Topic: A Question?

[Icyberjunkie]

lmao   got no one working in the office now cos I just read these out they are all to busy laughing.    ;D ;D

Iain

[montanum]

ROAD SIGN.       Slow Old Peoples Home.   So where do the more sprightly go?

[montanum]

And for the original question.
                     ERIC,DON'T DO IT

[undercarriage plan]

Bit concerned, he's gone a bit quiet..... :o  Lottie

[Palustris]

I was brought up not to speak with my mouth full, you will have to wait until I have finished this finger roll!



Heard one on TV just. "This is where the cooking begins in earnest."

Well in our house the cooking begins in the oven!

[undercarriage plan]

LOL!! OK you win Eric! That funny! But poor Ernest.. ;D Lottie

[Palustris]

Gardening on TV.
 Don't even think about it, the soil does terrible things to the insidewhen it falls through those little slots in the back of the set!

[undercarriage plan]

Think I might fall off as well......... ;D Lottie

[Juliet]

How about this one:

Time flies.  You can't.  They move too fast.

[undercarriage plan]

AAHHAAA!! Got it! Am I as slow as I think I am...... ::) ::) ::), on second thoughts.....ignorance is bliss, don't answer that!!
Lottie  ;D

[Hex]

Time flies like an arrow but fruit flies like a banana

[undercarriage plan]

You got me Hex!! Had to ask OH  ::) ::) ::) But don't tell Eric....
Lottie  ;D

[Icyberjunkie]

Can you do Mexican in a microwave or does it need a whole stadium?

[montanum]

I don't know nothing ,so surely I must know something.
                                  Montanum

[undercarriage plan]

I'm so sad!! Said to hubbie,"Do you know any little, confusing one liners? Cos I don't", his repsonse? " You mean clever things......." ::) ::) ::) I will come up with one, I will,                  I will, I will.......Lottie  ;D

[Palustris]

If sleeping dogs may lie then do they tell the truth when awake?

[Juliet]

This statement is a lie.

(Think about it).

[Palustris]

I just got a stainless steel spade for my wife.

A fair swap I reckon!

[redimp]

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

Sometimes too much drink is not enough.

The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.

I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it.

Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Error, no keyboard -- press F1 to continue.

There's too much blood in my caffeine system.

Hard work has a future payoff. - Laziness pays off now.

What is a 'free' gift? - Aren't all gifts free?

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Old soldiers never die; young ones do.

If you're right 98% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%?

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

Avoid cliches like the plague.

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?

All's well that ends.

[undercarriage plan]

Well, that's me snookered Redclanger!! That's all of them! Will have to come up with cunning plan......Oh dear  :-\  Lottie