Author Topic: Commettee in almost war state...  (Read 7944 times)

goodlife

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Commettee in almost war state...
« on: March 26, 2015, 11:16:07 »
Whoooahh...I'm feeling quite over whelmed with it all. We have AGM coming but that is my least worry..suspect it is going to be doddle. It is what has happenened before that is now boiling inside of me and I'm trying to get my brain and emotions to gear to make sort of sense of it all...
So here it goes...we had meeting and without going to actual details of the situation....there is division amongst us and the Chairman who should be uniting force is totally out of his debt and is been manipulated into this 'game' that is going on. In the 'other side of the fence' there is some of us who truly try to do best possible job, partly 'the way it has always been done' and partly trying to get some older committee members head around that 'times have changed and we have to do things by the law...Englishman's castle is not truly his own to run as he please anymore'... :BangHead: in same group there is those 'who cannot understand how finances are worked...so therefore we must be fiddling fugures....lets try our best to make things difficult and dazzle to chairman to our side and plan how to replace those who truly run the site...'we want run the show as we want'... :BangHead:
Honestly...it is like watching PM question time but in smaller scale.
Yesterdays meeting I was shouted because..."I'm the one who keeps bringing things up from bloody 'putters and internet...and saying we cannot do this and do that...etc, etc." And no manner of calm talk to make some old fools to understand would work... :BangHead:...so after one heated shouting session from our chairman, I finally lost it, raised my volume (believe me I can get it up quite easily and loud too  :laughing7:.. and I did let out several not very lady like .....'bol*****....bloody....sh** etc etc words  :angel11:....I sounded like a 'miner'... :angel12: (hm...should I start chewing some 'bacca' so look the part too..'spit')
That got their attention and boy it felt good afterwards :glasses9: It didn't achieve anything though andthe same 'back door commettee' went home grinning achieving some victories...at least it was only 'some'.  I've just spent sleepless night churning it all over again and again..weighing our options of 'what next'..I was never that good with game of chess... :BangHead:
I know we haven't done anything wrong...everything has been checked by accountant...all paper work is in place...we've even sourced second opinion second accountant. But I'm short of cunning plans to put these people in their place..allotment society don't have much idea what is going on behind closed doors other than those who are friends with the 'other half of the commettee', they are spreading their evil words tarnishing our reputation with the gossip.
Ok, that is off from chest now...out in the open..and I supposed I'm after some examples how some you might have dealt some unsavoury situations, maybe similar to ours. I'm wondering about bringing it up in AGM but then it definitely would be war situation and there would not be 'negotiation' no more...would be worth it?..not really keen of it...I much rather play their game and get them in their place. Talk in AGM is not really a 'proper way' and probably would not achieve anything as same group would be in committee another year anyway as any discussions would not happen until after the election.  :BangHead: What I have been doing lately is 'leaked' few 'details' about these people to few sympathetic ears..gossip always work its way round and I know 'our side' do have more friends than the 'other side'. I don't even mind these people on the committee..is just want the 'sh** staring' to stop, why can't grown up people bring up issues without it being issued like a challenge of who is being right!?
I would never make a successful cunning Politian..too honest and always wanting best for everybody...but I'm almost ready for change of hearts... :angry5: :disgust: (sharpening my horns and putting the halo away...)

HELP!
« Last Edit: March 26, 2015, 11:42:03 by goodlife »

Bill Door

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Re: Commettee in almost war state...
« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2015, 12:14:25 »
This sounds like a total "mare".  Having said that all I have understood from your piece is anger, possible wrong doing and fear over finances.  I don't condemn what you say and it is good that you have taken to opportunity to get rid of some of your anger/disbelief.

First thing to say is that you must take the chance to lose the emotions and then sit down and write down exactly what you think the problem is. That will really take sometime, because your first thought about the problem could be just the symptom of the problem and not the problem itself.  For instance you wake up one morning and turn the kettle on for a cup of tea.  ten minutes later the kettle is still cold.  First thought is kettle has gone wrong.  But you should be logical and start with a plan to sort the problem and not the sympton.  So if you dash out and buy another kettle you might find that the new one does not work either.  You look around and find that the switch is off.  So you turn it on but the kettle still does not work.  You go through a logical process and finally your partner of many years walks in the room and says they had the same problem with the kettle and had concurred that the curcuit fuse had gone in the box.  Ok you understand what I am saying.

