Author Topic: Infamy - oh yes they've got it informe.........  (Read 789 times)

Nora42

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Infamy - oh yes they've got it informe.........
« on: December 13, 2016, 20:32:39 »
Members of my committee are not happy with me, not happy at all. I am the chair of an allotment committee that doesn't hold the purse strings - we just collect the rent and make sure all is running along smoothly.

I have had the most terrible 2 years, my sister died from pancreatic cancer , my evil step farther died a year later from bowel cancer and a very good friend of mine died of a rare form of leukaemia. I was feeling quite dreadful I have always pushed myself and never stopped to think why I was such a hyper active stress monkey. I have always been thin and my GP has always suspected I had a hyperactive thyroid, over the last year I put on nearly 3 stone, lost my memory, lost all my joy and basically lost interest in life. Grief I thought it must be grief. I have a hypo thyroid  going from hyper to Hypo in one enormous extreme to the other. This has now been balanced but it's taken a while and I was beginning to feel better. Then my other half was let go from his job. I had an MRI scan in August which shows I have a triple prolapse of my pelvic organs. (digging potatoes)so I am trying to hold up my Mum, my husband and my pelvic floor. my teenage son is giving me angst and being a little bugger at school.  My anxiety levels are off the scale.

In amongst all that I forgot to organise a meeting, organised a meeting to which only 3 of the 11 that should have been there turned up. And now behind my back 2 or 3 of them have organised a "steering party" I had a meeting with the landlord today and he asked me if I wanted to continue. I got all arsy and said lets call a meeting and the first thing on the Agenda will be a show of hands to tell me who is behind this. the landlord wants me to put together other Agenda items but I think if the answer to item 1 is no thanks then why bother. They at least can tell me to my face
sorry to rant, but here I feel some of you will sympathise at least.

I'll keep you posted.

Nora   
Norf London

Beersmith

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Re: Infamy - oh yes they've got it informe.........
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2016, 21:44:17 »
I am sure everyone at A4all will sympathise with your personal problems and the stresses they bring. But it is especially sad that your allotment, instead of being an oasis of calm and a source of pleasure, simply seems to be adding to the stress.

So console yourself with this thought. What if the worst happens and you are no longer chairperson? 

You would be free of a load of stressful responsibilities and free to enjoy your allotment again with just the simple pleasures of sowing and growing, tending and harvesting. I sometimes get a huge sense of contentment from just standing and looking at my plot. No one can take those things away from you.

So I hope things go well but maybe your landlord is just trying to create space for you to take a break should you need it.

Happy growing.

Cheers. Beersmith


Borlotti

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Re: Infamy - oh yes they've got it informe.........
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2016, 11:54:05 »
Just enjoy the allotment and let someone else do the work. All teenagers are a pain in the neck, part of growing up. Try not to worry or get upset, just do what you think is best.  I was treated much better when I had paid work, and unpaid work can be a pain, as one does get a lot of criticism, which can be hurtful. Hopefully you feel better now, and perhaps at the moment you are not feeling strong and don't want to deal with any stress.  Anyway, I am probably talking rubbish, but wish you all the best whatever you decide.

galina

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Re: Infamy - oh yes they've got it informe.........
« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2016, 16:05:28 »
Nora, rant away ...........

Very sorry to hear about all you have on your plate at the moment.  I can only agree with Beersmith and Borlotti's posts.  Family and your own needs come first,  you don't need to take on extra stress unless you really like the post of chair.  You are allowed to make a mistake once in a while, it happens. 

Enjoy your plot, the friends there and the plants. 

Here's to a very much better New Year for you, Nora and for your family  :sunny:


ancellsfarmer

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Re: Infamy - oh yes they've got it informe.........
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2016, 19:46:13 »
Agree entirely with the previous opinions, just step back, let those who think "they could do better",have a go. Its easy to criticise when you dont have to deliver. Become a "backbencher", enjoy your gardening, spend more time with your lad and if "they" come begging, let them have it with both barrels!

Bill Door

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Re: Infamy - oh yes they've got it informe.........
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2016, 12:49:53 »
Well I think you have done marvelously to get this far without blowing a gasket.

Yes giving up the "chairmanship" will be felt like failure to you because it is probably the one thing that you can rely on as continuing.  However, I think you have decided that your health and family need "pampering".

So my suggestion is that the first item on the agenda is that you wish to give up the responsibilities for personal reasons and that a "temporary" chair be selected from the committee and that you then leave the meeting.  Finding out the who what why or when of the situation will do you no good.  Leaving it all behind will probably earn you a lot of respect from others on the site.  Remember you might wish to go back when circumstances are favourable.

I wish you well and hope you grow long parsnips.

Regards
Bill

pumpkinlover

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Re: Infamy - oh yes they've got it informe.........
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2016, 08:37:29 »
If you feel that you will be able to enjoy just going to the allotment without the hassle of being the Chair then gracefully step down.
If you will feel that you still want to do the role then carry on, what I am trying to say is do what is best for you at this moment in time.
You and your family are what is important, people who like to stir and complain will always be there, when you feel strong you can manage the situation, when you have other priorities  it's harder to do this. It also depends on how the rest of the committee are, if they are not supportive it makes your position harder .
Good luck and my advice is to get your self into the position where you enjoy your allotment.
And I hope life treats you kinder next year.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2016, 08:44:09 by pumpkinlover »



picman

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Re: Infamy - oh yes they've got it informe.........
« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2016, 10:21:14 »
I dont think you should be concerned about stepping aside, I had many years as allotment treasurer, but things got difficult in one way or another so I gave the committee  6 months to find a replacement, and stepped down, They now realise its not easy finding people with 'skills' to give up their time plus keeping everybody happy and the amount of work involved, now they keep asking me to come back.... But I have more time to enjoy the gardening etc. Your well being is more important than any association committee. Regard picman           

SMP1704

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Re: Infamy - oh yes they've got it informe.........
« Reply #8 on: December 31, 2016, 16:20:49 »
Nora, rant away :blob7:

You've had such a tough time and have kept going.  It's easy to see that the littlest thing would be the final straw.  Everyone else has offered excellent advice; let it go and get back to enjoying the calm and tranquillity of your plot.

I seem to be Chair as well as Secretary of our allotment association, because no one else has time (but being self-employed and juggling contracts means I have oddles  :BangHead:)

As for the other holding up, have you found your way to Gusset Grippers? http://www.gussetgrippers.co.uk/ A physio and mother of four turned comedian...
Sharon
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Re: Infamy - oh yes they've got it informe.........
« Reply #8 on: December 31, 2016, 16:20:49 »