Topic: Panto Time cont...

[Hugh_Jones]

The script writing has started, Scene 1 completed and Scene 2 started.  So that Lishka can start casting the result so far is:-

THE PANTO

Act 1:
Scene 1 – Opens on a woodland glad, in centre of which stands large tree (oZzY). A ring of village maidens dances around tree, taking it in turns to step forward and kiss the trunk while reciting couplets such as
                      “Wondrous tree so gnarled and old;
                       make my lover tall and bold”
and
                     “Forest tree so strong and wise;
                     send me a husband with blue eyes” etc.

Suddenly all stop and look stage left. Chorus – “Here`s Reginald”
Enter Reginald (Note – Junior male lead; good looking etc) – Sings (to tune of Mary from the Dairy)
                     I`m in love with Dottie from the lottie;
                    and Dottie from the lottie loves me!
Chorus (village maidens) sing repeat (“He`s in love with … etc)

Loud cry of despair from offstage right, and on stumbles old crone (Note – careful casting here – Eric, perhaps) She cries “Stop your revels. The wicked Sheriff of Nottingham and his men have been to our village to collect the taxes.  They have destroyed Dorothy`s allotment and stolen all Reginald`s crops, and Dorothy is distraught with grief”
Chorus (maidens) dance round the old crone and sing in  unison
                     “Dottie`s potty
                     `cos her lottie
                      suddenly is not so hot;
                      Reggie`s veggie`s
                      cut in wedges
                     – all gone in the Sheriff`s pot.”

Interrupted by brief roll on kettle drums as at that moment a handsome figure clad in red   falls out of tree and springs to his feet.
Chorus        
             “`Tis or favourite friend Will Scarlet;
                 he will tell us what to do;
                 show us how to beat this varlet;
                 see he gets what is his due”
 
Will (Note: more careful casting here – must be young and handsome but not as much as Reggie)
“I was asleep in this mighty oak (gives tree a resounding slap – wakes up oZzY, who groans) and I could not help overhearing these dreadful tidings.  There is but one thing for it – this is a case for Super Robin, the friend of all the downtrodden. Come, follow me”

Exit stage right followed by all singing (to the tune of Off to see the wizard)
     “We`re off to see friend Robin;
      the hero of the play;
      we have no doubt:
      he`ll sort this out:
      the Sheriff`ll rue this day”

Scene closes – curtain!

Scene 2:

(To avoid having to move oZzY we use the same set, with the addition of a few grassy knolls for the merry men to lounge on).
Under the tree is a large cooking pot. Maid Marion (Note: probably be a fight for this part as she gets ravished on stage by the Sheriff)stands washing her panties in the pot and sings (any suitable tune):
         “I wash my panties in the pot;
         and then I make the soup;
          the fellers like the taste a lot;
          it knocks them for a loop”

At that moment enter stage left Will Scarlet followed by Reginald and village maidens who sing in chorus:
             “We`ve come to see friend Robin;
              the saviour of the poor;
              he`ll recover for Reg
              his cherished veg,
              and help Dot grow some more”

Rope drops from tree, and Super Robin slides down to the stage

[budgiebreeder]

Bags I'm first to play Maid Marrion,Brilliant by the way Hugh

[MagpieDi]

WOW !!!!

Hugh.....mega impressive!!

We have one to equal 'The Bard' amongst us!!  ;)  ;D

[Doris_Pinks]

Oh Oh, who is to play Reg???!!! ;D  Do I get to be ravished?! :o And will I get me veges back in time for Christmas lunch?  ???
Very Good Hugh!!  More, More! Dottie P.

[Margaret]

I take it after scene 2 everyone is thirsty and in need of refreshments?

No Ozzy,you are a tree.trees do not guzzle Strongbow,they drink water only.......oh alright then,just the one........... ;D ;D

The wine doth flow,the juice will go
and several bottles too.
But do remember, budding thespians,
We only have one loo.

We do not have a shed on tap,
A compost heap or bucket.
So when you wish to be excused
Please do not say...oh.....dear :-[ :-[ :-[

[Hyacinth]

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


please Sir, please Sir...can I be Grassy Nell and have lots of young men lounging on me???

please????

Lishka

PS Do you like my panto hair-do?

and I say...

"Oh Merry Men
Please tarry here
Disport yourselves upon
My troughs, my peaks,
My smooth, smooth plains,
(and most alluring bum..) "

Right! That's me fixed up then  ::)

[Hugh_Jones]

I haven`t finished yet!

