly sinking 6" into the mud tells me it's been persisting down for two days solid.   :'(

Don't know which window they use for their forecasts but I'll happily lend them one of mine.

Rules?  Elderflower champagne helps overcome the need to wear a vest...

...or maybe just the inclination

 ;D

[Fork]

I just checked the weather report for the next few days for this area....rain rain and even more rain.

I can cope with a bit of rain but the wind is a real pain.I worked in my greenhouses this morning and the panes of glass were sounding not too happy.To tell the truth I was glad when I'd finished so I could leave.Didnt fancy a face full of glass if some panes decided to give way.

[manicscousers]

one of our guys (who doesn't do much on his plot) was heard saying "if you dig more'n a spade deep, it's wet " and went home  ??? ??? ::)

[Trixiebelle]

FORK! I have a recognised condition/phobia about broken glass  ??? I HATE the wind because it ups the possibility of shards of glass scattered across the allotment!

I've had 3 greenhiouses demolished via the gales last year & my nerves are in tatters!

[Froglegs]

And hence, I have not taken my vest off yet Rhubarb!

:P

[Trixiebelle]

Behave!  ;D

[Grandma]

Isn't it good to have her back, folks?  :) :) :)

[Trixiebelle]

Why thank you Grandma  ;D

And just wait 'til I take me vest off  ;D

[saddad]

I can't wait, I've got to go to bed...  ;D

[Gazfoz]

Have you got any OTHER rules that I need to put in my 'Gardener's Bible According to St. Dario & his 12 Disciples of Compost'?  ;D
[/quote]



One years weeds..... Ten years seeds.

[Suzanne]

Advice "rules or ancient wisdom" handed down to me as a newcomer on site:

1. You can't get rid of couch grass or mares tail by digging

(Wasn't told what would get rid of it - possibly a withering stare - so dug it out)

2. Organic gardeners have more path then plot.

(I think this referred to raised beds)

3. We are weeks behind the rest of the world up here because of the east wind.

(This wasn't Rigsby and there is something between us and the Urals!)