Winning the smallest pumkin competition

[emmy1978]

this thread has had me in stitches. Jeannine, pleeeeeeease show us the oak tree in a thimble. If i don't see it i might die! 

[carolinej]

Carefull Jeannine,

if you reveal the pics of your oak tree in a thimble, you may give some secrets away. Although I have seen the pics, and , I must say it is an impressive sight, I would never divulge your secrets of perfect bonsai. To put the ideas in the public domain could lead to all sorts of problems with copywriting ideas etc.

I remember well the year I babysat your bonsai Brussels Sprouts plants while you went on holls. The day I picked them up, a dozen in a matchbox, I was very nervous. They seemed to survive your trip to the Gambia, but I didnt lik all the rules and regulations I had to follow to keep up their regime.

Here's hoping for a bumper crop for you with your pumpkins!

cj

 

[Robert_Brenchley]

I have heard that there are drugs you can give to hyperactive children to calm them down. cj

Ritalin. It makes kids more easily controllable, I don't know about helping them. I don't know what it does to pumpkins.

[carolinej]

Ritalin. It makes kids more easily controllable, I don't know about helping them. I don't know what it does to pumpkins.

Well, we could use this competition as an experiment too. I could try using all the different things we have in the medicine cupboard, to see what effect it has on pumpkins. Would anti histamine shrink them down? Would E45 cream make the skins more supple and so make them swell easier?

Does anyone else have any medication they could give to their pumpkins, and what would be the expected result? 

cj

[coznbob]

Have lots of DIhydrocodeine, it makes me throw up, so maybe I could get bulimic pumpkins, that would keep their weight down!

[emmy1978]

Sorry Jeannine, not trying to steal your secrets! 

[carolinej]

Coznob, now there's a thought!

Emmy, I'm sure you asking to see the pics is completely innocent. I am more concerned with the horticultural spies who trawl through sites like A4A looking for growing secrets to steal!

cj

[emmy1978]

It is innocent caroline!  I just sooooo want to see a tiny oak tree complete with acorns. I feel my life is somehow incomplete now! 

[Hyacinth]

pssssssst Caroline

Send J some Rohypnol - the date rape drug - then, when her little peekin is comotose it can be got at by one of her giant squashes an neither the little'un or J will ever know a thing - till it grows.....and grows.....and grows...

[carolinej]

Oh Alishka! That's very naughty!(But very clever)

cj

[Jeannine]

Oh you wicked woman,my wee babies raped by those monstors, they lttle skins would split.

Caroline with all the abuse you give your babies I am surprised you havent taught them to smoke, that will stump ther growth.

Anyway I am planting ny new seeds this week, no contest then as I decided I am not going to share them. They are called Jumbi Pumpkins, you can google and drool.

XX Jeannine

[carolinej]

Hello

just a quick update on the pumpkin situation in the Johnson household.

Plant.......tiny
Flowers.....none
Fruit.......non existant.

Does this mean I am in the lead?

I am at this very minute considering a pumpkincam, so you can all see how slow my pumpkin is growing!

cj

[Jeannine]

Hi, well hello.

situation in our house... baby pumpkins have been planted out to day.

Plant fairly big,flowers just showing, fruit none.

They have their own wee plot and a wee cloche ,and I am sad as they are out of the nursery now.

We are continuing to call them sweet names, albeit ones that suggest daintiness.

Their siblings have moved on to new homes which will enable us  to concentrate more on wee Jack and his wee sister Jill.

They are excited at the  thought of another branch of the family joining them shortly from America, the land of their roots. Wee Be Little may well be here in time to start a new life this year .  Jack  who is starting his teen years now and is feeling the urge to be protective is especially  looking forward to being able to protect this very diminutive relative.

All is calm and serene in the Yorkshire nursery, and we wish you well.

XX Jeannine

[Jeannine]

Hey Caroline ,Jack and Jill brought his friends home for tea XX Jeannine

[carolinej]

Wow! Now THAT'S a pumpkin patch

cj

[Hyacinth]

Ooooh look! entertaining the Extended Family to tea....nice to see you supporting Old-Fashioned Values Jeannine

[carolinej]

Hello
this is just a test post . I am trying to post my Pumpkincam but it wont download. Perhaps it is the pic that is the problem. We'll see

cj

[carolinej]

Sorry , I cant post any images tonight. Must be a problem somewhere. Will try again tomorrow. Try to get through the night without Pumpkincam. Be strong!

cj

[Jeannine]

Oh I am crushed, I was just waiting to see your invisible pumkins.

 My Wee Jack had an accident today and we almost lost him.

It happened at watering time, I used the same spray bottle I have been using for weeks but didn't realise that John had turned it to jet to shoot the cat who was piddling in my Swiss Cheese Plant in the living room. I naturally aimed at Jacks ickle roots and pressed the trigger.

Oh the agony, the blast shook him from his eggcup and sent him hurtling across the kitchen straight for the sink. He slid across the wet kitchen surface like he was an ant surfing in duck poop on a linoleum floor.

Right into the sink he went and straight down the plug hole.It was an awful sight  to see his wee roots vanishing out of sight as I lunged to save him.

I panicked and quickly turned off the tap. Pausing only for one split second to console Jill who was hysterical with grief, I grabbed the phone and  dialed 999.

The firemen were there so quickly and had the jaws of death out so fast,Jack was quickly pulled out and handed to the ambulance men who went to work on him. 

We were very fortunate that one fireman who is heavily into cross stitch on his shift had forgotten to take off his magnifying specs  in his haste to get to us and he was able to see him in the U trap.

Jack was visibly shaken but quickly regained his strength. Jill I fear will take longer, she has lost some weight since the trauma, we supect that the emotional harm has turned her anorexic.

A big thanks went to our local action men, we are so grateful we have promised to buy the Firemans Pin Up  calender this  coming year instead of the usual cats.

I do hope you get your camera working shortly.I would like to send you pictures of our two wee ones but I fear they have had enough excitement this week.

XX Jeannine

[carolinej]

Oooh Jeannine, the shock of it all could have killled them! You must have been out of your mind with fear. That's the trouble, pumpkins are like dogs. You just get sooooo attatched.

Warning....if your pumpkins are near the computer screen, please move them somewhere out of its sight while you read the next part.

 I do wonder what we will be doing with our pumpkins after the competition is over. Usually,it's on the compost heap, or into the green sacks for the council. Now I know that to give your life in order to help another organic vegetable is noteworthy, but do you really think that it will be the best way for the prizewinning pumpkin plant. Obviously, they are not going to make it to the new year, so we need to discuss suitable arrangements. I think it would be nice to have a few chioce leaves pressed and then laminated. they could be used as flowerpot stands.

Anyway, I'm off try posting the pumpkincam again.

cj