Author Topic: Are you a beginner or an expert? (Read 6377 times)

tim · « **Reply #20 on:** March 14, 2006, 06:41:42 »

Amazin - add to that list that I have TWICE pinned my foot to the ground when slamming the fork into the ground at the end of a long dig. And then tried to walk away.

Mimi · « **Reply #21 on:** March 14, 2006, 07:07:53 »

I'm with Amazin' and Tim. Can you also include in that list a scratched cornea from a twig in the left eye 8) from bending too close to pick a daffodil. I have never know pain like it.

myrtle · « **Reply #22 on:** March 14, 2006, 08:16:46 »

Don't forget the 'not keeping your fingers out the way of secateurs while pruning' one. Nearly severed me digits more than once. :o

I am an expert in my garden and allotment only. I do things my way and it usually works but I'm always learning new tricks and trying new things out.

I don't think gardening is about expertise so much as sharing knowledge. :)

Bodolph · « **Reply #23 on:** March 14, 2006, 08:24:26 »

Since we are adding to the catalog of disasters; clipping an axe off you foot! While naturally wearing all the correct safety gear - shorts, t-shirt, lack of gloves and of course solid footwear - sandals!

djbrenton · « **Reply #24 on:** March 14, 2006, 08:44:14 »

For those who can't decide what they are, here are a couple of pointers

Absolute beginner - has to mark handles of all tools with the word TOP. Has, as some time, dug over someone else's allotment by not recognising yours is the one next door. Has taken the pile of rotting vegetation in that square of pallets to the tip to tidy the plot up. Dug the beds over twice thinking that was 'double digging'. Thinks rotovating a derelict plot will save time in the long run. Gets thirsty at the plot

Beginner - Has read a Monty Don book and thought it was full of expert advice. Knows now why planting the onions close together to save space is a baaad idea. Thinks starting all the seedlings off early will get a headstart on the year. Knows what chitting is. Takes a flask to the plot. Sometimes gets a cuppa off a neighbour.

Middle of the road - Knows what chitting is and gets over 70% of the potatoes the right way up first time. Has tried at least 3 ways of growing carrots. Has had at least 5% harvest in both swedes and turnips. Knows not to plant more than 2 jerusalem artichoke plants and to dig at least 4 ft down to remove them. Knows the pH of their soil and despite lime still can't grow cauliflower. Gets sniffy about the idea of rotovators. Has full brewing facilities in the shed.

Semi pro - CAN grow cauliflower. Still manages just over 5% success with turnips and swede. People ask your advice and you can sound plausible on any gardening subject ( even swede and turnip ). Has grown celeriac that looks more like celeriac than a medusa. Does not get carrot fly. Has tools that no-one else can identify but you wouldn't be without for that once a year job. Has full brewing facilities in shed, neighbours call round.

Pro - When Monty Don is wrong ( as he often is ) it's because he ignored your advice. You don't grow pineapples any more as they aren't a challenge. Last had a seed not germinate in 1997. Can tell pH and nutrient levels by sniffing the soil. You sow by the seasons, others sow by you. People ask your advice and you actually DO know the answer, you also realise you'll never stop being a beginner. You have full catering facilities in your shed and you are in the truck drivers guide to good food.

Jesse · « **Reply #25 on:** March 14, 2006, 08:58:47 »

that's a very good description DJ ;D ;D

Hyacinth · « **Reply #26 on:** March 14, 2006, 09:26:56 »

EXCELLENT! DJ

;D ;D ;D

GREENWIZARD · « **Reply #27 on:** March 14, 2006, 09:33:42 »

funny djb

tim · « **Reply #28 on:** March 14, 2006, 09:53:54 »

Useful!

froglets · « **Reply #29 on:** March 14, 2006, 10:00:14 »

Amazin, ROTFLOL which is a bit embarassing as I'm in the office.

Add to your list, bending down and planting your bum in the patch of nettles behind you.

