Author Topic: The daftest piece of gardening advice you have ever been given?  (Read 1323 times)

Jeannine

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It is very important that you always sow  all seeds the right way up otherwise the roots grow out of the pot..



When God blesses you with a multitude of seeds double  the blessing by sharing your  seeds with other folks.

Curryandchips

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Don't prune until you have learned how to grow something properly.
The impossible is just a journey away ...

Melbourne12

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Gosh.  I'm spoiled for choice.  All the gardening advice that I was given as a lad came from my dad, who was the most charming and nice man, but utterly hopeless at following instructions.  More or less anything he advised was sure to be wrong.  Part of my job was to help him in the garden.

I guess I could encapsulate quite a lot of the wrong advice in two recommendations:

(1) If the instructions say 1 capful in 2 gallons of water, 2 capsful in 1 gallon of water will be at least twice as good.

(2) Dried blood is the supreme fertiliser to ensure prolific and beautiful blooms.  Apply it early and often.

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Ho, yus.  Many is the number of innocent plants we slaughtered.


carrot-cruncher

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Make sure when planting chitted spuds to plant them eyes up!!!

For years I believed my grandfather and followed this instruction religiously.....d'oh!!!

CC
"Grow you bugger, grow!!"

davyw1

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Why don,t you get some beer for your slugs
When you wake up on a morning say "good morning world" and be grateful

DAVY

Emmalm

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'You won't get anything out of the allotment starting at this time of year, just dig it for next year.'

From an older timer whose plot backs onto mine at beginning of May.


Em x

kitten

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'You don't want to believe anything they tell you on the telly' from our lottie neighbours, who spray everything religiously and keep trying to get us to roundup our whole plot  ::)
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened

grawrc

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You're far too late for garlic (in November).

Amazin

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"Why don't you take up gardening?"

By me, to me, 25 years ago...

 ;D
Lesson for life:
1. Breathe in     2. Breathe out     3. Repeat

woody

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Don't eat yellow snow :P

marestail murderer

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Re: The daftest piece of gardening advice you have ever been given?
« Reply #10 on: May 28, 2007, 07:14:14 »
"put it there..........its out of the wind"......................wifes advice on siting a new rather flimsy ex greenhouse!

cacran

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Re: The daftest piece of gardening advice you have ever been given?
« Reply #11 on: May 28, 2007, 07:55:18 »
LOL!!!!!

Trixiebelle

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Re: The daftest piece of gardening advice you have ever been given?
« Reply #12 on: May 29, 2007, 09:25:02 »
"Here, try this incredibly marvellous concentrated fertilizer I have made out of Ifzal's pigeon muck. It will be good for the peas"

Au revoir petits pois  ::) Thank you Ahmed!
The Devil Invented Dandelions!

kenkew

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Re: The daftest piece of gardening advice you have ever been given?
« Reply #13 on: May 29, 2007, 12:44:16 »
'Don't feed and water on Sunday's. Plants are like people, they need one day a week to rest'...!

Froglegs

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Re: The daftest piece of gardening advice you have ever been given?
« Reply #14 on: May 29, 2007, 13:59:32 »
As long as it keeps the the sun off ya head .......it does not matter.......nobody will laugh......it's a nice hat. :-[

kt.

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Re: The daftest piece of gardening advice you have ever been given?
« Reply #15 on: May 29, 2007, 20:39:43 »
From my brother:  DON'T DO IT!!!!!!
All you do and all you see is all your life will ever be

cambourne7

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Re: The daftest piece of gardening advice you have ever been given?
« Reply #16 on: May 31, 2007, 12:19:13 »
2 people on the forum suggested i pea into a bucket and pour it on the compost bin. Before i had a shed they tryied to suggest it would be ok and everyone would turn around and not look.

DOH!

 

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