I think you have to dig through most of the information you hold and speak to both sides to finally come down to what the problem is within the group.

For what it is worth I think there will have to be compromise and a lot of discussion, particularly with the committee members.  Having a split committe is not good when it spills over into personal attacks.  The aspect of setting up "opposing groups" is not good.

You will have a long task ahead of you.  The AGM might be worse than you think.

Best of luck

Bill

Redalder

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Re: Commettee in almost war state...
« Reply #2 on: March 26, 2015, 12:44:32 »
I agree entirely with what Bill says, not easy but try to calm down, sit down and think it through.

Any chance of quietly approaching the Chairman to see if he will do the same and come up with what he thinks is the problem. If approached for help most people are pleased to be included and asked to do something positive, especially if you make him feel in control rather than badgered from both sides. Then a Committee meeting with everyone asked to send a written note in advance saying what they think to the Chairman (at Chairman's suggestion of course) might just sort it out.

goodlife

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Re: Commettee in almost war state...
« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2015, 14:23:26 »
Thank you for you both :happy7:
I agree totally about cooling down first and actually typing down for some the steam was big help...so much so, that clouds have already started to part and I'm seeing what my next step of action is going to be.
Sadly lot of it is down some personal issues between two people and because I'm friends with other one..it kind of spills over onto me too. Another sad thing is that although our Chairman is generally ok and been chairman in past in other societies...times have changed and he haven't, because he cannot 'digest' lot of paperwork and legalities involved, rather than admitting not being able, he does try to hide it by flexing his muscles, anger, sharp tongue and bully tactics. He was voted to his position because of his long history in the society rather than suitability..more of honorary appreciation for more 'mature' age.
So yes...I know what is going on and why...sadly it is lot of it down to pettiness.. :BangHead:
And what I'm going to do with the situation? I have come to conclusion that actually feels right in my gut.. :sign13: :sunny:
It is going to involve lot of paperwork :evil5:....putting some of the arguments on paper in such a way that even the most simple people will understand :toothy5:..even if it would involve drawing pictures :glasses9:...calling committee meeting together after AGM, making sure every single member is able to attend and not letting anything out in advance what I'm about to say, must keep them in their toes and guessing :evil1:. I'm going to dazzle everybody with my 'work' by showing how simple things really are when they are not in legal jargon and thoroughly explain why we must take it all into account in our decisions. NOBODY is going to be talking over me while my mouth is on action...not even chairman!..he WILL be sitting quietly on his seat like a little boy and once It is all done, there is absolutely no chance that majority will quibble with any of it...should there still be some that won't bend, I shall pull last card out and result some threat of legal pressure :violent1:..if they should call my bluff, I'm within my rights to call general meeting and then it all have to come out in the open and members can decide what course of action committee should take.
All this aggro is pure ego trip by few people.. nothing have been done wrong, some just won't admit that society is not been run quite within legal perimeter for years....if ever....since it is only just few years back that anybody, including me, ever heard of Allotment Actj!!!! So we really are talking about very basics things to start with!
I was reigned to treasurers jobs 'few' years back without anybody really able show what I should be doing or is expected me/us...us, because previous 'couple', treasurer and secretary decided both quit same time. So were really dropped into deep end, although all paper works and accounts etc all were in place...very little of 'how do things' was written down..all was just 'we used to do this and that'...all just word of mouth. So little by little pair of us have been trying to bring things up to scratch and now that society is going rather well, some think they could do better and with very little true knowledge and too much 'hear say' we are being judged and scrutinized in case we are some how able to fiddle the figures. I'm not that clever... LOL...like there is that much in a pot in first place that nobody would not notice..could not even pay holiday to Skegness with the spare money...'rolling eyes'..
But such is life, we cannot please everybody and you are sure to make somebody jealous when you do well, but it is the how far some are prepared to go upsetting you when you don't play their game.
Ok....I'm going to spend good session on 'puter'...get all written down and ready and then the worst will be off from my mind.
And as for the AGM....truly...it could not be any worst....'the real trouble makers' are not even coming...they just wanted to stir but won't face the meeting knowing they won't get anywhere...and the 'one' that does come, well nothing new, she does try it on every year.. 95% of the members are ok  :icon_cheers: (that's at least something....) :coffee2:
« Last Edit: March 26, 2015, 14:29:07 by goodlife »

andyswarbs

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Re: Commettee in almost war state...
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2015, 22:10:45 »
Our last AGM I, as chair, had a permanent feeling of being very much sat upon amidst some heated debate.  Patience and the realisation people speaking with passion is the life blood of any organisation.  Love it or hate it, that humanity at its best.