No idea what level to pick, as you say, the plants seem to work it out just fine most years. I'm definitely turning into my gran, I bake scones without measuring anything, sniff the weather & garden by "feel" as in "feels about right". Not starved yet.....

growmore · « **Reply #30 on:** March 14, 2006, 10:01:42 »

Gardening is one big learning curve ....On lotty plots there are dozens of experts but it is they guy who says nowt because he is busy filling his barrow with produce that you need to take note of ... ;)
Curry a PH meter is a must . ;D ;D Anyhow it's good PR when we walk around garden sticking the ph meter in it looks as though we know what we are doing cheers ..Jim

Curryandchips · « **Reply #31 on:** March 14, 2006, 10:14:00 »

Well perhaps I will mention the pH meter thing to my wife, so she can mention it to family ... I will probably get several next Christmas ... they will all sit unused in the drawer though ... The most technical piece of kit I have on my allotment is a ball of string ! :)

Zippy Seale · « **Reply #32 on:** March 14, 2006, 11:01:11 »

I would have considered myself higher, but moving and having a totally different type of soil, gone from lovely dark, black stuff to very grey heavy clay, I am a beginner again...???
Having the advantage of previous knowledge has upped my rating.:)
At the end of the season, if it is on my plate, tasting great, and devoured with agusto, then I consider myself an expert.... ;D

lorna · « **Reply #33 on:** March 14, 2006, 11:35:36 »

Sorry Trixiebelle I can't vote. Was going to vote Beginner Beginning to learn (veg)
BUT who is Alan Titchmarsh please?? ;D

Larkspur · « **Reply #34 on:** March 14, 2006, 13:06:08 »

Quote from: myrtle on March 14, 2006, 08:16:46

Don't forget the 'not keeping your fingers out the way of secateurs while pruning' one. Nearly severed me digits more than once. :o

I am an expert in my garden and allotment only. I do things my way and it usually works but I'm always learning new tricks and trying new things out.

I don't think gardening is about expertise so much as sharing knowledge. :)

Thanks for letting me know there is someone else out there. I thought I was the only gardener stupid enough to come close to cutting off a digit with a pair of secateurs. Painfull isn't it :(

Trixiebelle · « **Reply #35 on:** March 14, 2006, 13:22:59 »

And what about:

Being nearly knocked out by a giant cooking apple after throwing sticks into a tree to get it down? I know it's how gravity was discovered but I nearly took myself off to A&E. Apple Crumble Conscussion.

DJ! ;D Excellent!

aquilegia · « **Reply #36 on:** March 14, 2006, 13:42:49 »

I voted Middle, although that's probably being a little generous!

I'm pretty good on things like herbs and some periennials, know most of my weeds once they get going (but not before the true leaves) and can give advice to beginners. But I still do everything too early (or too late), and think that things will fix themselves when they just won't. And I know nothing about brassicas (except radishes!) and tropical plants. Or lawns.

I can do a good double dig and know which way up the compost should be!

mc55 · « **Reply #37 on:** March 14, 2006, 19:16:36 »

well so far things seem to have been going quite well and thought perhaps I'm a middle of the roadie ... until my mum, after querying why she couldn't see my shallots at the w/e, explained I should have planted them on top of the soil ... not an inch under it >:(

.... will send myself to the back of the class :'(

Ragged Robin · « **Reply #38 on:** March 14, 2006, 22:13:41 »

Now I'm really confused!

Think i'll be a backward beginner! But did slice my nose open when a saw fell off the wall in the shed! So heading for expert but backward!

DenBee · « **Reply #39 on:** March 15, 2006, 08:19:51 »

I'm not sure just where I fit in (in the first 'half' of the options of course).

I know what I'm supposed to do, but I have no idea what will happen when I do it. :D

News:

Poll

How much do you think you know about gardening? Are you an 'Absolute Beginner' or an 'Expert'?

Author Topic: Are you a beginner or an expert? (Read 6377 times)