King Arthur was holding court at Camelot one day when a messenger arrived from his cousin in the North. The cousin`s kingdom was beset by Danes, and the cousin needed urgent help. King Arthur summoned Merlin and explained the situation to him. "The problem" Arthur said "is that I don`t like leaving Guinevere alone here with a bunch of womanising knights. How can I be sure that she will be safe from dishonour?" Merlin went away to devise a solution and came back later with a cunningly devised and beautifully made chastity belt in polished gold. Arthur examined it carefully and admired it, but pointed out that there was a large aperture in the belt at precisely the point where a woman would be most vulnerable. "Ah," said Merlin, "but watch closely", and he placed a twig in the aperture, whereupon a razor sharp guillotine blade snapped down and severed the stick. Arthur was delighted, and having duly accoutred Guinevere in the belt and pocketed the key, he left Lancelot and half his knights to guard his kingdom, and rode off to the wars with Merlin and the other half of his knights.
Six months later, and after many victories, the noble king returned to his kingdom. As he neared Camelot all he could think of was whether Merlin`s ruse had worked and whether any of his knights had attempted to betray him. He mentioned this to Merlin, who chuckled, and said "When we get to Camelot my lord you must command all the knights to line up in the courtyard and lower their nether garments, and you will soon see whether any have betrayed you".
As Arthur dismounted, he gave the command, the knights lined up and lowered their nether garments, and it was obvious that with one exception all the knights were missing an important appendage and had betrayed him. The one exception was, of course, Sir Lancelot, and Arthur turned to him and embraced him and said "Gallant Sir Lancelot, you are, as always, the must honourable and trusted of my knights. Have you no words of welcome for your king?"
But gallant Sir Lancelot was speechless