PANTO

ACT 1,

Scene2 (continues from previous script)

Super Robin (senior male lead – careful casting required -  must be handsome, debonair, suave, athletic, sexy - let`s face it, the only one fit to play this part is the idiot writing this rubbish)  dressed in Lincoln Green:-
     Here`s Will Scarlet, come to join us,
     And he`s brought some girls along
     And there`s Reggie and Dot`s mother
     Come to join our merry throng.
     So William strike a merry measure
     `pon your  tuneful Ukelele
     We shall have an evening`s pleasure
     We shall spend a few hours gaily

Will Scarlet shakes his head
     The Sheriff`s gone too far this time
     With what he`s done to poor young Dot
     And as this is your pantomime
     You must strike while the iron`s hot
     Robin you must stop your jesting
     Reggie here is on the rack
     So tonight we must go questing
     For to get his veggies back

Robin nods agreement. And gives loud blast on horn  (Note – have we GOT a horn?)
Merry men all stop lounging about on grassy knolls and pick up their bows and swords.

Robin:
     Come, men, we`ll make this Sheriff suffer,
     We`ll teach a lesson to this lout
     From now on he`ll find life much tougher
     Of that you shall have no doubt

Exit left stage, followed by merry men and Reginald leaving Maid Marion on stage with the village Maidens

As soon as they leave The Sheriff enters right stage (Note – very attractive part, male members of cast should draw lots)

Sheriff sniffs audibly and crosses stage to where Marion is still washing panties in cookpot. Sniffs pot, then dips ladle in and tastes.  This appears to inflame his passions (note: whoever plays the part should extemporise here for several minutes)  Village maidens emit loud cries of alarm and run off to find Robin, and the Sheriff seizes Marion and ravishes her, while Marion recites all 61 verses of Eskimo Nell (going to get that in somehow) (Note: Sheriff will need a bit of staying power to last the course - no good picking Tim)

As Marion`s recitation finishes there is a flash of lightning, and tree (oZzY) falls over onto Sheriff, pinning him to stage.

Robin and Merry Men re-enter, stage left

Robin:
  Ha! At last we`ve caught the blighter
  Now he`ll pay for all his deeds
  We shall make his purse much lighter
  AND he`ll buy Dot some more seeds
  So off we`ll go to Reggie`s village
  To see how best to make him pay
  We shall teach him not to pillage
  Will said he`d live to rue the day.

EXIT ALL

 Curtain descends

INTERVAL.  (Note: let oZzY out of fallen tree and refresh with several pints of Strongbow.  Drag tree off stage)

     

[Ozzy_aka_Pothead]

Psssst Hugh (I iz whispering I iz, and i Iz dead good at it)

dont forget the poison ivy witch, who seduces the tree wiv her gossamer charms and then I can play a BAD BAD NAUGHTY NAUGHTY tree, and start rubbing out lumberjacks.. well they started it :)....
Oh and I iz glad Lish iz the Grasy Nell. wuz worried there, cuz they require a lot of method
acting they do, and lish is dead good with the meths... as we thespoes say :):0

oh and another thing hugh
..... "drag tree of stage" well whats all this then? why oh why do you have to get a bloke to dress up as a lady tree off stage?  I'm the tree around here
and there will be no sneaking inlesser tree actors, remember hugh the audience aint daft... They will smell a rat a mile off
:):):):)

Itz dead good so far apart from that tree business which is al sorted now :)  


oZzY %)

[budgiebreeder]

Applause much applause and more applause ENCORE,ENCORE.

[Mrs Ava]

Fantastic Hugh 'Shakespear' !  Now, you had better start casting.   ;D

[Ragged Robin]

    Oh wonderfully done lyric Hugh Jones
     You are truly a poet right down to your bones
     The script what you wrote is beyond compare
      And for a part we have to prepare
     Principle boy I think for me
      Tradition dictates he's a she
      I could wear high-heeled boots
       then with bow and arrow shoot
       the evil sheriiff ,most unwise
       to mess with me while i slap my thighs!!
       As to who should play dashing Reg
       I say Admin Dan would fit the peg  

[Hugh_Jones]

THE PANTO (contd)

ACT 2

Scene 1

The scene is Dorothy`s allotment in the village – a scene of desolation

Centre stage is a HUGE brussels sprout plant (this part has been especially written for oZzY as there are no trees in the lottie). Dorothy stands by the plant wringing her hands.

Dorothy:
      “Oh my poor lottie; all is gone
       Save this huge Brussels sprout      
       Alas he stands there all alone
       Because they couldn`t pull him out
       And my poor Reggie, where is he?
       I think he`s to the green wood fled
       Oh why ever did he flee
       I`d rather have him in my bed!”

(At this point oZzY leans over and wraps a consoling leaf around her shoulders while she weeps)

        “But hark! Who comes hither?”