goodlife

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Re: Commettee in almost war state...
« Reply #5 on: March 26, 2015, 22:54:07 »
Well...the 'chess game' is on in a big time....watch this space and I will tell you the master plan... :toothy10: AGM is on this Sunday and all is going to happen there and then....can't wait! :icon_cheers:

galina

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Re: Commettee in almost war state...
« Reply #6 on: March 27, 2015, 08:47:47 »
Well...the 'chess game' is on in a big time....watch this space and I will tell you the master plan... :toothy10: AGM is on this Sunday and all is going to happen there and then....can't wait! :icon_cheers:

It all sounds a bit grim - my sympathies - hope all goes well in the end and actual problems and clashing personalities can be separated and dealt with rationally.  You need a hug!  Sorry it has been affecting you personally so badly, just shows how committed you are and how much you want to get it right.  Chin up!  Sounds like you've got a plan - good luck with it  :wave:

goodlife

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Re: Commettee in almost war state...
« Reply #7 on: March 27, 2015, 09:11:08 »
Well...the 'chess game' is on in a big time....watch this space and I will tell you the master plan... :toothy10: AGM is on this Sunday and all is going to happen there and then....can't wait! :icon_cheers:

It all sounds a bit grim - my sympathies - hope all goes well in the end and actual problems and clashing personalities can be separated and dealt with rationally.  You need a hug!  Sorry it has been affecting you personally so badly, just shows how committed you are and how much you want to get it right.  Chin up!  Sounds like you've got a plan - good luck with it  :wave:
Thanks...
Yes it was a slight shocker at first...but I've got over it now. They have rattled me enough now and managed to go over my boiling point, and by doing so, I'm determined to put them on their place...this time they picked on the wrong one :nono:
I'm just writing down all my notes so it is all clear in the day....and do few practice rounds to go through my 'speech'... :toothy10:
I'm quite excited about it all :drunken_smilie:..and have already few butter flies..it is like doing to some big performance :drunken_smilie:
 I know it is not 'really' solving much but at least it will show the bully boys that this girl is not to be meddled with and they are put on their place, just a some order to our ranks and if I achieve that, it is enough, they have few 'avenues' less to turn to....one by one they will be all closed off...  (sorting where the fault is with the non-boiling kettle so it doesn't happen again..  :icon_thumleft:)
« Last Edit: March 27, 2015, 09:20:38 by goodlife »

Bill Door

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Re: Commettee in almost war state...
« Reply #8 on: March 27, 2015, 13:53:20 »
Hmmm!  so you have been out and bought your own kettle and put the electric cable in your pocket. Attack may be the best form of defence but it doesn't give you anywhere to go after failure.


Two things

1)  We were deliberately give two eyes, two ears and only one mouth.

2)  It takes a "big" person to say the big word "compromise".

Bill

goodlife

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Re: Commettee in almost war state...
« Reply #9 on: March 27, 2015, 15:01:46 »
Hmmm!  so you have been out and bought your own kettle and put the electric cable in your pocket. Attack may be the best form of defence but it doesn't give you anywhere to go after failure.


Two things

1)  We were deliberately give two eyes, two ears and only one mouth.

2)  It takes a "big" person to say the big word "compromise".

Bill

Oh no...not a 'new kettle'...actually I've been rummaging in a 'cupboard' and found that our old and original kettle (rule book) is perfectly adequate kettle to boil some water...I just need to remind some how it is works first.... :tongue3:
« Last Edit: March 27, 2015, 15:09:37 by goodlife »

grannyjanny

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Re: Commettee in almost war state...
« Reply #10 on: March 29, 2015, 10:27:51 »
Thinking of you today Good life. It's probably underway as I type. I look forward to your write-up of the days events. Knock Emma dead girl, blind them with science, however you want to put it. You will survive😉👏.

galina

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Re: Commettee in almost war state...
« Reply #11 on: March 29, 2015, 10:44:00 »
Thinking of you today Good life. It's probably underway as I type. I look forward to your write-up of the days events. Knock Emma dead girl, blind them with science, however you want to put it. You will survive😉👏.



