Topic: good manners

[ACE]

When any of the grandchildren and even when my own kids were home and a  request for a drink or a sandwich etc was made I ignored them until the magic words were spoken or the article quickly taken back without a word until I heard thankyou.
  They soon got the message. So much so that the youngest at school got his end of term  certificate for having the best manners in his class. What a nice little reward to encourage the kids.

Trouble was, he was not impressed, he wanted the best swimmer in class.

I never got anything like that, but did get the cane for forgetting my manners.

[Digeroo]

I think most people in this country still appreciated good manners.   It cost nothing to be polite.

It is very noticeable on holiday when you come across Russians many of whom simply do not have any manners and simply barge about the place as if no one else exists or matters.  Or Spaniard who will push past you on narrow stair cases without any kind of regard or acknowledgement.  It is not until you meet these things that you realise how polite we are here.

My daughter always complained there were prizes for sports at which she was hopeless and none for Maths.

[alkanet]

When any of the grandchildren and even when my own kids were home and a  request for a drink or a sandwich etc was made I ignored them until the magic words were spoken .......

- give it to me !
- I beg your pardon?
- give it to me!!
- aren't you forgetting a little word?
- give it to me NOW!

[BarriedaleNick]

I think most people in this country still appreciated good manners.   It cost nothing to be polite.

It is very noticeable on holiday when you come across Russians many of whom simply do not have any manners and simply barge about the place as if no one else exists or matters.  Or Spaniard who will push past you on narrow stair cases without any kind of regard or acknowledgement.  It is not until you meet these things that you realise how polite we are here.

My daughter always complained there were prizes for sports at which she was hopeless and none for Maths.

Manners are not universal.  What we consider to be good manners does not necessarily coincide with what other countries consider to be good manners.  In Spain, for example, they really don't use please and thank you very much and you tend to get odd looks if you repeatedly use the words - they think it odd and affected.  In Thailand and many other Asian countries it is very rude to point your feet or show the soles of your feet to others.  Some countries consider tipping to be an insult. Others consider kissing to be good manners when meeting - which I can't stand.  Each country or even locality has it's own set of customs and what is considered to be good manners - even in London what constitutes manners is different.

In other words it is easy to judge others based on what we consider to be good manners and that's fine but equally they are judging you with their own perspective.

[Squash64]

Manners are not universal.  What we consider to be good manners does not necessarily coincide with what other countries consider to be good manners.  In Spain, for example, they really don't use please and thank you very much and you tend to get odd looks if you repeatedly use the words - they think it odd and affected. 

In other words it is easy to judge others based on what we consider to be good manners and that's fine but equally they are judging you with their own perspective.

This is true Nick. I have never, ever heard my husband or any of his relations here use the word 'please' in Italian. If they are speaking English, they say 'please', but never in Italian. 

They have a different outlook on good manners.  For example, children are taught from an early age to greet people politely.  It is considered extremely rude not to. If you visit someone in their house the children will stand and shake hands (or kiss you on the cheek) In my husband's small town it is normal to greet people serving in shops, or the driver when you get on a bus.

We were on a bus in Sicily once and a crowd of teenage school children got on.  They started being noisy and one of the
other passengers went to them and told them to be quiet.  They stopped instantly.  Children are taught to respect their elders, there is even a special form of greeting for people who are older than you are.

But they never say 'please'.

[antipodes]

It's true that manners are cultural. In France, it is normal to say hello and Goodbye in shops, on buses, but also even in places like the doctor's waiting room. Yet the French are not naturally very "smiley" and often appear rude or aloof, when really I think they just have a rather brisk professional manner about them. People who smile too much are not really taken seriously! And yet their language reflects a lot of formality and politeness (Madame this, Madame that). English speakers often complain that the French are rude or expect you to speak French, but my theory is that the French on the whole do not speak English very well and it is a very difficult language for them to master, and I think their attitude is to try and cover up their embarrassment at this. Privately they are very envious of their Northern and Scandinavian neighbours who often speak several languages.

Yes in France everyone is always kissing each other and now when I go back to the UK or Australia I am never quite sure if I should shake hands or kiss or give a little hug... Australians are not very tactile either.

[goodlife]

[
Manners are not universal.  What we consider to be good manners does not necessarily coincide with what other countries consider to be good manners.  In Spain, for example, they really don't use please and thank you very much and you tend to get odd looks if you repeatedly use the words - they think it odd and affected.  In Thailand and many other Asian countries it is very rude to point your feet or show the soles of your feet to others.  Some countries consider tipping to be an insult. Others consider kissing to be good manners when meeting - which I can't stand.  Each country or even locality has it's own set of customs and what is considered to be good manners - even in London what constitutes manners is different.

Word 'please' is not in Finnish language neither..the way we make the question does indicate the intended 'politeness' or lack of it. Although I do tend to use please a lot...but still time to time I simply forget to use it, and it comes down to how my brain is still so deeply wired to speak Finnish as fist language. Mannerism can be very cultural indeed...and often one has to spend time in particular country to learn how they express it. Finns often come across as people with few words..and it is true, we tend to say only what is necessary and show our manners/affection etc in many other ways..not only that, these customs/habits vary depending what part of the country you come from! I'm sure this will be same with many other nationalities. But...when one goes into different country, one just have to make best of it showing one's good manners...even if it not by words...just smile will cover lengthy conversations and is equally understood where ever in the world...

[grannyjanny]

Very true Good life, a smile is universal & can make someone's day a whole lot better. .