The Vet`s waiting room was nearly full, and sitting at one side were three dogs, a setter, a spaniel and a collie, and each with its owner. The three dogs eyed each other up for a time (as dogs do), then finally the setter said to the spaniel "What are you here for then?" The spaniel sighed mournfully and said "Well, I`ve been having a bit of trouble with the old waterworks lately. I usually manage to get through the back door in time, but last night the master and missus went out unexpectedly, leaving me locked in the kitchen, and stayed out for several hours and I couldn`t contain myself. Unfortunately they`d just had new carpet tiles in the kitchen and I soaked them all". "So you`ve come to be cured?" asked the setter. "No, I`ve come to be put down" replied the spaniel. "So, what about you then? The setter turned his head and looked reproachfully at his owner, and said "Well, the master bought the mistress a new Ferrari Testarossa for her birthday, and she insisted on putting me in the back seat when she took it out for a trial run. Now I don`t know whether you`ve ever been in one of those things, but what with the speed and the cornering and the way my mistress drives, well...it scared the sh*t out of me - literally - all over the brand new luxury leather back seat. Mistress said it was completely ruined. So I`m here to be put down"
The two dogs sat in silence for several minutes, ruminating on the vagaries of man, then they both turned to the collie. The spaniel asked "So what are you here for then?" The collie replied "Ah! You see my mistress here. Gorgeous isn`t she? And she has this habit of doing all her housework in the nude in the summer - says it saves washing. Well yesterday morning I was lying on the living room rug when she comes in with the Hoover, and next minute she`s on her hands and knees vacuuming under the sofa with her back to me. Well I just couldn`t help myself, could I? It was just like birthdays and Christmas all rolled into one. Whoopee!" . "So you`re here to be put down as well" commiserated the spaniel....
"No. She`s brought me to have my nails clipped"