Yep, agree with that wholeheartedly - you go girl!   and tell us all about it.    :wave:

goodlife

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Re: Commettee in almost war state...
« Reply #12 on: March 29, 2015, 14:13:16 »
Wellllllll......the event is over.....for now. I'm still a treasurer and secretary is holding his job too....as well as all in committee, even though the division is still there. BUT...It is clear for the members now that we have division within our ranks and who belong to which 'side'..that at least is good thing. What is EXCELLENT thing, one of the 'bully' chaps slipped from his tongue something ...he insisted that committee decided about certain issue and it is to be so, 'end of story'...but members questioned it (who slipped some details before hand so they would know to ask questions? :tongue3:)...and it was suggested to put in vote...and he said; "what is the point being in committee if we cannot rule..." What a blonker..at the previous discussion I had just reminded everybody how the committee is not 'lord of the land'...(should have really mention word tyranny, but didn't think of it at the time)
I was glad to remind him...that ultimately it is the members who decide and if they want to question our decisions...they are in their right to do so...committee is not above the members decisions.... :icon_cheers:

I didn't plan to come forward so strongly with many issues, but since some in the committee seemed to lost their normally so talkative tongues, when we had to answer to our decisions..I spoke out and told everybody how things are and why..there wasn't no reason to hide anything...not from my point of view anyway...

What I gather from the response I have had after meeting...I might have made few permanent enemies, no surprise there...but as well as some new 'friends', some people become to see me in a new light. There has been this though that running the society is been done mainly by secretary and I've been just woman who does computer stuff and print papers. Not quite so..! And the 'enemies' have realized it wasn't the secretary only that they have to reckon with.
Overall, it was OK meeting, VERY heated, few issues didn't go quite as I would have liked, but hey, who am I to argue with...they were majority's decisions and fairly so.. :icon_thumleft: I think we made clear to meeting that there is progress going forward with many things. All the preparations, hours spent on internet collection information, doing running about, talking members etc etc. paid off and the usual people with issues didn't have much to talk about :icon_cheers:
I'm going to give myself now week off from Treasurer's duties and then the work start again...dazzle them and keep members happy when work is seen to be done..seem to be the recipe for success... :icon_cheers: :angel11:
I need some soil therapy now...where is my seeds again....?!
Edit to add....I need some chocolate too... :toothy10:
« Last Edit: March 29, 2015, 14:35:02 by goodlife »

grannyjanny

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Re: Commettee in almost war state...
« Reply #13 on: March 29, 2015, 14:33:28 »
Well done Goodlife :icon_cheers:. Sleep well tonight.

goodlife

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Re: Commettee in almost war state...
« Reply #14 on: March 29, 2015, 14:39:19 »
Well done Goodlife :icon_cheers:. Sleep well tonight.

Thanks dear...I hope I can..at the rate I'm getting through this Dark Hazelnut chocolate bar, flushed down with few cups of coffee...the caffeine quantity is surely keeping going until I collapse on book/spinning wheel/knitting..might take into early hours in the morning...as usual... :glasses9:

rokerman1973

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Re: Commettee in almost war state...
« Reply #15 on: March 29, 2015, 15:31:21 »
Take care.Love from Al in Waterlooville. xx

goodlife

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Re: Commettee in almost war state...
« Reply #16 on: March 29, 2015, 16:00:23 »
Take care.Love from Al in Waterlooville. xx

Thanks..I will... :thumbsup:

galina

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Re: Commettee in almost war state...
« Reply #17 on: March 29, 2015, 17:33:25 »
Good to hear - clear lines drawn, clear explanations and democracy.  You've done good!  A week off sounds about right until after Easter.  Playing with seeds is therapy always.  Enjoy, you deserve it  :wave:

Digeroo

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Re: Commettee in almost war state...
« Reply #18 on: March 29, 2015, 21:00:31 »
Just caught up with this threat.  No good when a committee divides into factions.  I wonder whether the underlying problem is a male/female attitudes.  I thought that a committee was elected to represent the member not to rule the roost.

Not sure mentioning tyranny would have help.

Being the treasurer always seems to be a thankless task.  No one wants to pay more but everyone want more money spent.

The more I hear about committees the more I am glad we do not have one.    But one of the duties is not getting stressed out.  If anyone criticises then propose they take on the treasurers job.  They will normally run a mile.

 

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