Old Tom had been export manager for his company for many years, but when he reached retirement age the fall in the stock market had decimated his pension and the future looked a bit bleak, so he decided to start up his own export advisory business and opened a little office in the High Street. Because of his vast experience, and his even vaster range of contacts, his business soon began to boom, and old Tom decided that he needed a good secretary, so he put up a notice in his window reading:
Secretary wanted
Good prospects
Must be able to type
Must be computer literate
Must be bilingual
This is an equal opportunities establishment
The next morning when Tom arrived to open the office he found a dog waiting outside, and as he went in it followed him. Old Tom, who was fond of dogs, patted it and said "And what can I do for you?" The dog raised its paw and pointed to the notice. Very amused, Tom said "Well, you`ve got to be able to type". Silently the dog trotted across to the desk, jumped onto the typists chair, and at 60 words per minute typed an immaculate letter of application for the job. Somewhat taken aback, Tom said "I`m afraid that`s not all. You`ve got to be computer literate". The dog jumped off the typists chair, trotted across to the computer, and quickly typed in a complicated programme which opened into a spreadsheet for calculating P.A.Y.E and V.A.T.
Old Tom was, by now, starting to get a bit worried. "I`m sorry" he said "but I`m afraid I just can`t employ a dog. I`d have all sorts of problems with National Insurance and Employers` Indemnity". The dog trotted across to the notice and pointed to the line reading "This is an equal opportunities establishment".
Tom was getting desperate, then suddenly inspiration dawned. "I,m sorry, you`re very talented, but you have to be bilingual". The dog looked at him calmly for a few moments, then said...
"MEEOW"