Enter stage right Super Robin, leading the Sheriff on a rope and followed by the merry men, who are escorting a motley crowd of bedraggled soldiers, and Reginald, the village maidens and the old crone.
Robin:
     "We`re here to see that on this day
       The Sheriff should put right his wrong
       We met this other lot on the way
       And thought we`d bring them all along
       Your lottie they will now restore
       To what it was but yesterday
       And make it as it was before
       And nobody shall say us nay"

Friar Tuck: (Got to get him in somewhere!)

       “Aye, set to work you villains all
       Get busy with those forks and rakes
       So put those plants back straight and tall
       And get it right for all your sakes”

The merry men hand out a selection of gardening tools to the soldiers
(NOTE: cast members please bring their own tools to save costs)

The Sheriff and the soldiers all pretend to be gardening and planting, while the village maidens pair off with the merry men and sit or lie on whatever bits of spare scenery the props department can provide. Two scantily clad village maidens make a beeline for oZzY and start picking his sprouts and stroking his stalk (You can interpret that in any way you like!). They eventually pull him up by the roots and take him behind the shed.
Reggie goes over to Dorothy and embraces her
(Duet):
Reggie:      "You should have known that I`d return"
Dorothy:      "How could I ever doubt you?"
Reggie:            "His lesson now the Sheriff will learn"
Dorothy:       "I just can`t live without you

KISS

Curtain


           

[ina]

clap clap clapperdeeclap clap. BRAVO!!!!!! clap clap clap.

You are all fantastic! What a bunch of talented people are hiding in them there lotties!

[Hugh_Jones]

THE PANTO (contd)


ACT 2

Scene 2

The scene is another angle of the forest glade (Act 1 Sc.2). oZzY`s tree is at the side (has to look like a different tree, obviously)  The cooking pot is in the middle with Maid Marion washing more panties.

Enter stage right Super Robin with all the merry men and the village maids.

Robin goes across to tree, and finds large arrow with a sheet of paper stuck on it. Pretends to read message

Robin:
             “Now we are back within our glade
              Our duty has been done
              There is but one thing to cast shade
              Upon our merry fun”

Chorus – all:
          “Tell us what that is, Super Robin”

Robin:
            “Prince John is on his way to see
             The Sheriff at Nottingham castle
             And I can`t help but think that we
             Are going to get some hassle
             He wants to steal the offering
             To which we all have paid
             As ransom for our noble King
             And it will be waylaid
             We cannot let this fearful pair
             Usurp our Monarch`s throne
             And we must save King Richard fair
             Before our work is done”

At that moment oZzY`s tree splits open and oZzY steps out. oZzY is clad in armour and wearing the cross of St. George on his breastplate
(NOTE: it may seem odd to have a republican Irishman playng King Richard, but this is done in the interests of p.c. and to prevent any difficulties with the Race Relations Board)

oZzY:
             “Tis good to see, ye faithful band
               That there are those within this land
               Defenders of their Monarch true
               And now I can reveal to you
               That tho` of a tree I took the part
               I am King Richard Lionheart”

At this point all kneel. King Richard unsheathes his sword and taps Super Robin on shoulder

King: (it`s easier to type than oZzY all the time)

            “Arise Sir Super Robin, bold and fair
             And wed Marion – you`ll make a pair
             Your old lands back I will endow
             To you, so  friar wed them now”

Robin and Marion join hands and Friar Tuck produces a book and mumbles a bit.
Then everybody has a ladleful out of the stockpot and gets randy.  Robin takes Marion behind what`s left of the tree.  The two maidens who had played with oZzY`s Brussels sprouts re-appear and drag him off somewhere and everybody else has an orgy.

FINAL CURTAIN.

Curtain rises again, and all cast come on in various stages of undress and take bow
Loud cries of Author! Author! From the audience

CURTAIN descends again and everybody gets paralytic except oZzY and the two maidens, who can`t be found.
           

[budgiebreeder]

Brilliant Hugh just Brilliant

[MagpieDi]

THE PANTO (contd)

and everybody else has an orgy.

:o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  :o  

Flapping my wings frantically.........in a frenzy............ of eager anticipation!!

[Ragged Robin]

I humbly bow my head in admiration .......... you are a true master

[Mrs Ava]

ooo haven't been to an orgy for ages!   :P

[Hugh_Jones]

E.J. If all 387 members of this site - plus Dan - all turn up it`s going to be SOME orgy.  I think we shall have to restrict it to members of the cast, (and the author, of course), and that`s Lishka`s job as producer.

[Ozzy_aka_Pothead]

Wotz an Orgy? ::)

So Lish is producing then Hugh..explains why she wanted to be the grassy Nell... she can make sure we. soz not we, cuz I can include meself in the following statement,, you lot dont friar tuck the whole thing up :)  

Tell ya what Hugh, I have been laughing so much, that my belly hurt... cheers mate :)

oZzY %)